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February 28, 2005

MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

This guy needs to hire this guy.

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You know, if I can't rely on Dave for my cockroach related news, I can't count on anything.

Oh, and ew.

Auckland restaurant needs Marvin Zindler. (anybody remember Marvin? "SLLL-IME IN THE ICE-MACHINE! ... Marvin Zindler, EYE-witness news."

Where's those geckos when you need 'em?

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.....

Ewww! That guy has an infested restaurant!!! Oh, and the other guy eats bugs.

Mo Mo Teahouse's New Business Plan:

1) Hire Indian roach eater
2) Rename place "Fear Factor Cafe"
3) Launch advertising campaign touting new "Delhi Fare" menu
4) Sit back and wait for the crowds

I am very thankful that the second link loaded slowly enough so I was able to click out right after I read the headline. No further information necessary, thank you!

You really, really (I mean really) do not want to know about the kitchen of any place you eat. Roaches are the least of your worries.

Now, point of order on the roach eating record - do they have to be born? I mean, what if you just ate one mother while she was in the act of laying eggs? That could be like, 10,000 roaches in just a couple seconds.

I'm picturing this Indian guy, laying on the couch, watching TV and snacking on his roaches, then beating himself up because he just can't, can't can't can't keep to his damned diet.

"I can't believe I just sucked down that whole bag of roaches! You know what they say, they crawl around on your lips, then go to your hips!"

Too grossed out by the second story to comment...

There's nothing quite like a bag of crispy cockroaches washed down with a pint of goat piss.

Lairbo, I sense a career on Wall Street for you! Brilliant.

How big are these cockroaches? 50 in a minute? That's nothing! I'm sure I could beat that! I figure I could fix a good eight or nine of 'em in my mouth at one time.

LMAOTIC ...at the post on the second location, namely "Man Hospitalized After Refusing to Pee."
This dipstick actually tied string AROUND his dipstick, so he wouldn't have to visit the mens room at work...'faces surgery to correct the problem...' My imagination is on overdrive, what? he swelled up like a gigantic water-balloon? "Here comes Fred down the hall..." SLOSH, SLOSH, SLOSH...

What? They're very healthy - high in protein (really).

candy tutt (not butt?)-
The problem comes when the string digs into the skin and cracks it, then the skin closes up around it. Leads to infection and other nasty complications like loss of circulation and/or feeling. 'Course, doesn't sound like this guy was getting much anyways.

I feel like Dave has a personal vendetta against me.

Josh -
H'mm, if it was "Butt" I'd be a lot closer to the top when things are listed in alphabetical order...but then, I'd miss out on all the Egyptian jokes -- "Tut? You mean like King Tut? Are you Queen Tut? Or can I just call you Nefer-titi? OW! Hey, put down that sock, okay, I take it back...OW!".....

My favorite graffito of all time was added to the usual "Employees must wash hands before returning to work" sign in a restaurant, viz.

"or at least lick their fingers."

('Till There Was You")
Cafe owner: There were bugs in my store
That I didn't think were lunchmeat
No, I didn't do much at all
Till I met you!

Kumar: For my supplies, I'd leave bait
But I couldn't use a rest'rant
Now I've got more than I cram down
'Cause I met you!

Both: Now there's roaches and sweet pest
abatement.
The Board of Health tell us we should franchise!

If you've got lots of bugs
And you think that it's a problem
You might just give us a call
See what we'll do!

New kitchen worker at the Ritz:
"Gee, I didn't know you sprinkled chocolate chips on top of the whipped cream on the desserts?

*gosh, they all moved when I accidently bumped the table!*

"Happy Birthday, Josh!!!"
Sorry I didn't bake a cake, but I lost my appetite on this story. Anyhow, have a wonderful year and many more.

kat

To clear this up. I lived in Auckland for a year and a half. in fact i lived in Mt Albert, for about six months, where the Cockroach Cafe is situated.

I can't say i ever ate there, or at least took one foot inside, saw my Waiter roach and decided that this wasn't my place.

hu hu grubs (a distant relation of the cockroach) are a New Zealand deliacy though. Maybe he was trying to breed them.

Dazzle,
You mentioned the 'hu hu grubs.' Were they imported by the British or the French? They probably landed when Capt. Cook was exploring the north island and the Maoris were they FIRST to discover their offering to the great 'gods of the cusine.'

"... the Scottish Rite Masonry conferred the 33rd Degree upon him - the highest honor one can receive in the Masonry. "

Masonry?

... The 33rd Degree is given to only a few ...

Especially since the Supreme Court ruled on Miranda v. Arizona and Escobedo v. Illinois ...

Blogfly -

Yeah, well ...

I mean, I knew "masonry" but where I grew up, the Lodge group was the Odd Fellows, and the nearby towns had either Knights of Pythias or something else, but the Masons ... as we heard them referred to, on rare occasions ... well, that was it ... "Masons" ... so my education was neglected in that rather superficial area ...

(I'm K of C, myself ... but that can get to be pretty involved with things like ostrich feather plumes on the hats, instead of those red fezzes ...)

Red Fezzes wbagnfarb?

NEway, tnx for refreshing my memory ...

kat

The Huhu grub is native to New Zealand. They are whitish and when cooked, have a peanut buttery taste and a crunchy texture

I'm an NZer.. and you couldn't pay me enough to eat a huhu, roach or a weta *warning for people who don't like bugs. This is a pic of the world's largest insect on record (pic about halfway down the page)*

They're actually not that ugly.. kinda cute little guys. I still wouldn't want to find one in a cafe kitchen.

Huh. I always wondered why Peter Jackson's special effects company was called "Weta". I thought it was some kind of acronym. It's a TV staion here in Washington DC. Now I know it's also a monster NZ insect. Neat.

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