HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

And source of far too many rock band names to count.

(Thanks to John Brooke)

Comments

[BarryFS]

I think they need some Canadian cows over there.

[punky brewster]

Well, if I had to supply a whole area with electricity soley through my prodcution of dung, my bottom would fall out, too.

[BarryFS]

I have worked out that they should be using penguins, not cow doings. They just need to find a reliable source of penguins.

[antiroach]

Dear Holsworthy BioGas,

I would like to volunteer my poo to rid you of your odor problem cuz my s*&t don't stink.

Sincerely,

Randy Moss

[Tamara]

Someday you guys are going to have to ask me about the company I work for. Because posts like this, for me, are industry research.

[igloo]

2:27DBT
"One of the tanks wasn’t gas-tight". Good grief, neither am I.
Anyway, they could solve some of their problems with a pipeline and the special "Elephant Crappers", modified of course to fit the cows. Hell, a couple of magazines, and some privacy and they could pipe this stuff straight to the plant.
2:31 DBT

[BarryFS]

I would rather strain hard all day, than see something nasty happen to punky's bottom.

[Tiko]

But the bank thought their business plan stank.

[punky brewster]

thanks for looking out for my bottom, Barry.

*smooch*

[Christobol]

"Can I buy you a beer?"
"Sure. What do you do?"
"I work in shit."
"Ha. Sometimes I feel that way. Really, what do you do?"
"I take shit and turn it into electricity."
"Oh. I just thought we were sitting too close to the bathroom."
"No, that's me. No matter how much I shower."
"Well, thanks for the beer. I think I'll go talk to that gay ape over there."
"Whatever."

[Tiko]

Who has to follow behind the cows as a collector? 54 liters a day? WOW

[BarryFS]

Anytime punky.

For anyone who is following the penguin fuelled diesel engine project on the DBFPUS forum - slow progress. Ran out of penguins.

[slyeyes]

Holsworthy BioGas — slogan: It’s good for you and made from poo

Do you think they have that on their business cards?

If so, gotta wonder about the graphics.

[Rainy Daze]

What about using weasels? They're almost identical to Penguins...

[MOTW]

Dung Bust or Bung Dust?

[igloo]

"more odourresistant glassfibre roofs".

I thought these folks invented the English Language. Perhaps the editors(I use the term loosely), could benefit from a vocabulary shower curtain.

[julietine]

Anaerobic digestion plant wbagnfarb

[candy tutt]

"still a going concern..."
-- and going, and going, and going -- (SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! MOOOOOOOOOOO)

[Christobol]

Judge: Mrs. Clamthighs, can you tell the court why you are seeking a divorce?
Mrs. Clamthighs: My husband brings his work home with him.
Judge: Ma'am, in today's competitive markets, most people find that they must work harder and longer, just to keep their positions. There are people in India just waiting to take jobs away. You should appreciate that he works hard, and that he brings work home so that he can spend more time with you.
Mrs. Clamthighs: He works down at the poo-electricity plant.
Judge: Oh. Divorce granted.

[Di]

Tamara - Enquiring minds want to know what type of poop business you work for???

[BarryFS]

FWIW penguins burn better than weasels in a internal combustion engine. Injection is still a problem, as is a lack of penguins, but the fact is - they have more heat value and burn cleaner.

[Bangi]

GOOlectricity!

[igloo]

Somewhere, somehow ENRON must be involved in this mess.

[powerhungry]

Re: Igloo's point--Speaking of a massacre of the english language--

"Lorries carry slurry daily to the five-acre site from 26 farms, as well as waste food from the Cornish pasty firm Ginsters and blood from local abattoirs."

Say what?

[Tamara]

Di, do you really wanna know, or are you just saying that you wanna know? 'Cause if you don't want to know, you know, you don't have to; just say, "no."

[candy tutt]

Holsworthy investors were sure
Electricity they could procure,
But the Germans austere
Said "Kiss our dairy-air,
Das Scheiss smells just like cow manure!"

[Bangi]

do they charge customers per kilofarts?
*ducks*

[Bangi]

Punky
LOL
Bangi

[Rainy Daze]

Ah.. Good point, I never considered the inherent problems with stuffing weasels through the intake manifold. I could see now where Penguins would be more of a practical choice. Thank you for the clarification.

*Logs 'Penguins' as new renewable source of heat and energy to propose to board members*

[Di]

Bangi - HA! LOL "Kilofarts"? I don't wanna know.

Tamara - You're (not your) right. I was just saying that I wanted to know (not no) (and not knot)... what was I saying again?

*walks away confused*

[Targetgirl]

"It’s good for you and made from poo."

Uh, this implies oral consumption, no?
Ew? Eew ew ew ew ew?

I know it wouldn't rhyme well, but I'd rather see it amended to say:
"It's good for your world, and comes from buttholes."

[Bob]

I am looking forward to the day when we make reall efficient use of cow methane by equiping them with methane capturing bladders for later harvest and use.

[Higgy]

Speaking of kilofarts - where's Leetie??

On the "good for you and made from poo" - how'd you like to have been in that brainstorming session?

"It's made of sh*t and it's such a hit?"
"No cause for flap, it's made of crap?"
"Won't give you lumps but it's made of dumps?"
"We're not mad hatters, but love fecal matters?"
etc, etc...

[candy tutt]

Note to powerhungry--
lorry: truck
slurry: liquid poop
pasty: British meat-pie
abbatoir: slaughter house
Ginsters: UK for Mcdonalds

[Tamara]

Ow! Stop twisting my arm!

I don't usually make jokes about my job, because I *love* my employers & believe what we do is truly beneficial to the environment, but it's fair game for anyone else, so here goes. Simply put, we compost biosolids. (Well, not me personally, of course; the composting plant is hundreds of miles from my office.) This means, we take sludge from wastewater treatment plants, and, instead of piling it up at an already-overloaded landfill, make it into an incredibly effective compost. (I tried explaining this to a friend recently, and he grew weary of my "inane product peddling," so perhaps I should stop there.) Isn't it great? In C-bol's words, I work in shit!

PS Higgy! Hilarious!

[BarryFS]

Inquiring minds wonder why people have to go out and wait for cows to oblige.

Surely all that is needed is a hook-up to a sewage line.

[teachmiami]

“My family and I put in £25,000 which, with the benefit of hindsight, wasn’t the best move in the world."
"Hindsight" and "best move" in the same sentence.

[Rainy Daze]

"Virgin Gorilla and the Biosolids" WBAGNFARB

[Writer's Cramp]

"...blamed the plant’s German builders for “bodging” a membrane on a slurry tank":

"I'm sorry guys, the company has done all it can but we just couldn't make it work"

"But production has been outstanding!"

"Yes, it has"

"And... we've processed more tons than were budgeted!"

"Yes, we have"

"And... we've sold record amounts of bio-friendly fertilizer!"

"Yes"

"Well... what's the problem!?!"

"The Germans keep 'bodging' the membrane on the slurry tank"

"Can't we send them back to Germany?"

"They're afraid they'll be put to work as prostitutes"

"So, we're going to lose our jobs because the Germans can't refrain themselves from bodging the membrane?"

"We think we've found a buyer"

"Who?"

"Some German company"

[Witchiecoo]

Higgy - ROFLMAO!!!

*snort* *sniff* *tear*

[Di]

Wow Tamara!
That sounds absolutely fascinating. Your company should consider partnering up with that place out here in Illinois that does those 'dust to gems' diamonds out of dead people. It could form a "one stop shop" for the ultimate in recycling convenience!

[BarryFS]

You guys didn't believe me when I said that BMW stood for Bowel Movement Wagon.

[Higgy]

Ah, good - there's Leetie....

Have some Gas-X, babe!

[kingw]

Tamara like TAGRO. If so good stuff.

[Higgy]

Leetie - I KNOW! I'm jealous. Then again, I'll be having drinks with Marie in Paris on Saturday, so I guess I can't complain!
Have a blast with Jeff - bring a camera!

[Wally Ballou]

"Pathogens, nematodes and weed seeds"

The "Blood, Sweat and Tears" of a new generation.

BTW - My company works with poo, too - in the business, we say "It may be p_ss and sh_t to you, but it's our bread and butter"

[queensbee]

"Lorries carry slurry daily to the five-acre site from 26 farms, as well as waste food from the Cornish pasty firm Ginsters and blood from local abattoirs."

Trucks carry slurry [the leftover watery stuff] to the 5 acre site from 26 farms, as well as carrying waste food from Ginsters [some kind of pastry firm], and blood from the slaughterhouses.
Yum.
I think that's what it means.
and this is one of the funniest threads going. oops. bad choice.

[Tamara]

Kingw - Yes! Exactly like TAGRO! *clapping hands and jumping up and down* Yaaay, compost!

[Uh-Oh]

" ... it can smell unpleasant ..."

Well, No Sh!t, Sherlock ... what gave you the first clue?

[Alex D.]

No, not just good names for rock bands. There's a name for an entirely new genre of music in there -- POWER DUNG. Of course, the term could be applied to [insert most hated type of music here], but then it wouldn't be as much fun.

[BarryFS]

You're thinking ..

Crap Rap?

[insomniac]

I read the news today, oh boy.
It seems Holsworthy lost its Biogas.
And though the lights kept burning on
They couldn't fit the bill
Folks downwind were ill.

Business dropped off when seals broke
It smells like England needs its diaper changed!
Though cows and pasties did their parts
Nobody was really sure how many BTUs you get from farts!

I'd love to turn them on...

Woke up, got out of bed,
Put a gas mask on my head.
Went downstairs and drank a cup
Eyes watering, I noticed I was late.

Made my lunch, and in my haste
Forgot I'd lost my sense of taste
When I got to work the breeze had changed
If I inhaled more than once I'd probably start to scream!

I read the news today, oh boy.
It seems that Trump had bought up Biomass
And though he won't say what he paid
His old hair will soon be made
Into enough fuel to keep us warm until Judgement Day!

I wish he'd soon be gone...

[candy tutt]

BRAVO INSOMNIAC!!

[don]

Even better headline:

Dung power falls out of bottom market

[Elizabeth]

I count 20 great names for a rock band:
1. Dung-Driven Power Station (instead of just Power Station.
2. The Cowpats
3. The Giant Slurry Pits
4. The Unpleasant Smells
5. The Smell Containers
6. Made From Poo (the new Hoobastank)
7. Gas-tight
8. Leakage
9. The Slurry Tanks
10. Bodging the Membrane
11. Blood From Local Abbatoirs
12. Liquid Fertilizer
13. The Anaerobic Digesters
14. Lorries Carry Slurry
15. The Original Manure
16. The Ginsters
17. Pathogens, Nematodes, and Weed Seed (a la Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, but with weed)
18. The Slurry Tank Membranes
19. Blame the German Builders
20. The Bad Odours (British spelling key)

[akgirl]

If weasels work but don't burn hot enough, how about lawyers??????????