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February 18, 2005

BREAKING CHER NEWS

When she retires (current estimated date: October 8, 2038) she want to be a Kiwi.

(Thanks to julietine)

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Wearing pink slingbacks, black cord cargo pants, a white T shirt and black hoodie with pink tinted sunglasses...

But which wig was she wearing?

Damn this slipshod NZ reporting...

Inquiring minds want to know...

WHAT WIG was she wearing???

Now that was close....same question for spots one and two, and only 9 minutes apart. Excellent race!

What makes you think she was wearing a wig? She had a live zebra stapled to her head.

The singer has hired a helicopter so she and her crew - which included a manager, several hair and makeup people and a head bodyguard - can see more of the countryside.

Head bodyguard? Who guards the rest of her from the neck down? Anybody? If we can't protect our most precious and revered of celebrity trunks, arms, and legs, what can we protect?

No surprise -- Cher always said she was good down under.

No surprise -- Cher always said she was good down under.

"...the perfectly groomed Cher..."

So, now she's a horse? Fine.

She doesn't want anything grand, just 20 acres and some beach.

Well, if that's all.

Dave, why don't you sell her part of your New Zealand ranch? Maybe the part where you were going to build "Midget Fantasy Island", where those under four feet tall could live out all their hobbit fantasies while you pointed and laughed?

Oh, and btw Dave, I was very disappointed with this link. Your description made me hope someone had, in fact, broken Cher.

d'art, just what i was thinking!!

and why does it take so long for the post to go through?? does anyone else have this problem or is it just me?? i DO have dsl and it stil takes about 45 seconds!!

Lollyk,

I have the same problem....

i'm so glad it's not (not snot)just me.
i was afraid i was never gunna be first and now ii have renewed hope!! thanks julietine

*hugs julietine*

now if i could just manage a post without errors!! DUH

* goes to corner to paddle herself*

lollyk, it could be worse, you could wait 45 seconds and then get a quadruple post.

Not that I speak from experience or anything.

Laugh all you want y'all... I have a radio in my bathroom and listen to a local station every morning as I'm getting ready.

Yesterday, at 5:15am CST, my bathroom ended up looking like a Tsunami had just hit it.

I was taking a shower and about done soaping and loaf-a-ing, when I heard it. Cher is coming back to Chicago. I jumped out of the shower and across the bathroom, pulling down the curtain and slipping on the tiles in the process, but I managed to turn off the radio before they played any clips of her music.

*rubs her shin*

It's not funny. That woman has the life span of a twinkie or a cockroach. She scares me.

Di,

You are toooooo hilarious!!!..

**hugs Di in a non-sensual non-lesbian way..not that there's anything wring with that!"*

Bye! dont let the door hitcha where the good lord splitcha...

*starts packing to leave for New Zealand*

*thinks with new pink hair she can become part of Cher's entourage*

*practices singing Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves while packing*

'World's Sexiest Grandmother?'

Not even close.......

Now that Bea Arthur, that's a fine piece of woman there........

*licks another toad*

Eleanor,

Do not forget the wigs baby!

And don't forget the 'Toxic New Zealand Toads! I wonder if Cher can see them on the beach from her airplane? She might use them in her act. They would look real 'neat' with irridescent flaming pink paint on them while they hopped around the beach and made 'Whoopee'to Cher's crooning.

I bet I know where Kat will be Tuesday night

*you kids crack me up*

julietine, in my case it "is" snot (not it's not) on my keyboard

sorry, I ment lolluk (not julietine)

sorry, I ment lollyk (not lolluk)

(sorry it took me three times to say that)

(sorry I said sorry so many times)

(I'm just sorry)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

That is all.

Oh, and Dave has 20 acres somewhere in NZ for people under 4 Ft tall? *goes to measure* If I chop myself off about 4 inches above the knees I'll well and truly get in. There will be anti-Cher radar all around.

and Tuesday night? Not that it matters, as I don't live close enough to the Westpac Centre to hear ANYTHING (whew!!), but I will be tucked up in my little online world. If any noise seeps in, I'll just crank up my new Ray Charles CD, (Genius Loves Company... I get the other one after the next payday), and pour another glass of wine.. or three.

And that REALLY is all.

Kafaleni,
I suppose you are referring to the Maori 'Underground'Freedom Fighters. (the 'little' people you referred to) They have started a revolution to 'free' NZ from the British! We all know that DB is a supporter of the movement (not the bowel one) The Maoris have enlisted all of the 'little' people in the western world to come to their aid. Our motto is: "POO on Prince Phillip!"

Actually, I was going with a reference to C-bol's post at 4:43pm yesterday. to quote
Dave, why don't you sell her part of your New Zealand ranch? Maybe the part where you were going to build "Midget Fantasy Island", where those under four feet tall could live out all their hobbit fantasies while you pointed and laughed?

Actually, I thought the article was going to end with the great humanist and PETA person Cher (when she isn't biting squirrels in the neck for her next exotic fur coat) departing immediately to expose her nipples to Koko. Well, there goes idealism down the drain.

I spent last semester studying abroad in New Zealand, and this is a HUGE deal to a lot of them. They do NOT want her there, and I can't say that I blame them. Also, she kinda doesn't know what she's talking about. New Zealand is anything but tropical, it's rather far south. Quite chilly, in fact.

Wonderful country, though... Wonderful.

Were you in Otago gfunk?

Just a guess lol

gfunk,
On Christmas, everyone goes to the beach on the North Island of NZ and sings Christmas carols, like, "Dashing Throw the Snow,etc.." while sun bathing under the trees with the big red blooms on them. (It's still rather breezy, however)

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