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February 08, 2005

ATTENTION, COMPETITIVE PARENTS

No point in letting your teenager waste several minutes a day showering; turn bathroom time into study time today!

(Thanks to Kim Krajci)

Comments

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By studying my shower curtain, I have become an expert in molds and mildew.

In our house, finding reading material in the bathroom has never really been a problem. In addition to magazines, there's always the latest Dave Barry book available.

Of course, there's probably very little in "Boogers are My Beat" that would be considered SAT material.

"Teenager?" Heck, preschoolers are already taking Drivers' Ed! I'm buying that shower curtain now!

"“I love the shower curtain, but we have only one shower. Could you put this stuff on other things? Good luck!” ~ Susan B. (New York City, NY)"

Like...books?

Sorry. Bogarting first today.

(Hangs head in shame and shuffles off to tryst with OJ)

This would be a great gift for people who don't keep reading materials in their guest bathrooms, forcing us to read their shampoo for entertainment.

Ooh! I have the top 100 Karaoke songs of all time shower curtain ... good times.

"It's Raining Men" is number one in case anyone cares ... :)

Now you're probably trying to figue out what number two is ...

Or maybe you're all just picturing me naked in the shower ...

Well it's

Oops ... I got tackled by my co-worker ...

sorry 'bout that.

“I love the shower curtain, but we have only one shower. Could you put this stuff on other things? Good luck!” ~ Susan B. (New York City, NY)

Actually no Susan, that would impossible. The physics involved with the creation of a shower curtain give it a unique trait we here in the science community like to call "being able to write something on it". This trait, when isolated under extreme conditions can only be duplicated on other shower curtains, making this discovery quite impressive and akin to other such great discoveries as electricity, the remote control, and low-flow toilets.

And to think, all this time I've been spending my time in the shower singing and pleasuring myself, when I could have been getting a top notch education. Man, what have I been doing with my life?

Overheard from Mickey Rourke...

"What's this shower thing again?"

I was so busy 'refreshing' the comment page on OJ that I forgot to check to see if I was missing anything on the main page.... guess not.

*goes back to OJ comments*

"Thad! Get out of the bathroom! For crying out loud, let someone else use it!"
"Just a minute. Gaaaaaaah!"
"What is taking so long?"
"I'm studying for my SAT, okay!"
"I don't think the word masturbate is going to be on there, and if it is, I'm sure you'll get it right, okay!"
"Shut up!"

C-bol!!!!! I think my heart stopped when I read that one! Too funny!

C'bol,
You're hotter than a gorilla in the San Francisco Zoo!

SAT? Forget that. They need products for college students. If the masters of procrastination could use their showering time to study, just think what could be accomplished.

Okay - don't EVERYONE perform chest compressions on Tamara at once, and I'm not sure taking your pants off is entirely necessary.

Now, Punky, about your coworker tackling you in the shower....

Woman 1: Yea, my little Jeffery is at that age.
Woman 2: What age is that?
Woman 1: You know, THAT age. His voice is cracking, he's growing a mustache, and he's taking much longer showers.
Woman 2: Oh, I see. Are going to confront him about those?
Woman 1: No, I don't really see the point. He's much happier, has a lot more confidence, and his grades have never been better.
Woman 2: Are we talking about the same thing here?
Woman 1: I don't know. But give me a sec, I'm going to go in there and help him, he's been at it awhile. He was having such trouble with one of them yesterday he had to call the whole family in to explain it to him and help him through it. I can see it now, he's going to be someone special one day.
Woman 2: *snickering* Yea, like a Senator.
Woman 1: Or even President!

C-bol: That caught me so off-guard I nearly fainted, but then I considered the possible ramifications... so instead, I wet my pants.

*cheesy smile!*

Their rolls of toilet paper containing one word of the Oxford English Dictionary per sheet ought to be a big seller.

You know, they could do a lot with this idea. All's you need is a shower curtain you can write on yourself. Have a big speech coming up? Can't remember the details of that alibi? Write it out on your shower curtain!

i usually just have urine and boogies on my shower curtain

i have been inspired by my shampoo bottle, and consider its (not it's) wisdom daily:

"Healthy Body Radiates Bounce"

Soap pervades my rectal cavity

Kinda makes me wonder what Norman Bates had written on his shower curtain ...

Punky -
We know what Number Two is ... just try to not do it in the shower.

I was showering with rubber duckley
My SAT scores really were suckley
But by reading the curtain
Soon I was certain
My word power's greater than Buckley!

This is not a half bad idea. I'd bet my lady's tetas that America is lovin' this product as much as I love my lady's tetas.

This could catch on, become an entire bathroom motif.

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