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January 20, 2005

EXCLUSIVE TRUMP WEDDING UPDATE

This blog has obtained the following exclusive photograph of the wedding cake to be consumed following the exclusive nuptial ceremonies for Mr. Donald Trump and The Next Temporary Mrs. Donald Trump. Our sources tell us that more than 178,000 eggs were used in the making of this cake, as well as a stick of butter the size of a Humvee. The cake is currently under heavy guard; already, two Access Hollywood helicopters have been shot down by surface-to-air missiles.
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taj mahal 15.jpg

Comments

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First?

There's a guy on the right-hand side of the photo that looks like he's holding out a fish for an orca to jump up and eat.

An Orca? *snort* Nothing's to expensive for The Donald! Nothing's too tacky, either...

Oh well. Let them eat cake.

How the heck are you going to keep that top layer in your freezer until the first anniversary??

Then again, odds are on that they won't even MAKE it to the first anniversary...

Not even close to as hideously overdone as the bride's dress. That mess she'll wear cost $100K!

In all fairness to his Donaldness, of course he's going for freebies with his wedding! Who wants to be paying for your wedding a month from now when you've already filed for divorce?

At the exclusive table will be served (exclusively) STUFFED CAMEL:

In a cookbook called International Cuisine, presented by California Home Economics Teachers, 1983 (ISBN 0-89626-051-8), you will find:

Stuffed Camel

1 whole camel, medium size
1 whole lamb, large size
20 whole chickens, medium size
60 eggs
12 kilos rice
2 kilos pine nuts
2 kilos almonds
1 kilo pistachio nuts
110 gallons water
5 pounds black pepper
Salt to taste

Skin, trim and clean camel (once you get over the hump), lamb and chicken. Boil until tender. Cook rice until fluffy. Fry nuts until brown and mix with rice. Hard boil eggs and peel. Stuff cooked chickens with hard boiled eggs and rice. Stuff the cooked lamb with stuffed chickens. Add more rice. Stuff the camel with the stuffed lamb and add rest of rice. Broil over large charcoal pit until brown. Spread any remaining rice on large tray and place camel on top of rice. Decorate with boiled eggs and nuts. Serves friendly crowd of 80-100.

I got dibs on the toes, Beaatch!!

Perhaps those squid are beaching themselves in anticpation of both the Donald's third wedding AND Cher's goodbye tour. It's obviously the end of the world.

The cake has been named the 'Trump Mahalania'.
In lieu of spoons, each guest will receive a personalized Bobcat compact excavator.

It doesn't look nearly shiny enough to be a Trump cake. Besides, it doesn't have his name on it.

Donald Trump is proof positive that you can buy anything except class...the man is sooo tacky...have you guys seen the inside of his apartment at the Trump Tower?...talk about gaudiness!!!

What are you saying? I consider his comb over to be the height of class.

"No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public." - H L Mencken

And Mencken had never met Trump.

I mean is not like he's a nouveau riche..he went to the best schools, to Wharton, the guy had all the priviledge and opportunity to get some class in all that time but NOOOOO....and at least this time he's marring someone with a little more class...not like that Ivana...oh God talk about tacky!!!..she's like the queen of tackiness...

Julietine: Melania has exactly the same amount of class as Ivana. Once again, I refer to Exhibit A - her dress. Which, if you saw it at Goodwill, you would assume it was the sad result of a first grade sewing class project.

Ivana is only jealous she didn't think of it first.

Can anybody tell me WTF in Miami I can find a camel???...I want to make that dish...

Sharazod Eboli listed on the bottom right as the recipe source. Must be a pseudonym, since this must be a secret known only to wealthy Saudis and Donald Trump.

errr...that would be bottom left. I had my back turned when I was reading it.

Actually I think that guy is applying more frosting to the pillar. (I'm not sure why he's using a fish though)

Somewhere North,

Ok you do have point..I saw the dress and it is ugly!!!!.....

have you guys seen the inside of his apartment at the Trump Tower?...

Julietine, no, The Donald had me blindfolded when he took ne up there. Which was just as well....that way, I didn't have to see that hair!!

Interestingly, his placed didn't seem all that spacious....kind of had the feel of a room at your basic garden variety Motel 6...kind of smelled like one, too, come to think of it. And the elevator ride DID seem a bit too smooth, and I swear it sounded like the door closed like a closet door instead of sliding......

Hey...you don't suppose....

Ah, but it is expensive. Which is all that matters to Ivana, Donald and Melania.

Exhibit B: The Rock on Melania's hand. Requires 2 special services agents at all time to both guard her and to lift her arm for her.

And only the best french chefs frost cakes with fish. Although what kind of a patriot Donald is to be using French chefs. Melania's dress is from France too!

*gasps* The Donald is a terrorist! Or French!

NOT KIDDING!! My friend is Palestinian. Right past the Israeli checkpoints, they walk the 6 camels in to town. They (the camels) are loaded down with the eggs and rice, etc. for the feast. The sheep are gathered from the neighbors' fields. It is a community feast.

Brian Mc, Tamara - would that be a "Cameepenishegg"?
(the Bedouin answer to the Cajun holiday treat, 'turducken')

Slyeyes,

They showed his apartment in one of the episodes of the Apprentice and one time on Entertainment Tonight...that's how I know

heh heh, MOTW said "penis"

SIX camels?! So SIX camelpenises--wait, what did MOTW dub it?...--SIX of those?! Wouldn't that feed more than a "community?" Wouldn't that just about feed the whole country?

Why am I on a camel thread two days in a row?

The recipe does indeed exist in the cookbook mentioned. Although, I don't know why it lists 110 gallons of water - you aren't going to boil the camel in that small an amount, I wouldn't think.

slyeyes - yes. It started with 'came', ended with 'egg', and is served at a wedding. har

Thanks Lee!...

I wonder if they sell camel in the meat department at the grocery stores in Saudi Arabia...

And another thing..is it a coincidence that yesterday the main subject of this blog was camel toes? and todays it is baked camel???I think not!

... And then there's the whole penis thing ... as mentioned by MOTW.

Baking a rented camel is not recommended.

julietine, I think I saw that also. In honor of the pomp and circumstance and solemnity of Inauguration Day....I was being silly.

For the record, I vote that we not eat a camel.

So do you cook the eggs before putting them in the fish? Or just put the whole egg (shell & all) in there....

Just curious...

from Lee's:

"And here's a place where you can rent a camel, if you're so inclined..."

I did this at Enterprise Rent-A-Camel and I purchased the optional damage/loss waiver policy. This was the best $22.50/pound ... er ... uh ... rental I ever paid!

Ever tried camel?

It tastes like ... chicken!

Lab Specimen: I like your camels, too.

I bet if you trained that Angel Light thing on the stuffed camel, it would cook in minutes !
Or render your barbeque pit uninhabitable for the next thousand years, I can't be sure.

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