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January 28, 2005


Do you want fries with that?

(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)


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Leisure for the yuppie on the go.

world's ultimate boy toy? betcha get more than fries with that one

Have you ever really needed to yank your wank, but just couldn't find a creepy enough place to do it? Well, your (not you're) long and desperate search is now over, my friend! Soon to be under new management; same nudies, no attitude!

1,000s of square feet of parking? For a drive-thru?

Maybe the Safeway couple should check this out.

LS they must have a lengthy response time

"Interior celing sprayed with fire-retardant insulation"
"Yessir Mr. Fire Marshall, we have coated the ceiling."
"Does it have a UL label?"
"Uh, no, it's sort of a homemade concoction. But it is fireproof."

I wonder if they have to get a burn permit to conduct certain activities

"We're having trouble with your special goat on the side order. Please pull up and park and we'll bring it out."

LS, did you miss the interior photos? Inside, it's still your typical low-class nudie joint (uh, not that I would know), just with, I guess, a pay-window and a view-window (with a timer, maybe?) on one side. I guess when you're (not your) getting your (not you're) peek (or peak), you don't want to feel like you're *alone* with the nudies, because that would just kill the whole fantasy.

drive thru? how would that work? I mean ... granted, some guys only take a few seconds ... but come on. We all know guys can't multi-task!

Wow! Dave and Judi must be having a sugar rush after the extra bowls of "Captain Crunch" this morning.
These blog subjects are piling up faster than manure in Nebraska!

I guess this will give new meaning to the phrase, "Drive by shooting".

The only lap dance that involves doing laps around the lot.

Oh, igloo... That was good. And bad. Ew.

'Shades of De j'vou:

Where did all of the 'Nude Dwarf Garden Gnomes' go when they were stolen from the 'Secret Porno-Garden Peep Show in Munich?

*Whaps igloo upside the head with a sack of nickels*


Talk about a Love Shack.

Sorry, I got carried away. I was going to write the new slogan for Climax, "You can whack it your way.", but I won't.

Justin Timberlake does the current jingle...
"I'm Rubbin' It!"

No points for guessing what their "special sauce" is...

I (honestly) live about 15 minutes from this place, and may have been there once or twice (on accident) It is a dump. If it goes for anything close to the asking price I'll be amazed.

Hold the panties, hold the dress up
Special orders don't upset us
All we ask is that you let us
Whack it your way

KUDOS, Cubie.
If it wasn't for the hair on my palms, you could hear me clapping. No pun intended.

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, let us tease your pickles, hon, on our sexily-seeded buns

Excellent, Higgy.

Drew, please, don't insult us...

igloo, you're on a roll. I second Tamara's comment. eew.

Yea, I know I gotta quit. I was watching my Victor Borge DVD collection last night and I just can't stop the bad jokes.
Hey, one more.
I can visualize the person at the drive in window saying, "Sir, do you want to supersize that?"

Fast food slogans that can now be taken the wrong way, because I've got to get these out of my system to get some work done:
"i'm lovin' it." ~ McDonald's
"Have it your way." ~ Burger King
"You're the boss." ~ Burger King
"If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face" ~ Carl's Jr.
"Jack[ing]'s back" ~ Jack in the Box
"Nobody does chicken like KFC" (Chickens!? With or without the gloves?)
"Where's the beef?" ~ Wendy's
"You've always got time for Tim Hortons" (Tim Horton's what?)
"Think outside the bun[s]." ~ Taco Bell

Or just the name of that other west coast chain:

In 'N' Out.

Can I get a burger with that shake?

Do they require their employees to wear pieces of "flair?" How many?

*smacks self HARD and gets back to work*

Is this where the driver of the "Weiner Mobile" comes(quit that right now)for entertainment.

Interviewer: "So why put this in New Alexandria, PA?"
Climax Owner: "I kept hearing these voices in my in my head(teehee)at night,'Build it and they will come. So I did and so did they."

they're coming to take me away, ha ha, ho ho, hee hee, to the titty farm...

Overheard cell phone conversation at the drive-in window...
"Tell Laura I love her
Tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura I may be late
I've something to do, that cannot wait

Where life is beautiful all the time, and I'll be happy to see those nice young girls with their clean white...

I'd better stop now. Sorry.

Sorry, financial records are not available at this time.

apparently, the rest of that sentence must have got deleted, which no doubt read: ....and likely won't be in the future either.

Enter stage left: men in white coats

Karlota: twiddling her thumbs, and drooling just a little

Man: Ma'am, you need to come with us.

Karlota: Are we going to the titty farm?

*struggle as the men put her in a straight jacket*

Karlota: They came to take me away, ha ha, ho ho, hee hee...

Aw, G, you just beat (no pun intended) me to it.

"Sorry, financial records are not available at this time."

Response A: "No problem. I always plop down three hundred thousand dollars for a business based on decor alone."

Response B: "This is Mr. Sliceum from the IRS. We'd like to talk to you about your lack of financial records as concerns your tax return..."

do we HAVE to work on Fridays? I don't wanna

"Ok, it says here that your previous employer was a drive thru nudie club. Can you describe your duties?"

"Erm. I checked people's fluids."

"Ok, so you're looking for work in the automotive maintenance industry."

"Does that involve simulated sex with a stuffed emu? Because, that's kindof my signature thing."

Unrelated yet completely related:

Sign You Spend Too Much Time On The Blog:

You (to boss): Dave, where did you want this report filed?

Boss: My name is not, and never was, Dave.

I caught myself just in time to keep this from happening. I checked, and I don't think I have a fever. Somebody save me from myself! Again!

Interviewer: "We like to promote a team environment"

Prospective employee: "Oh yes, I have experience working with large groups"

"pints", or "points", Jeff?

OK eff, I wnt -

I'd bet that the "Specialty of the House" doesn't taste "just like chicken."

Let's see, do the math, room for about 200 cars, but if we do it as a drive-thru, everybody will want the slow lane, and we can charge them by time, instead of mileage ...

'lota - !
Good to see ya, missed ya ... got a question r.e. Minnesnowta, later ...

Child: Mommy, why does the man in the car in front keep hitting the horn even though he's first in line ?

Mother: (looking up) Oh my God !! I thought this was the drive-through at Arby's!!!

I wonder if they cater to motorcyclists?

I won't go with the "hog" comment that I was going to make..........

Punky, certain men can multitask.

We just need the proper motivation.

I'm not sure if the cleavage jeans fall under that catagory or not.....

Dandy Candy -

I've got a Safeway "Member" card ...

but I don't know if the clicker works on it ...

Your question, UO?


Well, since I'm away from the homeland, I was just curious how the U of M string quartet is doing ... they were pretty good, as I recall from when my oldest granddaughter was born @ Children's Hospital ...

Seems as if they specialized (at least then) in Vivaldi and a bunch of his contemporaries ...

I think they called them ownselfs Gopher Baroque

"Interior celing sprayed with fire-retardant insulation"

They must have to deal with those flame-thowing vaginas.

Sorry, UO, I have no idea.

Incidentally, a close friend of mine at UW-Platteville is in a quartet. Sorry; tangent.

My grandson graduated last spring from a University in Minneapolis with a BS in Music Education and a double major in Voice and Choral, a minor in Instrumental. He got a job before graduation as the music director of a large church north of St. Paul.

He went to college, but not for baroque, evidently, because he makes more money than his mother.(And she is doing all right, economically)

Ya, kC, I had a former student years ago, like 25+?, who did the same ... ultra talented, I forget exactly where he went to school, but seems it was one of those prestigious, private ones in the Twin Cities ... he got a job as organist (I am not making this up, so just hush, C-bol/mudstuffin) in a huge RC church in Kansas City ... haven't heard from him in years, but the talented ones seem to have a way of handling the big jobs ...

This kid was the one (when he was 5years old) that sang,"Old Man River" to his brand new baby brother right after his Bro. was born in the St. Paul Hospital. ( The doctors and nurses went wild!) I had been working with him for about a month before the birth to help keep him entertained while we were driving back and forth from Bloomington to St. Paul on the way to the pre-natal clinic.

kC -

Somehow I'm having a little difficulty imagining you sounding like Paul Robeson or William Warfield ... but it certainly worked for you ... congrats on the talented grandson, you must be very proud of him (as most grannies are of their kid's kids).

I'm glad that my children and grandchildren didn't take after me in a lot of ways.(being 'flawed'and all) But they did take some of my better qualities, as they took from others in the family.
It's like; "Next time araound, we'll make this right!" (on that note, LOL)

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