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January 24, 2005

CRIME RAGING OUT OF CONTROL IN TUCSON

Unauthorized Cher shirts!

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"Cher was for real"

Right. she is as real as the shirts.

"The suspects face felony charges of fraudulent schemes and artifices and counterfeiting."
The chjarges seem to come straight out of a Monty Python sketch.

'chjarges'? Yjou must be pining for the fjords.

Is Social Security a fraudulent scheme or just merely an artifice?

I am actually pining for a chjevrolet corvette, but I can only afford a fjord escort.

If you look closely, Social Secutity is a Pongi scheme.

Or even a Ponzi scheme

Note to self: PROOFREAD before posting

Is Social Secutity a new alternative to Social Security? Attend enough Cher concerts during your lifetime, and she'll privately fund your retirement years in exchange?

Unless you buy counterfeit shirts, which you realize you did because you weren't ripped off at $35 a piece.

Wait, so the shirts weren't real? Didn't these guys make some new clothes for an emporer at one point?

OK all. If we don't get our spelling words correct, his Daveness is going to make us stay after school.

Shirt counterfeiting? Cher has several counterfeit body parts. Sounds like an appropriate angle to make a few bucks, but Cher needs the profits from t-shirt sales at $35 each to pay for more surgery and continuing farewell concert tour travel expenses.

What's with the misspellings today people???

at $35 they oughta come with some of her left over (is there any?)Botox

"What're ya in for?"
"Counterfeiting."
"Sweet. Tens? Twenties? What?"
"Erm. Cher Farewell Tour T-shirts."
"Oh. Bend over."

Ha! Christobol, I never thought about it "from that angle"!

Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves...

Official shirts commanded $35.

And THAT's not a crime?

Official shirts commanded $35.

And THAT's not a crime?

Double jeopardy

There I was sitting on the Group W bench with mother rapers, fathers rapers... father rapers sitting right there next to me on the bench. And they all asked what I was there for and I said, "Selling knock-off Cher T-shirts."

And they all moved away from me on the bench....

(this post ripped off and severely paraphrased from Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant". No royalties will be forthcoming.)

I am with you, D'Artagnan and Jessica R. and slyeyes.

It is a far worse crime to let vendors sell official Cher shirts at $35 each than to have a handful of counterfeiters selling them at a still-ripoff price of $10-$15 each. I guess this means I'll have to throw away all my 'I Love Emeril LaGasse!' shirts this afternoon, just in case there are undercover police lurking around campus here. What ever happened to artistic expression? Art for art's sake?

See this? America's really not all it's cracked up to be.

There I was sitting on the Group W bench with mother rapers, fathers rapers... father rapers sitting right there next to me on the bench. And they all asked what I was there for and I said, "Selling knock-off Cher T-shirts."

And they all moved away from me on the bench....

(this post ripped off and severely paraphrased from Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant". No royalties will be forthcoming.)

Those rebels.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant..
Ba-donk-a-donk...
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

I bought a Cher concert T-shirt!
Gay 10 points added to your Gay/Lesbian card
Not Gay (75) points deducted from your Dude card

I bought an unauthorized Cher concert T-Shirt!
Gay No points on your Gay/Lesbian card and a mild Bitch slap
Not Gay (150)points deducted from dude card and must watch 12 hours of Audie Murphy movies before returning to dude status

I sold Cher concert T-Shirts and got a backstage pass!
Gay 150 points added to Gay/Lesbian card and a gold halo around your genitals for a month
Not Gay "Yeah right!"

I sold unauthorized Cher T-Shirts and got arrested!
Gay Gay/Lesbian card revoked indefinitely... but on the plus side there were a few hours of prison sex before getting bailed out
Not Gay dude card revoked indefinitely and required to ride to work on a moped for no less than a year

They were printed in the back on my Daddy's silk-screen.
The colors were atrocious,and the price was fifteen.
The cops said, "Hey would you sell us some?"
And before we knew it, the 'roo-roo' had begun...

Collars, tags, and sleeves!
The shirts were as fake as the woman they pictured!
Collars, tags, and sleeves!
But every night the 'men' would come around.
And lay their money down.

Questions about the authenticity of Cher's body parts ...

Her body parts are genuine ... plastic.

(pogo - is that like having plural copies of the original video game?)

philintexas -
"Wadja get, kid?"
"We didn't get anything ... we had to pay $50 ... and pick up the garbage ... "

OMG how I love that treatise on the hypocrisy of America's elected officials and their minions.

Official shirts commanded $35 ...

What did they command the $35 to do?
"Hey, go jump into Uncle Omar's billfold ... he looks like he needs the money more than you ..."

Tucson -
Police arrest shirt counterfeiters
Tucson police announced today that an undercover operation to halt the flow of unauthorized T-shirts at a recent concert.
Tucson Chief of Police Dweeb Freebish said the force has 27 8x10 color, glossy photographs, with circles and arrows, and a paragraph on the back of each one, to be used as evidence against the unlicensed sellers.
"And, we're going to make them pick up the garbage," he added.

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