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January 18, 2005

AUSTRALIA: LAND OF MYSTERY

Also, squirrel gliders.

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Cute little guy!

Flying "tree rats"???

As if the world didn't have enough to worry about.

Hi Leetie. Long time, no taco cat.

Beware of Squirrel signs?

Somehow I picture the "warning" signage as a silhoutte of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

GAH!!! That big-eyed creepy squirrel glider is going to KEEEEL MEEEE!!! Look at those giant pink hand-like TALONS on his big hand-like HANDS!!! GAAAAHHHHH!!!!

*runs away, flailing arms wildly while shrieking*

what is it with the squirrel fetish that this blog seems to have lately?

... i like it.

I actually know a family who owns two of those as pets. They're also called "sugar gliders". They cost something ridiculous like $400 per animal, and they basically, if they are pets, climb all over you and pee as much as possible.

I think "Thurgoona Drive" would make a great name for a garage band.

Not *my* garage, mind you, but someone's...

Anyone ever seen the documentary on the Cane Toad......
I can't wait for this one

"Cane Toad" anagrams to "anecdota," whatever the significance of that is.

"Special attention will be given to keep hollow-bearing trees in the Eight Mile Creek area..."

WTH a "hollow-bearing" tree? Hollow, filled with ball bearings?

Every once in a while the tree gives birth to a "hollow"?

*The word "hollow" begins to look wierd so stops*

They won't have any problem dodging trucks. They're quite shifty, these little buggers, and many of them carry assault tweezers and speak German.

Many an hour I've spent with the Secret Service trying to whack them out of the air with a tennis racket, and the work is neither easy, nor rewarding, nor sensible.

But the chicks dig it, so there ya go.

the sqirrel fetish is because so many people are nuts. Bwaaahhha. sorry. no I'm not.

what do the warning signs say... 'Watch for Squirrel Gliders... Twelve O'Clock High !'

C'bol- I did have to thwack a mockingbird with a badminton racket once, it was dive-bombing my mom while she was hanging up laundry.

C'bol - You're referring to the same chicks who dig the nerd from yesterday, aren't you??

*Driving on the Albury Freeway with the top down*
"Ack! Something just flew into the car and attached itself to my coconut bra!"
"Don't worry honey... Its a squirrel glider. He'll just glide over to the other side of the highway when he's ready"
"Umm... no"
"What do you mean no?"
"Well he's entertaining himself"
"What?"
"He keeps gliding back and forth between my ramparts. I think he likes it here"
"Well of course, but he can't stay"
"How are you going to get rid of him?"
"I'll take the turnpike through Jersey"
"You mean so a city councilman will shoot him?"
"No... I'll just introduce him to some Jersey girls"
"Do they make condoms for squirrels?"
"He'll have the time of his life"
"He's really enjoying himself now"
"Isn't there an ocean between us and Jersey?"
"Umm.. we'll try Brisbane and if that doesn't work there's always the roo roo"

I wonder if there is a similar solution for the problem of rogue seniors wandering through the streets of South Florida?

Signs would help, but they would have to use large print.

**ATTENTION! - THIS IS OFF THE SUBJECT!!!**
thank you for understanding.

WC-

did i read in a much earlier post (like, weeks ago) that you live in Carthage, MO? if so, i can't believe that i actually know TWO people from carthage (as it is tiny and i live in california).

okay, you all may resume SquirrelTalk now. thank you.

Tuscaloosa, AL or Carthage, MO - close enough except that a lot more things are deep fried here!

They're posting "Beware of Squirrel signs?"

Am I missing something? I mean, on a four lane highway, there's lots of semis, right? So... Shouldn't they post "Beware of Truck" signs for the squirrels? I mean, think about it. Who's going to win that fight?

Although, to post signs for the squirrels, someone would have to figure out what language to use, and then we're back to the rat and prairie dog discussion.

those squirrels would make a big *splat* on the windshield.

just sayin'

those squirrels would make a big *splat* on the windshield.

just sayin'

been awhile since I've done that.

Jeff M. -

Names? How about Possum Trot Lane, in Yellville, Arkansas?

(My aunt and uncle have friends there ... betcha if we look we can match the Aussies for wacky names here in USA ...)

Hee Hee, Sly. Beat me to it.

I suspect that's why the warning signs. Over here the big highways like that allow you to do 110kph (about 70mph). Everybody does 90mph at night. I can just imagine driving along at night when suddenly kerSPLAT!! Would scare the bejazus me.

And I suspect it would a real b@stard to get the windscreen clean again.

But typical of the road builders over here. Never built of a straight road that I've ever heard of. But now I know they are sort of wending their way around pockets of wildlife, I'll be a tad more patient.

..and TargetGirl I suggest you avoid Australia if that's your reaction to a hand-sized cute little thing like that. There's LOTS of other scarier things here - spiders (*shudder*), BIG crocodiles, snakes, sharks, to mention just a few. Especially in the north of oz.

But you get used to it after a while. I'm used to just about everything now except the spiders - and its only taken 38 years....a snip!

BTW I explained the gursting thing back at the bottom of the BLOG Time Warp fixing post - don't know if you saw it.

..and btw, about strange names in Australia, Jeff. I know we've had bits of this converstion before, but "Billy Hughes" (aka the "Little Digger") was an Australian Prime Minister during WW2, who worked actively to get conscription going to support the volunteer army fighting over in Europe.

And Thurgoona is the name of a town near Albury, which is, in turn, on the main road between Sydney and Melbourne right on the New South Wales/Victoria border. The road they are building is part of a massive job of work to connect major capitals with 4-lane highways. Thurgoona (pronounced THER-GOO-NA) is one of those lovely lyrical Aboriginal names that are everywhere and seem to flow off the tongue deliciously. God knows what it means - probably "furry engineering pest" or something.

...and a final noe for you TargetGirl, about Australian wildlife.

Just as I was heading off to bed tonight, my eye was caught by what my Honey was watching on TV tonight. It was one of those "Can you survive what a TV producer can put you through" sort of shows, like a Survivor sort of thing, except featuring twins.

Just as I was leaving the room, I saw that a pair of twins were being faced with capturing a much watched out for Australian lizzard, called a "Blue Tongue Lizzard".

These lizzards have a bright blue tongue which they show to you when alarmed.

Anyway, these twins were out somewhere alone in the Australian bush and as their challenge, had to stalk and bag one of these lizzards.

As I watched, they snuck up on this lizzard, and went to grab it. Just then it showed its tongue and.....

Scared?

Well, let me replay that with my mental voice-over commentary....

Just as I was heading off to bed tonight, my eye was caught by what my Honey was watching on TV tonight. It was one of those "Can you survive what a TV producer can put you through" sort of shows, like a Survivor sort of thing, except featuring twins.

Just as I was leaving the room, I saw that a pair of twins were being faced with capturing a much watched out for Australian lizzard, called a "Blue Tongue Lizzard". It is much looked out for because it is SO docile, that, on the off chance you might find one in your backyard, you would give it to your 2 year old to play with.

These particular set of female twins were sporting what could only be described as a really nice set of...um....shenanigans, and tight tank tops to make sure of engaging the other half of the viewing demographic.

These lizzards have a bright blue tongue which they show to you when alarmed. Like when a 2 year old goes "Oh look, a nice blue colour! Can I eat it?".

Anyway, these twins were out somewhere alone in the Australian bush, alone, except for a production crew of perhaps 200, with many many cameras and about 40 video editors to cut the shots together in a highly dramatic fashion, and as their challenge, had to stalk and bag one of these lizzards.

As I watched, they snuck up on this lizzard, and with many dramatic camera cuts and special effects, went to grab it. Just then it showed its tongue and.....I walked out of the room in disgust, shaking my head in wonder at how much money Australian TV companies will spend on American filler shows during the holidays.

Still scared?

Come visit the country for yourself, TG, its a beautiful, wonderful place. And not NEARLY as scary as the US. :-)

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