THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Now they're using errant sheep.*

(*which wbagnfarb)

(Thanks to Lord Greg)

Comments

[Corn]

Well, hmmm. Haven't they ever heard of tranquilizer darts? Poor sheep. Just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[julietine]

"but the animal did not suffer unnecessarily, said police:..YEAH RIGHT...MORONS!

[Lairbo]

Poor Little Lamb Loses Way, Life

As local police, armed with high-powered rifles and mint sauce, surrounded the sheep, the animal bleated defiantly, "I gotcher wool right here, coppers!" before being taken down.

[kat]

Reminded me of the story about the unfortunate demise of 'Branch Davidians' in Waco, TX
Big Brother really wielded their muscles.

[Marvin]

err; 'they shot it.' My circuits are overheating.

[Marvin]

Oh, and I just noticed this line:
before being shot in a nearby field.
It wasn't even a nuisance anymore, and the shot it! WTF?! It didn't kill anybody, it was no longer in the way! It was in a field, where sheep normally are! What kind of a Last Resort is it if they don't do anything while it's in the street, and then stalk it to the fields and shoot it down?!

[Bangi_Sizzles]

Sure it died...but that's not like, u know, suffering...

[BetterThanNothing]

'is name wasn't 'Erald, was it?

[MeganBNL]

That's too baaaaaad.

[andy lichter]

Let's get the sheep, baby SPONGEBOB and Tony Blair back to the Nativity !!!!!

[ErnieG]

They're tougher on sheep than they are on burglars.

[Uncle Omar]

I think perhaps the whole point of Dave's label (those terrorist bastards ... ) is that this COULD HAVE BEEN an ATTACK SHEEP in disguise.

Hence the law enforcement POV, shoot first, ask questions later.

Now do ewe get it?

"Dangerous Sheep" wbagnfarb

or

"Attack Sheep" wbagnfarb

[Bruce Alter]

Lambchops for EVERYBODY!

[Uncle Omar]

We've had similar incidents back home (Nodak), where the cops have "terminated" dogs and cats.

The dogs were supposedly running wild, and a potential danger to people. It was a "pack" of 4 or 5 canines.

The cat item sprang from behind the bushes ... no, arose ...

S/O

The cat item became "news" because we've had a significant increase in puma/cougar/mountain (?) lion sightings in the last few years.

One person (an old woman who apparently panicked) saw this LARGE FELINE and called police/sheriff's deputies.

They arrived and one of them decided that the feline was indeed a danger, so he shot it.

It was a housecat, and merely on the roam from its (not it's or itz) nearby home.

Yes, it was LARGE, 27 pounds if I remember correctly, but IT WAS A HOUSECAT!!!

Sorta makes you think twice about calling 911, don't it?

[27 pounds. Indeed a "Fat Cat".]

[Uncle Omar]

Well, to go off-thread just a bit, I gotta mention this:

Checking the channels while waiting to post (looking for Lily's football game) I came upon this "nature" (?) show.

They spoke of wildlife refuges and such, then segued into the "endangered Delmarva Fox Squirrel" which "is often seen PLAYING [emphasis mine] near the refuge headquarters ..."

The animals in question were NOT EXACTLY "playing.'

They were ... ahem ... BREEDING.

The program went to another video sequence, and then CAME BACK TO THE "Playing" squirrels.

More than once.

Nothing but smut and porn on this channel.

I came back to the blog, where nothing like that will pollute my afternoon of rest.

(Would "Fornicating Squirrels bagnfarb?)

[Eleanor]

Attack sheep here, child-killing kites on the other MB - Mary Poppins being mean to children -today is Sunday, people!!

Go and watch football!

*too bummed to continue blogging*

p.s. u.o - I told you a story on the other MB

[Eleanor]

What I meant was: sheep being killed, cats being killed children being killed -then the rest of my previous post -
Continue on.
That is all.

[Uncle Omar]

Jeff M.

Either someone even more long-winded than moi ownself, or a recruiting letter from an online law school.

Wouldn't that be considered SPAM?

Would ONLINE LAWSCHOOL bagnfarb?

[Marvin]

"I also sent an another e-mail (complaint) to the administrative office:"

Like anybody could ever pay attention to somebody who mixes up "an" and "in."

[Eleanor]

Do I have to read that? Can someone summarize?

[Marvin]

There's a sort of summary at the end, Eleanor. But it's not worth reading. I've also found this terrible use of the english language:

"two comparators did participated"

It's a shame, really, and should be burned.

[thefly]

I'm looking at the post but I can't stay awake long enough to light the match.
*strikes the match to the box*
*looks at the post*
"...adds in the November 10, 2004 affidavit that these two comparators were “at least three months ahead..."
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[judi]

is it spam? lemme know if i should delete it ;)

[Eleanor]

"two comparators did participated"

Thank you Marvin - that made me laugh - and it's nice to know you're good for something - and I mean that in the best and nicest possible way!

[Uncle Omar]

judi

At the risk of having some of my own prattles looked askance at, in my considered opinion it is not strictly spam, but more likely the plaint of someone who merely wants a public forum for his/her problem.

This is not to say that is necessarily a bad thing.

But I hardly think any of us (except perhaps Eleanor/Lily, the left-handed lawyer) are in much position to do anything worthwhile about it.

Yeah, please delete it. (That's my vote anyway.)

[Gregg]

Geeze, how about deleting the whole thread? There wasn't anything even remotely funny about that post. It's really not up to the standards of Dave's blog. I seriously doubt that Dave would ever post a story that consists solely of some morons killing some poor sheep in a field, let alone make a rather tortorous, contorted attempt to "fit" it into one of his "Those Terrorist Bastards" headlines.

"But see, the reason they shot it was that it could have been a terrorist attack sheep." Yeah, right. Hardy har har.

I'm not one of those PETA people or animal activists. But come on, you have to admit that that was a really pathetic post for Dave's humor blog.

[Eleanor]

judi - I am Eleanor the former lawyer and I vote that it should be deleted - it's much too long for anyone to (a)read or (b) care about -
I was a criminal attorney so I didn't have todo paperwork - I just skimmed part of it and I think it's b.s. - there's no such legal word as comparator -

[julietine]

The English in that thread is soo sad...and he's a f**ing law student???...I vote to delete...I come here to read about Penis enlargement operations, Romanians politicians who want to sleep with other men's wives, naked people getting in trouble, etc,etc..not for THAT crap!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Eleanor, you're (not your) the lawyer. I vote YOU read it and summarize it for the class.

All in favor? The ayes have it.

Yes, DELETE!

Thank you, Judi.

[Uncle Omar]

Jeff M.

I read enuf of it to summarize, without taking Eleanor/Lily away from her football game.

This guy got screwed/ripped off by a scam-artist "online lawschool."

He wants us to know about it.

If any of us really cared, once we saw parts of it and the overall length, we no longer do.

[Uncle Omar]

Anti-Social Behaviour Co-odinators wba REALLY gnfarb.

If the entire herd was slaughtered, then how can they (the sheep) "create havoc in gardens and cause road accidents" ... ?

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

[Eleanor]

Jeff - you're silly!!!

Lawyers don't do their (not there) own reading -
they have research assistants, paralegals, etc. Lawyers just go to court and prance around!

p.s. Judges don't do their own reading either - but keep that secret!

[slyeyes]

*wants to get 3 credit hours in legal research and writing for reading kstreetfriend's post*

*has to admit she fell asleep, though*

[Guin]

Another vote here for deleting this entire thread...mean to sheep, and wacko lawyers - a BAAAAAD combination.

[Marvin]

Speaking of English, anyone else notice the
"THanks to Claire Martin)"
on the other post? Tsk, tsk, Dave.

[Eleanor]

Chargers won!!!!!!!!

Hooray!!!!!!!!!

I see it hasn't been deleted yet - what's up?

[gecko]

Jeez, am I the only one who's JUST NOW figured out what "bagnfarb" means?!?!

The Wiltshire authorities have reason to panic.

I have a - my kids thinks hilarious - true story about nearly being trampled to death by a multitude of errant sheep. Who knew sheep could be so deadly? I can handle anything the city can spew at me but errant sheep freak me out. I feel as one with the Wiltshireans.

[amalthea]

This is totally off topic....but there are Barry Manilow ads at the bottom of Dave's Columns page at herald.com (at least when I visited it earlier). Coincidence? I think not....

[Eleanor]

Don't feel bad, gecko - I had to ask someone!!!

[Marvin]

I agree. Don't feel bad. I don't know what IMHO means. And I was LTTG figuring out LTTG.

[bbescuela]

Marv: IMHO = In My Humble Opinion.

[bbescuela]

I'm a lawyer (who does do his own reading), but doesn't prance (much).

I will summarize for you kstreetfriend's complaint, to wit: The dude's pissed because he got booted from his "online lawschool." He claims they're (not there or their) racist.

I say leave him on, he's taking up space, but not hurting anyone.

The matter is submitted.

[Hinode]

I'm just finding it amusing that this happened in Swindon... (anyone else read the Thursday Next books?)

[kdogg]

Oh no, was the gift guide the last of dave's columns??

[Corn]

OK, so he got booted from law school. What's the next logical course of action? Play the race card, write a rambling, long-winded complaint filled with insufferable legalese and bad grammar...then post it on -- where else? -- Dave Barry's blog. Makes sense to me.

Man, this guy is going to be the next Johnny Cochran.

[lindsay]

Jeez you think they could have found a vet. Oh wait, that's not as easy as killing things.

[Doug]

Breaking news of the day--no, of the YEAR (this is actually physically true): I, Doug Brockmeier, by some kind of random, accidental luck, have acquired a girlfriend. I swear to SpongeBob. I am not pulling your leg, and this is not a drill.

But I advise you, in this period of disbelief, to please remain calm, and, as always, consult your local medical professional if you are in need of professional medical assistance.

[Guin]

Well, gee, Doug, bring her on by the blog and see if she meets with our approval!

[queensbee]

well, then. i'm not a lawyer either. so let's take his case, whatever the heck it is. i stopped reading in the second paragraph. what's it got to do with errant sheep?
You dont have mice, ma'am, its sheep. its Harold, the killer sheep.

i would say that our errant law student got fleeced.

[Some call me Tim]

Ay, 'twas perhaps a shame to shoot it, but you should have seen it! It was the meanest, nastiest, foulest creature that ever roamed the earth, with huge sharp teeth...

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

What if a lawyer took up residence on the Commonhead roundabout?

[Marvin]

I doubt they'd even wait until it wandered off into a field before taking it down, MKJ.

[Christobol]

What exactly are the residence requirements around Swindon, anyways? I mean, if you stop to tie both your shoes do they come around and collect taxes? Was the sheep getting mail there?

All we can know for sure is that somebody named McGregor is sleeping alone now.

[Eleanor]

All we can know for sure is that somebody named McGregor is sleeping alone now.

C-bol, I was trying to come up with that line all day yesterday!!! Bravo!

Good morning everyone from sunny so. CA (cloudy, gray and cold) -

RE: above - all I have to say is that anyone who attends (and I use the word loosely) an on line law school shouldn't have high expectations!

bbescuela: thanks for the summary, you made it crystal clear (are you a lawyer?) - but my question is - if it's an online law school, how did they know what race he was to begin with????

[LabSpecimen]

Summary of the really long post:

I. BACKGROUND
In 1977, something happened that takes three paragraphs to explain, and has something to do with a lawsuit. The work "online" is used in the explanation, but not in combination with "porn."

II. MY PERSONAL ACCOUNT OF THE FIRST ONLINE LAW SCHOOL
30+ paragraphs that say "In my opion, bad things are happening."

III. OCR’S ABDICATION (5TH AMENDMENT CONCERNS)
The fifth that is mentioned is not at all related to alcohol.

IV. ABSENTEE STUDENTS
Absentee Students wbagnfarb

V. PERJURY
Maybe a heavy metal rock band?

VI. NO MERITORIOUS DEFENSE
A. DISREGARD FOR LEGAL PRECEDENT
Content is porn, alcohol, and rock band name free.

B. FACTS AND LAW WEIGHS IN FAVOR
Also free of anything useful. (I.e. porn, alcohol, rock bands).

C. CONCLUSION
I think it said, and I'm not making this up, "BOOGER."

Okay, I made it up. An 18 paragraph conclusion? That's way beyond my attention span. I didn't read this part.

[tech writer]

Not to get back to the topic or anything, but don't they still offer "shepherd" as an option at vo-tech?

If shooting the sheep was a last resort, what were the first resorts? Did they try a negotiator? Perhaps this was a suicidal sheep? (gnfa-grunge-b?)

[Mike Weasel]

Yay Eleanor! Go Chargers!

[Clay]

Okay, I'm pretty sure THAT was spam...

[Uncle Omar]

That would be my guess.

Hey, Lily!

I got an email that offered me a chance to get my Law Degree from an online Law School.

Whattaya think?

Sounds like a heckuva deal to me.

Or

If I knew how, I could post it here so you could all enjoy reading it.