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December 07, 2004


Now they're using foreign snails on this nation's precious trout supply.


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killer snails on the loose. I wonder if giant squid like escargo?

sounds like the stupid zebra muscle problem that a lot of places have. Aquatic animals need to stay where they belong!!!

rants from a coast guards person...

Snail-Qaeda? They're destructive but awfully gosh-darn slow.

are zebra muscles ones where you work out so hard that the striations are on the outside ?
*apologizes to McVette*

Those bastards! Now they are using New Zealand mud snails to strip entire river systems of algae and kill off the native snails!

Dave missed a connection there with the snail story. Work of just mere terrorists? On the surface it appears so. But why snails? After further thought, I am beginning to think this is a message, a calling card at the scene of the crime.

There can be no doubt, this is concrete evidence that the terrorists are in league with the French! They are attacking us with their cuisine!

Before I left Kansas almost 7 years ago, the Chinese Carp had invaded the streams in Kansas around Lawrence. They grow 'humongous' and will crowd out the native game fish. My little 4 yr. old grandson brought home a picnic box full of these beautiful fish. I even have a picture of him kissing one. We found a solution for the problem. When he wasn't looking, we buried them in my Tiger Lily flower bed. Now it's the New Zealand snails! Thy're everywhere! They're everywhere! Save us 'Big' Fisherman of the Sky!

Chinese Carp?
New Zealand Mud Snails?
Zebra Muscles? (Love to see the cross breeding video)


And (i)they(/i) say we (b)DON'T(/b) have an immigration problem....

Why not just create a new industry, and export the snails to France?

"Save a trout, eat a snail."

Hey Dave, remember that time in Kansas when you tricked Ridley into eating some New Zealand mud snails, and he projectile vomited?

I don't think they were dead.

Still, good times man.

There are seven numbers (besides the date) in this article: 515-7348 Rearranging them, we get 857-5341, which sounds a lot like jenny is trying to get in touch once more. Could she be calling from behind terrorist lines?

I think Dave and/or Judi has taken up eating a lot of seafood. There seems to be far too many marine oriented postings lately all of a fairly alarming/disgusting nature. Bring back the naked men!

Just say no to Naked Men Posts....

Kansas Trout Stamps wbagnfarb

Aaaah mon dieu, eet ees French escargots! Zis ees vhy zee French, zey eet zem, non? Zey will saute zee trout with a soupcon of Dijon mustard!
Perhaps America should re-name them to Freedom Snails? Then they will get a green card,change allegiance and work on the side of the Patriotic Sabre-Toothed Trout First Batallion against the evil Zebra of Doom. Or not.

Sandy - my rats must all have a fiber-rich diet - because I've never had to "gently massage the stool through the anus" of any of them...

Scared to think of what you do for a living...

The word "writer" in in my job title. I often feel I am gently massaging crap out a very small hole. Never thought of it that way before....


If you presently having trouble catching trout in Western Kansas, the Fish and Game Commission of Tennessee invite you to come to their state and 'fish' all day, if you want to at 'beautiful' Buck Snort, Tennessee. Bring your 'green' cards and $50.00. The tackle store in beautiful Buck Snort carries all of your fishing needs, such as; chicken gizzards, red worms, and Martha White's Buttermilk Biscuit Dough. They also carry the world's famous candy from Nashvile, "Goo-Goo Bars. Yes, that's right! Goo-Goo Bars! It's worth the trip.

Snakes and squid and snails in a hurry
Things that are slimy,scaly, or furry
All gross critters soon better worry
Our blog's on a binge, (now stop!)

*ah, showtunes*

Look is it just me or is this a boring news item...

Jeff --

Thanks for the "welcome back." I've been out of town for a while and decided to free myself and not carry the laptop.

But my, er, curiosity is aroused. "Banned?" What did I miss? Is someone banned from the World Famous Dave Barry Weblog?!

Is such a thing even POSSIBLE? What in the world would someone have to post?

Inquiring (and otherwise screwed-up) minds want to know!

Jeff - "Joe Predictor". From Heinlein's "Tunnel In the Sky"

You use it to predict how bad the "Dopey Joe" season is going to be.

You're welcome.

Trystan- Several of our regulars have been "temp" blocked from the site. Or as Peri put it.

Bubububububbbanned from the Blog
Banned from the Blog

Nothing that they personally posted that was wrong (I can't imagine how bad that would actually have to be). In an attempt to clean up all the Spam and keep it out of our beloved home, The Herald Techies somehome blocked a few of the bloglits IP addresses. Should be fixed soon. No worries. We just miss them that's all.

*Flashes Fins at Blocked Bloggeroonies*

those some of a $$!&** people thry think theyre so good well there ### $$$$$

what do you mean, teddy? I am not quite sure what 'post pound number dollars' is (or are?).

Remember this song, Mr. Fishair?

"Have you ever been a fishing on a hot summer day?
Sitting on the bank, watching the little fishes play?
With you hands in your pockets and your pockets in you pants, watching the three little fishes doing the 'Hootchey, Cootchey, Dance!"

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