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December 15, 2004

THIS IS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE CULTURAL THINGS

At least this bloggerette hopes so. (Be sure to check out the slide show.)

(Thanks to Paul Griffin)

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The Holiday Rampart Collection!

A few months ago, wasn't there a polyurethane arm for sleeping comfort from Japan? When are they going to come out with a whole person? They must be starved for human contact over there!

yes, the "boyfriend arm" i think they called it.

This is actually the prototypen for "Lap Dancer", but they are still working out some kinks. (snork)

Clearly, what we need is the ramparts pillow!

For the American market, they'll have to make a version wearing fishnet stockings and a leather skirt. Or maybe that's just me. . .

oh pleeeeze, all of you [albeit very funny....] can these poor saps just GET A LIFE? gadzooks.

Can't they just pay for a prostitute like everyone else? Or better yet, go home to your wife.

They have a yen for fake human contact.

slyeyes: they're working OUT the kinks? Where's the fun in that?

*shoots MOTW for making me spew tea on my monitor*

Would this make a perfect bed for a lap dog??

Methinks this is the guy who reported the stolen pot. No wonder his "girlfriend" didn't have much to say when being interrogated.

I'm sure they're not "poking and prying at the foam legs" to see if they separate...

Geez, folks, adopt a homeless sheep...

Or Whatever. I'm confused, now, too.

Methinks this is the guy who reported the stolen pot. No wonder his "girlfriend" didn't have much to say when being interrogated.
Somewhere North, you might want to try posting that a little more South.

Or Whatever. I'm confused, now, too.

You know, that's brilliant. Because let me tell you, the lap pillows you make from actual humans go bad very quickly.

One report says the lap pillows are available with either a red or black skirt. Another article says it comes with both so you can change them. I think that adds a whole other level of "twisted".

Who wants to bet they are "anatomically correct"?

They couldn't possibly be anatomically correct if they are missing the entire top half.

However, I'm betting that next month, there will be a news story that the top half is being sold separately as "rampart pillows"

So sorry you're confusied Marvin.

Translation: It requires the exact intelligence level to purchase foam laps as it does to report stolen pot.

All cleared up now?

So the average Japanese guy's weekend essentials include but are not limited to:

Case of Ashai Beer? Check.

"Pre-worn" school girl panties from vending machine? Check.

Tentacle Porn?* Check.

Lap Pillow? Check.

The Japanese: Leading the world in weirdness since, well since forever, Buddha bless 'em.

*if you're unfamiliar with this term, DO NOT try a GIS. Really. Don't do it.

lurker: since I'm at the office, I won't try it, but I gotta know. WTF tentacle porn?

Listen to lurker. Do NOT look for tentacle porn. You will find it, and it will be VERY DISTURBING.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

Tentacle Porn is the kind of phraseology that spammers used on the old threads to entice us to click their links.

Lurker, you forgot to mention the talking, massaging, electric-shock giving toilets.

Something rather disturbing about the tastes of Japanese men implied by such products. (Japanese men, please note the word implied)

The products seem to be marketing to those who desire to dominate dainty, subservient women, but would be satisfied with a foam pillow.

'tha heck? those two conditions ought to be mutually exclusive creating a market of exactly ZERO.

Sell your stock in this company, quick!

/semi-feminist semi-rant.

>

Hamlet: "Lady, may I lie in your lap?"

Ophelia: "No, my Lord."

Hamlet: "With my head, in your lap?"

Ophelia: "Yes, my Lord."

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