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December 28, 2004

PUTTING THE "MOUNT" IN MOUNTAINEERING

Who's up for making sauce?

(Thanks to Ted "The Sherpa" Habte-Gabr)

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Making Sauce would most likely NOT BAGNFARG.

Ah, you lika da sauce hah?

The sauce is good, no?

I maka you more sauce.

Mr. Fishair, I dated an Italian for a while...he used to talk dirty to me and it sounded just like that...

Actually make that mountain behavior climbing?

Talk about Weird Klynn, I dated an Italian once also, but then I realized I'm not Italian or gay for that matter, then we talked very dirty to each other, but it didn't sound anything like that.

Wanna go mountain climbing?

Jeez! Ya just can't make sauce anywhere anymore! First it was on the bus, next it was on the sidewalk, now it's the base camp!

And just how was it the Sherpas knew about it anyway? It was done in the snow outside the tent?

How many extra oxygen tanks does that require anyway?

Fortunatley, Professor Pettman has commissioned a haka. What the hell is a haka and is like getting commissioned as an officer?

Ok, so you can go ahead and take a dump behind a bush at the base camp and that doesn't desecrate the mountain, but if you make sweet, passionate love to a trapped raccoon....

Stupid sherpas.

No bushes at base camp?

Great, so now I have some particularly hairy people to apologize to.

Sorry. You hairy people upon whom I dumped. Please accept my sincerest apology.

Don't hang it too low PeeJay, Cbol may have dumped there.

Luckily, my a$$ smells like teen spirit.

Well, provided we're talking about teens whose spirits have been haunting a toilet.

Lessee - the higher the altitude the lower the atmospheric pressure, and the...um...er...well...more turgid the implement! Boyles law at work! Maybe they are on to something here.

Go humping on the mountain
Scaring the yaks in the thin air!
Go humping on the mountain
It's time for 'making sauce'

(verse)
when we left the base camp
Sherpas gave us the 'eye'
They said that we had cursed them
They hoped that we would die! Ohhh !

(chorus)

And they gave the professor $2,000.

"Fu**ing Funding!" My tax dollars at work. All to soothe the Sherpas.

Geez.

I don't think I've ever done this in the past, so I'll say that "Ted Habte-Gabr" anagrams to "the tab badger."

Dave, please inform Ted.

(Ha ha!)

F**king spam!!!

We need to do something about this freaking bodazhang...let's fill his inbox with nasty e-mails!....

my guess is that the good profesor hasn't had any for a while. Like forever maybe.

Luckily for us, the idiot didn't know how to post links.

So if people went up to what the Sherpas have called a sacred place and had sex, wouldn't it be like letting atheists have their fun at a church? I don't think the congregation would be happy with that, either. Just sayin'...

Anyway, how does everyone know there's sex going on if they aren't listening/watching??? That alone needs to be investigated.

Possibly the professor has a point. If there was a lot of "shaking" and "quaking" going on, it could cause an avalanche. (The law of cause and effect based on "sound vibration" would be in effect, definately)

"Wellington teacher Eileen Thwaites, who climbed to Base Camp in 1998, said she had not heard of anyone getting amorous at altitude and noted that at 1700 feet, every movement was a challenge."

How would Ms. Thwaites explain the moderate amount of sex in Las Vegas (elev. 2028)?

Having read "Into Thin Air" by Krakow and "Touching My Father's Soul" by Jamling Tensing Norgay, I understand that base camp is freaking cold. If any saucing is going on...it's under a lotta layers. Probably after the exertion of disrobing, those involved say "Let's not and say we did." Frostbitten ramparts and morton's can be a real bummer.

Girls Gone Wild: The Women of Base Camp, Nepal.

Joseph Francis, Producer: (from behind video camera): OK, any of you girls wanna show us what you've got?

muffled voice from deep down inside a down parka: I'm a guy.

Joseph: Sorry. ....Hey, how about you?

Assistant: That's a yak.

Joseph: Damn

Spoiled Rich Kid Co-ed: Hey! How about me!?!

Joseph: Ok, show us what you've got.

Co-ed: (takes off parka), Ok, hang on. (takes off fleece vest)...I'm getting there (pant pant) (takes off turtleneck sweater)...(pant, pant, pant) getting closer...(takes off long underwear tank top)...(pant, pant, pant, pant)....oohh,....um...Got an oxygen bottle on you?

"at 1700 feet, every movement was a challenge"
AND
"I don't know how they get the energy to do it." "

I thought for sure that someone would have piped in saying something along these lines:

So who wants to go with me and see if she's telling the truth and whether or not we've enough energy?

*seriously* what are the odds they meant 17,000 feet in the article? Either that or Eileen Thwaites should lift some weights !

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