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December 22, 2004

MOO

It's the "complex digestive system;" that's the ticket.

(Thanks to Susannah Nation)

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This will make tipping them so-o-o-o-o much easier. Maybe even unecessary.

What sort of wine goes with beer-fed beef?

Yeah, and I bet it makes a great marinade.

Waiter!

I'll have the ribeye, please.

Medium beer

Fleck Beer gives away beer that had outlived its shelf life.
"Bartend! Gimme 'nuther Fleck!"
* bartend give the customer's head a hard flick with his finger *
"OW! I said FLECK, not flick, you idiot!"
"Oh, sorry. That's been happening alot lately."
"Mooo Moo Mooo Moo."
"All right, all right, Bossie, here's yer mash N beer. Pipe down, yer scarin' the customers."

Wow, this Budweiser porterhouse is not only heavenly, it's bovine.

I'd love to know what Gary Larson makes of all this.

They like it so much that they hesitate to eat when their feed isn't mixed with beer, Miller said.

Is this sentence about cows or frat boys?

elle, it's about cows. If it were about frat knuckleheads, it would read

They like it so much that they hesitate to eat when their liquor isn't mixed with beer, Miller said.

The cows think this is a simply moo-velous idea!

Didn't Iowa State just start a project to reduce their stink ?? BEER IS THE PROBLEM !! I never thought I would say that.

hey. These cows would get along great with that bear from a few weeks ago.

Markhh-they'd get along with ANYBODY, if sufficiently intoxicated.

I'm just wondering if the milk is beer flavoured also.

Let me be the first to say--

Nice rack, MKJ.

It's been a while since we've had any random ramparts auctions 'round 'heah . . .

I wonder...is there such a think as a Digestive System Transplant from a cow??...Just wondering..

And can anybody explain to me what the ramparts have to do with the auction???..It just seem so unnecessary

I wonder if, after eating a large meal, the cows get more attractive?

julietine - that is why they are called "random ramparts".

But a better theory is that the "rack" is the part the mule deer uses to ram other mule deer. So the horns, naturally are know as "ramming parts" or simply "ramparts" for short.

Bangi - they may be mean drunks.

And can two drunk cows get in a "cat fight"?

Yes, klynn they do. Especially when I fantasize about them slowly turning on a spit over a nice charcoal pit. Mmmmmmm. prebasted even.

oh I see...thanks for clearing that up...I am so naive sometimes....I need this blog to corrupt me...

Wow! Rita commented on the auction before I posted it! How did THAT happen?

Kobe beef: In Japan they feed the cows beer and then massage them (the cows) by hand, and in New York they have Kobe beef steaks in restaurants for about $100 or more on the menu - here in su.so.CA. there's a gourmet grocery store that sells Kobe beef for $39.99 a pound and it doesn't even come from Japan - it's grown in Washington state where they emulate the Japanese method.

end of food lecture for today.

It's the voices in my head, MKJ. They tell me things.

If I were a guy I would be so embarrased to be so dumb!...

Julietine: Yes, the ramparts do seem unnecessary to you and me. But think of the audience they are appealing to: Men. Huntin' men. Redneck, huntin' men. Or, in Dave's words, "ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying roadkill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks." (he left out "breast-oogling". Also, "men").

It's basic marketing - same reason they use "ramparts" to market anything to guys. Beer, cars, clothes, deodorant, bread...

Guys - isn't is a bit embarassing to be so easily manipulated?

I suspect the guys would say "no".

Errrrr. No, Debbie.

We, at least know what will make us happy and have chosen something that is (relatively) easy to obtain.

Where as women seem to change what makes them happy rather frequently and thus are chronically unhappy.

Observe:

Wife: Would it kill you to help out around here a little. Like taking out the trash.
Husband takes out the trash
Wife: Thank you
Husband takes out the trash
Wife: All you do around here is take out the trash.

Corallary: Any task you do twice out of kindness is now your job and you will be in trouble for not doing it.

rita, I think they're too busy oggling to reply to your comment.

Debbie, thats the whole point. Guys want to be "manipulated". Anything that suggests "manipulation", gets them thinking about "manipulation", that may lead to "manipulation", any manipulation, any at all, they want it, they need it, they crave it.

Markh,

And you are married because?????

Precisely, julietine, precisely.

You've proved my point.

Besides which again already, boobs are aesthetic ...

look at the Old Masters of Art ... boobs (almost) everywhere ...
the Venus de Milo ...

I could go on, but I've got a new magazine I want to check the ad pix in ...

julietine - Rack = Rack ... that's all ... NBD

markhh - OR whitetail ... (in addition/besides mule deer)

ELEANOR!!! - Sounds yummy to me! (I just caught an early a.m. chance here, so thot I'd check it out ... it might be a day or three before I get back to the 'net ... depends on hotel rooms, etc. Will rejoin when @ kinfolk @ Kona ... 'til then ... drive carefully.)

HEY !!! We're (not weir) NOT manipulated!
When I buy something it's (not its) for utility or pure aesthetics --- BOOBS in the ad have nada to do with it ... HOWEVER, FIRST OFF, something like that catches the eye of the reader/viewer ... AND THAT IS THE PRIMARY GOAL OF AN ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN.

Sorry about the adv. racket lecture.

carry on

Hey - Uncle Omar - great to see you!!!! I've been to Oahu, Kaui and Maui, bu never to the Big Island, although my daughter went and sent me photos to show that they don't have beaches with san, which, pictures aside, I do not believe -

have a great time - warm weather, trade winds, ABC stores, mai tais, pina coladas, what more could anyone want!!!!

RE: Ad campaigns - all I have to say is - Jim Palmer in jockey briefs!!!!

Uncle Omar is right. The boobs get our attention, but I don't think that we necessarily buy based on the boobs being there. However like markhh's corallary,once the boobs are in the ad if the advertiser then takes them away we would be less likely to purchase said item.

Eleanor!...Jim Palmer??...UGHHHHH

julietine - are we talking about the same person??? - baseball player - gorgeous?????

I thought Jim Palmer was accepted as Eye candy for most women. I admit I really don't know or understand this subject. I mean really Brad Pitt HUH?

only here can we go from discussing drunk cows to jim palmer in his underwear.

I nominate a new productivity enhancer: read through an archived thread and try to guess the title of the article!

no charge for the suggestion - the first one is always free.

Eleanor,

I think he used to be good looking but is a little too old already....they really should know when to quit...and I know...do not say it..I am a bitch!!!

Eleanor,

I think he used to be good looking but is a little too old already....they really should know when to quit...and I know...do not say it..I am a bitch!!!

I remember Roy Blount's comment about Jim Palmer's ad: He bats right, pitches right, and apparently dresses right down the middle.

julietine - I was remembering him back in the day.....
I mean, who is there now? Marky Mark? UGH! Maybe Samantha's boyfriend from Sex and the City?

Eleanor, the actor's name is Jason Lewis... I think. Though I prefer John Corbett... formerly of Northern Exposure. ZOW.

...and then there's John Corbett's long lost twin Dane Cook, my favorite stand-up comedian of all time. O-M-G is that man a study in hotness!!! Please, enjoy~

(and forgive if the link isn't 'active')

BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS
*points at blog men*
HA!! ur so easy manipulate!!

oh by the way...did anyone mention guy(s) in underpants?... whr? whr?

hotness itself

*'hungover' cow disease*
"Do y'all have to make so much noise chewing your cuds ?"

John Corbett does it for me, too - I never watched Northern Exposure until it was in syndication and then I fell in love with it! And Corbett was in Sex and the City too - great voice (as well as body)!

1) Men aren't that easily manipulated, and where in the world am I gonna put these antlers?; and 2) If Jim Palmer had pitched in his underwear his stats would have been even better (as would the attendance).

2 Key Phrases:

1)They like it so much that they hesitate to eat when their feed isn't mixed with beer, Miller said.


2)"We have to make sure it's safe for the cattle," he said.

Hooray Beer!

I'm drinking some expired stock right now.
I like my beer aged.
I age it in my toolbox in the sun.
I love living in Florida.

Lukewarm Beer Testers WBAGNFARB

Beer rules.
Booger.

Psycho - I believe you are refering to what we called "Carpenter beers" - gently warmed in the trunk until quitting time.

I am a carpenter, and a mechanic.
I do both, it's nice to have a name for it now.

"Carpenter Beer" Hooray.

I'll drink to that.

Also, thanks for speaking to me.
This is my only form of social interaction.

8>

Joe

There are many days when being a carpenter and a mechanic sound just great. I have a wife and a Border collie and work for a company that has meeetings and have customers, and there are times when social interaction is overated.

But the time has come we once called "Miller time" and I'm shutting this box down for the night.

See ya.

Re: MKJ's gratuitous ramparts rack, the woman to whom the bra is attached looks like she's about to open fire on someone, judging by her mouth's expression.
"Dwayne, if I gotta hold up them antlers ONE MORE TIME, I'm gonna make you wish you was Bambi."

"Random Ramparts" wbagnfarb. There! I said it!

I just realized, re: the ramparts post, that no one has said, "Nice rack!" Or was that just too obvious, even for us?

as usual posting this too late, but anyway...

Out here in the fields
I drink all my meals
I get my beer in with my dinner !
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm 'tight'
Try Fleck beer, it's a winner !

Don't drool
Don't lose your cool
It makes a bovine tasty!

When I live no more
On the killing floor
I'll be short ribs, burgers, and some brisket
Should I try to run?
It doesn't sound like fun
Tell the truth, I'd be too drunk to risk it!
(repeat chorus)

You may think it's late, insomniac, but it still looks great this morning!

Guin: I, too, noticed that the owner of said ramparts looks singularly displeased with her role in the picture.

"The ramparts may be nice, buddy, but don't get any ideas about anything other than the rack!"

Speaking of late, I'm adding my belated $.02 by letting you all know that apparently beer is good for milk production. At least, that was my excuse after my kids were born. (Seriously, the pediatrician recommended drinking NA beer to increase milk. Something about hops/milk ducts blech.)

Oh, and would Digestive System Transplant BAGNFARB?

One of the biggest attractions at the local veterinary college Career Day, used to be this cow that had a stoma implant. It was basically a round lucite-like 'window' through which the inner digestive workings of the cow could be observed. Fascinating - and fun for the whole family!
The cow didn't seem to mind, and now I think I know why...

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