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December 24, 2004


We hope it fits. It's a MOAT.

(Thanks to Leetie)


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Oh, and Boo....but I believe I see him occasionally on the main blog.

No, elle. We haven't heard a quack out of him since before the holidays.

*sticks arm out of shadows and waves Hi to sly*
and to everyone else as well
*vanishes back into shadows*

*dying laughing at Neo's tossed salad, Deon's hair pik, Elle's ponytail and dayglo, and 50 other things*

You're all on a roll today.

Damn, I got some catching up to do on Christobol's book *signing into work calendar to label the rest of the day "Data Requirement Modification Architecture with L.A.B. to discuss necessary and sufficient condition" heh that'll buy me a few hours*

Indeed! the MOAT rocks today. Multiple snorks, new innuendos (ding-ding access), timeless catch-phrases (logzilla), blurker flushing and even elle!

Yep. The best "feast of the ass" day ever!

[holds up Austrian judges' score card with "11"]

"It goes to eleven.... It's one louder!"

I'm ducking out early. Everyone have a good weekend. If you want, that is. No pressure.

Lab - on the LAST thread the margins are now fixed, thanks to a very sweet, pleading and groveling e-mail I sent to judi wherein (lawyer talk) I blamed the whole mess on Marvin and promised that we would beat him (which we did) if she fixed it (which she did)!

So now, Just is sending judi an e-mail re the italics, which not only make you nauseous but make your neck hurt from leaning to the right to follow them!

I'll let you know when it's safe to come back!

sly, I don't know about any of the others, but I've seen Mahatma Kayne Jeeves in the last day or 2 on one of the MB's - is she/he a man or woman?

And Jeff, I say this with all due respect - don't you ever again disparage the movie Grease in my presence - Many years ago I had a very erotic dream about John Travolta and he and I have been connected ever since!

The "Summer dreams" number on the bleachers is, IMO one of the finest scenes ever, anywhere - can that boy dance!!!

Howdy folks.

Happy New Year and Merry Holy Day of your choice.

Just finished A U2 level recon of the various MOATs.

I have nothing to report until the film from the intel cameras is processed.

Eleanor...when I had an erotic dream about Travolta I didn't feel we were connected really. Yours must have been better.

markhh...a U2 level recon? You have Mysterious Ways. You actually did that In God's Country? The Mothers Of The Disappeared might complain. But did you see a Party Girl at the Playboy Mansion telling Stories for Boys about the Sweetest Thing? Ok I'll shut up, have an appointment Where the Streats Have No Name

(you may groan now)

Brian B...loved that story! I told Rach the same thing, but she's still hung up on the whole "medical profession" thing. Sheesh, women, go figure.


We must not allow a ... mine shaft gap!

Jeff: flying logzilla... eeewwwww. *ducks*

Josh, I thought you wrote "Where the Streaks have no name"... wonder when U2's gonna release that album?

Brian B, great article. Reminds me of Eddie Izzard: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' 'I want to be an astronaut!' 'Well, you're British, so scale that back a bit.'...

Yeah, what ever happened to Midget anyway? She's even on the calendar! Mebbe she got embarrased. Or maybe she's just feasting on ass right now and can't come to the computer.

Hi, y'all! Didja miss me? It took me an hour and 45 minutes to catch up and I should have taken notes because I have CRS. These things I remember: 1) Josh, if you ever bugger things up with Rach I'll come to your house and beat you with a Pike's Place fish. 2) Marie, I'm so glad you're here! 3) Coloring your hair is just great! I have been every possible color and combination. Speaking of which...4) Love the 80's. Still stuck in the 80's as a matter of fact - hair, clothes, music, all of it. Lame, I know, but I was cool once. 5) Leetie, Jamie did the same thing once! Except she did it while I was bathing her...

I turn on CNN every morning while I have coffee and try to come back from the dead and I have a question: Is the world coming to an end? If not, what on earth did you Yankee Doodles do to piss off Mother Nature? And just for the record: here in Prairie Canada, the schools don't close for anything. Sidewalks and roads clogged with 4 feet+ drifting snow? -2 gazillion wind chill? So what, get your ass to school and work.

Aaahh, gotta love that CRS! 6) Zoodle is still around somewhere and I don't know why she doesn't post. It's not like she has anything else to do or anything (just in case Z's blurking). 7) I think I have a crush on Wurm 42.

Peri, I know have a crush on several of our male bloglits.


I just tried some new Starbucks hot chocolate drink - it's like drinking a melted chocolate bar. I am so high off the sugar, I'm typing this from the ceiling. *zing*

Sly: are you okay?

Excuse me while I go and try to start my car. I have to go somewhere in an hour - maybe with enough time to warm up I'll be able to drive without leaving the top 9 layers of my epidermis on the steering wheel.

rhea -- apparently it's a GERD flare-up, which means I can't try the new Starbucks drink. I heard it's great.


gastro esophageal reflux disease.

It's no fun.

And, Josh, have you heard from Dave and/or Judi about the calendars?

ch-ch-ch-ch-chocolate..mmmmm! Is there such a thing as sudden onset diabetes? Rapid onset diabetes? Which, I just realized, would acronym to ROD. *tee hee, I said rod* *resumes bouncing off ceiling*

I was thinking more along the lines of 'grody environments rule the day'

Polly pops up from time to time on the main blog.

Have a great weekend everyone! I will be skiing around Anchorage -- flying home Monday morning. See y'all later!

Peri, good luck! Living in most places is just an accident of birth, but it takes guts to live in Winterpeg. :-)

Sly, if you want, I'll drink another one FOR you. hee, need more chocolate... Is it me or is it hot in here? *runs off to join a marathon, discarding clothes as I go*

rhea - I forgot that someone posted a few days ago they were giving out free samples yesterday, but I'm glad to hear iti's good and gives you lots and LOTS of energy (too lazy to bold)!

I'll tell you who's missing - eadn - and I'll tell you why: (here comes very long convoluted sentence)

about a week or so ago eadn threw a temper tantrum because, and i quote - he was "tired" of everyone saying they couldn't understand him, which didn't really bother him, IMHO, until Joshkr said it too and that's when he threw the tantrum - so it's all your fault Joshkr, although I should have said this yesterday when it was "Blame Someone Else" day - actually he did come back once after that to sort of say something "something-ish" but that was the last we've heard from him - and he had been posting on the LAST thread but he hasn't been there either, or on any of the MB's -
*stops to catch her breath*

Has everyone seen judi's post on the main page re shutting down the blog for a while? To fix the clock -

eadn blurks a lot. In fact, if you listen carefully, you can often here his Blurkmobile idling in the background. Maybe I misread him, but I didn't take it that he was pitching a tantrum.

Eadn is as Eadn does, God bless him.

I have every confidence and expectation that he'll be back.

c'est la him.

OH! GERD! Of course, I should have recognized that right away because it is a problem I also have. (Does anyone else eat half a bottle of Tums before drinking wine?). I thought you were talking about the hot chocolate and since I have never even put a foot in a Starbucks (although one has appeared not far from here, seemingly overnight) I thought I was missing a breast-feeding joke.

Eleanor, don't worry about eadn. He would never really have a tantrum and he will return - he likes to come to a screeching stop in his blurkmobile (engine rumbling ominously), scatter pearls of wisdom and depart in a cloud of mystery.

sly - great minds think alike!

Ok. just talked to Tina. Bet you wish you had.

Peri, c'est la we!


Peri! Hi baby! You can slap your fish on my any time!

Hmm...maybe I could have phrased that better...

Hehheh...sorry that was mean of me...Tina is doing great and should be on a little later tonight. I'll let her speak for herself and try to redeem herself for not being on here.

Although I told her she had a spanking coming.

Umm...by spanking I meant calendar...secret code-word, you know.

Also, where is brat at? I always feel better when he turns up. And Polly - oy vey! I can't believe they cut her position as a cost cutting measure! Of all the dumbass places to save money! My dad has a friend who is a forensic bone guy and he was telling my dad that all the CSI shows are pretty much accurate except for one thing - the speed at which things are done. Labs are always several months behind things. And there is no money to create and maintain the databases that would solve crimes in 60 minutes less commercials. There are people like Polly who can help solve crimes but there is no place for them because politicians have to keep their budgets down. A while ago I watched a documentary on rape kits and the biggest problem with them is that it costs $500 to process each ket so they don't get done and there is a backlog of hundreds of them. Whatever program I was watching offered to pay for 50 of the pending ones to be processed in New York state. Of the 50 they got 35 DNA hits. Rape charges can only be filed for 7 years after the fact but many many kits won't be processed in that time because of budget issues. I'll bet the rapists' next victims can take a lot of comfort from thhe fact that their tax dollars aren't being frittered away.

Eleanor...my fault? Well, ok so I locked Eadn in a basement with 4 buxom bikini models that don't speak any English and can only communicate by touch. I hope he forgives me...

"buxom" is, in my opinion, a word not used often enough, by the way

Josh, he will....when he comes up for air.

They were interviewing a CSI guy here in St. Louis and he said they never leave the labs to interview the suspects. If they did that, they'd NEVER get caught up.

The process the evidence and give it to the detectives and THEY do the interviewing. He went on to say if ANY CSI guy gave orders to the detectives the way Horatio did, there would be one less CSI guy in the world.

But I still love the shows.

Did anyone see the Law & Order where Jerry Orbach's character took a shot at CSI? "Where do these guys get off thinking they are detectives?"

At the rape crisis center we always got the rape kits processed pretty well. Either it varies from location to location or they took one look at my tough, imposing, possibly mean-if-messed-with demeanor and hurried them through.

Ok, it probably varies by location...

Mike...link didn't work for me, but I did find this

Awesome stuff!

Hehheh "Huygens is shaped like a wok..."

gotta cook that ass!

Funny item of the day

For some reason I really dig it...

"Your breasts will have a playful look" hehhehheh

Hee... couldn't you just use Hershey's kisses? Much cheaper than $20 and you can eat them!

Mike...you, sir, are a brilliant man.

I've heard of these and several of us at work SWEAR that a co-worker wears these. Her headlights are on even when wearing a tweek blazer. References have been made to her "bionic nipples."

A few years ago, we had a secretary on our floor who also had her headlights on all the time. One associate opined that she was "smuggling in peas two at a time."

Hersheys would melt.

*insert melt in your mouth; not in your hand joke here.*

and that's a tweed blazer; not tweek.

That's something else.

Sly...tell your co-worker "hi" from me ;)

And ask if I can tweek her blazer...

I'm bored.

DJT is also missing lately.

I'm guessing that Fed Duck is on an extended winter break from school. Let's give him another week or 2.

Sex in the City dealt with this issue. The prosthetics had 50/50 results.

Re: the blog clock and time warping: If Nava actually fixes this, I think I'll be a little annoyed. I finally got my hands on a copy of
Dr Dan Streetmentioner's definitive work on the subject of grammer when time travelling, Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. I have only got up to 'Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional' (good thing because all the pages after that are blank) but I was finally feeling that I had a handle on this past present future thing.

Leetie, I've lost the link to your blog. Could you give it to me, please?

Peri --Huh?

And Peri, 50/50 results? Did that mean one side OK; the other side notsogood?

Actually it meant that man-trolling results were excellent with the headlights on 'highbeam' but the pressure to maintain a natural equivalent was beyond even Samantha.

Marvin, where are you when I need back-up?

peri, sly - thanks for the reassurance about eadn - I had been giving him a hard time (affectionately of course) about his esoteric posts on the LAST thread about the same time he posted what I thought was a tantrum - I just blamed Joshkr because - see yesterday's calendar entry - so I thought it was my fault - (life can be soooo difficult when you're self-centered!)

Weasel - I saw the pictures on CNN - they are awesome - and not as in "awesome football play" - it's truly amazing!

There was a women who was sort of in a group that I was friends with and she wore a bra that had built-in nipples - Joshkr, you would have loved her - she showed us the bra - pretty silly!

p.s. can we move?? with my dial-up it's taking forever to reload, as in when I linked to Joshkr's porno!

I would imagine that is not a problem during a Winnipeg winter.

the headlight thing, I mean. Not linking to Josh's porno.

Speaking of porno...anyone hear Melissa Ferrick's song "Drive"? Totally makes me melt.

Uhoh...time to move...Elle, you sexay president! We need a spot.

well...I'm apparently going to a lounge to listen to jazz. And with this GERD thing, no wine.

boo hoo.

Better go get ready so I don't look so scary.

I'm out of here - will there be a here here tomorrow or will here be there????

*leaves Zen thought for the day*

*coasts to a quiet stop*

*rolls down window*

Hello All!

For the first time in my public accounting career, I have MLK day off! (keep wanting to type "MKJ" ifyaknowwhatImean?! ;-) I even arranged to leave early today at 3 p.m. PST!

Anyways, I've been blurking during lunch as usual and just want to say a few things about previous posts this week :-)

Mr. Fisher, Good Man! Please feel free to post your soft side in fair honor, Sir. That armor we wear "normally" is quite heavy and we ALL need some place to take it off on occasion!

Joshkr! I am Glad that things turned out Well with Rach. Obscurely but understoodedly ;-) all I can say is that in the theatre of the mind even gold can turn to dross if one is left alone too long for reasonable imagination! (Yes, I'm guilty of your worry-wartedness quite often! |-)

kingw! ...if you listen and pay attention without getting caught looking at ramparts you will do just fine. You should let them catch you looking at them at least once though. That way they know their efforts are appreciated. The best words I've read yet on the beginnings of true communications with the fairer sex! Thank You!

kibby! I'm not sure, given The Blog time warp / posting-order anomaly / etc., what or where or when you were attempting to be "eadnesque" (Much Thanks to You, Blogchik, for that word :-) Howsoever, well...a whole lot of being and living me goes into being and living me ;-) :-)

On "THAT"! I just noticed MORE posted today on my "tantrum". Folks, no one is to blame, but perhaps me. YOU ARE ALL OK!!!! And, Actually, for neophyte, you once posted that you wanted to know "what I thought". Well, that is the gist of my postings...honor, self-reflection, other persons considerations given their "takes", and "skinny legs and all"! ;-)

Elsewise, whoever above this week was worried about being constantly LTTG, I got the Gold, the best you can get is the Silver. (This said from a guy that used to be able to check in and post Multi! times a day! ;-) In the meantime...

*rolls window back up*

*sets cruise-control*

*tries for Austrian-CA(ough!) accent*

"I'll be back" ;-)

Eadn! Good to see you escaped the buxom clutches. Buxom clutches. Buxom clutches. I really like saying that.

Deon...just got mail from you. You're really weird. But I really like you. Well not really really like you. I mean, not like that sounded. I mean you're a cool guy. Oh I'll just shaddup. Calendars are on their way!

Of course, I always forget something of IMPORT!

My Apologies and HELLO Marie!

It took me awhile, but I do remember you from your original posts and the differentiation between you and "Marie in Barcelona".

Folks, from what I recall, Marie in Barcelona got the scholarship she was trying for and may have dropped off for the efforts of her success. She is actually more deaf than me, but seemed to have quite much supports to help her achieve her goals!

Most power to her and Marie (in Paris?!) if I've blurked you right, Thanks for coming back and jest nod and smile when I don't make any sense! ;-)

In the meantime (again ;-) having refreshed myself with aqua vita Peri (Hello Dear Sweet Lady! :-) Aw, I'd never screech to a halt...when a more tonal cumuppance is So Desirable!

Joshkr! What????!!!!

He(l)l! Where's them buxom clutches????!!!! I didn't mean to escape!

[censored ad infinitum!]

Now, Joshkr, I must needs go check a couple of links you posted that I canna check at work!

Wow. I'm at home and in the MOAT. Of course, I'll have to get off the computer in a moment, after finally getting caught up.

Such is life.

There were things I wanted to say, or mention, but they have disappeared right out of my head.

Wish I was going to a jazz lounge. Just have to listen to cd's then. Decisions, decisions.


But I have to say this despite my beer-goggle sense...a paraphrase perhaps:

Please Do Not Lead...I May Not Follow.

Please Do Not Follow...My Path Is My Own.

If You Would Walk With Me And Be My Friend,
Then Grace To You....

When The Shit Hits The Fan:

Please Run, Duck, Or Get Out Of The Way!

I Will Ask No One To Stand For Me...I Take Care Of My Own...C'est La Me & Thank You All....

(eadn stands down from his perch because it is dead and smelly ;-)

Thanks though, for your understanding...:-)

Eadn- thanks!! it does feel good to shed every once in awhile. Not that I'm suggesting that we're snakes. ;) And I see you spruced up the
blurkmobile. Looking good!

Peri - Lovely as ever you are. Nice hearing from you. Kiss the Tubinator goodnight for us. (Logzilla in the tub, I'm looking forward to that one)

Joshkr- I usually bend them over a knee and then Buxom. But that's just me.

Sly- Live Jazz. I'm jealous. I'd almost give up the wine for it.

Susan- home moating is nice huh??

Excuse me for sec, I'll be back I've got to go take a Handful of Tums...........and burp a baby.......and slice some more cheese......and ......I hope I make it back

oh and then there's that whole access the ding ding thing.......Geeez, I'm never gonna make it back here tonight.........(I apologize for the seemingly drunken debauchery, I'm afrad it is what it seems, big surprise!)

Jeff- Did you get my e-mail?

Marg Helgenberger- I will find naughty pictures of you. And I will ,,,,,,Oh hey guys, I forgot you all were here.

Look something shiny, is accessing the ding ding??!

Mr. Fisher, why don't you let me watch the littlest fish while you go drunkenly debauch something? :)

Mr. Fishair, Do Go With Grace, by me...not as much as the grace I feel for Peri, but yaknow?!

Sometimes "steaminess" is a good thing....

However, Dear Peri, steaminess with You might actually make me Buff! Even "Puff the Magic Dragon" only.... :-)

And Dear neophyte, should I want on or simply wanton or just order Chinese won-ton ;-)

Nuttin' like a virtual menu of recipes!

Sweet Dreams are made of... :-)

*Yeah, just knock 'im over. He's too drunk to stand up!* ;-)

AW, DAMNIT! Now I am embarrassed at my early olde aged bodyhood!

Ladies, jest Please if you do, Dream Well!

Or consider ever meeting that I might just take a while... ;-)

Mr. Fisher! Did I man-enough pull my ego out of that hat?! ;-)

Geez! Now I feel like a cheap gigolo on Dock Street!

Oh, well....


Naw, let me watch the littlest fish while you drunkenly debauch Neo ;)

Eadn...you're not a cheap gigalo? You've ruined my image of you...

Well, Geez Joshkr!

With ALL my experiences on the Moat(s), ya'd think I'd be worth more than a 2-dollar bill by now! ;-)

Eadn is raising his rates, ladies!

*wanders off to bed humming a lullaby medly of "Access the Ding Ding" and "I'm just a gigalo..."*

Well, now that you mention "it" Joshkr...

neo, there is a curtain inflationary fee ;-)


neo, can you shift a bit between ;-)

(yeah, I know, bad me...well(s)?

Cheap Doggeral
Those who've been drinking
Have got to thinking
So it's not surprising
Eadn's "rate" is rising
While you guys blow off steam
I'll retire to dream
Of MOATs for swan
until the dawn

P.S. Folks,

Bad me between Joshkr's posts and Neo's and my own recent (yesterday Thursday) work-history...well, ya don't want a lonnng tome of the crap I sometimes have to deal with so...bottom's up! ;-)

Had quite the night 'round here, didn't ya?

This is a test of the emergency blog URL broadcasting system. This is only a test.

Interesting... I wasn't able to link an URL to myself on the MB, but I did here... xanga is "questionable content."

*watching to see if my 10:08 post gets removed*

Good morning everyone from sunny (really!) so.ca. where it's supposed to get up to 70F today - sorry about your bad, cold weather Jeff!

*so good to be able to be smug again*

It was nice to see eadn posting, just as Peri said he would - yay, Peri!

It's strange isn't it leetie, that xanga is questionable content but that Joshkr's porno gets through just fine!

Kind of makes you wonder (or know) that the "questionable content" monitors are guys! Duh!

Hmm. It let me post the link to my website from the main blog page, but not this thread or the LAST thread...

Well, the xanga URL snuck through on my 10:08 post... just click on my name.

There's a "Links" section on the Yahoo site where some of us have listed our personal webpages and blogs and such.

Marvin, you have an incomplete haiku on your site. Drinking cold WHAT???

I don't know! I think it used to be 'drinking lemonade' and then I changed it but couldn't think of a good drink that was only one syllable. May have to change it back.

How 'bout ale? ade? tea? juice? milk? stout? meade? joe?

leetie - I have your web site bookmarked - as a matter of fact I was reading and perusing it last night -

and Marvin, how about the one syllable word "juice"?

News Alert For any admirers of JFK there's the most wonderful op-ed piece in the NYTimes today -

Leetie, thanks for the link to your site. Got it bookmarked now.



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