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December 08, 2004

BREAKING NEWS FROM ROMANIA

...where men are men, especially the prime minister.

(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr)

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I'm hoping Dubya will offer the sleep with Canadian cows, to prove he doesn't hate 'em.

Moooooooooooooo

I'm hoping Dubya will offer to sleep with Canadian cows, to prove he doesn't hate 'em.

Moooooooooooooo

I think I should be dispatched to Romania. Looks like the Prime Minister is going to need me.

Wonder if he made them think he was gay on purpose so he could try and get all the girls he's offering to sleep with.

Maybe he could offer to go to a mental ward and sleep with all the female patients there to prove he's not a mental gay?

I think I should be dispatched to Romania. Looks like the Prime Minister is going to need me.

"We are very worried about the health of Nastase, who appears to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown in the light of his recent tasteless statements."

How rude is that!! The poor fellow just wants to get laid! Good ploy, I say -

Yeah, yeah, I've heard that line before, "come here baby, let me prove to ya I'm not gay" Who hasn't?

Vi Agra is really Lou Bricant.

Journalist's Wife: You seem to be having some trouble rising to the occassion.

Adrian Nastase: I'm just a little nervous. Could you put on this ... er ... perfume? That will help to relax me.

JW: Um ... OK, I guess. Are you sure this is perfume? It smells just like my husband's cologne.

AN: Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. It might be one of those uni-sex scents, ya know? Huh ... still not working. OK, could you put these small little white undies on and my dress shirt over there and coming sliding into the room dancing to some Bob Seger?

JW: Um ... really? Well I guess I can do that. Should I stretch first? Hey! These are men's underwear.

AN: Yeah, they were the only ones on sale ... but put this baseball hat on, would ya?

JW: Um, OK. Well, here goes ... "Still like that old time rock’n’ roll ...That kind of music just soothes the soul..."

AN: Perfect! Keep going ... um ... can you lower your pitch a little ... a little more alto perhaps ... perfect!

JW: "I reminisce about the days of old
With that old time rock ’n’ roll"

AN: That's it! OK! QUICK! I'M READY! HOP ON!

*Risky Business Ensues*


Editors note: Yup. Not gay. Not gay at all.

Actually I signed in as Vi Agra. I just stole Lou's line. Thanks Lou

Proving that you are not gay, is a bit more tricky for Canadian moose herders.

And the Duke said,"Tony, you and Georgie, quit bothering me tonight, I'm just trying too get a 'little' PEACE!"

I'm sure he's not gay, Punky. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

what a humanitarian.

Anyway, judging from the usual Romanian items we get from ananova, I'd say the PM fits right in with "tasteless statements." I mean, the usual Romanian in these stories is either digging up his grandma and burning her heart to make sure she's not a vampire, driving 50 miles on the wrong side of the road when he's legally blind, or getting his dick cut off by his irate wife. So I'd said Mr. Nastase is a Romanian to the core.

Ted H-G: Move to Romania, run for office, they have found YOUR perfect job!

Sorry, the EB.

Dang!! Now why didn't I think of that!?!?!

Ah, nice to see that, like all good democracies, Romania is running an election that's focused on the issues.

Are these papers by any chance a division of FOX News?

Journalist: Well, we've uncovered evidence that several politicians are engaged in influence peddling.

Editor: Boooring.

Journalist: Alright, then. We also have a story about how the corrupt oligarchy running the country has...

Editor: Yawn-o-rama!

Journalist: Oookay. Um, there's the economy, evidence of attempts to rig the vote, a...

Editor: I know! Write a story about how Adrian Natase's gay!

Journalist: Um, we have no evidence of that.

Editor: Evidence??? This isn't the judicial system, it's the NEWS, baby!

*decides it may be a bit too early to be this cynical, runs away looking for chocolate*

actually, thefly is really Lou who posts anonymously as Vi Agra.

*pats self on back*

If this discussion about thefly, me and Vi Agra lasts for more than 4 hours (although rare), seek medical help immediately.

I'd bet the PM would appreciate some random ramparts then . . .

Cialis is good (so they say) for 36 hours!

Whenever you want me, I'l be there
Whenever you call me, i'll be there..
So just call out my name and
I'll be there

okay, so thefly, Lou Bricant, and Vi Agra walk into a bar.......

Just another example of how the voting public never appreciates what the public servants have to go through for them! Just like all the bitterness about those wmd and thousands of people dying for nothing (US). Or here in Canada, the fact we spent hundreds of millions of dollars to put Canadian flags everywhere while cutting health care and education. Unappreciative public! Poor man just trying to do his duty for society..

....I hope he's brewing some Beaver Testicle Tea to prove to the townsfolk how responsible he is...

Re: MKJ vis a vis Ramparts
"click pics to supersize!"
If only it were that easy!

Adrian Nastase,reporting for duty..

And on this blog we continue with our obscene and pornographic references as usual...

Hey MKJ would you please include warning labels like Judi (sometimes) does for those of us at work.

I second (or third) BigD's motion that we elect that headline of the day.

Quackery. Hehe. Fingered. *snork* Claire Martin.... I'll move along now.

What? There was no nudity there. She was very tastefully covered up. I checked very thoroughly. Now pardon me, I need to go prove to Mad that I'm not gay...

okay, so thefly, Lou Bricant, and Vi Agra walk into a bar.......

--Quincy, M.E.

….. and the fly walks up to a female fly and says, “Excuse me ma’m. Is this stool taken?”

…. The bartender tells Lou Bricant he is cut off and Lou says, “K, why?”

… and Vi Agra just orders a stiff Jack & Coke.

Oh, alright then. I'll go explain that to my (male) boss who now is wondering if I'm either lesbian or considering a boob job.

So Debbie - exactly what sex are you since if you can sleep with all their wives and not be gay, you must be a man. But you go by Debbie. Transexual? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

No, S.N., not transexual. Full-fledged female. But haven't you noticed that there are lots of women who perform compromising acts on other women and still claim to prefer guys?

Maybe I listen to too much Howard Stern...

So Debbie, I haven't noticed that but since you are volunteering information, for the benefit of our male bloggers, why don't you give us some examples?

Guys - you can thank me later.

Somewhere North: Sorry 'bout that. Anytime you see the word 'ramparts' it's ususally in connection with a woman's mamalian protruberances, it's a long story (not sure if you were around then) . . .

Thanks MKJ - I haven't been around (or a square)(or a rectangle) - stop it Eleanor - for too long and have been wondering what the "ramparts" allusion was...

It refers to an early article on the blog where they showed baseball player Jose Lima singing the national anthem and his ah, well-endowed wife was standing nearby and I believe Dave's comment was "Now we know what they mean when they say 'O'er the ramparts we watched.'" Henceforth ramparts came to be equated with breastesses. (Can I say that here?)

I figured out the reference (ramparts=woman's mamalian protruberances=breasts) but I thought we'd have a nice headline, maybe an amusing story or unusual billboard reference but then.. whamo! Big Breasted Woman on screen!

My boss is still giving me funny looks....

i can hear the message the rumanian pols leave on yer answering machine during the election time.. Hi, I'm the prime minister and i am not the gay candidate. the gay candidate is . . . obviously they dont have other important issues over there. or maybe it lost something in the translation.

Debbie: Howard Stern will pervert the mind.

I'm gonna miss him . . .

Have you ever seen Ice-T's wife Coco? Her ramparts have ramparts! Someone (not me, don't start) should find a picture and post a link!

Lest we forget, Mrs. Lima's Ramparts (for the people who weren't around)

Eleanor: Ice-T & Madam T. Not for work if you have a fussy boss.

(reduced evening rates apply for this service)

Thank you MJK, but you really should check out Mrs. Ice-T - the photo I saw was taken from the front and was beyond belief!

Thank you MJK, and I'm sure they're (not their real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

One sentence and I can't do it correctly -

Thank you MKJ and I'm sure they're (not their)
real !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MKJ, MKJ, MKJ - I've got it now -

*in reading this, just realized after all this time, Somewhere North is FEMALE*

*readjusts mindset*

was it the ramparts that clued you in, sly??
I just learned today what that meant and MKJ was kind enough to post a link to Mrs. Ict-T's ramparts for me, which I had seen on Page 6 a few weeks ago -

*still html-challenged and still don't care as long as I can do bold and italics*

Holy Patolie!

Whilst checking out the various sights (not sites, or cites), first off I wondered about that "supersize" option. I mean, how about those carats? (Tomatoes? Canteloupes?)

HOWever, ... I sorta always knew about "ramparts" even before these pix. There (not their, or they're) must be a reason. Prolly the old thesaurus kicking in.
RAMPARTS: Syn. - Breastworks ...

But, in this context, shouldn't it be eweparts? Any udder choices?

How about Cocoa Tea? would that bagnfarb?

No! Not canteloupes! PUMPKINS!

Let's (not letch) go pumpkin bombing!

(Dang I miss my highspeed at home. This hotel only has "data port" and I spend a lot of time looking at that little black and white wheel ... "loading" ...)

Reminds me of an old (supposedly true) story: in military school, a student asks, "What's the difference between a fort and a fortress?" The instructor thinks, then says, "A fortress has breastworks."
Oh, the military wit!

Did you know.... theat the T in IceT stands for his real first name...... Tracy. I am not making this up!

alanboss

Not sure, but I think mebbe I did know (not no) that.

Fer sure my daughter would/does. She's a real trivia whiz. But I can still clean the board in Trivial Pursuit, even against her. (Only on the old/original version tho. I don't keep up with all the new stuff.)

I'm with you on that one Uncle Omar. Trivial Pursuit: The Old Fogie Edition. The only reason I know this about IceT is that I have worked with him a few times. Someone put his real name on a call sheet. Wise people call him "T."

Hey, cool on that alanboss.

Now I can tell my kids I know (in the blog sense) a person who ... well, you get the idea.

Altho I worked in the journalism schtick for 17 years, most of the "celeb" stuff I did was shooting pix and trying not to trip the cripples. (True story, and one of my claims to shame.)

I have a cousin out here in SOCAL who's (not whose) in the biz (musically, mostly), and he's worked with some big names, but it's like I try to tell myself, in order to maintain some perspective.

to wit: Some of personal history: One of my ancestors was hanged at Salem as a witch; Miles Standish married into the family; Abraham Lincoln once worked for and/or with my great-grandfather.

Take all those, add a dollar, and I can get a bottle of soda pop.

talk@ulater

I like the Salem witch thing. Weirdly cool. Supposedly, William Bradford of Mayflower fame is an ancester to me. And, according to my wife, (the family geneologist,) I'm related, distantly to George Bush. But I try not to let that bother me too much. I've worked with a fair number of celebs in my time, but the list tends to read like a casting call for an "Old Navy" commercial!

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With apologies to those that have already contributed:

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Please ensure you have signed the card soon - click the link below to find out how.

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And I am a direct descendant of Capt. John Smith that founded the colony at Jamestown and a descendant of Richard Stockton, who signed the Declaration of Independence as a representative of New jersey
*but who is (not whose) counting?*
"Should I register somewhere? Do I get 'brownie points, or what? (I don't think so)

Wysiwyg - thanks!

Re: the article - since it comes from Ananova, I'm betting the principals named in the article don't exist except in some writer's imagination...And if Kirsten dunst or Sandra Bullock are reading this and have any doubts about my sexual preferences, please contact me immediately so I can clear up any misunderstands...

Elanor is right; not even close to being real. I'll take Mrs. L any day.

I had to look above to see what thread we're (not weir) on ... it's (not itch) sorta hard ... er ... difficult to keep track.

Besides which already ...

alanboss, kat and them others ...

No, (not know) I doubt there's (not theirs or they'res) much for brownie points in the ancestry thing, but I think that it is kinda cool.
A distant cousin of mine found out about the Salem Witch thing and put up a poster or certificicate or something over his cubicle at work, attesting to the fact that he had this connection to the arcane world.
I fergit whut he did there, but it was a computer software company. Sorta impressed his co-workers, is the way I heard the story told.

On my mom's side, I am descended from the ship captain who brought over Lords Fairfax and Culpeper to the New World. I grew up in Fairfax County. Kewl.

Also, I have an ancestress who was Jewish who fled Haiti during the slave revolt/revolution and became the second wife of some ancestor or other.

But seriously, two remarks:
- Romania is one of the few nations were homosexuality is a crime. In every yearbook of Amnesty International or HRW the country shows up with a dozen or so people imprisoned for their sexual preference. In general, calling someone a homosexual is considered a serious insult in Romania.
- The same country had serious problems with press liberty during the current elections.

BTW, Romania doesn't look a bit like the gloomy setting of the Dracula story of scotsman Bram Stoker.

But seriously, two remarks:
- Romania is one of the few nations were homosexuality is a crime. In every yearbook of Amnesty International or HRW the country shows up with a dozen or so people imprisoned for their sexual preference. In general, calling someone a homosexual is considered a serious insult in Romania.
- The same country had serious problems with press liberty during the current elections.

BTW, Romania doesn't look a bit like the gloomy setting of the Dracula story of scotsman Bram Stoker.

JFC! (not KFC) GAFL! (not ROFL)

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