ATTENTION, NEAR-SIGHTED MASOCHISTS

Check this out. Everybody else, stay away.

(Thanks to Alan)

Comments

[Witchiecoo]

Thank the blog I'm far-sighted!

...now where did I put my reading glasses...?

[xmnr]

I can't see doing this.

[Mr.Fishair]

I don't see where that was relevant xmnr. ;)

[Mike Weasel]

Today must be National Blog Things That Make You Squirm in Horror Day.

[KimJ]

OUCH! Geez, I wear glasses because I'm too chicken to scrape my fingernails against my eyeballs with contact lenses. I never realized that I could do even creepier things with my glasses.

[Marvin]

I can just see it now!
*closes browser window*
That's better.

[Higgy]

TGFL

Thank God For Lasik...

(second-best money I ever spent)

[waxwing]

I like the idea that you may wear them constantly (indeed, with a 10-minute removal time you may as well). Or at least wear them until they get caught on hair, purse strap, waving kitty paw, blanket etc. from which point forward you could then blow your nose from between your eyes. Achoo!

[markhh]

Bully: Take off your glasses and fight like a man.
Pierce: Well, see, thats a problem...

Pierce's Dad: You need that like you need another hole in your head!

[Rachel]

Maxi pads as slippers and
A snowman on them too
Supplements to help you go
Much more than just a poo

Piercing eyes and eyeglasses
A good idea that ain't
I've had enough of this gross stuff
I think I'll go and paint

[Rachel]

Okay, I JUST pressed post, and my post appeared at the correct time - well, except that it's an hour ahead.

As soon as the page refreshes, there's markhh's post, timed 2 full minutes after mine. It's not even "3":51 yet!

[markhh]

You know, five minutes with a toddler will cure him of this.

*Grab*

[Rachel]

See???? That's whacked.

By the way, markhh, my fruitopia is now on my monitor.

[Rachel]

OOOH! Curveball!

My post was also 2-minutes postdated.

[BigD]

Wouldn't a plain old Sure Shot stapler be just as easy? And it wouldn't take 10 minutes to take them off.
*yank*

[Rachel]

Watch, this post will be before BigD's.

[Rachel]

I give up. My last post was posted before the my next-to-last post, and both were posted after BigD's post.

judi.... *whine* get harry to fix the blog, pleeeeeeeeeeaaaassssseeeee. :(

[markhh]

There is some definite weirdness going on Rachel. I'm not sure the fruitopia will help. I know cola in the keyboard doesn't.

BigD - after the yank, you need to remember to apply the slippers.

[elle]

Of course this site is blocked on my server....

Anyone care to give me a description?

[logic-impaired]

elle,

if this site is blocked on your server, how are you posting?

[markhh]

logic-impaired - She used ServerBlow! to unblock it.

[markhh]

elle - a person got a peircing through the bridge of his nose and then designed a set of glasses that use the metal stud through his nose as the "bridge" of the glasses. The design has no ear pieces.

[markhh]

What?!? I crafted my response to l-i after my response to elle.

[Witchiecoo]

Oh yeah...

FIRST!

*hoping that calms down Marvin's rant about lack of "firsts" in the blog*

[elle]

1. Ew

2. I can accecss the dave barry site but not the eyeglasses site. That's what I meant by "this" site.

[Marvin]

NO! Argh, Witchiecoo! I don't want FIRSTS! I typed, literally:
"Keep up the good work!"
and now it's all for naught! Although I like saying 'naught,' so it kind of evens out.
Not! (not Naught!)

[MeganBNL]

There are entries from this morning re-showing up in my LiveJournal.

The Blog is running amok.

[markhh]

Marvin - This proves you are not paranoid. Otherwise you would have know that:

1/ Witchiecoo intentionally misunderstood your post

2/ It is part of a goverment conspiracy

Of course, playing along is a brillint gambit to draw them out ...

[Brad]

Yeah!! The cat is away and Judy will play! Higgy... even if you've had Lasik, you could still pierce the bridge of your nose. The one problem I see with this is getting debris on the inside of your glasses when you sneeze or blow your nose. Anyone know if they make a special gasket to prevent that?

[Witchiecoo]

Sorry Marvin. I'm not wearing my reading glasses, so the words in your rant kinda ran into each other.

*hangs head in shame and goes off to find her reading glasses*

You know, this wouldn't happen if I had them pierced through the bridge of my nose!

[Somewhere North]

What about when you walk in from the cold and have to get the fog off your glasses?? Huh??? What then? You'd have a 20 minute turn around time.

[markhh]

Somewhere North

NasalBlow! has excellent antifog properties. The problem should rarely occur.

[Somewhere North]

Markhh - you obviously are NOT from the same somewhere north I am. This is Canada.

[markhh]

Where I come from the state of North Carolina is considered too far north.

Currently I'm in Delaware, though I work for a Canadian firm ... Does that count?

[Witchiecoo]

markhh - It only counts if you can lick a metal fence post and your tongue sticks.

[markhh]

Witchiecoo - Is that required to live in Canada? Boy, I thought the US had some weird laws...

[Witchiecoo]

markhh...

It's like a right of passage. Every Canadian kid will at some point in their life be dared to lick a metal fence post. It's so darn cold here in the winter, the saliva fuses your tongue to the post immediately. It's pretty funny. 'Cause you really get good and stuck... better than super glue!

The only way to get un-stuck, is to warm up the spot without getting your lips stuck to the post as well. So you have to communicate to your buddy to run into the house and get some warm water or hot chocolate to pour over your tongue. Needless to say, that you could be stuck there for a while. Your buddy is usually rolling on the snow laughing his @ss off.

[pogo]

I...THINK...THE...Blogisin...A WORM...HOLE...AND...THE...clockisrunningin...LOOOOOOPS.

Cap'n! She canna take much morra this!

[Marvin]

Or even triple.

[gina.g]

The author of the article says he works for
"the largest and oldest full-spectrum body modification publication on the planet"

Body modification? Is that what we are calling it now?

[insomniac]

markhh-do we need NasalBlow! because at any one time, a person is carrying 35 lbs of mucus inside them ?

[reneviht]

I guess "body modification" is a precursor to full-blown cyborghood.

I might consider getting a monicle version of his "pins-through-nez."

[Lily]

to whom it may concern:

If Uncle Omar shows up later, please tell him I got tired of waiting and went home.
Thank you very much.
That is all.
Carry on.

[markhh]

Exactly insomniac. Some people have even more.

The exciting news is that every now and then, with NasalBlow! you get a booger that is shaped like Mother Teresa. You know how valuable that can be on ebay.

I almost hate to mention this, since currently have the market cornered on Saintly Snot. And if everyone starts using NasalBlow!, the market will be ruined.

[Josh"borg"kr]

You will be assimilated.

[Uncle Omar]

Hey, has anyone seen Lily?

I was supposed to meet her, but I got held up in traffic.

I've gotta work tomorrow, so I wanted to let her know that I'll be late again tomorrow ...

[Uncle Omar]

markhh: "ServerBlow" L!O!L!

" ... a relatively uncommon and expensive thread (as far as screws go) ..."

All the possible responses to that passage simply boggle my mind!

"unscrewing ... on my face -- a 5 or 10-minute process ... "

Maybe if he tried Argaiv?

[alanboss]

> When am I going to learn to heed Judi's warnings.I am neither near sighted or a masochist.But I looked anyway. >

[reneviht]

I am deeply ashamed of myself and all the other bloglits for not reprimanding this young man for making a spectacle of himself.

[LabSpecimen]

I had a glasses like those once, but they pinched my nose.

[morty]

They are called contacts, EVER HEARD OF 'EM? I guess not. I guess this means that watches and rings, hats, underwear, shoes and shirts are next....ouch. I'm glad I am too uncool for this $h!/. I used to be cool, when all you needed was a leather jacket and a pack of smokes.....AHhh the good old days *cough cough...cough ghaaaaa*