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December 09, 2004

ATTENTION, NAKED PEOPLE II

You're not welcome in Vermont, either.

(Thanks to Lord Greg)

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I'm the Firstest

I'm the Firstest

So...hard...to...resist...

Must...not...say.......


FIRST


(sorry)

Bloggin' Naked with a laptop and a police dog. Am I in the club?

In my opinion, the dean should just grin and bare it.

i dont think i would last long at that college

I think it's a 2nd Amendment issue - the Right to Keep and Arm Bares.

"Oh to be in college again,"

I believe that sums up my feelings on the matter.

"varsity streaking team"

First of all, I WISH my college had had this when I was there...

Secondly - if you joined, where would you sew your letter on?? OUCH!

Thirdly - gives a whole new meaning to Big Man On Campus...

How do you organize a varsity streaking team? On what basis would you elect your Most Valuable Player? And most importantly, where are you going to hang your medal? Enquiring minds want to know.

The page for the Hamilton College streaking team seems to have been taken down. I visited the college web site athletics page and oddly, there was no mention of the streaking team. Evidently the forces of darkness are massing at that school, too... Very scary.


...impending onset of the New England winter has put a temporary pause to the dispute...

wusses

Someone should tear a strip off that dean... Preferably down his front... and then run away laughing.

You're never to old to go back to school, right?

*Off to find a dorm room*

Hey! And no need to pack!

Competitive Nudity wbagnfarb

'Scuse me, got to book my trip to Bennington now.

You've got to FIGHT for your RIGHT to nuuuudity!

*strips in sympathetic protest with students*

Nevermind.
I never left.
They wouldn't let me board the plane with my Emotional Support Platypus.

oh well.

GO NADS!

This is a deeply rooted tradition dating back to the 60's, folks and I think we should just let the nudies be.

In fact, the participants in that first fateful neckid fest recently got together for old times sake. Granted, Karen's breasts now hang down to her belly button. And Harry is so wrinkled and folded he looks like a bulldog. And Keith's testicles my drag on the ground... But the HUMAN BODY is BEAUTIFUL, folks!

Besides, it all looks pretty cool when you're hyped up on goofballs.

*pops a goofball*

*strips neckid and sits down at 'puter*

((AAACK!!!))

*curses metal folding chairs*

I know what I'm getting Polly for Christmas.
From Dave's gift guide- the chair warmer.

Here ya go Polly. Merry Christmas.

oh wait, have you been naughty or, well actually I don't really care if you've been nice, just tell me more about the naughty. ;)

"Carl, Jenny, I need to talk to you."
"What's up?"
"I'm afraid you're off the streaking team."
"Why?"
"Well... you're ugly."
"But I thought this was about freedom of expression."
"Yeah, but not .... ugly expression. I mean, you can't expect people to embrace nudity if it means they're going to have to look at you, right?"
"This sucks."
"I'm really sorry, but hey, call if you get better looking, ok?"

Christobol,

So, what are you trying to say?

I mean, don't sugarcoat it.

Just come on out and say what you mean.

Sounds like the Dean needs to request the transfer of a certain Minnesota police dog to "take a bite outta crime" on his campus. It shouldn't be a big deal, as the dog is on administrative leave anyway.

"Do you think KFC is still open?"

Hey, Carl, come on, Jenny! We still want you in our study group, just, you know, wear clothes.

Oh, and it would only be fair if you pitched in double on the pizza.

Well, alright, I guess we'll come.

At least now we will have a new place to store our pocket money!

Hard-ass line of the day

"This is NOT a clothing-option campus and we do NOT live in a clothing-optional society"

Memo to Dean: Get over yourself!

Alive and well? All I get is "This page cannot be found." WTF?

eleanor what?

[smiles nervously]

um, get it?

e l e - a n - or what?

[crickets chirping]

man, tough crowd tonite.

I life in Hot Springs, AR and after police raided one of the town's topless joints, the attorney for one of the dancers filed a motion with the circuit court judge that a woman's breasts are not sexual organs and therefore exposing them didn't qualify as indecent exposure....

Well, the judge ruled that he was right and dismissed the charge. So, technically, women here can take off their shirts and go topless just like men can...

Unfortunately, I haven't seen much of this in the streets or anything. I was waiting for topless parades downtown. But nothing as of yet.... I am still hopeful, though....

Viva La Revolution!!!!!

"It is never lewd but a natural sight," says senior Lindsey Gage.

"Then what's the point?" says me!

unfunny - got it - woooo!

Ok ... let me be the first to say that if my college allowed public nudity and students went to class in the buff you can bet your naked ass I'm wouldn't sit in a chair after some naked horny college aged girl did. Aside from being totally disgusting, I'd probably slip right off the chair.

Just sayin'

And another thing! Naked outdoor picnics? In Vermont? You'd either sit on a tick, an earth worm or hot, smelly cow dung. None of which are all that easy to get out of orifices.

I like my clothes just fine. I'll leave naked streaking and frolicking to foreplay and doctors visits.

Um Writers Cramp, you might want to read this.

Isn't it cold in Vermont?

This is another reason why I support pubic education.

Pinto: the same is true in Winnipeg, sadly no topless women have ever been in evidence when *I* visited.

As regards this story I feel I need pictures of Lindsey Gage and Allison Zoll to fully understand the issue. I also feel I need to avoid naked pictures Stuart Hurd of to avoid seeing Stuart Hurd naked.

"wouldn't sit in a chair after some naked horny college aged girl did. Aside from being totally disgusting, I'd probably slip right off the chair."

Punky, you silver-tongued devil.

I call 'em like I see 'em, pogo.

:-)

I guess the kinda leave a slime trial like a slug?

Even worse ... boys leave skid marks.

"I guess that leaves a slime trail like a slug?"

Hee hee! You guys are grossing me out. Thanks.

*gets up from chair*

((SLLLURRRP!!!))

*gives Polly a pull*

POP!

There ya go!

Punky: DO NOT!

Well, I don't.

Usually.

LMAO at Leetie's comment.

We could climb a glass wall with these things.

Better be careful about that glass wall climbing - get distracted for a minute and things dry up, well you'd be stuck...

That'd be one hell of a view from the other side of the glass, though.

I heard it's the glass ceiling that's a challenge, though...

*ducks*

Chicago, AP

WOMAN STUCK HALFWAY UP HANCOCK BUILDING

Chicago emergency services were preparing to attempt a rescue of a partially clothed woman who appeared to be scaling the The Hancock Building but inexplicably became stuck at the sixtieth floor...

And another thing! Naked outdoor picnics? In Vermont? You'd either sit on a tick, an earth worm or hot, smelly cow dung. None of which are all that easy to get out of orifices.

Punky, I have to ask: speaking from experience?

Anyway, at this time of year you'd more likely be sitting on an icicle.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Polly, where you been? We missed you. And don't bogart the goofballs.

"We don't expect the students to conform, but to 'transform." Quote from the Dean(?)

*What do they expect them to transform into?
Social butterflies, flying around from flower to flower, carrying the pollen and distributing(?) it across the campus*

overheard one male stripper student who had chosen his own curriculum:

"I think that I will be a 'bee' today and pollinate, Polly. I wonder how many credits I might earn for that!"

Well, you know those college kids. They "pollinate" whatever they can...

Dear Dad,
Thank you for writing. My tuition next term will be 80 bajillion dollars, not including bail, and cortisone cream.(everyone in Econ.101 has this weird rash, but at least I escaped the Lyme disease epidemic that decimated the naked ROTC team!). On the lighter side, my math professor showed up 'au naturel' to class, and the first two rows had to get their stomachs pumped. Our stick-in-the-mud dean tried to join the streaking team slipped and got, well, stuck in the mud.
No, I don't want any of those old metal three-ring binders. They are So High School. Also hazardous.
Signing off now, I know it seems like a lot of money for me to get 'formed' here, but honestly I'm hardly spending anything on clothes!
your loving 'Muffy'

Dear Muffy-

So glad you're having a good time -
the check's in the mail!
And thanks for economizing on the clothes -

p.s. Muffy - do the boys refer to you as Muffy??

lol insomniac.

" ... nestled ... nudity ..." in the same sentence. Who's (not whose) kidding whom, here? Talk about your slanted journalism!

" ... never lewd ..." Not 'lude.

I thought the 2nd amendment said "... the right to keep bare arms ..." (wanders to library to check Preamble ...)

C'bol: L! O! L!

" ... not a clothing optional society ..." Oh, really? Have you seen how some people "dress"?

Lily: Wanna do some pro bono work in VT?

leetie: What? Another registration form. NBD

punky: What? Girls don't leave skid marks?
(One of my co-workers said his wife found a "health-related" item saying that the healthy adult will commit flatulence "12 to 15 times per day."

We all consider it a moral victory, and definitely a morale booster.

Just remember: It is much easier to get away with the SBD than it is the NBH. (Subject to moisture check, anyway.)

Seasonal streaking (not a bad nfarb)... Thing is, we girls get cuter when we're cold, guys less cute.

Meanwhile, what this language (Eng.) needs is inferioritives for the other side of superlatives. You know, we've got -er and -est for cute, cuter, and cutest. What's the solution, gang? Do inferioritives get prefixes instead of suffixes, maybe? Cute, uncute, unnestcute...?

Brilliant wordopaths help me out here!

Guys don't say "kute," so we can't help you out there.

in Newspeak, it would be 'uncute' 'plusuncute' 'doubleplusuncute'
But I am a dead pseudonym,after all!
(for Lenore)

What do you expect? It's Vermont. Bunch of liberal wackos.

But they make good maple syrup!

Uncle Omar -
Let's go - We will file a class action lawsuit on behalf of all the students and we will accuse the Dean of taking away their (not there) right to Freedom of Expression - this is a First Amendment issue - speech in the form of nudity! I love it - you can be my research assistant!

Uncle Omar - you seem to have a very limited window of opportunity for being on the blog - is that correct???
Of course, if your (not you"re) window is closed for the day you"ll neverr even see this -
*sighs*

lenore:

r.e. "uncute", et cetera. Well, there's always "ugly" but that was not your (not you're, or yore) question.

So: an example would be the adding (or taking away) of the letter "A". As in "typical -- atypical" or "moral -- amoral" ... therefore if we consider the word "attractive" and then remove the prefix, we would have "tractive."
I think that works, but all three editions of my Fowler's are @ home in Nodak, so I must rely on memory. (A tricky premise, said Mr. Short-term Memory, briefly.)

Another example: r.e. the use of and/or deletion of suffixes:
If we consider the slang term "studly" and wish to give that image/concept a 180 swing, we could say "studless"

These are the only examples that occur to me at the moment.

However, the question r.e. the use of "cute" or "kute" or "cutie" also touches on a comment by Marvin/Paranoid-Android.

MPA says "Guys don't say 'kute' ... "

DO TOO!

I say it. Admittedly in a reverse context/concept. Such as when I feel something -- an event, a concept, a plan, a child, an adult-aged human who has not yet grown to maturity -- is "over the top" -- I will comment ... usually under my breath, only for my own observation as follows:

"TFC"

By which of course, I mean exactly the opposite.

You have brought up an interesting concept, based in the art of sarcasm, irony, satire and parody.

As you say, we don't really have the "opposites" in the same form.

I will expect an essay on this subject tomorrow. 5,000 words should be adequate as an introduction to your thesis.

(TFC? Too F***ing Cute!) (That's why I say it only to myself. My mother ... and cruel experience ... taught me to be careful of what I say. )

(As you have noted, I'm being ... cautious? ... with my choices here. NOT!)

Which is another method we could try, tho the style is stale.

"Cute!"
"NOT!"

or

"Not cute"

whatever

MPA: NBH = Noisy, but harmless. (hence the need for a moisture check)

LILY!
Wow! DOUBLE WOW!
A new job offer! I can ... almost ... stand the excitement ... the thought of poring over musty lawbooks or other arcane databanks into the wee hours, searching for meaningful statements to reenforce a particular point of behavior or manners ...

WAIT A MINUTE!

THAT SOUNDS LIKE BLOGGING!

"What sort of ass do you think I am," he shouted hoarsely!

"What sort of ass do you think I am," he mimed, dumbly.

Seriously, it sounds interesting.
I'll need a stipend of $360/billable hour ... oh, wait ... I'M the guy who said "pro bono", right?

But these class-action deals usually net some boku bucks, right?

Re-search? Heck, I'm still searching the first time.

I gotta think on this one.

I'll get back to you.

Eleanor/Lily:
Hey, your latest comment came in whilst I was doing my response.

Yeah, my window is sorta limited. I'm working (?) during the day, and when I get back to the hotel I've got to do paperwork and then sandwich in a meal there (he said, tastelessly) somewhere, and then find the time to blog.

It isn't a case of not wanting to -- this is a WHOLE BUNCH better than TV in general, not to mention being better than a poke in the eye with a pointy stick, or the other "better than" idiom which might get me banned ...

No, if someone does me the courtesy of recognizing something I've put my name on, I appreciate that and will respond ... when time permits ...

Best I can do. Hope that good enuf.

What about those chocolates?

Got any with Chokecherry Jelly inside?

(Sorry, that a North Dakota-ism ... not really a joke, just a self-deprecating reference to our rural origins. Find a former Nodak anywhere, and they most likely have memories of Juneberries, Chokecherries and other folk-isms from growing up time on the prairie.)
(But it's legit. Nodaks DO make candy with chokecherry jelly inside.)

Was that a sigh of disappointment?

Or merely one of non-surprised resignation at the foibles of the species?

talk@ulater

u.o.

What? No pictures with this story? (The first one, not Marvin's.)

Re: Marvin's story.... What a world.

M/PA:
yeah, depressing, but not really very surprising.

however, I have a fairly large problem with the concept of the (apparent) premise behind the "lookalike" rule.

How many products in today's marketplace resemble some of those "banned" items? (Rhetorical question, mostly, for illustration purposes only.)

The Diet Coke can bears a strong resemblance to Coors, or some other brand, I forget which.

The bubble gum in a round can is almost a twin brother/sister to various colored snuff containers. (But then, tobacco wasn't mentioned, was it?) What about "candy cigarettes" or bubble gum cigars? (We had a law in Nodak years ago that tried to restrict candy in this way. It proved almost impossible to be practical, and it was eventually repealed.)

What about a toy "Doctor Kit"? That prolly has a hypo in it.

What about the mundane items of daily life/work that have been adapted/adopted by the drug culture?

Oh boy, I think Eleanor/Lily needs to get her lawbooks out on this one. Sounds like a trip to D.C. next October, to me. (If the mom can afford the costs. Doubt it, since the girl was selling "something" to make money for Christmas. Another case of the poor not getting equal recognition/justice under the law, as compared to the not-poor.)

But back to your disappointment.

Yes.

Mom could have had her take cookies, or doughnuts or crisped rice bars, or sell greeting cards door-to-door ... do kids still do that stuff?

Yup. Sad ...

I get the sinking feeling that (haha, get it!?) Uncle Omar is trying to get the last word in on most every post...

Marvin (and all),
I keep meaning to mention how much I love the number of blogglits who have Douglas Adams inspired nicks. Makes me wish that I had called myself "Dirk Gently."

M/PA

Not really. It's just that I enjoy the commentary, and my blog time seems to run later than other folks.

That, and I like to check to see who says what.

(Who's on First. What's on Second.)

(Yeah. Ha, Ha. I get it.)

"Carl, it's me, Jenny. I need you to come over to Econ 101 right away."
"I'm kinda busy, what is it?"
"I'm stuck to my chair."
"How can you be stuck to your chair? Wait, you're not naked, are you? We were told to quit that, because, you know."
"Can you spare the lecture and get over here and help me? Oh, and you might want to bring a pry bar, some vaseline, and two albino squids...oh, and some pork rinds, I'm starving here."

As my dear father-in-law used to say, "99.9 percent of the human race looks a whole lot better with their clothes ON!"

I've been to Bennington. He's right!

I'm very familiar with Bennington, having lived in Vermont for 10 years. I can't imagine why this guy is president of the college. Bennington is known far and wide for its way-beyond-liberalism. The dude needs to lighten up or go somewhere else.

Mmmm ... pork rinds.

M ... that sinking feeling.

Hey - there is no way any of those students can compare to 50+ people streaking on my campus **during the middle of** Hurricane Jeanne!

Pinto,
What race did you run in at 'Oaklawn?'

I want to see somebodies butt

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