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December 09, 2004


Stay out of Minneapolis.

(Thanks to zensen. Also the Adair Family)

Advisory: The first link was to a registraton site, so we have changed it. That is the level of customer service this blog is famous for.


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Dog bites dog

New meaning to the term Kibbles and Bits

Oh my. I'm not even a guy and.... OUCH. And the guy kept fighting even after being bitten? Wouldn't most guys just curl up on the floor?

What kind of dog was it?

A wiener dog.

*Got to say wiener*

"The dog did what the dog is trained to do . . . "
(Just wondering, are the trainers mostly male or female?)

It's me twig and berries baby . . . OUCH!

Well, did it spit or swallow?


elle: elle!

When i said Beans and Franks, i was just yankin' your chain (not mine).

Hopefully in the future this guy will remember that

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Skoo51: That was my thought, as well. So I am suspecting that maybe this guy isn't a real guy.

Hey, can I train my dog to do that?

Hey, can I train my dog to do that?

Well, how about a little of your famous service when it comes to a link to the Miami Herald. They usually throw up a registration screen and I'm not giving them all that personal information such as my Visa number 5788 4693 3400 2357, exp. 12/06




Hey Mac! That's MY Visa Number! How RUDE!

This guy was running nude in Minneapolis in DECEMBER?? Given the shrinkage factor, either John Holmes walks again, or that dog has FANTASTIC aim!

Mine would have been cowering around my kidneys at that temperature....


That is all I have to say about that.

The dog was removed from street duty while the incident is being reviewed

So the dog now has a desk job:

Caller: I'd like to report a crime in progress.
Dog: Woof.
Caller: I'm being attacked by killer bees.
Dog: Woof, woof.
Caller: So you'll send someone out right away?
Dog: Woof.
Police Captain: Maybe we should re-think our re-assignment of dog.
Dog: Woof.

"The dog was removed from street duty while the incident is being reviewed..."

But why take the dog off the street? So as not to infringe on the constitutional rights of naked guys who want to attack a cop and his police dog? To give the dog time to think about what he's done? To transfer the dog to duty at a Piston's game? So the dog can take anger management classes? I just don't get that.

"After the man was bit, he continued to attack officers and police used a stun gun before eventually restraining him,..."

Man, he musta been "hamstered".

If a good munch on the testicles didn't bring him down, I'm surprised a taser would. Just sayin' (and ouch!)

Higgy: I have to agree with you. December. Brrr...

Judge: Mr. Naked Man, you have herby been sentenced by the court to serve no less than 90 days in the county jail. But first, a little Roo Roo!

Maybe the dog was tired of beaver-testicle tea and wanted to try something new.

O.K. O.K. Y'all know that I'm flying to Minnesota Monday morn. Thank God! I will be staying South of Minneapolis. (in fact, close to Cannon Falls where the Elf Mall is located, and THAT'S A FACT!) I will also visit the Hobglobin Harp Co. located between Cannon Falls and Redwing, because I want to peruse the 'tin' whistle section. (Elves don't play harps, so I will just glance at them,--the harps)
I will be on the 'lookout' for any strange looking 'dudes' running 'a la nude.' Maybe, he is looking for me? Well, he won't be of any use now. I don't need anymore 'lame ducks.' (ha)
I will try to bring everyone back one of those chocolate Mooses that play 'Jingle Bells' through their 'squid hole.' I've tried to repent this Christmas Season, but unfortunately, I slip and slide every once in a while. Is this message (monologue) long enough? Say When. kat

Higgy and Drizzt, I have just one word for you:


That is all.


Does the dog still get paid while on administrative leave?

I found out about this article when actually naked (!) and I found it pretty funny.... Don't worry, I won't be in the buff outdoors in Minneapolis! LOL! (Oh, and by the way, I am STILL naked as I type this - we grad students have the luxury of not having to share a bedroom on campus.)
Anyway, I am NOT that big a Streaker! lol

oww. Idjit.
hope they gave him a jailbird jumpsuit. hey wbagnfarb.

Ha! New meaning to give a dog a bone, eh?

Docstudent: Rah! Rah! Rutgers! Rah!

How tough and/or hopped up on goofers do you have to be to attack anybody, much less a dog and tazer toting policeman?

Of course, as has been pointed out, he was running naked in Minneapolis in December, so some level of hopped up on goofers is assumed.

You people have rules against running naked in the snow too?? Boy, you're not allowed to do anything. From my wealth of experience in cold temperatures, he couldn't feel the dog bite him in his.. ahem.. "data" because it was frozen. What the story leaves out is the Lorena Bobbit angle which was a particular fascination of the dog.

A piece of advice I gave my children long ago was, "Don't do anything that will lead to a headline that causes people to say, WTF?!?!"

I'm relieved to say, this was no child of mine.

And the dog said, "hmmm, tastes like chicken."

So sly which worked - the testicle tea or the laptop to prevent this being a child of yours?

DSWSBS (DocStudentWhoShouldBeStudying)-

That's not what your computer chair told us!


Hopefully the dog has Darwined this wacko so that he is now unable to reproduce....Wouldn't want those genes passed along, I don't think.

This old man, he ran nude!
K9 bit him, did not chew.
With a nicknack, taser shock,
Give the dog a bone -
This old man went limping home.

thanks for the inspiration, markhh

good one MOTW!!

I think this character was 'lost' somewhere in the 'time' machine and came back from the 70's not knowing just where in the world he was. Evidently , he thought that he was back in Miami at the the University.

When the 'streaker' saw 'snow' he thought that he had landed in heaven and was seeing 'snow' not the cold stuff!

Beer for Tiger - hmmmm....is that like oil for food?

Good luck in Singapore, BigD, if you find the Tiger and get the beer, will you share it will all the bloggers?

Severed balls, severed balls
It's Christmas time in the city.
If a dog, grabs your nads,
Soon you'll be in for a 'shock'!

Hold that Tigar!
Hold that Tigar!
Hold that Tigar!
Hold that Tigar!

Hold that Tigar!
Hold that Tigar!
Hold that tigar!
Hold that tigar, NOW!

O.K., Peter, you can let go
NOW! Tigar Lily isn't going to bite you.

I live in Minneapolis, am often naked (in my home, not the homes or yards of strangers), and my dog leaves my naked parts alone. Well, I sometimes get a cold nose where it's not welcome, but...
hey, it's kinda nippy in here.

*goes to prepare kindling for nice warm fireplace*

Targetgirl, perhaps if you changed your name your dog wouldn't be so nosy.

insomniac -

Chilly sidewalks, busy sidewalks
Dressed in naught but a smile!
In the square
There’s a man who is streaking.
Children laughing, cops harassing
Running mile after mile
As the doggy clamps down you will hear . . .

Bravo MOTW and Insomniac. You could replace Gibert and Hammerstein.

Oops - Gilbert and Hammerstein and opposed to Rogers and Sullivan

I do it for all those who work, or frequent, retail during this season and have to listen to hour after hour of the same canned muzak. Put in some silly words to keep yourself sane. People will wonder why you're smiling.

One of my favorite sites:
Favorite song: A Doggy Wonderland

Well it just ain't Christmas until I have heard Porky Pig do Blue Christmas.

I don't know why I am reminded of this item

(Warning: male doll nudity, kinda gross too . . . )

wwwe have a winner! fabu MOTW. great. now i have an earworm.

MOTW, thank you for the inspiration. After a month now of the same dozen songs over and over again at work I was about ready to kill my next customer. Now I will be smiling when the cops take me away.

I'm with everyone else that is pissed about the dog being assigned to a desk job! And "yeah right" the dogs aren't trained to go for the sensitive parts... Seriously, the doggy did a good job in the most efficient manner! Kudos to the doggie!!!! A whole box of Scooby snacks for the good boy!!!

MKJ - $7000 for that - I don't get it (don't want it either) - what is that about?

Eleanor: God only knows . . .

I don't know, naked at home is okay, but I don't like being naked in front of the cat. It's just not right, somehow.

Ain't that the truth....

This story reminds me of the good old days of PCP.

What's that?

Oh, right. I guess they weren't such good old days after all...

BTW - I don't remember Mick Belker ever getting desk duty for "Officer-Involved Biting".

For further reference: Visa numbers start with a 4. (MasterCards start with a 5)

And for some damned reason This Blog's threads number starts with a FIRST!

(Thanks MKJ)

Kudos to MOTW!

[shudders from mental image Boo inflicted]

My thoughts:

"After the man was bit, he continued to attack officers and police used a stun gun before eventually restraining him,..."

How exactly do you use a stun gun in a manner that has more effect than a crotch-bite by a police dog? Just imagine this guy picking up his personal effects upon release from jail!

Desk Cop: ...and I believe this is yours too.

Streaker: What is this? I didn't have no ziplock bag full of dog poo.

Desk Cop: Oh, its yours alright.

A cop dog gets chewing some nuts,
That K-9 has surely got guts.
Minneapolis nudists,
Both local and tourist,
The advice is: quit being a klutz.

Higgy, you made me LOL.

bravo - MOTW for putting the 'ball' over the goal line !

I sent your 'doggie song' to everyone on my Christmas list. It will precede me to Minneapolis (or rather to Minnesota,) and across this land.
Pico especially liked the song. He could relate to it. Unfortunately, he will be staying in Austin during Christmas with his step-brother, Chris and won's see snow. I know that's cruel, but he will still have plenty of nice green grass and twigs to 'pee' on and of course, he will be there with his adopted mother, Kitty, the cat. She is now 15 years old and is quite feeble. Pico says, "Going home fur Christmas, is the nicest thing that a 'doggie can do. I miss Mom! Kat just can't take her place. I know she tries hard, but there is a strong bond between Kitty and myself, only a mother would know about that. So have a wonderful Christmas, everybody and your pets! Drink plenty of water and keep your coats, dry.
Bye' luv, Pico

"Bites man in Genitals" -- is that anywhere near Edina?
(We from closely west of that area like to poke ... er ... make fun of Minnepoopolis. It is amusing, and we don't do it to hurt. [They have dogs for that.] Besides which, many of our kinfolk have moved to "the cities" so it's sorta a family thing.)


Where did they aim the stun gun? Do they have to qualify at the target range every month with the stun gun? What's a qualifying score?

elle/mkj: you reminded me of the old joke, "What's (What's on second) the difference between a Roadie and a Groupie?"

?Twice shy? I'd bet he's shy a lot longer than twice.

How'd you guys get my Sam's Club card number?

Lily: r.e. "reassignment" Har! Twice. (Not shy.)

kat: U to Minnesota. Me to Kona. U live in warm(er) [in the winter] country. Me live (when I'm there) in cold country. Winter now. What's {What's on second} wrong with this picture?

MOTW: Cool song! tnx

something there (not their, or they're) reminded me of the old joke about Swedish Bells. Yingle, Yangle.

mkj: What grows? Oh. Gross. (Note the multiple "data" items.)

Lily: It's a training mannequin -- anatomically correct -- with various "trauma" for "practice" ... Would "trauma" be an acceptable euphemism for "data"?

"We've hit a brick wall." said Louis Ng.

Yeah, I've said that a time or two, when I hit a brick wall.
"NG! ... OUCH!"

Boy, that was pretty stoopid.

The "data" reference is on another thread.

But why should that matter? It still works. (The wordage, not the "data". They say the mind is the second thing to go. I forget what the first is.)

Oh man! You mean I wasn't even the second person to send this story to Dave? We (or is it Us?) evening blogglits just can't get ahead.

rhealist: Only one word? I'm shocked.


that WTF?! was not directed at you, or anyone else, Drizzt. There used to be spam directly before it, but now it's gone!

I am shocked...Really...

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