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December 11, 2004

ATTENTION, CERTAIN GUYS, BUT DEFINITELY NOBODY ASSOCIATED WITH THIS BLOG

Here is important medical news.

(Thanks to Debbie Henriksen)

Comments

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Yeah, definitely not!

Of all possible posts, I'm first with THIS one?!? By the way, did anyone have the courage to click on the "pictures" link? Eew...

Don't worry, kj, I AntiFirsted so you wouldn't have to worry. That's just the kind of Android I am.

But I also read the article (sort of). Now everyone's gonna ask when they can apply that to regular, um...dangly bits.

Of all possible posts, I'm second with THIS one?!? ... Eew...

Please disregard last message..should have hit Refresh.

Marvin P/A, I agree. Everyone will want to Supersize their attributes. I blame MacDonald's.

Introducing the exciting new procedure called phalloplasty. In just a single procedure, our experienced surgeons can take you from cocktail weenie to Ball Park frank. Call for more information today!"

OH, Isnt THAT cute! its a micro-d**k. awwwww. if they can do that surgery for the micros, well, i bet you guys will all be lining up claiming you have micro ...

In the immortal words of Elaine Benes..."I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

Is it me or do the other ladies in this blog think that there's not any benefit to this operation???..did you see the before and after pictures??...Come on!...both are pitifully small...not that I am demanding but please!...

cutting a flap of skin from the patient's forearm and shaping it

Gives a new meaning to, erm, well, can I say this here? "f|$ting"

It's good to know that the Doctors at the University College London are trying to do something about this genital defect in some men. It must be very disheartening and difficult to live with. Although, the length of the penis doesn't make the man. I've known some real 'jerks' that were well endowed, but they were and are still 'jerks'! The 'weres' are pushing up daiseys, now. And the 'ares' are ugly old men that no woman would look at twice, especially invite home.

kj - after you mentioned the pictures I looked - so it's your fault that I am now traumatized -
Eeeeewwwwwwww!

However, contrary to kat, I will say, and don't ask me how I know this - size matters
That is all.

Eleanor,
I know it matters to the man. And I know it matters to most women. I have had the pleasure of marrying the biggest 'jerks' in the Universe and their sexual accomplishments didn't compensate for the mental and physical abuse that I suffered from those %^&$%#*@.

Say, is that a forearm in your pants or are you just a micro-dick?

I hear you kat - I though was married to one of the smallest 'jerks' and suffered abuse as well -

I was really talking about fun sex, if you know what I mean -

Oh Jeff, you're (not your) such a prude! But you made me laugh out loud - is that LOL?

I see a new pick-up line coming (so to speak)

Guy in bar: See this large hole in my forearm - no, needs work - Guys???????

Corn,
One question: The article said that patients receive a urethra to enable them to urinate and an inflatable penile prosthesis. Where do they receive a urethra from if their's is to short to extend into the penile enlargement?

Barnum and Bailey might object!

Know any donors?

or donees?

kat/lily

or

lily/kat

(whichsomever order is proper)

You guys are TERRIBLE!

I LUV it!

L!O!L! (Twice, not shy.)

Well, then, would MACRO-PENIS bagnfarb?

Checked the pix.

Eewwgggh.

On a related-to-topic note (there's -- not theirs or they'res -- a switch for moi ownself): A friend of mine brought along a casual acquaintance on a hunting trip once.

On the second day, the other fella had a session of lying on the ground, screaming and writhing in pain, which event lasted for more than 20 minutes. (Not the four hours of advertising fame.)
Turns out he had a prosthesis (you can all guess where) and it became displaced somehow during the hunting activities, causing him MAJOR EXCRUCIATING PAIN.

I think I'll pass on this procedure.

(I mean, he wasn't even USING the prosthesis ... if you catch my drift ... what would happen if ...

nah,

forget I asked.)

Lily,

BAR SCENE:

Several attractive female humans are collected around a rather odd-looking male human.

He has the appearance of a "normal" (?) body-builder, but his forearms are surprisingly small in proportion to the rest of his physique.

One female whispers to another, "Whatever happened to his arms MUST have gone somewhere!"

...

I know. Needs work.

Women, if you ever have doubts about whether your man used to pack a micro-dick, look for the "inflate to 40 lbs" message, and remember, no matter how contradictory this may sound, the ball needle goes into his penis.

cutting a flap of skin from the patient's forearm and shaping it

Shoud the surgeon botch the procedure, there is always the danger that when an attractive woman passes by, he does a "Heil Hitler" type of salute.

That sounds pretty rough, but my reduction surgery was really painful.

'Is that a sign of subservience to an insane dictator in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Hey Megan, High Five!

or wait, I guess low five.
Slap me some skin.
Hey baby, wanna feel my forearm muscle?

well, and certainly not five.
But saying, Gimme a low one is just too obvious.

MeganBNL.
Would this make the Makinlovnotvar Reich salute See-High, BABY.

I checked the pics, and all I can say is HOLY $#!T!!!

I want you to know that I am not AT ALL offended by the heading of this post, Dave, because I know positively that you are not counting me, of all people, as a "certain guy," but just in case you're feeling sorry for making such a disgustingly inhuman, insensitive, insane remark, you lunatic senior citizen, you can buy me a new car for Christmas to make up for it, okay? I mean, you don't HAVE to, but I think it would be about fair. Lamborghini, please.

And as long as we have a mutual "no hard feelings" agreement going here, I will reciprocate: As a way of saying "thank you," and proving, once and for all, that the relationship we have forged over the years is based on nothing but our good old friends Mr. Honesty and Mr. Generosity and Mr. Ihavebiggerbicepsthanyou, I will send you ALL THE MONEY I FIND AT THE ROSE BOWL THIS YEAR, up to $20.

So what do you think? Do we have a deal?

Señor Doug,

I will take this opportunity to point out that you are not too likely to find any money at the Rose Parade this year, seeing as I'm not planning on attending.

I have butted in long enough, so that is all.

Nope, doesn't apply to me. Not at all. Uh uh. (heh heh heh. He said "micro-penis." heh heh heh.)
This all reminds me of something that I have always suspected about Bill Gates. The name of his company is MicroSoft. Could explain a lot about him. Don't you think?

BTW Doug, A Lamborghini, eh? That brings to mind the old Rita Rudner line, "Whenever I see a guy driving a red Ferarri, I want to call out to him, 'Sorry about your penis.'"

I would like to point out that "Microsoft" anagrams to "is comfort."

You can draw your own conclusion.

Hmmmm.... Nope. Never got the slightest bit of comfort from Microsoft. I suppose if you're (not your) Bill Gates, that would apply.

He has the appearance of a "normal" (?) body-builder, but his forearms are surprisingly small in proportion to the rest of his physique.

Personally, I'd be more worried about someone whose forearms are proportionally larger than the rest of his body...

Ha ha. "Bismuth" anagrams to "bum s---" -- well, you know. Oh, I'll just say it. That's right: "Bismuth" anagrams to "bum sith."

HA HA.

Corn,
One question: The article said that patients receive a urethra to enable them to urinate and an inflatable penile prosthesis. Where do they receive a urethra from if their's is to short to extend into the penile enlargement?

Kat,
I'd really rather not think about it.

Thank you very much,
Corn

I just wanted to note on the back of my driver's license that I would be willing to donate my ureatha to some poor slob after my demise, but I don't think that they will take female ones'

alanboss,

Mebbe that's why MACS RULE!!!

[Did anyone notice that the spammers attacked the Pumpkin Bombing site in the dark of night? Anyone care? Any solutions? (Will accept "lega" or "don't get caught" suggestions.)]

dang

That was s'posed to be "legal"

Uncle Omar,
Speaking of which, my wife took me out shopping for my Christmas present last night. (She won't shop for computer stuff by herself, and wisely so.) It's a secret. I can't have it until Christmas. But here are a few hints. 1.8Ghz, Dual Processor, G5. Woohoo!

So I clicked on the pictures, expecting some sort of medical explanation. The only explanation I encountered was the one I had to give my co-workers when they walked by my desk... These things should come with a warning!

Oh, dang the luck! I finally got blogged by Dave and it was on a weekend that I wasn't near my computer so I didn't see it until today.

Still, it's an honor.

(HINT for anyone hoping to get their (not there)link blogged by Dave: put "micro-penis" in the subject heading!)

alanboss

G5!

WOO ! HOO !

("Helping" them shop is the only way to get what you REALLY want/need. I managed this LT by getting mad at the PC at home [last Christmas] when it kept dumping my printer ... in a fit of pique I muttered [loudly enuf to be heard] "I'm tempted to just get a Mac laptop when I get back to California ..."

She said "Fine, go ahead, I don't care, just shut up!"

Voila! New iBook, G4 ...

Excellent move, UO! I do just enough work on the computer for my non-computer savy wife (she's a school teacher) that I can manage to justify most computer expenditures to her. Try doing THAT with a sports car!

alanboss,

Or any other of the many toys I have, which number seems to keep increasing.

Mostly it's (eventually) a LOUD QUESTION ...

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT AND HOW MUCH DID IT COST AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD IT ... ?

Ummmm, well ... I won the door prize !

Usually this conversation takes place within 45 minutes of the time I acquire said new toy/necessity.

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