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November 29, 2004

THE FRENCH

They can be so freaking French.

(Thanks to Jennifer Arko)

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Uno?

What's the world coming to? Next you're going to tell me that French Fries aren't French either.

Ok, triss!

French fries are potatos, Zaphod, not french.

Everbody knows that!

...costing almost $70 million, the bulk of which was provided by French companies...

HAHAHAHAHA!

"The Rain in Spain Falls Mainly On The Plain."

*but that's not a Spanish song.*

"Money, money, money" from Cabaret is not a German song, but "Cabaret" is a French word, although Cabaret was an American production.

*personally, I think the entire story is about one thing,-=---money*

I guess they'll designate it a "Freedom Film".

Sacrè Bleu! La chèvre de mon oncle est dans la bibliothèque!

My favorite French actor was that guy who played Inspector Clouseau...

Zut alors!! Quelle stupide!

My French friend informs me that the French do prepend the adjective "French" to fries, vanilla ice cream, kisses, or much of anything else.

in England the things we call "English muffins" are known simply of muffins.

Maybe if Warner Bros paid for the movie by itself instead of taking money from the state funds from France's National Centre for Cinematography, it would have been a french movie then.

Next they will be saying that Mickey Mouse and friends in Euro Disney are not Europeans!

This gives me a headache!

Clouseau's assistant, Joodoo Oui. I mean si. I mean oui.

Does that mean that if you're an American, in America, and you french kiss another American, that it really isn't a french kiss at all? What will we call it now? A Freedom kiss?

What's a French kiss, toadlikker?

Oh, I mean a Freedom kiss! What is it?

My favorite french actor is the guy that played Napoleon in "Bill & Teds Excellent Adventure".

My favorite French actors are the guys who were in the castle in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Please keep in mind that these are the same folks that built this big defensive line thinking the Germans would not find away around it. And they talk about Trojan Horses.....

"... come back and I will taunt you some more!"

Q. When is something that's French, NOT French?

A. When it ..."tells a French story, adapted from a French novel, filmed entirely in France, in French, with the participation of more than 2,000 French people, over thirty French actors and actresses and about 500 French technicians for 18 months..." Oh, and paid by France.

Man! THAT's gotta smart!

I'm printing it out and sending it to all of my friends that don't have a computer. Thanks, Zap!

The Canadians do this, too. I remember when a Brian Adams album was declared "not Canadian" even though he's Canadian.

Talk about a waste of government time/money.

I've also got to wonder, who brought this to the attention of the Administrative Court in the first place?

A. Germany
B. John Kerry
C. Vladimir Putin
D. Aliens

whine, wine, whine

There's something rotten in Denmark.
Remnents of the 'Kook-Ga-Bird'?
abbr. (---)

Zaphod: nice list! Don't try to use these unless you really know if they are appropriate, though, some of these are too vulgar in the wrong setting

(slang is tough to use correctly if you're not a native, better to just understand the expressions and use sparingly if at all . . .)

I'm not going to use this French(ha) dictionary, I'm going to hang it on the bathroom wall. (let others decide it's meaning or use.)

For those of you who want to know what Fed said: "Blue Sacrè! The goat of my uncle is in the library!" (Courtesy of my Babel Fish)

Also, it looks like a changing of The Fish is due...

Also:
"I'm French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?"
"What are you doing in England?"
"Mind your own business."

Actually, the "Bryan Adams is not Canadian" thing started because he was born to British parents in Kingston, Ontario, Canada, thereby having dual-citizenship... Canada regonizes dual-citizenship. I don't think the UK does (correct me if I'm off on this please). Anyway, I believe that Bryan Adams was living in England at the time his album was up for a Juno. Therefore, he would be a UK citizen at the time and not Canadian... if I am correct that the UK does not recognize dual-citizenship.

Tabarouette! C'est compliqué son affaire! ;o)

AHHHH, Look, a movie' made with American ties....WE SURRENDER!

Witchiecoo,are you Bryan Adam's Mom? Nobody else could possibly be so into him to go to the trouble of digging up all that info...

We are sinking in zee oui..

Wow, we made it through 30 comments before the first Surrender joke.

Bloggers, you have shown great restraint.

Also:

"The rain in spain falls mainly on the spaniards."

That is all.

Bryan Adams went to high school at my high school's rival school... school... school ;o)

He was about 5 years ahead of me and had released his first album... He was a big celebrity in our town. We all knew someone who knew him.

Maybe if we burn the French movie that's not French until it looks like French Toast, served with French fries, they would call it French, I think.

sean, I've a few Canadian friends that worship Brian Adams - I'm not saying they're sane....

And I believe the UK recognizes dual status. Heck, even the US does now....

See, Dave CAN be from Venus! (also)

Maybe we could use it to invade some country that's doing secret buisness with France and THEN they'd claim it was French?

... ya think?

Maybe Bryan Adams is trying to take ova the world by being a citizen of everywhere!

He must be from Venus!

I was butterin' my toast this mornin' and I must have scraped out a picture of the Virgin Barry on the toasted bread. It looks like Dave, but there's not much virgin to it, 'cept the Barry part.

"Danger Will Robinson!"

"I'll be here on this toast all day if anyone wants to reach me"

I vote for Brian Adam's as the one that ratted out Warner Bros.

E. Brian Adam

Canada?
Sauter du coq a l' ane. (translated; from Iraq to the North)

Does this mean that my favorite French actor,Pepe La Pew is not French?

Jump from the rooster to the donkey? Huh?

Oh I know! It's "Blurt out the first French idiom you can think of". Awesome! Let me try...

"Tu crois au petit Jésus Soviétique?"

But like all great heroes, he has a flaw: his natural, er, "perfume", or is it just the unshaved pits they are alluring to?

Freaking French wbagnfarb, no?

If Bryan Adams ratted on Warner Bros, then he must be French!

I am leary of any country that does not have at least one Internationally Recognized Beer.And by Internationally Recognized I mean one that I have seen advertised on an American basesball cap that was made in Taiwan.

I was crusing the planet Venus. Suddenly, my Escort X2-tgy Range Rover, "Slipe and Glide" ran over something that was bulging from the surface.
I turned on my laser eye-liner with x-ray vision and my turd-sound-around- vibrator with built in ear phones. To my astonishment, there in the pink dust of this most magnificent planet was the remnents of a "spy" ship! What! (I exclaimed.) And then another, "What!." A faint voice from the broken ship came back with a familiar phrase; "Chicken Squat! That's WHAT!" Well, you can imagine my amazement! The voice sounded a bit like a personage of another gender, one that wasn't welcome on Venus. A MALE person, to be exact, I think. Was it the famous doctor, Dr. Smith? Or the world famous French wine taster, Dr. Aux Plumes? Maybe, it was an emmassary from the Vat-again? (wanting his usual pay-oola) I realized that I would----------------

Mon dieu! This is the first case of "cinema non grata"! Jim

Sean, GREATEST definition I've EVER heard.

*standing ovation*

Hey kat....Guess what?

"Chicken Squat?"

elle - whew, Pepe and Penelope are favorites of Mrs. Brat and me. Thanks for pointing out that they couldn't possible BE French,.

Anyone know enough French to suggest some highly unlikely anatomical maneuvers (wait, that's French)......Arrrrgh....

Sound of Brat shoes running into the distance to get away from the horror of it all.

(evil Brat grin).

Yeah....How'd you know?

Yeah....How'd you know?

Chicken Squat too obvious for a nfarb.

We know alot about Chicken Squat here in AR.

Wait a minute....Obvious Chicken Squat wbagnfarb.

Somebody get me Quincy Jones, or Phil Spector.

No, better leave Phil out of this.

hey BigD, I noticed there's a "Your computer clock may be wrong" notification at the top of the article. Do you think we should send this in to Dave so he can fix the blog clock?

Great Danes aren't Danish. The Germans developed the breed, and the FRENCH named it, over 100 years ago. So, neener, France.

Morty,
I guess you know the "Great Chicken King." (and his court jester,Tricky Bill)

signed,
Henny Penny

Arriver comme un cheveu sur la soupe ...
But wasn't Alan Arkin Inspecter Clossieu?? Last I checked he's about as French as French Fries, French Bread and French Toast combined....unless there were multiple actors?
Seeing as the movie was made before my conception I wouldn't know...

Touché, Bangi-babe!

A good conversation starter in France, "So, I guess you guys really bit the big one in World War II, huh?"

A good conversation starter in France, "So, I guess you guys really bit the big one in World War II, huh?"

A good conversation starter in France, "So, I guess you guys really bit the big one in World War II, huh?"

A good conversation starter in France, "So, I guess you guys really bit the big one in World War II, huh?"

Sorry I posted twice. I didn't see it had gone through the first time.
D'oh!

biblio: I remember this one from the early nineties:

"They've decided on a new capital for the re-united Germany."

"Really? Where?"


"Paris."

(I told that to some of my French friends then but none of them got it . . .)

(BTW, for the .photo.fr thing above, "suite" means "next". So you go, "suite", "suite", "suite" . . . (etc., rhymes with "sweet"))

kat- I'm afraid you have me at a loss. Which CHICKEN KING are you talking about?

MKJ, I don't think you can count 'suite' as rhyming with 'sweet,' as they are both pronounced exactly the same. They are homonyms (not homina-homina-hominas).
Oh, and homina-homina-homina! (not homonym) Thanks for the link.

does this all mean that french toast isnt french either. and what about this 'french' kissing?

I won't see it till Friday. We are living in another time zone here. (It's called the Kerrville Daily Times, but there is nothing timely about it, unless you consider articles all about goats and deers, timely.

Morty,
"Chicken of the Sea" (or Tie's one on, and I'm not talking about a "booze binge")

Dave,
Is it true that you are planning on becoming a "Soccer Coach?" I'm looking forward to the recent column which I won't see for another week.

You've been given clearance on Venus. We checked your passport and there is some question about gender, so we tossed a coin, it came up heads, you won! Your visa is for 3 months which is the limit for earth travelers, especially those in question regarding gender. Please have a new passport photo taken because the one that is on your passport was eaten last night by some little Venucian mice! signed kat

is it a regional thing to pronounce 'suite' like an article of clothing? shortly after arriving in West-By-God-Virginia ,i heard a furniture store advertising a wonderful living room 'suit'. so what i'm asking is, is it pretentious to pronounce 'suite' correctly even though it's misleading to mispronounce it, or something of that nature?

kat - can't you go on line to the Miami Herald and pick it up that way?

when in Rome...

insomniac

Awwwrightthereboy....atease. Weeuns taint no differnt from them thar English. They plum refuse to benounce words kerectly....iffin they kin do it, so kin us rednecks.

Jess since you never heared of a livin room suit, don make it worng.

Saying suite like an article of clothing is a southern thing. Ask about thier Frigadaire and they'll know exactly what you mean eve if it is a Kenmore.

gives insomniac's chain another yank just for good measure.....

Just a funnin with ya.

MKJ (n' stuff), terrific photography!! I guess the french can 2 things very well: cook and take pix of ramparts. Sweet-homina-homina-homina.

*puts on "I'm with stupid" t-shirt*

According to Merriam-Webster Online:
Main Entry: suit
Pronunciation: 'süt
Definition 4 : SUITE 2 -- used chiefly of armor, sails, and counters in games

Main Entry: suite
Pronunciation: 'swEt, 2d is also 'süt
2d : a set of matched furniture

in other words, it's in common enough usage to make the dictionary.

Brat, Ah caint b'leeve how purty you tawlk. Yer sexier'n a toasted cheez sammich.

And I can't imagine how we've gone on this long about Frenchy stuff without someone saying:

Tout le Bulge!

A new living room suit would look fabulous in my suite.

*tumbleweeds roll by*

*cue western ghost-town music*

Where'd everybody go? You scared off all the varmints, Cheryl!

I'll just sit over here and toot my bugle until they get back.

*toot*

This is not French, but it is kind of Thanksgiving related: In Spanish, the phrase that literally means "to pluck a turkey" is an idiom for "have sex in front of a window."

thank you to all the Mr./Ms. Language Persons who set me straight on suits/suites.
Spanish butchers must've gotten slapped a lot, in the days before 'turkeys' came already 'plucked'.

sandy: this is why I buy them already plucked . . .

insom: hey, we simul-posted something about "already plucked", how often does that happen?

Well,
French or not, I bet it's a great movie. I bought that director's earlier efforts, "Delicatessen" and "City of Lost Children" and they were amazing and "Amelie" is one of the best films I've ever seen (if you don't mind sub-titles)....

Audrey Tatou is like a dark-haired, french version of Meg Ryan. The kind of woman you can take home to mother but is probably a crazed sex machine when you get her home alone....

Another bonus, I'd never understand what the hell she was saying... How cool is that?

A bird lover went to the pet store to buy his male parrot a female companion because the bird was so depressed and wouldn't talk. He paid the owner $50.00. When the man returned home, he put a sheet over the cage after putting the young female parrot in the cage with "lonely boy." In a few minutes, he heard the loudest "squeaking and squaking" imaginable! He uncovered the cage and found that his bird had the young female down in the bottom of the cage and was pulling all of her feathers out. He asked the bird, "Why did you do that to her?" His bird replied, "For 50 dollars, I want fo see her naked."

Lab Spec - I appreciate the resolution of the suit-suite thing. My sister-in-law, transplanted from the Great Northeast has been laughing at the furniture ads ever since she got here to Atlanta, (where everybody is from the northeast).

I will be happy to explain about the 2nd pronunciation. Where I come from a suite of furniture was also pronounced the same as a suit of clothes, while a group of hotel rooms was pronounced "sweet".

But the the SIL also pronounces "aunt" as if it were spelled "awnt". I have always said it like "ant". And I have lived places where it was pronounced Aint, as in "Andy, do you know if Aint Bea is fryin' chikin?"

Are you ok, kat?

(I agree with the amazon.com reviewer of the above film that this is indeed "Nathalie Baye's film, not Audrey Tautou's", but Nathalie Baye makes it worth the rental anyway)

Fed -- eeeewwwwwwww.

That's my final answer.

Kerrville? Hey kat, you're just down the road! I stopped and ate at a great Tex-Mex place there once, but I can't remember it's name.

"akin to bestiality" - ya think?????

and what was the semen to be used for - inquiring minds want to know...

Fed - that's got to look good on the old resume...

"Televised manual stimulation of a boar to produce semen"

What reasonable employer could overlook THAT?

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