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November 22, 2004

POSSIBLE USE FOR JUNK FAXES

Fold them into cranes and drop them on Thailand.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Comments

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better a paper crane than an iron monkey

*first*

Note to wysiwyg: Were you planning on going to Thailand next week?

The Microsoft Jet engine isn't working.... typical.

anybody else get this:
The page cannot be displayed
There is a problem with the page you are trying to reach and it cannot be displayed.
Please try the following:
Open the www.bday.net home page, and then look for links to the information you want.
Click the Refresh button, or try again later.
Click Search to look for information on the Internet.
You can also see a list of related sites.
HTTP 500 - Internal server error
Internet Explorer

?

Oh, ok, I see what Leetie meant now, when I clicked on www.bday.net...yeah, damn microsoft and all that...

What would it mean if we dropped condom balloons in Iraq?

Here's the article if anyone else is having problems viewing it:

Paper cranes ‘useless’
Dow Jones
Thai Muslim leaders on Friday dismissed as “useless” a government plan to drop millions of Japanese-style folded paper birds over the violence-hit south as a symbolic appeal for peace.

Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra has urged Thailand’s 63 million people to make the paper cranes using origami, the Japanese art of paper-folding.

The birds will be dropped from a military plane on December 5, the birthday of the country’s much-revered HRH King Bhumibol Adulyadej.

More than 540 people have been slain since January in attacks blamed on the revival of a decades-old Islamic separatist insurgency in mainly Buddhist Thailand’s only Muslim-majority provinces – Pattani, Narathiwat and Yala – in the far south near Malaysia.

On Thursday, the king warned that the country risked falling “into ruin” unless the army and police can end the bloodshed. Last month, he urged the government to take a “gentle approach” to curbing the insurgency.

Abdulraman Abdulsamad, chairman of the Islamic Council of Narathiwat, called the paper bird project “nonsense, useless and a waste of time”.

“The people in Narathiwat do not understand what Prime Minister Thaksin is thinking about,” he said. “The paper folding will not help the injured people who are still in the hospital. It will not help the feelings of the families who lost their sons. It will only hurt their feelings more. This is not our culture, it is not our tradition.”

“The paper birds will only bring trash to their roofs,” he said.

Origami cranes are a Japanese symbol of peace and healing, usually associated with memorials for the US World War II atomic bombings in Japan.

From the annals of failed peace missions, Nov. 2004

"If one more co#$-su#$ing origami crane lands on my lawn, I swear to Baba-Majooky that I will cut the throats of 99 virgins!"

Instead of origami, maybe they should try English Garden Embroidery for Manky Old Biddies?

What's really amazing, all of the cranes were sent via fax.

Here at the Whispering Farts Retirement Villas, we have origami classes, so maybe we can help. Excuse me, I'm late for my Intermediate Mumbling class.

Wait a second, this might be the problem:

Origami cranes are a Japanese symbol of peace and healing

In Thailand, however, origami cranes are considered a personal invitation from God to go and kill those who do not know your secret handshake.

xmnr, I understand there were a number of women who signed up for that class; were very disappointed to find out it was a class in "origami" and later that day made appointments with their eye doctors.

Ewwwwwww - Chris, you have sweaty hands. I don't wanna learn the secret handshake.

And that’s the joke, son! Joke, that is!

Ewwwwwww - Chris, you have sweaty hands. I don't wanna learn the secret handshake.

wow, how'd I do that, post between a double post.

Hmmm....never let a machine know you're in a hurry.

Now, brat, that takes pure talent!! A perfect 10 from the Olympic judges (except the French judge).

Polly you had the best question: I would think they would get more peace out of dropping millions of exploading sheep.

Carnack the Magnificent: (holding envelope to his head) Sis. Boom. Bah.

Ed: Sis. Boom. Bah.

Carnack: (opens envelope and reads) Describe the sound of an exploding sheep.

That ain't sweat, Brat.

Mind ya, you're still wise not to touch 'em.

Awwwww Drat (says Brat), I should know not to cross swords with the master.

** slinks away with face buried in notepad, busily scribbling down possible responses, knowing that by the time he thinks of one, the point will be moot **

Claire Martin again What is up with that??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!
While I find thae article amusing, IMHO I'vd sent in funnier stuff -
*no further comment, goes in corner and sulks*

F**ked up bold again - AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
*goes back to corner and adds pouting to sulking*

Bangi, honestly?

No.

Why doesn't the Premier just tell the "village people" that they are really from Allluh, that He is really just sending little "luv" note to them?

elle? what do you mean it doesn't help?

If grabbing people in the crotch doesn't help, well, then I'm all out of help here, people.

Bangi - I'll see if I can scrounge you up a verse. Now c'mere and shake on it (in every sense).

Speaking of oragami cranes and Thai separatists, do you think I could get away with wearing a black suit (not a tuxedo suit with satin lapels) with 4-in-hand black satin tie for New Year's Eve or would I look like and undertaker?

Note, the planned event is black tie optional. I see elle back on line and I'm hoping the metrosexual bf might alos have some thoughts.

Actually, I'm not even sure if it is black tie optional. It's at the Kennedy Center, so I assume there will be at least some tuxedos present.

Boo - FWIW -
A few years ago I went with a date to a "black tie optional" party - he wore a black suit - 95% of the men wore tuxes - after the party he went home and never left his house again!!
However I will add he was neurotic in some other ways as well -

Eleanor,

See what I mean about Claire Martin?....I just give up!...

Bangi_Shakes it Up

uh well, blog all night blog all day
don't let nothin' get in the way
bangi knows how to keep the beat
don't you worry she'll bring the heat
shake it up
shake it up, (in every sense)
shake it up
shake it up

well blog all night get too hot
bangi_sizzles ready or not
blog all night with anyone
don't let nobody stop your fun
shake it up, in every sense
shake it up, in every sense
shake it up, in every sense
shake it up

that's right I said blog all night (go go go)
and blog all night (give us a show)
go all night (get real hot)
well, shake it up now, all you've got, woo

shake
oo shake

uh well blog all night in underwear
make the night cats stop and stare
blog all night go to work
don't get caught browsin' by the office jerk
just shake it up, oo - oo
shake it up, oo yeah
shake it up, that's right
shake it up

uh well blog all night (go go go)
cue cam lights (give us a show)
blog all night (bangi_hot)
shake it up, all you've got, woo

shake it up, with whipped cream
now you know you're gonna make us scream
and blog all night, can't be beat
bangi's here and you can feel the heat
shake it up, oo-oo
(shake it up) oo yeah
shake it up, oo-oo
(shake it up) oh yeah
(shake it up)
shake it up
shake it up baby
(shake it up)
shake it up, oo-oo
(shake it up)
shake it up
shake it up baby
(shake it up)
shake it up, oo-oo
shake it up
hhhm
(shake it up)
yeah, yeah
shake it up, oo-oo
(shake it up)
shake it up
(shake it up)
shake it up
shake it baby
(shake it up)
shake it uh oo-oo
shake it up
(in every sense)

Ooh, glitter.

*reluctant to add another song parody after c-bol*
To the tune of 'I whistle a happy tune' from 'The King and I'(Thailand, get it?)

When provinces are in flames
And your Moslems are upset,
Just give them a million cranes
And no one will ever know
You're at war!

Now if the paper cranes had printed on them messages of support from Russell Crowe, then
you'd have something !

I kinda think the oragami cranes could have merit, but instead of letting them float gently to the ground, wouldn't it be a hoot if we taped ball-bearings to them instead?! That would be a peace gesture not soon forgotten, I assure it.

Orasalami ?

A peace offering of pork would reallly make a big hit! Mr. Fishair.

"And this little baby right here delivers 4.9 kilotons of baby mangling shrapnel, and is equipped with BunkerBuster© depth charges sufficient to level a small country. It can be remote controlled from a yacht 6,000 miles away. We call it The Peacemaker."

Oragami, orasalami, orapuddinpie
Although none were really intended to fly
I'll take two PeaceMakers with mayo on rye
Hey, I bet it beats a sharp stick in the eye.

*Hands over keyboard, before any more damage can be done*

*phewt*

Too Late!

"And this little baby right here delivers....." reminds me of a line from a movie preview.

** mangled line **

No wonder it smells so bad, this kid just dumped half his body weight into this diaper.

Maybe we could just fly over the "rebels" the world over and cover them with baby poo.

Just saying.

Pork and Poo'
And little Roo.
Pooh planned his party well.
He invited Owl,
And a Sunday gal,
Then everyone went looking
For the Loo!
Let Owl fly over,
Oh! Yes, let's do.
He can take the pork,
And then carry the poo,
To make peace with the Otters, too.

wysiwyg,

www.roopooco.com

Sly: No, no trip planned - Australians have been generally staying away from Asia in droves since we discovered there are terrorists there.

For the rest: to explain Sly's quip, I e-mailed her a clipping from a new rewards scheme being launched by the lunatic department I'm currently contracted to. The following is verbatum from the announcement (although I have deleted the identifying terms):

"Friday also marked the launch of our new (*IT Area*) Rewards and Recognition Scheme. There are two parts of this scheme: a formal recognition program and an informal one.

The informal recognition program is a scheme that enables all of us to thank those who make a significant contribution to help us in our work. This can be in the form of a post card and/or an origami crane. The idea of the crane comes from the story of a thousand paper cranes. You can read about this at one of the four Rewards stations that are being set up in (*the buildings where we work*). Above each station there will be a large gold paper crane. On each station is a clip board for registering your "thank you", a stack of thank you cards, some origami paper and instructions for using the informal rewards system (instructions for folding an origami crane are on the reverse side). The idea is that we register a thousand "thank you"s by the end of the financial year - and then we can celebrate with a big happy hour.

Look for the big gold cranes hanging from the ceiling sometime tomorrow."

Unfortunately, they stuck one of the crane stations right next to my desk. Turns out folding a crane is a 26-stepo process, and takes about 10 minutes. My brain immediately snapped, and I started a campaign of competing posters advertising, amongst other things:

- an offer whereby people could do my work for me in return for a pre-folded crane
- a crane folding service, with my kids as slave labour, for those people who are crane folding "challenged"
- a call for investors in a "Crane-o-Matic" crane folding machine machine to cash in on the obviously looming market for paper cranes
- a scam "Email-a-Crane" service you could subscribe to to send a photo of a crane to your lucky "significant contributor"

I stalled when the floor was flooded on Melbourne Cup Day and I had to work from home for a week, but I did mean to get around to promoting a water-proof crane....

Time to promote Dave's Farewell Card some more. With apologies to those that have already contributed:

Dave’s Weekly Column Tribute and Farewell Card

Have YOU signed the card yet?

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