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November 26, 2004

PICKLED-KITTEN-THROWING-WOMAN UPDATE

She wants her pickled snakes back.

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Uh...what about the kittens?

A spiritual connection to the snakes? Exactly what religion is she? And while we're on the topic - why were the kittens in formaldehyde but the snakes pickled?

"police saw some cannabis plants"

Sounds like Susan Hoskyn was a little pickled herself.

So let me get this straight - they found cannabis plants and decided to seize the snakes not the weed? Just how well trained are these cops?

The link does not work for me for some reason, Dave!

I tried, and tried, but it does not work! I think my computer has a bug again, but we ran out of the spray to kill it!

The story of my life!

These cops must be related to the ones that went into the male strip club to see if the owner was violating the law against serving beer in a strip club. They stayed through-out the act except for the last ten minutes and then arrested the so called male strippers who had only striped down to their speedos. When the cops brought the men in to the court,the judge asked them why they had arrested the men. They told him that the men didn't have any pasties on which was against the law in strip joints! The judge wanted to know, "When in the world do men have to wear "pasties?" duh?

You won't believe this but Nutkins was doing his acrobatic act again on the high wires outside of our house and 'blink-blink" the computer went off. I tried unsuccessfully to re-boot to no avail. Then we noticed that the clocks had all stopped as well as the refrigerator. I know just how frustrating that poor woman must feel about her snakes. It was the sentiment attached to the gift, not the gift, itself. I think that she felt the police had violated her very being by their heartless act. I've been in similar circumstances in the past. I finally learned to quit throwing my "snakes" around.

I never seen pickled snakes before, don't think I would eat it!

Wish this link would work for me! Maybe I'll wait till I get home, and post again later!

No, the snakes weren't pickled, but their brains were.

Dave,
I'm still trying to get the smell out of our house because of the fish! Reminds me of the time that I told my grandsons that one day kids would be saying,"let's go to Grandmother's for dinner on Thanksgiving. She always serves Pizza-Supreme! That same Christmas, my daughter forgot to buy the turkey. Christmas Day arrived. We were snow-bound in Minnesota and the stores were closed. I asked the boys what they wanted for dinner. They both shouted in unison,"Pizza-Supreme" We didn't have anything for dessert, so I made Pineapple-buttermilk Sher~ber, a new French concoction,(From the Mother-of-All Neccessity Cookbook)

Rockchild, gotcher pickled kittens right here. I'd surely take MY small children to her house for Halloween...

Snake lady hopes for their quick return
25 November 2004
By ANDREW MCALLEY

A Hamilton woman who threw pickled kittens at a police officer, after her pickled snakes were confiscated, is hopeful the snakes will be returned next week.


Susan Hoskyn's two preserved snakes were confiscated after they were found in her Boundary Rd home on Sunday.

Police were called to the property after Ms Hoskyn was injured during a domestic argument.

Ms Hoskyn said police saw some cannabis plants and searched the property. They called in Agriculture and Forestry Ministry staff to take away the pickled snakes she had owned for more than five years.

When Ms Hoskyn found the snakes gone she went to the Hamilton police station and threw two kittens preserved in formaldehyde at an officer behind the counter. The public counter was closed over Sunday and Monday morning so it could be cleaned.

Ms Hoskyn was arrested for disorderly behaviour and is due to appear in the Hamilton District Court on December 6.

Ms Hoskyn said yesterday she had been told by Maf staff that if she wrote a letter outlining how she came into possession of the snakes she might have them back within a week. "The snakes were bought back by a returned serviceman after the war. I use the snakes and the kittens, still-born from our cat, in Halloween displays."

Ms Hoskyn said she had a spiritual connection with snakes.

Actually, I think her spiritual connection was related to the cannabis.... On that stuff you'll feel a connection to anything... Squirrels, pickled snakes, utility poles...

When Moses raised up the "brazen serpent" in the wilderness to protect the children of Israel from being "snake bitten," He told the children, "Let's call Martha on our cell phones, for she can tell us how to pickle them!"

Pickled snake!? Well....err.... haven't heard IT called that before, but Heck! I'd want it back too!

One eye'd trouser trout, yep, same thing.

I think everyone mentioned in this story must be pickled - the snakes, the kittens, the woman, the cops...

That ain't zellienoble of youse! Naughty! Naughty! Go stand in the corner,--no on your feet, not the other.

Hm, a pickled snake, pickled kitty, and cannabis..............

*checks innuendo bag*

Nope, got nuthin'.

The cops went there originally because she was hurt in a domestic dispute, right? Whoever it was that beat her up had better be a light sleeper because this woman is extremely scary and I, personally, would be afraid of ending up in her Halloween display.

Is something missing in this article? Are pickled snakes illegal? Were these endangered species snakes? Why in the world would the police confiscate the snakes and demand a written essay on where you got them? Meanwhile, they leave behind the disputees and the cannabis which is definitely a controlled substance in the USA but may be legal in NZ. If the police wanted some pickled snakes of their own, they should just type it in on eBay.

I just wonder if anyone has ever thrown a jar of pickled Ford Escorts at the Ford sect?

ahllivar! ahllivar! vat is dat!

"Off Topic"

I've been lurking your blog for a long time now, Dave, but I have to ask you this question.

Inquiring minds would like to know, are you Rockchild?

Just kinda hard for me to believe some idiot kid would be hanging around here, or maybe he's just a big fan of yours, like me, and I'm the idiot!

After some discussion here with highly educated people, we came to a usefull conclusion.

The reason most things don't get pickled is, they don't fit in the jar.

Feel free to name this theory after me.

kj, I don't eat pickled kittens either, just plain pickles!

Another Dave, Dave Barry is not me, as I know!

The guy selling the belt buckle appears to have all the charm of a brick wrapped in a cheesecloth.

Note to Joshkr: couple of good pickup lines for you in there tho....

Joshkr doesn't need any help! Or do you, joshkr??
Is there anything I can help you with, hmmmm?
*smiles enchantingly*

Both cannabis and snakes are illegal in New Zealand! We don't even keep them in our zoos. (Cannabis *or* snakes.)
For the record, no-one actually beat her up, she fell over in the course of an argument and hurt her head and her partner called the ambulance. Her explanation of the 'spiritual connection' is that she was born in the Chinese Year of the Snake.
If this be so, I oughtta get me a pickled horse!

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y T O B A N G I!

How did the "pot" plants get to NZ if they are so careful about this in customs?

Yes, Happy Birthday, Bangi!!!
My daughter found a cute little coin purse over in Australia shaped like a little heart while she was shopping for souvenirs last year. It was the softest leather that she had ever felt. She asked the clerk just exactly what it was made from and he said, "RooRoo." Steph said that she quickly dropped the "RooRoo", turned around, and flew out of the store.

Is that a true story, kat? And if so, given our knowledge of roo, roo what do you think it means? How old is your daughter? Could that be a clue?

Steph is a flight attendant and flies international.
She was over there last year on vacation.

Eleanor...I always need more pickup lines...and help ;)

Thanks Wysiwyg!

Tina...You've always encouraged me quite a bit!

Happy Birthday Bangi-Grrrrrrl!

M___erF___er...

*loading bodazhang into catapult*

Shotguns ready!

PULL!

I don't know how cannabis gets into New Zealand, but we sure do have a lot of it growing here. If they would only legalise it, we could be the Netherlands of the South Seas (appropriate as we're already named after a Dutch province) and the depressed economy of the Northland region would suddenly boom.

Maybe Johnny Appleseed has a cousin, Jimmy cannibus-seed who goes all over the world....
*wakes up from dream - bummer*

The fact that I cannot spell cannabis proves that I have never used it -
*Officer, I don't know what they're (not their) talking about*

Anyone else vote for pickling bodazhang? Maybe with sulfuric acid?

Eleanor, maybe the fact that you cannot spell cannibis proves that you are using it right now. *passes joint to Eleanor*

Cannibis would have been introduced into New Zealand a long time ago, before they were so careful about things in customs. Probably before there were airports as well.

This is a PERFECT time to say that I found a $20 bill at the Rose Parade one time.

I found a $20 bill at the Rose Parade one time.

Wow! Pickled trouser snakes, and pickled pussy(cats). She must have some kind of a pickled orgy for Halloween.

But first, a little roo roo.

Leetie,

The "jig" is up!

Eleanor,
Several years ago, a friend of mine had a birthday. Her daughter who went to the University of AR, brought her a beautiful potted plant for her birthday. She put it out on her front terrace on a pedestal for the "world" to view. Another friend came by and stopped at the house to inquire "why" she had displayed to the world a marijuana (hemp) plant.
Happy Birthday, Bangi!

Doug,

Have you tried Arbonne?

I must say... seeing a Roo-Roo scrotum pouch hanging on a guy's car mirror really does turn me on! (note the sarcasim)(also note.. I can't spell...)

kat - when my daughter was in high school she had a marijuana plant in a pot on a window sill - directly below the window outside the house was the gas and electric meter! She was living in the downstairs apartment in our house -
luckily I spotted it (having seen pictures of mj in books!) before anyone was arrested!

Good morning, to all from sunny southern California (foggy and cold but we never let that get in the way of a good motto -)

delete comma after good morning, please

Back at you from sunny South Texas (the Hill Country) It really is sunny here today. But we have had our share of rain and floods. The high in the winter is about 65. It is probably going to reach 72 or 73 today. I luv Texas' winters! (so do the squirrels and cardinals) The cardinals live in the red top bushes in my back yard and eat fermented red berries all winter. They are on one long "boozen" party. GNFARB-"Boozen Birds"

On, not in.

Kinky Friedman? The Texas author?

Joshkr,
Maybe you can "stink" bodazzhang out of the blog.
I'll turn up the oven on the salmon and then you turn on the fan. If that doesn't work I have a big "water blaster" that shoots 300 yards! "bod" is just one big "chicken fart!"

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