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November 23, 2004

MIRACLE VIRGIN GRILLED-CHEESE SANDWICH UPDATE

It has been purchased for $28,000 and, after what we are sure will be a tasteful sandwich-transfer ceremony in Las Vegas, it will be embarking upon a world tour.

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I would be first in line to see it, but I've already eaten.

Peaceful1: You were first in this line anyway...

She sold it because she remembered after the first bite that she was lactose intolerant. This casino will make a ton of cash from this...which is just wrong.

It better not come to Indiana, or I'll have to marry it, it's the law.

*i'm thinking i could make grilled-cheese sandwiches with various notable's images on them rather easily*
I think later today I will "discover" a grilled cheese sandwich with Dave Barry's face on it. How much will you give me?

"Let's get lunch, I'm starved!"
"Ok."
"I'll have the St. Francis' Meat Lovers Hoagie."
"That'll be eight bucks."
"And I'll have the Miracle Virgin Grilled Cheese Sandwich, with a side of frustrated boyfriend chips."
"That'll be $28,000 bucks."
"Wow! What if I don't have the chips?"

greeeedygreeedy. and unbelievably stupid, all the way around. for certain = you cannot make this stuff up.

I know God works in mysterious ways, but idiots have him beat, hands down.

Oops! I meant "Him" of course. (dodges lightning bolt)

Well, at least this world tour has a foreseeable end.
Unlike one very ward-robed and wigged woman we all know.

Now I'm really mad that I ate those mashed potatoes that formed an image of Elvis. I bet I could have gotten at least $30,000 from some incredibly stupid casino owners somewhere. Maybe The Donald would have bought them to help shore up his crumbling empire.

*sculpts Elvis head on plate*

This means something.

I wonder what Golden Palace Online Casinos would pay for a SPAM sandwich containing the image of Gabe Kaplan?

*meanwhile, in heaven*

"Mom, we need to talk."
"Yes J?"
"It's about your appearances."
"Yes?"
"Well, I mean, the sky over the Mojave desert, for example, that was a bit cruel, wasn't it? Several people were bitten by scorpions and snakes, died of exposure, and all so that they could snap a picture of a cloud and go home to certain ridicule."
"But..."
"And in that window at Milton Hospital, in Massachusetts... you made a poor undocumented worker fall to his maiming."
"But I healed him."
"That's not the point. People are just milling about trees in Hartford Connecticut claiming to see you in the bark."
"Oh they've built some lovely shrines there, and about a block away you can get the best pretzels."
"But this latest appearance, mother, it's over the top. I mean, a grilled cheese sandwich? It's been sold for $28,000 dollars!"
"I know! And I goofed that one! I wasn't even ready and sort of was half turning - well, to tell you the truth even I can't see my likeness in that sandwich."
"Look, no more."
"But I'm bored."
"Now, you've got to stay put."
"What about the super bowl halftime?"
"Cancel"
"Booger."

Yet another sign of the impending Apocalypse.

Once again, thanks, ebaY!

My computer was once hijacked by Golden Palace Spam. Glad to see they spent so much money on half of a partially-eaten 10-year-old pasteurized cheeze product sandwich.

Judi, Dave, somebody, can you do something about spam that devouring the archives? It's eating up all our posts!

*boo hoo*
*sniff*

It troubles me.

Mahatma, sing me a happy song.

"Pass the cheese, please!"
*Oh, don't be coy!*
*The Golden Bells ring out!
The Holy Smoke will shout,*
"Carcinogens, deploy!"

by kat, grade 3 AKS Elem. Sch.

I'm inspired. I'll either spend the holidays trying to perfect my bleu cheese cheese cake or Dave Barry cheese sandwiches. I knew there would one day be a use for that little kitchen blow torch thing.

The Cheese Wheel Puncture Gang was caught thanks to a police sketch artists' rendering of their (not there) likeness using grilled cheese sandwiches.

Bidding on the sketches will begin on eBay beginning at noon tomorrow.

Crash — maybe the casino could arrange with that "very ward-robed and wigged woman we all know" to have the sandwich and its (not it's) creator accompany her on her never-ending Farewell Tour.

In exchange, the VWRAWWWAK would receive an open-ended engagement at the casino for her "Farewell to the Farewell Tour" Show which (by the grace of the grilled-cheese sandwich) would begin immediately after the Brisbane, Australia performance of the Farewell Tour.

* Did I really say "open-ended"? *

Did anyone else notice that Grilled Cheese Mary is either smoking a cigarette, or, er... umm... saying we are #1 using a particular appendage?

Didn't CCR write a song about a Grilled Cheese Mary? :)

Peddling the image of the Virgin Mary in an old grilled cheese sandwich would make a GREAT subplot for my next book.

Update:

It's not Mary in the bark of the trees in Hartford, CT ... it's Martha Stewart.

I know. I grew up there.

That is all.

Carry on.

How about the children's edition? Something like the 1st grade reader; "Dick and Jane Cut Cheese in their Mother's Kitchen While Spot Licks the Crumbs that Fall Under the Table?"

That's just wrong in so many levels!!!

Martha Stewart is the first martyr in the "Church of the Blessed Condiment".

Kubla Khan, too? MKJ

to be sean or unsean:

Swiss cheese on white.

hmmm. religious cold cuts...
Mount-of-Olives loaf ?
Beef Salaami (for Moslems)?
a cheese product in the shape of the Ten Commandments ? Deck O' Log (too obscure)
or a religious restaurant selling hot dogs guaranteeing change from your dollar..Franks n' Cents

or .. for your pizza.. Poperroni !
(someone called the Church Police !, o.k. vicar-sergeant ,I'll go quietly.)

insomniac- the Deck O' Log! *still laughing* Don't do that, you caught me off gaurd and I think I ruined the keyboard.

C-bol, this thread is screaming for a "Cross-eyed Mary" parody. *grin*

insomniac: (too obscure)[?]
aalmost . . .

And the little girl said to the young man who had called on her sister; "My sister, Mary can't come right now. She is constipated (consecrating uh, concentrating) on macaronni!" (uh, marriage) (I can't spell worth a d-mn)

AndyDan - I'm honored! (Although I wonder if you must be scrounging a bit to want to use anything I said.)

qetzal (no "u"), aka Ross Durland, 1959-

P.S. I'd rather be known for inventing urinal pennies.

as the mom of a kid with a severe milk allergy, i am personally offended by all this. Virgin Mary Sandwich of Death had better not come to my town, or there's gonna be trouble.

::goes off in a tiff to cancel Golden Palace membership::

I think it looks like a cross between Susan Sarandon and Drew Barrymore. Or maybe I'm just crazy. Or both.

Make that a grilled cheese-n-booger sammich, I'll gladly chip in a quarter!!

Now I'm sorry that Minou ate that booger that looked like Churchill. Wonder what it could have been worth?

Now I'm sorry that Minou ate that booger that looked like Churchill. Wonder what it could have been worth?

I see an opportunity for someone to invent and market a new tech gadget: a toaster that toasts detailed silk-screened patterns of religious figures and celebrities onto the bread (and Barney and the Wiggles for the kids, of course). Equipped with a wireless NIC, you can download new toast patterns to it through the toaster company's website. The possibilities are endless. Now you can bite Barry Manilow's head off!

Ohhhh! Corn! Shhhhh!

Never mention this idea in public again.

I've just had one of those moments like the parents of the kid that said "why doesn't zinc sub-block come in different colours".

I'll be sure to mention your name in the brochure when it comes to market. Sorry about the royalties though...

re. MD.
She keeps coming back like a song.
A song that is always so wrong.
Her voice is so low,
She completely stops the show.
But she WAS the toast of the town.

(When are you coming back the next time Marlena?)
Cheezits!

Am I the only person who noticed that right next to the mother of god, to the right of her cheek, is the clear image of an otter (I don't think it's a beaver, the head is too sleek.) with a gleaming eye? I wonder what God was trying to say with that.

One of my high school students said, "If a guy had that sandwich, he wouldn't put it in a drawer for ten years. He'd say, 'Wow, isn't that something!' and eat it."

Hey, wysiwyg, I have no clue how to invent a computerized networkable silk-screening toaster oven anyway, so if you do, go for it, I won't mind.

Just serve your Elvis sandwich on a Corningware plate, and I'll be happy.

Sure, and you can even keep the plate!

I know this goes without saying, but Silkscreened Cheese Sandwich WBAGNFARB.

sad, so sad with all this wasteful spam!

sad, so sad with all this wasteful spam!

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