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November 09, 2004


Maybe these people need to know about this and this.


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Mosquito-killing malathion wbagnfarb?

I know Im not first with the fricking lobster one.

When will we get over ourselves and outlaw all forms of inedible life, such as lobsters?

"Annual lobster health symposium," eh? Mr. Barry, I think we need a special on-site report next year!

Aren't lobsters the cockroaches of the sea? I wouldn't eat one if you paid me. Yeeechh

That dude who ate 19 lobsters just ingested a whole lot of malathion.

I just want to strangle the person who said that the malathion didn't affect the lobsters because they live at the bottom. Ever hear of the food chain?


I think the Iron Chef sucks moose butt for tearing off the lobsters arm while it was still alive.

How would Mr. Chef McHeartless like it if we (the collective blog) tore off his arm and then made a dish out of it?


Something about these stories really pinches a nerve.

And Elle, I bet that guy was just trying to claw his way to the top.


... Here vee haff de boiling vater ... und here vee haff de loobster ...

Exactly who attends an Annual lobster health symposium? How long would this event be? We Canadians just eat the lobster (although we kill them before ripping off their claws), we don't run diagnostics on it.

Once, when I was staying at an allegedly ritzy resort hotel, I was served lobster for the main course of a meal at a conference. Now, I probably would have liked the lobster, had it been served in the normal manner. You know, just the tail, splayed open like a potato, with some dipping sauce on the side. Did this place serve it like that?


No, see, they are a ritzy establishment. With "artists" working as the chefs. They don't just cook meals, they prepare "dishes". So they took all of the edible components of the shellfish, removed all of the crustacean's protective exoskeleton, and reassembled the meat parts back into the shape of a lobster. Then they took the actual head and placed it - get this - where the head would normally go. Then they served it to me...with the eyes looking directly at me.

I mentioned before that my meat has to not look like the actual animal that it came from. Needless to say, I really had a hard time with this. I haven't been able to eat lobster since then.

I can't imagine trying to put down 19 of them.

I actually love lobster, but what gets me (I can get past the shell, the cockroach similarity and happily decapitate the thing) is when people actually eat ...(ahem... it's lunch here so if you have a sensitive stomach don't read this) the red egg sack or the green, grossness in the head. THAT is sick.

I believe the vernacular is 'lobster liquor'.

Now I'm hungry for lobster and am facing a tuna salad sandwich.


COMPLETELY OFF-TOPIC (as if I need to justify that.)

So, I'm home with TCMB today and watching Fox news. Apparently there are some hostages in the Mexican consulate in LA. So, they've got a helicopter view of the streets affected as far as traffic is concerned. What street do they zoom in and focus on?


Now, my question, which one of our fellow bloglits is the chopper pilot in LA, hmmm?

Any B-52 fans out there?

We were at a party
Iron Chef fell in the pool
Something reached out and grabbed him
It was a rock lobster

We were on the blog
Everybody had margaritas
Somebody mentioned the clock
And we started to rock
We didn't start to rock
We started to rock lobster

Motion in the ocean
My "air" hose ain't broke
It's no trouble
Give me bubble
And I'll help you ma'am
With your pretty clam

Down, down

Underneath the waves
Bodies wavin'
Shaven or Unshaven
Wavin's all fun
Everyone's a wailin'
No one's yet a failin'

Red snappers snappin'
Happy bloggers clappin'
Muscles flexin'
Ain't perplexin'

Down, down

Let's rock!

Coconut bikinis
Girls of the blog
Everybody's rockin'
Everybody's shockin'
Postin' on the blog
Havin' fun
Drinkin' beers
Eatin' cheetohs by the tun

Put on your Penguin Thong
You won't be wearin' it too long
Pass the butt..butt... butter

Here comes a new day
Same as the old day
Everybody make a wish
Somebody fill the dish
Damn this stuff is so de-lish
In comes judi
Watch out for Dave Barry!
Last chance for you to bail

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm... forbidden lobsterr...

*gargly drool noises*

I just like how they have a picture of a lobster with the story, so that we'll know what a lobster looks like.

I'm surprised they didn't show a lobster with one of its claws missing ...

rat bastahds ...

(I'll get over this any minute now ... really I will)

Jeff - which leads to the inescapable conclusion that Guru Nanak wbagnfa solo sitar player.

Jeff - Pachyderm Mauling wbagnfarb, too.

You're getting too far ahead - I'm a couple of posts behind.

"What are we gonna do with these 50,000 undersized chickens we have every year?"

"Feed the world's hungry?"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAH! Good one. No really, what should we do?"

"Ok fine. How about we build a crocodile farm and feed the small chickens to the crocs, you'll love watching that, I'm sure. Then we can kill the crocs and sell their hides for leather. Maybe we can even push a couple orphans into the croc pit when we're bored."

"That's genius! I love it. Make it happen!"

"I was being sarcastic."

"Well, now you can experience some irony. Chop chop!"

I'm with Punky on this. I can't past the fact that this guy pulled the arms off a live lobster. People would have went nuts if he'd pulled the wings off a live chicken but just because a lobster looks like a bug this is not a big deal? "It's supposed to be dead; don't worry," Morimoto joked in response to some audience members' audible discomfort. Some joke.

Wonder what would have happened if Iron Chef Pinchy had been on stage, ripped an arm off a living Morimoto, and joked "He's supposed to be dead; don't worry" in response to lobster audience members' audible discomfort ...

Yeah, boiling 'em alive is much more humane!

cbol ... the humane way to kill a lobster is by stabing it in the neck (yes, they have a neck) ... word on the street is that it kills the little guys instantly.

Wish I'd have visited your street earlier, Punky. Some bastard told me the humane way to kill a lobster was to let it pinch your nipples until it got so tired it died. Granted, this will work, but last time I let a lobster pinch your nipples you never gave it back!

"but last time I let a lobster pinch your nipples you never gave it back!"

my nipples, or the lobster?

My dangling participles

The Dangling Participles wbagnfarb :)

Punky: I think you're really gonna like this band, c-bol.

C-bol: I hope so.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for The Dangling Participles!

C-bol: Hey! Those are mine!

Punky: Shut up and enjoy the music, ya nutless panzy.

C-bol: You shut up, lobster nipples! Say, do you think our friendship is turning destructive?

Punky: Not especially. Here, have some more tequila.

Hi Elle!

I just wanted to say that, both as a greeting, and as a way to say "hell" like a deep southerner.

luke, ahrobsta craws!!

What the Fruck is ahrobsta craw?

And my name's not Luke. It's Booger.


Thinkin' Nutless Panzy and the Lobster Nipples wbagnfarg

Hey Mr. DJ!

For me, the shrimp offer basically the same taste without the $900 per pound. Also, my very favorite are the shrimp-like vultures, which, if I'm not mistaken, aren't even seafood.

Maine Lobsters are distantly related to spiders.
Florida Lobsters (actually crawfish) are distantly related to cockroaches.

Just thought I would clear that up.

Maine Lobster Isn't that cockroach over there dancing with Cher your cousin?

Florida Lobster Distant cousin. Anyways, isn't that tarantula in Judi's salad your cousin?

Maine Lobster YES! Charlotte! Watch out, she's gonna EAT you!

Elle - "immature young adults" are my favoritest kind.

cbol ... enjoying "immature young adults" will get you 20 years in the state pen.

On the bright side ... Tequila will help those years pass all the more quickly ... and I've got plenty of that. Will they let you have conjugal visits? The Iron Chef wants to know :)

Judge And so, while I personally shout out a Boo-Ya to you, I nevertheless sentence you to 20 years in the state pen.

C-bol But she's like, 24!

Judge Still, you ain't. Look, you get out early for good behavior.

C-bolJudge Oh yes! Of course, they're not so much 'visits' since it's your cellmate, and most people don't refer to it as "conjugal" so much as "no rules rugby".

That is so cool, a bold ate my line. I've never seen that.

dj -

I hear they're good served with a side of stir fried locusts and a nice chianti!

I refuse to eat lobster b/c they boil them alive. Maybe they should boil that guy alive, or perhaps tear off his limbs one at a time.
Anyone familiar with Stephen King's monster lobsters in TDT series?

Supposedly the Lobstrosities were good eatin'. And THEY certainly didn't have any reluctance to eat the HUMANS alive..... maybe we should take a cue from them and just take huge heapin mouthfuls of lobster? That is, if I even ATE lobster. All seafood grosses me out.

hey you guys are funny!!
i don't eat anything i'm afraid of........and lobsters scare me!!!
that is all.

hehe.............lobster nipples.......

Lobsters have nipples?

I really need to scroll up and see what I've missed.

Sly: If you are one of those people that both visualise what they read, and get sympathy pains for the writer, gouge out your eyes first. But I hear that Punky still keeps the lobster in a tank at home for those special occasions....

wysiwyg ... I keep my lobster in my tub.

who wants to know?

I used to not eat anything with a mother ...

Then I realized that I hated vegetables ....

That pretty much left me with sour patch kids dry cereal and paste as my only food options ...

So I got over it.

Rita wrote: "Plus, she really hates plastic shoes."

Amen to that.

I dunno ... I used to really have a Jelly Shoe fetish when I was little. They were plastic.

Just ... yeah I did too ... but then I stepped into the 90's and tossed my jelly shoes along with my rubber bracelets and hyper-color t-shirt.

Plus jelly shoes don't work all that well with my adult wardrobe ... (lace, leather and tassles)

I never had a hyper-color tee. *sniff* I had a deprived childhood.

I had to get rid of my jellies when my feet got too big. Apparenly I'm part clydesdale on my fater's side, and they don't make clydesdale sized jellies. It was the saddest moment of my life.

lace, leather, and tassles huh? So you must be a lawyer...

Just ... if I was a lawyer, that list would have included stilettos, a guillotine and a whip.

Punky -

Dayum... lawyers get guillotines where you come from??? None of the lawyers here have them. But then again, it IS legal aid and we can't afford all the nifty contraptions that big city lawyers can.

Oh well. I'll settle for a whip. Wait... I already have one! yipee!!

Plus jelly shoes don't work all that well with my adult wardrobe ...

LOL, Punky. Great visual image!

Rita: Sorry for the late response, but I was asleep.

So let me get this straight: You eat things you don't like, and/or which have caused you harm in the garden and/or which aren't cute.

How are you with snails?

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