CHRISTMAS IS COMING

And no gift says "Peace On Earth" like this gift.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Comments

[Dr. Dog]

If, by some stroke of dumd luck, this post post happens to be first, I won't say anything about it being first.

Thank you and have a nice day.

[queensbee]

uno - but so what? maybe we should offer the bomber to mr. spock.

[MOTW]

... or we could load it with conventional armaments such as giant spit wads from Farewell Spit and launch them when Cher steps on-stage...

[Brainy Jello]

"The plane weighs 40 tonnes and has a wingspan of 30 metres, it also points out: "As is, where is. Buyer collects!"

(If only there was a way to get an airplane from one city to another!!)

[Zaphod]

I see my help is needed once again today:

40 tonnes = 14109347 ounces
30 metres = 0.01864 miles
Kinda keeps things in perspective, huh.

Glad to be of service to this blog!

[noni]

You could sell it to Santa Claus to use as "back-up" when the reindeers retire.

[slyeyes]

I'm shocked and dismayed that MKJ didn't get to this first.

[Claire Martin]

I told Dave he was the bomb, but he didn't get it.

[MOTW]

He probably saw it, but chose to defer to Claire, being the gentleman that MKJ is.

[me]

The more interesting article at the bottom of the page is "Kids watch teacher brawl with mum."

[Lairbo]

Claire
You should have told him that he was Da Bomb. He'd get that because Dave is, if nothing else, all, like, down wit' that.

[Tom]

Just for the record, Blackpool is in north west England, on the west coast even, not the east. So I don't know how much to believe the rest of the story...

[«LabSpecimen»]

*** OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT ***
This is the FIRST Official "Smith". a.k.a. MOAT #thirfteempf.

*** END ANNOUNCEMENT ***

[KDF]

*is slightly confused, yet feeling festive*

Smitharita, anyone?

[Kibby F5™]

Is this the "MOAT called Smith"?

[«LabSpecimen»]

Everybody remain calm. There are always issues with TypeTard when the time changes.

[Kibby F5™]

*retrieves his last 2 great posts*

Which came first, the guns or the stats?

Stats - in 1720, 95% surveyed said they didn't have a gun.

Cross bows? Pitchforks? Long pointie things?
Yes.

Guns?
No.

Posted by: Kibby F5™ | 01:16 PM on October 30, 2006

Savings Bond? Saving Bond?

Savings Account? Saving Account?

Savings Private Ryan? Saving Private Ryan?

SockO'Nickles? SockO'Nickle?

d@mn! can't decides

Posted by: Kibby F5™ | 02:06 PM on October 30, 2006

*goes off for pivo:30 after a MOATing Hop, Skip & Jump event*

[KDF]

*has no issues; has only joy*

*and maybe also nickels*

[«LabSpecimen»]

I think it's Socks o' nickel.

[Kafaleni]

Well, this one took 15 seconds to load (instead of the usual 3 or 4) as opposed to the Academy Moat which took 40 seconds the last time and 4.5 minutes the previous attempt, and wouldn't load the comments box, so I like the idea of a Smith. I've officially bookmarked this as The Christmas Smith, which is completely different from Christmas Jones

Can the Smith & Wesson be our official drink while we're here?

*crosses fingers and waits for this to post*

[wolfie]

YAY!!!!
*zips in**
Temporarily working at least.
Shall I send e-mails? ;)
Posted by: Eleanor | 01:02 PM on October 30, 2006

She picked this one too *sticks tongue out at Lab* I was just the messenger.
Posted by: wolfie | 01:13 PM on October 30, 2006

Not to here, El. To the MOAT you picked.
Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | 02:05 PM on October 30, 2006

Lab! Stop jumping into the future to point out El picked this moat. She picked the other one too and I have the email to prove it.

[Kafaleni]

Oooh! It posts!

Lab, if that time change is responsible, why were there no major problems yesterday? Was Pypetard lulling us into a false sense of security?

[«LabSpecimen»]

Kaf: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

[Eleanor]

*wonders why she's still posting on the old Moat*

Kaf, whatever you said ^there, even the part I didn't understand, I agree completely. :)

[DDi]

SMITTY!

I like it.

[Eleanor]

e-mails have been sent!

*collapses*

[DDi]

*rubs eyes*

When I went to post, Eleanors post was already there. Then I posted, and my post dropped in before hers.

Spooky.

[DDi]

ACK! Eleanor!?!

What's going on???

*sobs*

[Annie Where-but-here]

Is this the party to whom I am speaking?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Even while napping, El is ahead of her time.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Oh, whoa....I was trying to post to the MB and I ended up here. Looks like I went back in time by about 2 years. Which is before I met all of you. So....nice to meet you...again...I predict this will give me a headache very soon. But it was nice meeting you...again. Somehow you all look a bit younger.

[Kafaleni]

Lab - so noted.

Laynie - thank you. It's great to have blind followers.
Would you like to help me with a little plan I've been hatching?

[Kafaleni]

Laynie's current comment shows 2.24pm as a timestamp. Presuming EST is being used, she's more than 20 minutes ahead of herself. Maybe she's a time-travelling alien..

*posts to see what will happen*

[Kafaleni]

ooh..it slips our posts in ahead of Laynie's. This is kinda cool. I wish I didn't have to go to work and I could see what happens at 2:24 - do we get to post after Laynie, or does her post stay where it is and posts accumulate behind it?

[slyeyes]

*in a fog about the Smith thing.*

[slyeyes]

Whoa!! I totally leaped ahead in time!

[slyeyes]

TIME WARP TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Meanie the Blue]

Hi, again, folks, it's good to be forward with you.

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

*goes into shadows to nap*

Waaay too stressful for me today.

Is this the MOAT I should e-mail people, or would that be Smithys?

[Eleanor]

zzzzzzzzzzzzz - OH, is everyone here?

I've sent e-mails....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

[Meanie the Blue]

*Tosses comment into Smith to see where it lands*

[Marie in Kourou]

Nice new (psychedelic time-warping) digs.

I'm off to study. Cheers.

[slyeyes]

.....and in some states, it's also "Driver License" (no "s").

[KDF]

OK, now I have issues.

[DDi]

*puts on tie dyed tshirt*
*sits cross legged with a hookah in hand*

Duuude... this is totally rad.

[slyeyes]

OK, what happens now?

[DDi]

*passes the hookah to Sly*

[Susan]

*peers out of the shadows*

Me? Confused? Of course.

[Eleanor]

Where is everyone?

Is it a blog holiday and no one told me?

[Susan]

Since this is our new home, for now...I'll post today's playlist here.

Monday 10-30-06 All Request Lunch Hour
News
“Raspberry Beret” Prince
------
“Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” Rolling Stones
“Our House” Madness
------
“Into The Night” Benny Mardones
“Soul Man” Blues Brothers
------
“Coming Up” Paul McCartney
“Footloose” Kenny Loggins
------
“Domino” Van Morrison
“Baby I Need Your Lovin’” Four Tops
------
“All The Young Dudes” Mott the Hoople
“Private Eyes” Hall and Oates
------
“Walk On The Wild Side” Lou Reed
“(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman” Aretha Franklin
“Save the Last Dance For Me” Drifters
“Needles and Pins” Searchers

Any preliminary thoughts for tomorrow? It being Halloween and all...

Just email them to me...any address.

Well.

Any of my email addresses that is.

If you start emailing them to random email addresses I'm less likely to get them.

Sheesh. I only have four...

[Eleanor]

*waves hi to Susan*

*feels better now*

*zips out to research Halloween songs*

Are there any?

[Susan]

El, of course there are.

Spooky...Frankenstein...Thriller...Ghostbusters...Witchy Woman...I can't remember what all I played last year.

I'll have to find the playlist...on disc somewhere...I think.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Susan - I shoulda tuned in to you this morning - them's some feisty fun music. I woulda got more done and had more fun.

[Wurm42]

Good Halloween songs:

Thriller

The Time Warp

The Monster Mash

Ghostbusters

The Twilight Zone

Purple People Eater

I Put A Spell On You

The Addams Family Theme

Werewolves of London

Pet Semetary (Ramones)

The Time Warp...again

Hi everybody, I'm back.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Hi, Wurm! Good tunes. I used to be in a band called the Ghosters. Very fun, creepy weird music. We were Gothic when Gothic wasn't cool. Lots of gigs in West Hollywood. Good, ghouly times.

[KDF]

Eleanor, this just in from my daughters, although I don't think this song gets much airtime:

There once was a witch
Believe it if you can
She tapped on the window and she ran, ran, ran
She ran helter skelter with her toes in the air
Cornstalks flying from the witches hair

"Swish," went the broom
"Meow," went the cat
"Plop," went the hop-toad sitting on her hat
"Weeee," chuckled I, what fun, what fun
Halloween night when the witches run.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

[Marie in Kourou]

*waves at Wurm* Hi! Where the heck have you been?

[Wurm42]

Oops..Purple People Eater link should go to the REAL purple monster.

And do take a look at the many funny Strongbad halloween cartoons if you can watch flash animation at your machine.

[Mad Scientist Weasel]

*waves hi*

*disapears under lab bench*

[Eleanor]

I like it Kathy. :)

[Jeff Meyerson]

Sheesh, I wish you people would make up my mind already.

Well, that was amazingly easy. Remember the early days of VCRs? This time all I did was unplug and disconnect the dead one, replug and connect the new one, set the clock, and viola!

So to speak. And it was incredibly light, easy to carry home the mile from the store.

Wurm! It's about time you're (not yore) back.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Overheard on the MOAT?:

Girl on cell: You don't play with my tits enough! You just go right to it, and avoid the girls! I need some titty action!
Suit on cell, listening: I gotta go, I have to try to pick this girl up. I've never had a better come-on line in my life!

--Duane Reade, Columbus Ave

[BigD®]

WKTTG - I always thought it was "Saving Ryan's Privates"

[Jeff Meyerson]

Susan: you want this version, I think.

[Marie in Kourou]

"Saving Ryan's Privates" must be a hit at proctologist conventions.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Purple People Eater

[wolfie]

*jumps up and down waving madly*

Hiya Wurm and welcome back!!

El ~ click me ;-)

[Susan]

*clicks wolfie*

*pounces on wurm*

Jeff, that was the version I was gonna play...

[DDi]

WOW. I come back to ketchup and OMG am I glad I disconnected from my VPN to work before I did.

Everything was fine, and then I got to Jeff's 7:16 post and my eyes about popped outta my head. I know we all make mention of "certain topics", etc... but could we possibly stick to a vague reference instead of actually using the words? I would be really upset if the werk puter police blocked this blog due to the content. Anyone else? Bueller? /end my .02

[slyeyes]

WURM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome back!

Someone said something earlier today on a one of the Moats that I wanted to respond to....but (1) I can't remember what it was and (b), I can't remember which Moat.....so, never mind and carry on.

heh heh, I said "carry on".

*sigh*

I agree, that's lame.

we don't need that stuff on the moat

[slyeyes]

I'm kind of surprised that it got past the robot police. Cas!no and ch@tting doesn't make it through. My main concern is that if anyone googled it, they'd find us.

[slyeyes]

Oh, El. What's the status of the wild fire out your way?

[Eleanor]

The fire that killed the 4 firefighters is fully contained.

But this is a new one.

As Mad said, this is how you know it's fall in su.so.ca. :(

[Kafaleni]

Hi!

What about The Witch Doctor by Sha-Na-Na?
Susan, you don't need to play our song until another day.. it can wait. It won't be Halloween on Wed or Thurs or whenever...

WURMY!! Welcome back! Set and stay awhile, y'hear?

[Kafaleni]

Dang it.. I'm finally getting home near midnight and STILL no one's up.

[Kibby F5™]

Wurm's Back!

*wonders if Jeff's cell guy got to the girls*

*can only imagine what the pickup line was*

RAMPARTS! RAMPART!?

Saving Ryan's Privates *SNORK!*

...actually sounds like the true meaning of the movie anyhow...

[slyeyes]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!

I get to wear jeans to work today for Halloween Casual Day. This is a "reward" for contributions to United Cerebral Palsy and we can wear Halloween-themed t-shirts, sweatshirts, etc. I've got a long-sleeved orange t-shirt with a black cat applique.

So, is anyone dressing up to hand out candy and/or take little ones trick or treating? Kibby, does the Czech Republic do anything for Halloween?

[slyeyes]

Trick or Treat Oprah Style.

I didn't watch the show and don't know if the members of the audience knew they were going to be getting anything that day. BUT, if I were there for her "favorite things" show and ended up getting $1,000 to give to someone else, I think I would feel a little let down.

HOWEVER --- I think I read that for her show about the car give away, the audience members were pre-selected for people who needed cars. So, was yesterday's audience preselected for people with a philantrhopic bent?

I was reading MSNBC's message board and someone posted how he thought it was crappy of her and that he'd throw away the debit card as soon as he left the studio rather than give the money to someone else. A response to him was that he missed the idea of the gift; it wasn't the money itself, but the good feeling of helping others.

I think it will be interesting to see how the money is used.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Di, sorry about that. Just copying from OINY. Didn't mean to offend the censors or you or anyone. Next time I'll self-censor it.

Susan, one more?

What about: Bat Out of Hell?

We are going to see Meat on Thursday night. His new CD is being released today. (On the other hand, if you want something truly demonic, the new Barry M is being released today as well.)

This will be the 4th Halloween in a row with milder than normal temps, near 70 today (they say). I still need to find out what (if anything) is wrong with my car and how much it will cost to fix.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Neo, maybe you need to move to Long Island.

[Wurm42]

Where have I been? Short version: Surviving a truly hellish last semester at grad school, moving halfway down the East Coast, finding a job, working a hodgepodge of temporary jobs after the job I thought I had gotten failed to materialize, finally starting that first job, getting in over my head, learning to swim, moving again (locally this time), dealing (happily) with a relationship that went from casual long-distance to serious local, spending X time and energy dealing with a medical problem and about 4X fighting the insurance company. Wishing I could move to Fourecks instead. Recently, catching my breath and trying to catch up with friends.

So I'm now back in the Washington D.C. area, doing festival and special events planning for the arts program at a university. Still seeing Long-Distance Woman (LDW) who is now Local-Distance Woman. Getting used to the fact that my life is going all right, even well. I'm not used to this, but getting there.

I have internet access at home and at my desk at work now, but be warned, there are days when I never sit down at that desk.

[Kibby F5™]

Wurm's got a RL!

*hides under desk*

Sly, they do the usual stuff as we would in the US. Though they don't get that caught up in the adult costumes though.

Most expat places in town have big parties. Supposedly there's one going on today. I'm hoping to see F2.3 on video though. She's going as a witch because "witches are scarier than princesses".

... ah, to be with her for trick or treating....

[DDi]

*waves to Wurm*

Good to see you round these ramparts again! Er, parts? *thinks* BOTH! ;)

Sly if I didn't have a client meeting today, I would have definitely dressed up. Most of our partners are out of the office at a convention so it would have been perfect! Oh well. Maybe I will put it on tonight to pass out treats to the little ones.

[wolfie]

*kicks a pumpkin across the moat*

They didnt let us wear costumes today so they dont get any treats.

*sets down both cakes for the Moaties to enjoy*

[Marie in Kourou]

That's very good news, Wurmy. You've been missed.

Last year some adorable little Créole children showed at our door. On All Souls'. Without costumes. I gave them candy, anyway.

It's disappointing not to hear the traditional "trick or treeeeaaaat!", though. There's no French equivalent, so they just stand there with expectant faces.

[Marie in Kourou]

This is something I just don't understand. If they're protesting the fact that they cannot find work, then why are they setting buses on fire? These are, after all, the same buses that take those of them who do work to and from their workplaces. Why are they sabotaging themselves?

[Marie in Kourou]

Bwaaahahahaaa! (Sorry, Di.)

[Jeff Meyerson]

Nice "rap" (so to speak).

Now let's see if I've got this right. The Stones cancelled Friday's concert in Atlantic City because Mick couldn't sing due to laryngitis. They are rescheduling or you can get a refund. A fan is mad because she was "stuck" in Atlantic City and had to stay at her $300 a night hotel because it was too late to cancel.

So: $575 for the tickets (which she can still use or get refunded), $300 for the hotel - obviously not someone hurting for money.

So she is suing the Stones for...wait for it... $51 MILLION.

[slyeyes]

Re-Telling Alert from Nostalgic Mom

When Meghan was about 3 and Jenni was 7, they went as a clown and princess, respectively. I applied Meghan's clown make-up, put the big red nose on her and then turned her so she could at herself in the mirror.

The screaming! The terror! I scared my poor little girl. I quickly washed off her make-up, then while she watched, re-applied it. When I was finished, she hiccupped, solemnly nodded and said "much better."

Sometime the next week, I was putting her to bed, leaned over, kissed her and said "Good night, little princess." Very seriously, she said, "I is not the pincess, I is the cwown. Jenni's the pincess."

After that, she started collecting clowns, but put them all away when she left for college, declaring them to be "kid's stuff."

I think I'm going to go dig out the clowns tonight. I miss my little cwown, and my little pincess, too.

/end nostalgic mom stuff

[Jeff Meyerson]

Awwww, sweet.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Sympathy and A Skillful Segue is the Mark of a Successful Hobo

Columbia student: So I was dealing with all these peptide bonds and it was getting annoyingly complicated.
Hobo: Yo, I hate it when that happens! Got a quarter?

--Columbia University

[Jeff Meyerson]

Hipster girl: I think he wanted to know if you were bisexual.
Hipster boy: Well, I prefer the term hetero-flexible.

--Starbucks, Astor Place

[slyeyes]

Where you all live, do you require your trick or treaters to tella joke before handing out treats? That's the tradition where I live.

Following that tradition, I offer this:

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I
don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a
chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well," the cabbie says, "I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. Number one, you have to be single and number two, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"Okay," the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy with a passionate kiss. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"

"Forgive me for I have sinned. I lied and I must confess: I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's okay. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party!

OK, where's my treat?

[Eleanor]

For sly.

sly, here's another treat for you!

[Eleanor]

For sly.

sly, here's another treat for you!

[Eleanor]

That's how good your joke was!

Double the fun!

[Wurm42]

Awww...I was just walking back to my building and saw all the little tykes from the university day care center parading over to trick-or-treat through the offices in the admin building. Very cute. Sly, I saw one clown and several princesses. The parade also included some playing cards, power rangers, pirates, and one Spongebob.

[DDi]

That's ADORABLE Sly!!! *wipes away tears*
Your girls are very lucky to have such a sweet mom.

[Wurm42]

Did I mention that the day care center is moving to a new building soon and is lobbying to get more money for the renovation? And yes, that costume parade *will* go through the finance office. They're sly, those four year-olds.