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October 01, 2004
WHY MAYBE WE NEED TO BAN THE INTERNET
This is scary.
(Thanks to the evil geniuses at Something Awful)
Posted by Dave on October 1, 2004 at 08:26 AM in Unfit for the Office Unless You Work for the Osbournes | Permalink
Comments
Have to go put my face (with beard) on sexy woman's body.......
Posted by: Higgy | 08:31 AM on October 1, 2004
First (although stupid work internet blocker wouldn't let me see the page).
Posted by: Miriam | 08:32 AM on October 1, 2004
I wish my office didn't block everything...
Posted by: jessica | 08:32 AM on October 1, 2004
Nothing to see here...move along.
Posted by: officer slowlayne | 08:34 AM on October 1, 2004
Wow! Porno! Thanks Dave!
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | 08:43 AM on October 1, 2004
For those of you who can't see it, it's a website offering to put anyone's face on someone else's body - I'm pretty sure it's Miriam, but I can't be 100% sure...
Posted by: Dave B(ickle) | 08:46 AM on October 1, 2004
I am apparently not the only one who can't get to it. That's probably a good thing.
Posted by: SchadeBoy | 08:49 AM on October 1, 2004
We're back! Weeee.
Posted by: Federal Duck | 08:54 AM on October 1, 2004
re: Something Awful:
Don't kids say the darnedest things?
Posted by: triller | 08:56 AM on October 1, 2004
I don't see how this can be a positive part of a healthy relationship, you know? They gotta be pretty much catoring to stalkers.
"Honey, let me take a quick picture of you for my wallet."
"Ok sounds fun! Let me pose here on the couch!"
"Doesn't really matter, I just need a headshot."
"What do you mean it doesn't matter?"
"I'm gonna have YOUR head pasted on a MUCH sexier body. Sweet huh?"
*gets out chainsaw*
"That's a great idea. I think I'll put YOUR head somewhere, too!"
Posted by: Christobol | 09:02 AM on October 1, 2004
Did anyone else get far enough into the website (www.enchantingpics.com) to read this?
"If you order ten sexy poses at a time, we will give you an extra love spell free. You'll get eleven love spells for the price of ten."
WOW! Just think! As if it wasn't insulting enough to have a photo of my girl/boyfriend's face plastered on someone's else's body, I can have FREE love spells as well! Now, where the heck did I leave my credit card?!
(On a side note, out of curiosity, I did a WHOIS search on the domain to see if this was an offshore ripoff thingy or not. The registrant lives in South Dakota. The web host's address shows as a mail drop in - here's a SHOCKER! - boiler room capital of the world, Fort Lauderdale.)
Posted by: Trystan Shout | 09:03 AM on October 1, 2004
They like to be referred to as "goons" and not evil geniuses. I wouldn't want to irritate them, otherwise they might do one of their Photoshop Phridays about Dave. Dave's scary enough on his own. Could you imagine what they'd do to him? In case you haven't seen it yet, it's located in the upper right corner just below the hentai ad...
Posted by: CADGeek | 09:06 AM on October 1, 2004
Dave B(ickle) - wouldn't you like to know.
Posted by: Miriam | 09:15 AM on October 1, 2004
I guess the carpet doesn't match the drapes...
Posted by: Mike Weasel | 09:29 AM on October 1, 2004
HEY! I know that brunette!
Dreamt about her the other night.
.... good times .....
Posted by: kibby F5 | 09:35 AM on October 1, 2004
hmm. dubya's face on his mother's body. there's an appealing thought. now, everybody go wash THAT image out of your head!!
Posted by: queensbee | 09:38 AM on October 1, 2004
queensbee! That's just plain mean!
Posted by: kibby F5 | 09:39 AM on October 1, 2004
Dave B: I thought it was Tina after the debate last night, but that's just me. Glad I have a "home office" so porn is cool here.
queensbee, I just ate! Please.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | 09:42 AM on October 1, 2004
Dear Enchantingpics.com,
It is with deep regret that I am forced to write this letter informing you that I will be suing you for 100 Kajillion dollars.
As a longtime and previously very satisfied customer, it pains me to sick the lawfirm of Satan, Dracula, and Manilow LLC, Esq. on you, but you have left me with no choice.
As you are well aware, I submitted eleven hundred photos of my neighbor's wife to you for transposition into many tasteful and yet lustily suggestive poses, largely along the theme of A Day Trip to the Farm, as a special surprise for my neighbor, Bill.
I will be unable to present this surprise to Bill, however, as, even after three attempts to get it right, picture #1043 in the series continues to show the donkey's tail inappropriately obstructing the field mouse on her left nipple. How you can you think it is sexy when you can't even SEE the mouse is beyond me. Is this your idea of a joke? Well ha ha, my lawyers will cook your testicles in open court!
As if that weren't enough, I received my 110 love spells, and cast every one of them on Anna Kournikova, and yet her restraining order forbidding me to enter any part of the Eastern Hemisphere remains.
I look forward to poking your entrails.
Sincerely,
Holden Magroin
Posted by: Christobol | 09:50 AM on October 1, 2004
Darn.
LOL, Christobol.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | 10:02 AM on October 1, 2004
what it is is a lousy job of photoshopping.
it's not "put some woman's head on another erotic body and make it look real".
sheesh
Posted by: sj | 10:09 AM on October 1, 2004
"Skeet shooting perfectly captures the horror of life as a duck."
There was porn and I missed it? goshdarn websense and everything it represents...
Posted by: philintexas | 10:28 AM on October 1, 2004
Miriam - well, yeah! I thought that went without saying. Come on, have a heart. Ya gotta have heart....
Posted by: Dave B(ickle) | 10:30 AM on October 1, 2004
This site gets more twisted the further in you get. Did anyone look at the Daisy Duke pictures? They photoshopped the head of a ? 14-year old ? onto Catherine Bach's body. Of course, the 'original' photo, with Catherine Bach's plastic alien face actually looks worse.
Posted by: rhealist | 10:38 AM on October 1, 2004
Do you have stairs in your house?
Posted by: blatch | 01:05 PM on October 1, 2004
The Internet makes you stupid.
Posted by: SA Goon | 01:20 PM on October 1, 2004
I may be a goon, but I for one like being called an evil genius. *hmph*
Posted by: VindiKatif | 01:27 PM on October 1, 2004
I hope you got $10 Dave.
Posted by: Monkey | 01:29 PM on October 1, 2004
The internet is serious business.
Posted by: JFC | 01:29 PM on October 1, 2004
INTERNET!
Posted by: Hung0v3r | 01:36 PM on October 1, 2004
kekekekekekekeke interweb
Posted by: The FAKE Lowtax | 01:42 PM on October 1, 2004
FYAD FYAD LOL
Posted by: SA Goon | 02:04 PM on October 1, 2004
Do you have stai..fuck
Posted by: saspam | 02:10 PM on October 1, 2004
what
Posted by: hay what to i type hea | 02:14 PM on October 1, 2004
I am prooooOOOHH almost walked into that one there.
Posted by: goonie goona goon | 02:28 PM on October 1, 2004
jon stewart is a goon?
Posted by: fyad lol | 02:28 PM on October 1, 2004
FIVE GOLDEN MANBABIES! LOLOLOL!
Posted by: Goontacular | 02:43 PM on October 1, 2004
Hey goons, Dave Barry is cool. DON'T POST STUPID SHIT cluttering up the blog, thanks. Invasion is bannable, you know.
Dave Barry, a question on many SA goons minds that has prompted some posts here is: are you a member of the Something Awful Forums?
Posted by: Stabbey_the_Clown | 02:46 PM on October 1, 2004
There are a lot of idiots at the forums but just ignore them. This link has been posted on the Something Awful forums and inspired a topic about you. The result has been positive and you should take a look and think about joining if you are not already a member
Posted by: little billy | 02:56 PM on October 1, 2004
so this is the internet huh
Posted by: cooldude2039232111 | 03:04 PM on October 1, 2004
Thanks for giving we goons our due. It's not often that two of my fave sites get together and share info.
Posted by: Marc | 06:14 PM on October 1, 2004
We SA goons are the nexus of all comedy. Someday we will make the Miami Herald obsolete!@!!! Phear us!!!1\
Also,. I'm drunk. :cb:
Posted by: Hangly Man | 06:45 PM on October 1, 2004
Hello Internet!
Posted by: Internet Superstar | 06:45 PM on October 1, 2004
dave barry sounds like grave berry
Posted by: bonky | 06:50 PM on October 1, 2004
SomethingAwful geeks kick arse. Wish I had a membership to the forums. (But I can still read them for free, hahahaha.)
Posted by: Kleenexwoman | 07:03 PM on October 1, 2004
Hello David, you once wrote about my fraternity throwing a rowing machine off the balcony into the street below - the obvious solution to one of mankind's oldest questions. Eight years later (and almost a degree) I am surrounded by an even smarter group on internet.
Posted by: INTERNET | 07:06 PM on October 1, 2004
what are you doing dave
Posted by: fiestacat | 07:48 PM on October 1, 2004
Hey Mr. Barry,
Do you have stairs in your house?
Posted by: Jack | 11:00 PM on October 1, 2004
Wow. Just wow.
Five manbabies to you, good sir.
Posted by: PigBeeler | 12:27 AM on October 2, 2004
GOLD! ^____________^
Posted by: FYADtubgirl | 01:46 AM on October 2, 2004
Hey Dave, your books are funny, keep writing.
Hugs and Kisses,
Keshik
Posted by: Keshik | 06:50 AM on October 2, 2004
goonie goonie goon goon?
Posted by: !FYADFYADLOL | 07:17 AM on October 2, 2004
Looks like the goons tracked back and found the post!
Posted by: Shannon | 07:43 AM on October 2, 2004
HI MUM
Posted by: Loe Tacks | 03:32 AM on October 4, 2004
Oh Noes, Now YOU are on Something Awful Dave :D
Posted by: Publius | 06:05 AM on October 4, 2004
From the Something Awful main story today:
"Dave Barry is a killer of men. He has slain at least five personally, using nebulous diplomatic immunity rights to avoid criminal prosecution, although at one point the federal government threatened to extradite him to Peru."
They had Matt Drudge dig up this dirt on you! Those filthy Goons will pay for this!!!
Posted by: FunkyGenome | 08:03 AM on October 4, 2004
