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October 01, 2004

WHY MAYBE WE NEED TO BAN THE INTERNET

This is scary.

(Thanks to the evil geniuses at Something Awful)

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Have to go put my face (with beard) on sexy woman's body.......

First (although stupid work internet blocker wouldn't let me see the page).

I wish my office didn't block everything...

Nothing to see here...move along.

Wow! Porno! Thanks Dave!

For those of you who can't see it, it's a website offering to put anyone's face on someone else's body - I'm pretty sure it's Miriam, but I can't be 100% sure...

I am apparently not the only one who can't get to it. That's probably a good thing.

We're back! Weeee.

re: Something Awful:
Don't kids say the darnedest things?

I don't see how this can be a positive part of a healthy relationship, you know? They gotta be pretty much catoring to stalkers.

"Honey, let me take a quick picture of you for my wallet."

"Ok sounds fun! Let me pose here on the couch!"

"Doesn't really matter, I just need a headshot."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?"

"I'm gonna have YOUR head pasted on a MUCH sexier body. Sweet huh?"

*gets out chainsaw*

"That's a great idea. I think I'll put YOUR head somewhere, too!"

Did anyone else get far enough into the website (www.enchantingpics.com) to read this?

"If you order ten sexy poses at a time, we will give you an extra love spell free. You'll get eleven love spells for the price of ten."

WOW! Just think! As if it wasn't insulting enough to have a photo of my girl/boyfriend's face plastered on someone's else's body, I can have FREE love spells as well! Now, where the heck did I leave my credit card?!

(On a side note, out of curiosity, I did a WHOIS search on the domain to see if this was an offshore ripoff thingy or not. The registrant lives in South Dakota. The web host's address shows as a mail drop in - here's a SHOCKER! - boiler room capital of the world, Fort Lauderdale.)

They like to be referred to as "goons" and not evil geniuses. I wouldn't want to irritate them, otherwise they might do one of their Photoshop Phridays about Dave. Dave's scary enough on his own. Could you imagine what they'd do to him? In case you haven't seen it yet, it's located in the upper right corner just below the hentai ad...

Dave B(ickle) - wouldn't you like to know.

I guess the carpet doesn't match the drapes...

HEY! I know that brunette!

Dreamt about her the other night.

.... good times .....

hmm. dubya's face on his mother's body. there's an appealing thought. now, everybody go wash THAT image out of your head!!

queensbee! That's just plain mean!

Dave B: I thought it was Tina after the debate last night, but that's just me. Glad I have a "home office" so porn is cool here.

queensbee, I just ate! Please.

Dear Enchantingpics.com,

It is with deep regret that I am forced to write this letter informing you that I will be suing you for 100 Kajillion dollars.

As a longtime and previously very satisfied customer, it pains me to sick the lawfirm of Satan, Dracula, and Manilow LLC, Esq. on you, but you have left me with no choice.

As you are well aware, I submitted eleven hundred photos of my neighbor's wife to you for transposition into many tasteful and yet lustily suggestive poses, largely along the theme of A Day Trip to the Farm, as a special surprise for my neighbor, Bill.

I will be unable to present this surprise to Bill, however, as, even after three attempts to get it right, picture #1043 in the series continues to show the donkey's tail inappropriately obstructing the field mouse on her left nipple. How you can you think it is sexy when you can't even SEE the mouse is beyond me. Is this your idea of a joke? Well ha ha, my lawyers will cook your testicles in open court!

As if that weren't enough, I received my 110 love spells, and cast every one of them on Anna Kournikova, and yet her restraining order forbidding me to enter any part of the Eastern Hemisphere remains.

I look forward to poking your entrails.

Sincerely,

Holden Magroin

Darn.

LOL, Christobol.

what it is is a lousy job of photoshopping.

it's not "put some woman's head on another erotic body and make it look real".

sheesh

"Skeet shooting perfectly captures the horror of life as a duck."

There was porn and I missed it? goshdarn websense and everything it represents...

Miriam - well, yeah! I thought that went without saying. Come on, have a heart. Ya gotta have heart....

This site gets more twisted the further in you get. Did anyone look at the Daisy Duke pictures? They photoshopped the head of a ? 14-year old ? onto Catherine Bach's body. Of course, the 'original' photo, with Catherine Bach's plastic alien face actually looks worse.

Do you have stairs in your house?

The Internet makes you stupid.

I may be a goon, but I for one like being called an evil genius. *hmph*

I hope you got $10 Dave.

The internet is serious business.

INTERNET!

kekekekekekekeke interweb

FYAD FYAD LOL

Do you have stai..fuck

what

I am prooooOOOHH almost walked into that one there.

jon stewart is a goon?

FIVE GOLDEN MANBABIES! LOLOLOL!

Hey goons, Dave Barry is cool. DON'T POST STUPID SHIT cluttering up the blog, thanks. Invasion is bannable, you know.

Dave Barry, a question on many SA goons minds that has prompted some posts here is: are you a member of the Something Awful Forums?

There are a lot of idiots at the forums but just ignore them. This link has been posted on the Something Awful forums and inspired a topic about you. The result has been positive and you should take a look and think about joining if you are not already a member

so this is the internet huh

Thanks for giving we goons our due. It's not often that two of my fave sites get together and share info.

We SA goons are the nexus of all comedy. Someday we will make the Miami Herald obsolete!@!!! Phear us!!!1\

Also,. I'm drunk. :cb:

Hello Internet!

dave barry sounds like grave berry

SomethingAwful geeks kick arse. Wish I had a membership to the forums. (But I can still read them for free, hahahaha.)

Hello David, you once wrote about my fraternity throwing a rowing machine off the balcony into the street below - the obvious solution to one of mankind's oldest questions. Eight years later (and almost a degree) I am surrounded by an even smarter group on internet.

what are you doing dave

Hey Mr. Barry,

Do you have stairs in your house?

Wow. Just wow.
Five manbabies to you, good sir.

GOLD! ^____________^

Hey Dave, your books are funny, keep writing.

Hugs and Kisses,
Keshik

goonie goonie goon goon?

Looks like the goons tracked back and found the post!

HI MUM

Oh Noes, Now YOU are on Something Awful Dave :D

From the Something Awful main story today:
"Dave Barry is a killer of men. He has slain at least five personally, using nebulous diplomatic immunity rights to avoid criminal prosecution, although at one point the federal government threatened to extradite him to Peru."
They had Matt Drudge dig up this dirt on you! Those filthy Goons will pay for this!!!

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