« Previous | Main | Next »

October 15, 2004

WHEN PEOPLE ASK US WHAT TASTEFUL DESIGN ELEMENT EVERY HOME NEEDS

We say: a drooling deer faucet.

(Thanks to B.J. White)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Is it down?

First?

Worked this time. I think that would make a lovely addition to a Manhattan apartment

All I can say is at least the water comes out of the deer's MOUTH...

...and just as I was getting ready to fix dinner. Blech.

Dayum, that's one expensive deer head.
I think I could make one. I'll need a deer head and some pipe. My customers will need a sink and a high tolerance for decomposing flesh in their kitchens.

Dad!

At those prices, an endless stream of beer better be flowing out of that varmits mouth.

It's random strangely unappealing ramparts time kids!

If she squished those ramparts any closer together she'd have uniboob.

I'd love to have that puking deer, but I'd be afraid it might make my Dogs Playing Poker look tacky.

In my humble opinion, A Drooling Dear Faucet is way better than a Peeing Cherub Faucet.

But then again, what the heck do I know.

Dayum, that's way better'n that singin' fish I got momma last Christm's.

Seriously, though, this thing would be just about perfect if it talked, saying, "Mmmmm, salt lick..."

And, really, you gotta hand it to anyone who thought, "Taxidermy. Plumbing. Hmmmm?"

we have the pooping hippo frozen yogurt server in our place. it's awesome. come by if you want. here's the flavors we have:

orange.
vanilla.
low fat vanilla.

That's what we got. Mmmmm.

Dad!

Bambi (Slowlayne) - Perfect! LOL!~

My father in-law installed one of these. Stumbled into the bathroom one night after "sleep sexing", slipped on a discarded condom and blinded himself on the antlers.
He was a tad upset, then realised that he no longer had to look at his wife. Of course that eased the pain.
He now says it was $12,800 + tax + installation + medical bills + increased insurance premiums (say $850K total)well spent.

Silver- OUCH!! LOL!!

A drooling deer faucet, a Singin' Big Mouth Billy Bass, and a wood sculpture shaped like a crotch. Yeppp, my pad's sure going to impress the chicks now!

in Hanover Park, Ill., it IS the other end of the deer. and it's not made of bronze, either.

Sure is corn. One suggestion, get a pink flamingo in there just to show you have a sensitive side.

Nobody's mentioning that you can get a bird that spews water from its breasts!

MKJ - Do you think Ms. "I sell jewels with my jewels" thinks she's attractive?

Shade: I think she's like the energizing bunny!

This would look lovely next to the gunrack made of deer hoofs. Ewwww, and more ewwww.

You know there'd be fecal matter in that water in no time.

Can we all just agree to stop talking about anything FECAL? Ok, BOOGERS!

No way you could have that faucet for long in my home state of Alabama. Every time cousin Bubba took a leak in the guest bathroom, you'd hear gunshots. Bubba wouldn't be able to help himself.

That's worthy of the gift guide

I was just sitting here thinking to myself, as I so rarely do, and all of a sudden I thought, my God, this is an enormous discovery: "drooling deer faucet" anagrams to "die, ultra gonef decor."

If someone would alert the presses, I would appreciate it, because I'm getting ready to go to bed.

Imagine going drunk, into the bathroom, uh.. OWWWWWIE, when you hit some part of your body on those antlers. yeah. practical.

How about a nice rhino head bidet to go with that?

Isn't that rhino bidet right next to the porcupine bath mat?

Why yes it is. I'm stuck ro another reference. Help?

Electric eel enema kit does not quite fit the parameters, but does raise questions. By the way, "ro" was supposed to be "for".

Looks like Dave has some competition in the race: Prophet Hosanna Jesse Oliver Gray.

Baby, that ain't all an electric eel enema would raise!
Eeeewwwww!
*shudder*
Eeewwww...

Does your toilet seat feature the sea urchin seat cover?

Time for a love tutor guys & gals!

(n.b., the love tutor can do nothing to help you with spelling, however . . . )

My toilet cover is part bald eagle and part baby dolphin.

Hmmm... with the baby dolphins you don't get the spots. So you like the smoother look and working the texture from the eagle feather patterns?

And

40!

Precisely.

Did I mention that my shower curtain is made out of leopard skin and my faucets are authentic Indian elephant ivory. It's quite an eye catcher.

Don't get the wrong idea, I'm no poacher. It's all roadkill. Swear to ya!

MKJ... Gotta ask... how do you FIND this stuff?

WAAAAAAY to much freetime!

do you think that's available in moose?

ZHow bout a "Big Mouth" Bass head toliet seat? Whenever you left the room you could say," I've got to go to the "head!"

ZHow bout a "Big Mouth" Bass head toliet seat? Whenever you left the room you could say," I've got to go to the "head!"

ZHow bout a "Big Mouth" Bass head toliet seat? Whenever you left the room you could say," I've got to go to the "head!"

ZHow bout a "Big Mouth" Bass head toliet seat? Whenever you left the room you could say," I've got to go to the "head!"

Epic anagramic poem, inspired by Doug, who is (literally) quoted below.

Gee, faun. Credit dolor
'fore rage. Deduct loin
of granite doe, curled
near fire duct log. Ode,
indeed! Farce! Lo, grout
fount! O, Grail decreed!

DROOLING DEER FAUCET

Cede old touring fear.
Get force alone. Druid
ice guard, redolent of
cedar, done fruit. Ogle,
enrouted codger. Fail
if Doug recanted lore:

"Die, ultra gonef décor."

Racing duet, flee door.
O duel nor fetid grace.
Go on. Rued race lifted
leaf to cue derring-do.
Laud tricorne edge of
gilded racoon. Refute!

Fat, rude, condor liege.

O, cute, enraged, florid
race, toiled under fog
faceted ground, oiler
of lurid gear. O decent,
fecund, oil gore. Tread
odor, if truce gleaned:

Fecal ridge 'round toe.

Thank you.

I feel honored. If you want to come to my room, I'll give you some jellybeans, even if you turn out to be a male person.

And for an added touch, the wooden moose candy dispenser (as seen on QVC).

Thanks Doug.
Sadly (or not) I am male.
I'd have to pass on the jelly beans.
(I'm sweet enough already).
Got beer?

I'uh armadillo soup bow.
i'uh looking for a tureen,
have yuh seen a nice green turtle?
that would really please my spleen???

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise