WE HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS
"Man's best friend," indeed.
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"Man's best friend," indeed.
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Snausages.
Posted by: Lou Bricant | October 05, 2004 at 07:31 AM
*speechless*
Um ... er ... I ... uh ... Ow!
Posted by: punky brewster | October 05, 2004 at 07:31 AM
BLERGHHH! How can you mistake your morton for a chicken neck?
Posted by: fort | October 05, 2004 at 07:32 AM
Gives new meaning to the saying "eat me", don't it?
Posted by: punky brewster | October 05, 2004 at 07:33 AM
This is why I do not own chickens
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 05, 2004 at 07:38 AM
Out of Danger? OUT OF DANGER? *shudders and goes off to shake in the corner*
Was this a short-haired Bobbit-Hound, by any chance?
Posted by: Dave B(ickle) | October 05, 2004 at 07:43 AM
"Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger"
Begging to differ, this man will never be out of danger...
Posted by: jamester | October 05, 2004 at 07:45 AM
Tastes like chicken.
Posted by: Leetie | October 05, 2004 at 07:47 AM
penis? chicken neck?
Sure, it's a mistake anyone could make, after drinking a couple of bottles of schnapps.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 05, 2004 at 07:48 AM
Tina, thanks for sharing that, but... PLEASE STOP!
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 05, 2004 at 07:49 AM
Indeed, the man himself may be out of danger since being relieved of his hallowed nether-region, but is any other man in his chicken yard safe ...
== anagrams ==>
A noncom nuts antic
Con man action nuts
Posted by: MOTW | October 05, 2004 at 07:51 AM
Doesn't everyone's d!ck have feathers on it?
Posted by: Constantin Mocanu | October 05, 2004 at 07:51 AM
My question is, what exactly was he doing with a knife and a chicken and... er... himself, that he got them all confused. Just asking...
Posted by: Zilmoe | October 05, 2004 at 07:52 AM
Leetie ... not the ones I've tasted ...
Posted by: punky brewster | October 05, 2004 at 07:52 AM
You know...there's more to this story....like the REAL story. I mean, I don't care how dark it is or how angry a guy is at a chicken, that just doesn't happen.
Posted by: slyeyes | October 05, 2004 at 07:52 AM
but . . but . . . they never said why the ambulance was bleeding heavily!
Posted by: Gramma Check | October 05, 2004 at 07:53 AM
Excellent question, Zilmoe
Inquiring minds want to know!
Posted by: punky brewster | October 05, 2004 at 07:54 AM
Was he...choking the chicken at the time?
Sorry.
Posted by: Dave B(ickle) | October 05, 2004 at 07:55 AM
Good thing he was elderly ... he probably wasn't much in need of his "chicken neck" these days anyway.
Posted by: punky brewster | October 05, 2004 at 07:57 AM
LOL Leetie.
I don't care how dark it is or how angry a guy is at a chicken, that just doesn't happen.
Hmm, sly, want to lie down on the couch and tell us all about it?
And in other penis-related news, this story had a happier ending, except for the crayfish.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 05, 2004 at 07:58 AM
It's always something with the penises... if it's not one thing it's another. If it's not a dog, it's a crayfish. If it's not a crayfish, it's a belt sander. Sheesh.
Posted by: Leetie | October 05, 2004 at 08:05 AM
A Cinnamon Stunt Co
Posted by: MOTW | October 05, 2004 at 08:10 AM
The ultimate punchline would be if this guy, now "out of danger," returned to his home, went back to bed -- and the chicken started up the whole racket again.
Posted by: golfwidow | October 05, 2004 at 08:11 AM
LoL, Golfwidow!
Posted by: Dave B(ickle) | October 05, 2004 at 08:18 AM
I just know I'm never having dinner at that house. You never know what he's cooking up.
Posted by: slyeyes | October 05, 2004 at 08:19 AM
Man chokes chicken, dog gets bone.
Posted by: Leetie | October 05, 2004 at 08:30 AM
I suspect fowl play.
Posted by: MeganBNL | October 05, 2004 at 08:37 AM
His manliness must have been pretty good sized if he could mistake it for a chicken's neck...
Posted by: SchadeBoy | October 05, 2004 at 08:42 AM
I think it was a plot by the chickens......
Posted by: kibby F5 | October 05, 2004 at 08:45 AM
"I told you that dog was stupid, he just ate a chicken's head, ha! (why does it hurt so much when I laugh?)"
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 05, 2004 at 08:47 AM
The other white meat.....
Posted by: Blue Meanie | October 05, 2004 at 09:09 AM
eyyewwwwwwwwww!. he's out of danger now? not from stupidity. did they reattach his johnson or what?
Posted by: queensbee | October 05, 2004 at 09:09 AM
I am no longer going to use hot dogs as a reward when training my german shepherd!
Posted by: Flash | October 05, 2004 at 09:12 AM
Now you know why Leetie is a rock star!
Clearly Zilmoe is right. Seems like a convenient fabrication for even more bizarre facts.
We need Polly to explain about prosthetics to the man with odd chicken habits.
Sorry to hear that about you Schadeboy (just kidding! all in fun! please don't give me a wedgie, sir!)
Posted by: Deontologist | October 05, 2004 at 09:12 AM
Story doesn't seem to be available for me, but from the comments alone I can get the idea, and that is more than enough for me.
Posted by: Susan | October 05, 2004 at 09:16 AM
Do you think he used a knife, or was it a hatchet on the old chopping block? (Sorry, probably more detail than we guys want to know) *cringes*
Posted by: F | October 05, 2004 at 09:18 AM
Do you think he used a knife, or was it a hatchet on the old chopping block? (Sorry, probably more detail than we guys want to know) *cringes*
Posted by: Flash | October 05, 2004 at 09:21 AM
Excellent, Leetie.
Posted by: punky brewster | October 05, 2004 at 09:21 AM
I don't know, honest mistake . . .
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 05, 2004 at 09:35 AM
His cock* had him apoplectic
And then, without anesthetic
He chopped off his log
It got ate by a dog
Now he's got a penile prosthetic
* noun: adult male chicken (for all you pervs out there)
Posted by: slow and forbidden layne | October 05, 2004 at 09:36 AM
"favorite gag" indeed, MKJ
Posted by: MOTW | October 05, 2004 at 09:38 AM
I also sent a copy of this story to Dave and the blogpeople. I thought, if any story screams Dave's blog, it's this one.
I'm not sure what that says about Dave's blog, really...or why I enjoy it so much...
Posted by: Angie | October 05, 2004 at 09:45 AM
I'm sure that his actions produced the desired result--he didn't notice the chicken making all that noise anymore.
Posted by: GDogg | October 05, 2004 at 09:48 AM
Here you go Susan; wouldn't want you to feel left out.
BUCHAREST (Reuters) - A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said Monday.
It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.
"I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."
Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.
Flash, good one. I checked back but it doesn't say what he used to do the chopping. My guess is that he was very drunk, the chicken's cackling was making his head pound, he was too drunk to catch the chicken, he (being naked) caught sight of his Johnson and in a fit of something just chopped it off. When the dog ran up he probably just threw it to him and dogs being dogs it was "Chow time."
Posted by: Jeff 403, damn you) Meyerson | October 05, 2004 at 09:54 AM
It says he was in his underwear. He must have...um...some really unsupportive underwear. I'm just sayin'.
I spoke too soon. Darned Forbidden. Ftth.
Posted by: Angie | October 05, 2004 at 09:59 AM
The lesson here: Choke the chicken.
Sorry if I was too graphic there.
Posted by: PorkchopSandwiches | October 05, 2004 at 10:00 AM
So, I guess we would call his pooch a "weiner dog?" I never liked dachsunds anyway, now I know why.
Posted by: Bob T | October 05, 2004 at 10:45 AM
Yeah, well, he hardly proved himself to be the dog's best friend, either.
"Reports tried to interview the man's dog, but the dog's spokesman stated "Rusty can't talk right now, he's still at the toilet gargling".
Posted by: jamester the forbidden | October 05, 2004 at 10:54 AM
Reporters, dammit.
Posted by: jamester the forbidden | October 05, 2004 at 10:56 AM
Gargling? Now that's insulting... especially for an animal that eats it's own crap.
Posted by: Leetie | October 05, 2004 at 11:42 AM
Thank you Jeff. It finally was available.
I am so glad there were no pictures.
I would think, though, that if you were going to be beheading a chicken, you would keep any personal appendages far far away from sharp objects. Unless he was very very well endowed, I would think he would have noticed that the chicken neck wasn't that terribly far away.
Much alcohol must have been involved.
Posted by: Susan | October 05, 2004 at 11:54 AM
If the man "rushed out into his yard in his underwear" wouldn't his unit have been COVERED?!
Methinks there's more here than meets the, er, ahem, eye.
In any case, it just flat out hurts to think about me. As the male bloggers will attest, it's painful enough to get your johnson caught in a zipper much less . . . this.
Posted by: Trystan Shout | October 05, 2004 at 12:21 PM
Dog: Yo, what's for dinner?
Constantin Mocanu: Penis Cacciatore, or Penis Nuggets. Don't know yet.
Posted by: D'Artagnan | October 05, 2004 at 12:30 PM
Ouchie. That's just fowl if you ask me.
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: It had to feed the dog.
Posted by: Federal Duck | October 05, 2004 at 12:32 PM
That wouldn't happen to me. Even if I was sleepy and drunk, I'd look down at the chopping block and say, "Hey. Who put this Ostrich Neck here in place of that chicken I was gonna kill?"
Ya know what I'm sayin? (I'm just sayin'...)
Posted by: Sabu The Coconut Boy | October 05, 2004 at 03:29 PM
Cock, chicken, they're all in the same family.
Posted by: Lmd33 | October 05, 2004 at 03:42 PM