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October 04, 2004

THOSE BASTARDS

Now they're after Easter eggs.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

(Troubling question: Easter eggs are made in October?)

Comments

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I'll give you first, Megan.

Hey, if I was to steal something, it wouldn't be something that could be traced, like money. It'd be chocolate. I could always eat the evidence later if I got caught.

mmmm... chhhocolate!

*checks calendar*

Not Halloween candy?

*checks calendar*

Not Halloween candy?

Lancashire Police, dressed in their Sunday best, were seen roaming the country with massive Easter baskets in a huge recovery effort. Also seen, countless citizens screaming, "Behind THAT tree! NO! The one on your left!!!"

*checks calendar*

Not Halloween candy?

what the heck?!?!?!?

Apparently, they did try to eat the evidence...

" five of the trailers have been recovered: four of them empty"

Should be easy to find the perpetrators....probably lying along a roadside somewhere in a chocolate-induced coma, with big-ass smiles on their faces.

A Cadbury cream egg sounds so good right now.

Perhaps the thiefs were just astronomers who have turned their attention to human mating rituals. The vast quantities of chocolate were to be used in a series of scientific experiments to determine just how much chocolate is required to successfully persuade a woman to mate. And, if they explain this to the cops, I'm pretty sure they're getting off (*groan*) as long as they share their results.

It should be easy to trace the thieves. Just keep tabs on local dermatologists for unusual acne levels in the population.

"It was a very well-organized raid."

No scrambling, I guess.

At the black market mythical figures rally:

Easter Bunny: *visibly shaking* So, you'se got the stuff, or what?

Santa: Yeah, we got it, but it's gonna cost you extra 'cause Donner and Blitzen got tagged by surveillance.

Tooth Fairy: This is sweet, I'll be working overtime when this load hits the black market.

Cupid: I want my cut, yo. I'm melting this down into chocolate ingot and reselling it on V-day for twice the black market value.

Easter Bunny: *covered in chocolate* Ahhh. Sweet sweet crack...I mean, chocolate.

I bet that Jeff Meyerson sent this link in yesterday.

Most thieves steal baskets of money
But these egg poachers smell funny
It seemed like a joke
They stole the yolks
Then came back for the chocolate bunny

Actually, If I were a cop on this case, I'd start by interviewing the Candian bloglits on this list. We all know how much they like chocolate, and that they have a rather loose interpretation of ethical behavior.

So, where were you all at the time of the theft, eh?

Tina- You might also want to say that after finding the empty truck "shells", officers hit the "beaten" path but have failed to "crack" the case and were left with "egg on their face". It all "boils" down to detective work. Polls indicate Britain believes the police should not receive a "Grade A" for this case. However, looking to the "sunny side" of things, they did find one truck still filled with the stolen goods. It must be "albumen" miracle.

I wonder if they have male or female suspects.. me... I would suspect female.. *wipes chocolate smudge off lips*

Curiously, half a bumber sticker was partially stuck to one of the bumpers. According to to Sgt. Froggert, "It said '...arry For President' Have to bring in Scotland Yard for this one." Conjecture is that it may be an international scheme.

I myself was just wondering who would have hatched this scheme.

"Robbers with their own trucks stole six trailer loads of chocolates..."

Well, at least they used their own trucks to cart off the chocolate. Now if they had used someone else's trucks, that would have been despicable.

*groan*

Sorry MOTW, meant to groan at the pun... but HEY, no 403!

*Jumps around ecstatically*

Slow afternoon on the blog? Where is everybody?

*tumbleweeds roll by*

*vaguely eerie western-movie whisling music*

*A townswoman looks out of a boarded window*

The 403s have scared everybody away...

Are you the Federal Duck we've heard so much about? *gleam of hope in eyes*

*wipes chocolate off lips, hands, and, well... most of my body parts.

Jeff P: I'll have you know that my ethics are about the only part of me that haven't been called loose. Well, until now.

Ahve come ta clean up this one-horse town.

*Flashes Federal Duck badge*

They tell me the outlaw gang 403 Posse has been scarin' the locals.

*Whips out his kazoo with lightning speed*

You just gotta ask yourself: Do you feel lucky...punk?

Oh, you do? Ah. Um, well...I'll just mosey on along to the saloon then.

so if it's stolen is it now 'hot' chocolate???

Saloon's raht here, mister! *Muffled music can be heard, and then what seems to be a fight*

Oh, looks like they're at it again... *A man flies out of the other window and lands in the dirt*

(Try #2)

Yay!!! my post, um, posted!

Hot chocolate! HA!

double ha-HOT chocolate, teeehee. two choc easterbunnies: hi, happy easter! [the one with the ear chewed off:] WHat????

I've got your spurs over here Bangi. You should definitely come get them.

*whistles innocently in the corner*

THE FORBIDDEN ZONE!!!

Yeah, Tina! Hop to it!

uuuuurp.....

You just know the perps responsible for this heist were four women with a severe case of PMS.

Now, they're sittin' back ... blissfully happy, albeit vibrating incessantly from all the sugar and caffeine.

Yea, now it posts. WTF? I thought Duck sceered away those vermints but...

*tired of crossing my fingers*

A chocolate covered duck unprotected from blogetts? Fugedabboutit!! or Fudgegetaboutit!

THAT'S were the women of this blog went last night!

thinking.oO "Well blast. Here I am, covered in chocolate, surrounded by hungry bloggettes, and nearly helpless. I guess I'll have to fend myself off with the infamous feather tickling defense."

*yanks out a feather*

Have At Ye!!

I meant this Bunny!

Rats, foiled again...

chocolatechocolatechocolatechocolate
chocolatechocolatechocolatechocolate
chocolatechocolatechocolatechocolate
chocolatechocolatechocolatechocolate
chocolatechocolatechocolatechocolate
chocolatechocolatechocolatechocolate


*thud*

I had a sweet tooth.
Now i need a sour root canal.

ugh, i think i'ma be sick...
8>

That's what they get for parking their chocolate booty in Skelmerdale

"Troubling question: Easter eggs are made in October?"
Could they have twinkies hidden inside?

Eggcelent question. Maybe we should ask an eggspert on Easter eggs.

I'm guessing there'll (not their'll) be an attempt at The World's Largest Chocolate Easter Bunny this coming spring.

Law Enforcement should be investigating .....

All this talk of chocolate is making me hungry.

Homer Simpson voice: MMMmmmm, chocolate....

I had a funnier earlier post but it got 403'd away!

Hey Jeff.....can't speak for other Canucks but I was..um...not in the vicinity...mmmm, this stuff is good...of those thefts....BTW....just checked with the local Hersheys/ Moirs Chocolate factory here in town and they'll be starting to work on next Christmas' chocolates in April.

This definitely sounds like the work of women. First of all the article states it was well organized and second it was chocolate. If they all have PMS they should be considered armed and dangerous.

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