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October 27, 2004


Last night in St. Louis we played our first "gig" (professional musician lingo for "noise") and it was great. I don't mean WE were great, of course, but there was an excellent crowd, and they received us enthusiastically, in the sense of not throwing anything large. Thank you, St. Louis!


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I'm a huge fan of you and the Red Sox. Got any extra tickets for Game 5 (if necessary)?

Reporter: I heard that you threw your guitar off the Arch and it sounded just like Gloria. Any comments?

Hey Dave, did you guys perform this:
One Week: Bare Naked Remainders

It’s been one week since David Barry
Said he’s takin’ timeout and made us angry
Five days since he waved good-bye, saying
Won’t be meeting deadlines come January
Three days ‘til I sober up
Tried to look at the bright side but I had no luck
Someday, he’ll return to me
Sayin’ can I come back if I say I’m sorry?

Hold it now and watch him hoodwink. He’ll make you stop, think
Like he’s Conan the Grammarian. You’ll soon wish, he’d once again dish
Though Ammmm is no fish, He’s just like sushi
In that I’d never want to eat him, man
Hot like picante, whatever he say, I want to replay
It’s so funny ‘cause it’s so true. You know he’s givin’ me fits
Don’t try to match wits. You’ll end up lookin’ like a damn fool

Give me a break it ain’t no fake two headed snake under my rake
He’s like Godzilla if Godzilla was a blogger
And when he shows, the laughter’s grows
can’t let it flow, though you say ‘mo’,
If he did you’d have to sign a waiver

How can he help it if it’s funny when the news is bad
You’re trying hard not to laugh, well you’ve been had
He’s the guy who makes you laugh at a funeral
Can’t understand what I mean? Well, you soon will
He has an ability to see what you don’t see
And a wardrobe of mostly blue shirts

It’s been one week since David Barry
Took a look at his fans and said ‘you’re crazy!’
Two months ‘til we’ll have to do
Without a weekly dose of laughter, say it ain’t true!
And next year will be upon us soon
Will Dave write booger sonnets every afternoon?
I guess we’ll just have to see
Just like que sera sera whatever be’s will be

Chicks from China maybe Chinese wiccan?
Let’s lick a toad until our brain stops tickin
Monty Python is always on,
Don’t need no reason, I think the cheese shop’s in this one
Like Manilow I’m getting mantic
Cher’s geriatric, I feel bad but I still wish they would die
While racing on a Kawasaki
Or playing hockey
Okay at least let me just watch them cry
Going out to hit some better clubs
Maybe some London pubs?
Let English women have a look see
Gotta hope Dave comes back real soon
Like by tomorrow, noon
Because by then Brit’s had enough of me

How can he help it if it’s funny when the news is bad
You’re trying hard not to laugh, but you’ve been had
He’s the guy who makes you laugh at a funeral
Can’t understand what I mean? Well, you soon will
He has an ability to see what you don’t see
And a wardrobe of mostly blue shirts

It’s been one week since David Barry
Said he’s takin’ timeout and made us angry
Five posts since Claire Martin
Got credit for something sent in by Jeff Meyerson
Three hours since Judi
Realized Dave was out and could blog nakedly
Maybe fortune will smile at me
Or will it still be a year ‘til Dave says he’s sorry
Or just come back and write and don’t say you’re sorry
Ok fine so you don’t have a cause to be sorry
Write me a book and we’ll put the blame on me
Ok fine will you at least go on blogging?

Have the St. Louians now changed the fountain colour to blue in tribute to you and your shirt?

That's great Dave.
Have they asked you to perform the national anthem at that baseball thingy they got going on there?

Dave wore a green shirt.

We cheered.

...no, the fountains are kinda pale pink...things are fading fast....

The concert was GREAT~!!!!

Michelle put in a brief appearance and sang La Bamba.

The band promised to give us updates from the game. After a couple of songs, Dave asked us, "Do you only want good news?" The crowd yelled yes....and they went into another song and nothing else was said.

Dave came down into the mosh pit with us for a bit. My cellphone/camera chose that time to not function.

It was a fun, fun, fun evening.

Dave's shirt was dark floral. He and his brother kinda dressed alike.

BTW, ladies, Mitch Albon is RIPPED!!!! WOWZERS!!

Now I have to go find a virgin to sacrifice to the baseball gods.
This may take awhile.

*clap clap* for Christobol.

It's cool to finally see some Bare Naked Canadian talent getting spoofed.


I'm a huge fan of you and the Red Sox. Got any extra tickets for Game 5 (if necessary)?

Sorry for the double post. Computer-thingy glitch.

cbol - you've been saving up for this one, huh?

There is a curse associated with playing a gig in St. Louis. You turn into Tina Turner's personal Chia Pet 24 days after the gig. You remain that way until someone stops watering you.

Cbolnchain - That was truly inspirational, er was it perspirational?

I say Both.

*Hat tip to ya*

Brat - I prefer to believe Cbol pulled that out of his celebrated ass between 11:36am and 11:44am.

Oh dear God, Christobol....I think I love you.

MeganBNL - Get in line!

Christobol: bravo! (looks for lighter, remembers he quick smoking in 1969; lights middle finger)

Thanks y'all. As for where it came from, let's take a look at the creative process.

Oops, let's not look there. This loaner ass has issues.

The song started rattling in my head last night (I'm a longtime bnl fan) and it was still there when I woke up this morning. Dave's post on the RBR tour made me think I should see if I could actually write it out.

Turns out I couldn't, so I posted that crap instead!

WOW! Who would have thought so many rank (either definition) amateurs would sound so good! I have to tell you, I wasn't expecting such a pro-caliber concert. Granted, the band wasn't either, so I guess we were all pleasantly surprised! With guest appearances by Sam Barry (brothero) and Michelle Barry (el wifiepoo), the audience was entertained all night long with screaming cover tunes and happy feet. And seeing Amy Tan in a blond whig was a hoot -- even better than the dominatrix outfit! My only complaint is that the program handout was full of punctuation errors, especially on the bios page. Maybe the author needed to hook up with the girl with the "pretty good grammar." (That was a GREAT song!)

By the way, I'm the guy in the Cardinals shirt who gave his wife the "Complete Guide to Guys" as a pre-marital counseling gift in a vain attempt to, as you put it, "lower her expectations." Remember me now?

We have a friend in Florida who is a dedicated Peter Pan nut; in fact, she's named after one of the characters (no, her name isn't Tinkerbell). We missed a golden opportunity to buy a copy of "Peter and the Starcatchers" at the book signing at the library but were wondering if there is any way we can buy a copy and get it to you and Ridley to sign for her? We'd be happy to pay for any shipping.

I can't wait until April to get a copy of Ridley's new book, "Cut and Run." Please post anything you know about publishing dates and signings.

I think Our Crap Is Your Treasure should be the title of BNR's first album.

No, Dave, thank YOU for quite possibly the most amazing concert experience ever. And I saw "Weird Al" Yankovic in 1999, at Six Flags. You guys were WAY better.

Slyeyes, you forgot to mention Amy's husband VROOMing onstage....

Our Crap Is Your Treasure Way Better!

Here's a comment I sent to some friends this morning about the concert. I didn't get EVERYTHING...but enough.

The concert last night was great. Remember Dave said one group of our bloglits were surprisingly normal? Well, the RBR were surprisingly...not awful. Actually, they were good.

And what any lacked in musical ability, they more than made up for in fun and entertainment.

Mitch Albon did a Elvis impression -- early Elvis. At one point, he stripped of his jacket and shirt; just wearing a tight t-shirt and black and white striped pajama pants....that was for Jailhouse Rock. Let me tell you girls...that man is RIPPED. OK, Mitch, Tuesdays you can have with Morrie, the rest of the week....rrrrrrrrrooooowwwwwwwrrrrr.


Sam Barry played harmonica, and at one point soloed on a gospel tune. Great!

Scott Turow and Roy Blount, Jr. were a hoot. They teamed up to do Wild Thing. Roy apparently has less musical ability than I. The only thing he did was to several times speak a strategically placed "You move me" to Scott. Most of the time he struck elderly statesman-like poses.

Ridley had said that he got into writing because he couldn't make it as a musician. The music world's loss. His singing, guitar playing and stage presence were great.

Greg Iles has a great voice and is great on guitar. He sang a bluesy song and Paperback Writer.

At one point, I was down in the mosh pit, next to the stage, trying to take a picture of Ridley and Amy Tan with my cell phone, and who dances by but Dave Barry playing his guitar. I tried to take pictures of Dave down in the mosh pit with us.....but my cell phone chose just that minute to say let me know it was out of memory for more pictures. I think that's what it said. I have middle-aged eyes trying to read the teeny tiny little letters in the dark without my glasses...and after 2 pre-concert cosmopolitans. Knowing I had very little time to deal with the situation while Dave was dancing with us, I tried to delete all pictures. The cell phone and I had the following conversation.

Me: Delete all.

Cell: You sure.

Me: Yes.

Cell: Now think about this for a minute, are you sure you want to delete ALL pictures.

Me: Yes.

Cell phone: *begins to go through pictures indivudally and ask me if I really really want to delete them.*

Me: *Squinting, trying to find the option for "delete all the freaking pictures now, dammit"*

Of course, Dave was back on stage by the time my phone and I were back on speaking terms.

At one point, a sultry Latin chiquita came out and sang La Bomba. Seeing the looks she and Dave were giving each other, I thought, "That has to be Michelle." At one hot look that passed between them, I thought, "That BETTER be Michelle."

It was.

Amy Tan and her husband, Lou, sang Leader of the Pack. She later came out in her dominatrix outfit and whipped the band to a frenzy with her cat o'nine tails. Dave seemed to enjoy that a little too much. She sang These Boots are Made for Walking.

Roger McGuinn was GREAT and they did several Byrds songs.

The sax player, Erasmus, wore some sort of bizzare hat that looked like a Buddist temple. You can almost see it in the picture with Amy Tan.

Kathy Goldmark sang a C/W song she wrote for her book. The song was "Older than You." It's about a middle-aged woman's obsession with a hot young stud in a bar. She tells him she's got underwear...."Older than You."

The band did an encore to Gloria....which I believe Fed Duck dissed on the mainblog yesterday. The significant others of most of the band members joined them onstage. Amy's husband and two micro-dogs were there.

It was just a fun fun fun evening. If the RBR comes to a venue near you, I highly suggest you go. You'll have a great time AND it's for a good cause, American SCORES.

*makes note to self...CELL PHONE is for phone calls... CAMERA is for pictures.*

>>The sax player, Erasmus, wore some sort of bizzare hat that looked like a Buddist temple.

I would like to know where he got that hat. It is awesome.
The concert was a blast... so much better than baseball, although some people evidently don't think so; I saw a couple guys walking around with FM radios, tuning into the game and wincing every now and then.

-the Pink-Haired Girl

I got a little ticked at the people at the bar who didn't shut up when Kathy was singing her song.

And I forgot to say, Erasmus had a GREAT voice.

He does, doesn't he?

Slyeyes--that was YOU with the cell-phone camera??

I watched as you tried so valiantly to get a picture. The Agony of Defeat. I did not laugh. I think I should get a medal for that.

There were a number of us with cell phone cameras, but I think I was the only one punching the hell out of mine.

mb, just read your blog about last night. AWESOME!!!!

Oo, thankee, slyeyes. It was only a lifelong dream coming true for me, after all.....

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