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October 06, 2004


(Thanks to Dennis Gamble)


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I was wondering what Ron Jeremy was doing in Britain ...

A 15 pound cock ... I hurt just thinking about that.

Until he decides to kill it and feed it to the dog, of course.

He must be very proud

A mutant cock is a sure ticket to your 15 minutes of fame, is all I'm sayin...

the way I heard it, Jeremy is the biggest cock in Britian. Least ways that's what his ex tells anyone who will listen down at the pub.

Stupid bird! It's gettin' well nigh on to Thanksgiving, he ought to stop all that growin'!

...the biggest cock in Britain - a 2ft monster which he calls Melvin.

Jeremy is actually an old boyfriend of mine. Ya know, before I met him I didnt' think there was such a thing as too big.

*rubs bruised liver*

I didn't know it was 12 pounds, though. I wonder how they weighed it?

Polly ... they grabbed it by the feathers.

I bet you'd have one hell of a time choking that chicken.

That must have been very traumatic for Melvin. Did he shrink away in fear?

LOL, Punk!

Perhaps they'd do better to cock their rifle...it would be more humane.

Or maybe jerkin' the turkey around enough would kill the beast.


Oooops. Sorry. I was always taught not to talk with my mouth full.

Ouch, guys! That reminds me of the Sex in the City episode where ... well, you know which one.

It pleases me that you watched Sex in the City, Jeff. :)

Thank You

No, Jeremy ... thank you

If you combine the headline with judi's post, you get:

Jeremy has the biggest cock in Britain (Thanks to Dennis Gamble)

Sorry Dennis, I just had to post that. I promise it will never happen again, maybe.

That is one Hell of an Uber Winky.

What time is it? It's time for a random ramparts auction!

If that Romanian guy had that chicken, he might not have made that tragic mistake.

Oh dear...the blogettes are running arounded cock-eyed at this story. A few more thoughts and they will soon be half-cocked. ;)

Mahatma thanks. That should help balance this thread. She actually deserves to be mentioned with this giant cock. I wonder how much money she made for this modelling job.

Punky, always happy to please you.

Mahatma, nice neck.

SchadeBoy: you should know by now that there is no such thing as too far off topic here.

I loved the way the headline just said "Jeremy" as if he were Madonna or (God forbid) Cher. Or better yet, Punky or Bangi.

Thanks ShadeB, I will wear that trick or treating

SchadeBoy - Of course not! You're supposed to put the bottom half on your head, tie the top half as loosely as possible, and prance around shouting 'I AM FUZZY AND BLUE! WHO WANTS TO GIVE ME A KISS?'

Melvin is an interesting "pet name" for a cock.

I don't go for fuzzy

I'm not a big fan of fuzzy either ...

Good thing ... otherwise my esthetician would be out of business.

I don't do sparklies or fuzzy, either. I'm into cotton panties, myself.

Actually, I prefer it if my wife is in them. If I get in them, she gives me this really funny look and backs away slowly...

Ok, hands up. Who clicked "view seller's other auctions" for Mahatma Kane Jeeves' random ramparts auction?

I didn't think to, but now that you mention it...

Quick! Spell-check, and hurry!

Yikes... they're also selling a STAR WARS TRILONGY VHS VEDIO

Bet you didn't know 'Naive' Americans had dance fans

What cracks me up is the descriptions of the guitar parts. They always start with "You are looking at a such-and-such" and I'm saying, "Oh no I'm not!!"


Used to perform the fandango, no doubt.

"what you are looking at..."

My ramparts (foot).

Here's a Rare and Lifelike Old Jade Girl created by laborious and sapiential Chinese people

Mahatma I wonder if this "woman" has an air guitar for display?

Hi Peri ... nice to see you here. :)


You must have a great deal of time on your hands to be able to find such wonderful items for bid on EBAY. Do you search for "ramparts"?

Jeff - naw, e-Bay just knows him by login name and dishes it up!

Hi, Peri.

If we change that around just a tad, here's what I see - Jeremy runs MOUNTfitchet castle in stansted, esSEX, where MELVIN lives with his MATE Mandy.

Hmmm and I was always told that steroids made the cock smaller .

Jeff: I don't think 'ramparts' would get the desired result.

Psalm 48:13
consider well her ramparts,
view her citadels,
that you may tell of them to the next generation.

Habakkuk 2:1
I will stand at my watch
and station myself on the ramparts;
I will look to see what he will say to me,
and what answer I am to give to this complaint.

Skala - them's more like citadels than ramparts, yessir...

Sub-editors are my favorite people.

I thought the accepted term was Morton, not Melvin. I'm so confused.

way to go dick wings!


Bible scholar is right: those ramparts are big enough to stand on.


Well, that story is an interesting titbit of British journalism.

Yes Joshkr, that's backwards. It's two shrubs are better than kaka on your hand.

Why does a chicken wear his underwear on his head?

so no one can see his pecker!

"My 15 pound cock's name is Melvin, and he's bigger than all of my frien's cocks. I'm very proud of him." would be a bad pickup line.

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