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October 21, 2004


Cher's farewell tour, which began during the Jimmy Carter administration, has been extended again. At this point, if you're one of the estimated 11 people who have not yet seen Cher bid farewell, your best bet is to just sit in your family room and wait. Sooner or later, Cher will show up.


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Is there any defense? What if I blow up my house? Do you think that might work?

Whats scary is not that she's touring but for her 60th birthday she will pose nude. Between that and Dave leaving, I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep again....

P.S. Booger! We'll miss ya Davey

Please God, if she decides to show up at my house, please let it be any day but her 60th birthday.

Christobol, NOOO!

You can't blow up the castle. I haven't seen it yet!

Maybe you can just take out one of the outbuildings.

I was in a dive bar in Brisbane when a two-headed snake slithered in and announced the end of Cher's farewell tour.
Turns out it was satan, and he says the end of her tour will occur about 3 hours after the end of armageddon.

Or when the Red Sox win the Preakness. Whichever comes first.

Anyone could keep going forever too if they were made out of plastic like Cher.

Hulster, are you sure that what you have is just a doll and not the actual Cher?

Sorry about the terrible grammar, everyone. I think that the baby is starting to steal brain cells now.

Jeez, I was expecting an excited planning session for a bloglit invasion of one of Cher's concerts in the Florida area.
Instead, there's just this eerie silence. What, you guys aren't going? Or are you still on hold with the ticket agency?

*ding dong*

'Honey...it's Cher'

'Oh Jesus...not AGAIN!'

Cher has a ding dong?

I knew it!

It's hard to come up with witty and urbane posts about Cher, the Spankees or two-headed snakes that we haven't already beat to death in previous threads.

----> Witty, urbane post about beating Cher to death with a two-headed snake.

---> Change it to a witty, urbane post about Spanking Cher to death with a two-headed choking snake, and we'll be there.

----> Witty, urbane post about Spanking Cher to death with a two-headed snake that's choking on a hamster.

Tout le bulge!

Personally, I look for Dave to make his first Comeback Tour with Cher by June 2005. Takers?

But, she just wants to 'Cher' with us.
Is that so bad?


Cher and Cher alike.


Cher and Cher alike.


Cher's farewell tour opened in June of 2002, and was initially scheduled to visit fewer than 50 North American cities. She has since played about 250 North America shows.

That is roughly 1 show every 3 1/3 days. And we get Dave only once a week? Something is terribly, terribly wrong in our culture.

No matter how hard I try
You keep trying to hide
And I can't find you
But my tour ain’t thru
It's so sad that I’m leaving
And now even I don’t believe it
But after all the BoSox won
So now we know the world is done

Do you believe that this tour can end?
I’m coming to your house to stay
I’m bringing a chicken coop full of men.
Do you believe that this tour can end?
Think I’ll hang with Dave Barry
Or maybe I should go on tour again

Here’s what I have planned to do
I’ll break in and wait for you
Well now you’d like that
What time you think you’re coming back?
Perhaps in time I’ll move on
I need more surgery to feel strong
'Cause in a little while I will droop
And that might not be good for you

Do you believe that this tour can end?
I’m coming to your house to stay
I’m bringing a chicken coop full of men.
Do you believe that this tour can end?
Think I’ll hang with Dave Barry
Or maybe I should go on tour again

Well I know I could end this tour
And I know that I could end this song
But I don't want to anymore
No I don't want to anymore
No I don't want to anymore
No I don't want to anymore

Did you believe that this tour would end?
I just laugh at you and say
Do you think I’ll quit while they continue to pay?
Did you believe that this tour would end?
There is no frikken way
As long as I can still have my pick of dumb men
Did you believe that this tour would end?
On my next birthday
I’ll be a naked posing geriatric ‘ten’
Did you believe that this tour would end?
Baby not until the day
My plastic heart stops and not even then!

---> Witty, urbane post about Johnny Depp simultaneously spanking Cher and Barry Manilow to death with a two-headed mexican milk snake choking on a diseased hamster eating bon bons, all being watched by an escaped tiger whose winky was cut off by John Cleese.

That was great.

Thanks for Chering.

I dunno, could be worse

I would just like to say that I was at the very FIRST CONCERT EVER on Cher's farewell tour, here in Toronto, ON. Cindy Lauper opened for her. There were both, um, interesting.

And yes, I got my tickets for free and had nothing better to do that night.

The ticket face value was $80-some-odd (CDN) and was sort of mid-level seats. Multiply that (assuming it's average) by a capacity crowd of 12,000, and you've got revenues (from just ticket sales, not including merchandise) of $960,000 (that's about $770,000 US). If that's an average concert take, after 250 tour dates, she's brought in $192,500,000 US. Yeah, I would probably add some extra dates too!

She's rich and ugly, but not stupid.

Just surfed in on blogexplosion. Just had to mention that I am indeed on the extended 'tour list' for Cher, and we bought our tickets. And I'm a dork. ;o)

The way I see it, Cher will complete her Farewell Tour just in time for The Stones to start their Golden Anniversary Tour in 2014. Following that Cher will return with some sort of nostalgia tour.

I think Cher just wanted to make sure Dave's departure didn't overshadow her own.

Christobol: if she does show up at your house, can you blow it up AFTER she's inside?

Although, that's not even a sure thing...

It may not be a sure thing but it will still be better than if she was left to live... right?

Christobol: bravo!

Dave, be grateful that at least she wasn't in Vegas when we were there. I was only afraid the dead Elvis and the dead Rat Pack (Frank, Dean & Sammy) would be followed by Cher.

What am I saying? Then she would have had to be dead first, right? That would be a good thing. Rats, I just didn't think that through in time. Better luck next time.

Christobol, can I reserve the couch for the 8:00 show?

You incredibly lucky people in Brisbane will be able to boast "I was there!"

The rest of us can only hope...

In a totally unrelated somewhat personal question that I would know if I were paying attention: Is Mahatma a male, or a female?

I've been reading his/her name as Mahatma Jane Keeves for, like, months now. I need some clarification.

And I'm too lazy to do the research myself. :)

She's been to my city twice already to say farewell. Good - BYE.

If we could turn back time.... we'd ask cher to stay home altogether. sure, let her find my house, bwaaahaaa.

Angie: he's a he. Check the Yahoo! picture.

Cher has a ding dong?

Not anymore.....he hit a tree while skiing.

Greg: cruel (but yes, I laughed).

Now if she could turn bac time . . .

uh, what if Cher has already swallowed a Koi? (carp) Will she live for 238 years, also?

P.s. I don't care to see that "clear day!"

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