« Previous | Main | Next »

October 22, 2004

CREEPING FASCISM UPDATE II

But being able to fly is so not insulting.

(Thanks to Miriam Kushel)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

and foremost.

Puh-lease. I don't think anybody dresses as a witch, or hangs up witch decorations thinking, "That's a picture of a Wiccan." Wiccans are actual people observing a (trying to be diplomatic here) non-mainstream faith. Witches are folklore monsters. Even children can see that these are not the same thing.
I suppose you can't dress up as Frankestein's monster, since that's a stereotypical image that might offend those genuinely made of sewn-together pieces of dead people.

Please also don't dress up as an unemployed male stripper with a beer habit who spends a lot of time on the computer.

That would bug me.

thanks.

And these people are in charge of educating children?

Geez... I guess my daughter is going to offend all the fairytale princesses around here too.

Speaking as a Pagan/Wiccan/Witch, I have no problem with people dressing as whatever they like. Though I'd prefer to see more political parodies this year than Wicked Witch costumes. Not that that has anything to do with my religion. I just like seeing people dress up like idiot politicians. You know, taking an interest in their country by mocking its leadership.

I'm a good Witch. I bring you love.

*goes back to stirring stereotypical cauldron*

My daughter, too! Kansas will never be the same since she started wearing red slippers with rhinestones on them and looking for her dog, TOTO in southern Minnesota!

My daughter, too! Kansas will never be the same since she started wearing red slippers with rhinestones on them and looking for her dog, TOTO in southern Minnesota!

My daughter, too! Kansas will never be the same since she started wearing red slippers with rhinestones on them and looking for her dog, TOTO in southern Minnesota!

Man, the Lollypop guild is gonna have a field day with this one...

what the heck? Is Booshie Baby still looking for the yellow brick road?

Man, the Lollypop guild is gonna have a field day with this one...

what the heck? Is Boo Baby still looking for the yellow brick road?

If it's worth posting once, it's worth posting twice...

Boo Baby, Kondi, the lioness, Kooli, the tin man, and Ricky, the straw man are singing that immortal song, "We're Off, uh, to sea the Wizzard!! Tra=la!! We're Off, uh, to cee the Wizzard!! We're Off!!!!!!!!!

If it's worth posting twice, it's worth posting thrice...

If it's worth posting thrice, it's worth posting...frice?

If it's worth posting thrice, it's worth posting...frice?

Not too far away from Puyallup is Toppenish, where elementary children cannot celebrate any holidays, have any in class parties, sing, read stories, or have any classroom pets (including fish). That could just be because of an anal retentive principal, but still. Over the top. I guess having fun anymore is such a load of PC that it wastes precious time in the school day. I'm surprised they still have recess.

Is it only the witches who get offended?

How about the guys dressed as nuns in drag with bloody axes?

Last year at our elementary, the most popular little girls costume was a sort of Britney Spears/streetwalker thing.

I found that very offensive. Not because I am Britney or a streetwalker, but because there is just something about dressing a 5yr-old up as a slut that bothers me. Too creepy.

Specially when they do the Bump and Grind during the Halloween parade. Yuck.

Well come one guys. Freedom of religion and freedom from persecution. In the constipation, it clearly states:

We the people of the territory formerly belonging to a bunch of people we don't like, in order to form a less perfect union, do solemly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, till death do us part, and refuse to pass any law or ordinance until all participating members of the council are stone drunk, and shall restrict all forms of action, public, private, privately filmed for public enjoyment, and otherwise, until such time as everything on earth and the greater part of things elsewhere shall be offensive to some sort of minority group, and there SHALL be protesters with their idiot signs marching around in front of a crack media squad consisting of one of the protester's illegitimate child with a sub-par video camera, and this child SHALL damn-well be protected against inflammatory discrimination against her religion, even if said religion happens to be some crackpot underground tree-hugging hippy commune type of religion, instead of the real religions where they come right out and kill you if you don't agree with them.

So feel the love, y'all.

Yeah, they did that at a school here too. I was really annoyed when they took away THANKSGIVING!!! HeLLOO!! This has no religious sembalence (sp?) and they still took it away!

I worship gourds, stuffing, and mashed potatoes, Anne, so now I must kill you. Sorry. Nothing personal.

As a gesture of human kindness, I'll kill you with my Electro-Counterpulsation device.

C-bol - I worship turkeys and cranberry sauce - so I think we have it covered.

I'll be wearing my anti-alien-abduction helmet when we get Anne...

Okay, so long as you kill me with your Elctro-Counterintuitive thingy, it will be okay. But anythign else would offend me and therefore cannot be used!

Oh, and FD... excellent Bill of UnRights or whatever you are calling that.

Add to it "and those who are offended easily SHALL have the majority suffer because they have wussy little feelings and can't handle any sort of fun other than what they deem as fun, even though it be doing nothing at all. And any who are disenfranchised by the said minority shall have no grounds for complaint because they (the hereforementioned 'majority') hae it GOOD dammit and are not oppressed as are the minority by satrical actions taken by the majority."

Oh, and just because I am Catholic, does that mean I can beat the snot out of anyone who makes fun of priests or nuns?

There's a good lesson here. NEVER piss off a witch or a prize fighter.

Yeah, they did that at a school here too. I was really annoyed when they took away THANKSGIVING!!! HeLLOO!! This has no religious sembalence (sp?) and they still took it away!

Actually, it does. Read what happened at the original Thanksgiving and you'll see Who they were "giving thanks" to. Hint: it wasn't the Indians. (I'm not excusing the school's action.)

Yeah, they did that at a school here too. I was really annoyed when they took away THANKSGIVING!!! HeLLOO!! This has no religious sembalence (sp?) and they still took it away!

Actually, it does. Read what happened at the original Thanksgiving and you'll see Who they were "giving thanks" to. Hint: it wasn't the Indians. (I'm not excusing the school's action.)

Yeah, they did that at a school here too. I was really annoyed when they took away THANKSGIVING!!! HeLLOO!! This has no religious sembalence (sp?) and they still took it away!

Actually, it does. Read what happened at the original Thanksgiving and you'll see Who they were "giving thanks" to. Hint: it wasn't the Indians. (I'm not excusing the school's action.)

No Anne, you may not beat the snot out of anyone. You may pray for their poor endangered souls, however.

Though it just might enrage them more than a good beating.

LAW OFFICES OF AQUILAR & GOLDSCHMITT

FRANKENSTEIN: Me not feel respected. Me want to file lawsuit against Halloween.

MUMMY: Me too

DEVIL: Me too

"MAN" IN NIXON MASK: Me too.

AARON GOLDSCHMITT: *gleefully rubbing hands* This looks like a class action! Except you, "Man" In Nixon Mask. I'm afraid you can't sue. You are really a Whale.

I just want it to be known that I HATE POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!!

This sort of stupidity has given us the likes of PETA and the ACLU. Both of those so-called "organizations" have done nothing but caused serious harm to our society, in my opinion. They tend to be more anal than good.

Because of the ACLU I can no longer pray in a public building.

Because of PETA, I can no longer dress in my real-whale-skin suit.

*snarfing down another Big Mac*

"Man" in Nixon Mask: Hey! It's a glandular problem, ok? Plus I've got big bones.

Aaron Goldschmitt: Nevertheless, you are not a party to this suit. However, I would like to talk to you about another case I'm handling: Morbidly Obese Disgustingly Fat and Otherwise Amply Chubby et al vs Tasty Food Proprieters of America.

In the criminal justice system...blah blah blah...Law and Order.

Bailiff: All rise, the honourable Judge Whoobersmitten presiding. Your honour, case 1467582: Puyallup School District versus Janey Marigold. Charges have been brought by PSD upon Ms. Marigold of impersonating a person of another religion or culture to the detriment of political correctness.

Judge: Be seated. Prosecution, opening statement please.

Prosecutor Harry Assendorf: Your honour, ladies and gentlement of the courtroom, today we will witness whether justice in this great nation of ours can be done. Ms. Marigold flagrantly disobeyed the PSD policy that Halloween not be celebrated in the classroom. This policy is in place for the good of all, that none may be offended by the lightheartedness with which we take their religion or other belief systems. What we have here is a serious crime, and to let this pass unpunished would be a serious detriment to the criminal justice system.

That is all.

Judge: Defense, your opening statement.

Defense Lawyer Barry Myhandinit: Your honour, ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom, this case makes a mockery of our justice system. Ms. Marigold was in no way aware of the consequences of her actions, and did not understand the policies of the school district as they were not communicated to her in a full and understandable manner. To convict her of wrongdoing would be the undoing of justice in this great nation of ours, the nation of America, the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Thank you, your honour.

Judge: Prosecution, call your first witness.

Harry Assendorf: Your honour, prosecution calls Ms. Janey Marigold to the stand.

*a gasp runs through the courtroom as Janey proceeds to the witness stand*

Ms. Marigold, state your name and age for the record.

Janey: Are records those things before CD's? My mommy and daddy had those, I think. They're old, though.

H. Assendorf: Janey, do as your told. Tell us your name and age.

Janey: Am I in trouble because I got stitches?

H Assendorf: No, Janey, you are in trouble for impersonating people who have been created by the sewing together of human parts from deceased persons. They have feelings, you know, and your 6-year-old self flagrantly showing your forehead stitches makes a mockery of their feelings and of their religions and political opinions.

Judge: I've heard all I need to hear. Janey, I hereby sentence you to 3 years in a Transylvanian boarding school, with no recess and no juice boxes at lunch.

*pounds gavel*

In the criminal justice system...blah blah blah...Law and Order.

Bailiff: All rise, the honourable Judge Whoobersmitten presiding. Your honour, case 1467582: Puyallup School District versus Janey Marigold. Charges have been brought by PSD upon Ms. Marigold of impersonating a person of another religion or culture to the detriment of political correctness.

Judge: Be seated. Prosecution, opening statement please.

Prosecutor Harry Assendorf: Your honour, ladies and gentlement of the courtroom, today we will witness whether justice in this great nation of ours can be done. Ms. Marigold flagrantly disobeyed the PSD policy that Halloween not be celebrated in the classroom. This policy is in place for the good of all, that none may be offended by the lightheartedness with which we take their religion or other belief systems. What we have here is a serious crime, and to let this pass unpunished would be a serious detriment to the criminal justice system.

That is all.

Judge: Defense, your opening statement.

Defense Lawyer Barry Myhandinit: Your honour, ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom, this case makes a mockery of our justice system. Ms. Marigold was in no way aware of the consequences of her actions, and did not understand the policies of the school district as they were not communicated to her in a full and understandable manner. To convict her of wrongdoing would be the undoing of justice in this great nation of ours, the nation of America, the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Thank you, your honour.

Judge: Prosecution, call your first witness.

Harry Assendorf: Your honour, prosecution calls Ms. Janey Marigold to the stand.

*a gasp runs through the courtroom as Janey proceeds to the witness stand*

Ms. Marigold, state your name and age for the record.

Janey: Are records those things before CD's? My mommy and daddy had those, I think. They're old, though.

H. Assendorf: Janey, do as your told. Tell us your name and age.

Janey: Am I in trouble because I got stitches?

H Assendorf: No, Janey, you are in trouble for impersonating people who have been created by the sewing together of human parts from deceased persons. They have feelings, you know, and your 6-year-old self flagrantly showing your forehead stitches makes a mockery of their feelings and of their religions and political opinions.

Judge: I've heard all I need to hear. Janey, I hereby sentence you to 3 years in a Transylvanian boarding school, with no recess and no juice boxes at lunch.

*pounds gavel*

I swear that I did not hit Post twice, or refresh while it was loading, or anything. After I previewed my comment and hit post, it asked again for my name, etc., so I put that in and hit post. This equals double posting.

HAAARRRRRRYYYYYYYY! Fix the blog!!!!! (Please)

I keep forgetting that because we live in a democracy that it means that the we have to worry about the concerns of one person over the concerns of the majority....HOW STUPID OF ME!

I hate P.C.

Greg, I hate my P.C. too. You meant your computer, right? ;)

Ooh, C-bol, watch out. I am putting on my skimpiest outfit (pretty adng skimpy) and coming for you! Oh, wait, you didn't make fun of priests or nuns? Dang loopholes.

*hangs up stripper schoolgirl outfit*

Maybe some other time...

I haven't got a clue what adng is, but it was supposed to be dang

Well, I hate Greg too. I think we should install XP Service Pack 2 on his sorry ass.

I say this.
I would cuss and scream if they said i couldn't have a halloween celebration in kindergarten.

It was one of my first favorable memories.

A beautiful girl named Cynthia, was wearing a cute little witch outfit.
It was the first and only time she ever touched me.
Without the halloween spirit, i'd have never made a joke about the costume at all.
But we had the party at the end of the day.
And because of that,
I had the first favorable touch from a female in my life.
And maybe my last.
And i was only 4.
Dangit.
My life is a lame story.

Y'know, I'm fairly certain that nobody's made a joke about, or even giggled at, the name "Pu-Y'all'Up."Such negligence cannot go unpunished. I'm contacting Harry Assendorf

Y'know, I'm fairly certain nobody's yet made a joke about, or even giggled at, the name "Pu-Y'all-Up."Such negligence cannot go unpunished. I'm afraid I need to have Harry Assendorf get in touch with you.Hee hee. "Poo-Y'all-Up."

I can't believe this happened near Seattle and not in Berkeley. (And I can't believe no one else mentioned that.)

For Rachel:

Call the Honorable George Stevens.

The Kingfish: I object. I denies the allegation and I denies the allegator.

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise