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September 27, 2004

ATTENTION, MEN WHO WANT TO SMELL LIKE A LUMBERING STUPID OVERPRICED GAS-GUZZLING VEHICLE

Have we got the product for you.

(Thanks to Linda Landy)

Comments

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FIRST!!

Darn - missed.

Darn - missed.

and and let's just hope it's THAT kind of Hummer

That's Mister Man Who Wants to Smell Like a Lumbering Stupid Overpriced Gas-Guzzling Vehicle, to you.

Great - just what those guys need. Do they slap it on then walk out of the house wondering just which will be more irresistable to women...?

Dave, I'm not sure that's the 'hummer' they're promising...

(Who also may or may not have _____-envy issues.

Hummer drivers are wussies

At least now, when I get this as the inevitable Christmas present, I can loudly exclaim "THANKS FOR THE HUMMER!!!"

That's the spirit of the season for you - giving....

DVD player, leather upholstery, tilting dump box and rear-view camera.

Hey, baby, wanna see my tilting dump box and rear-view camera?

Ummm, only if you have leather upholstery, too ...

Well, i already smell like a gas-guzzling vehicle - but that probably has a lot to do with my diet.
Now, praise the heavens, i can smell like an overpriced gas guzzling vehicle! That's gotta be a step up, right? Sure, i gotta smell lumbering and stupid to boot, but you gotta take the good with the bad, eh?

Smells like balding, middle-aged, viagra-induced spirit.

Kokob
I think you mean "Prius Envy". At least I hope that's what you meant.

Higgy! Oh my Gawd.

(blush)

Are you single?

Exotica

As Bill Maher said about this wonderful new product:

"They say the scent is a masculine combination of leather, sandalwood and a bald man's tiny cock."

I can't wait until guys all over the world just cut the crap and drive around in titanium-plated nuclear-powered 18-wheel multi-speed Hello Kitty vibrators. Armed with laser cannons. And they legalize waving your codpiece around in public so everyone knows what a big truck you have. That would be great!

This is actaully for the person in your() life that just doesn't know the words.

Exotica - I'm single for exactly (checks watch) the next 13 days, 4 hours and 20 minutes. After that, I'll be a happily married Higgy....

I dunno but I think Happily Married Higgy WBAGNFARB.

Just Sayin....


*Gets sucked back into the work wormhole*

Ahhhhh!!

This is a joke, right? RIGHT?

I wonder where I can get the female version of Toyota, RAV4 (without the 4 wheel drive)...

new car smell for people - very creative. I'm surprised that Hyundai hasn't come out with this idea, maybe there just isn't the same demand for the scent of velour seats & plastic dashboard.

Will wearers of Hummer now require 2 seats instead of one?

IT'S NOT A LUMBERING STUPID OVERPRICED GAS-GUZZLING VEHICLE!

Makers of car-related cologne products are missing the, er, boat, by not creating personal fragrance necklaces that look — and smell like car air fresheners. Mmmmm, pine.

BTW: Why isn't there an "Old Car Smell" fragrance? Just asking.

I'll wait for the diesel version. More pheromones. Uh-huh.

because old car smell is individual.. for some it's the dirty clothes and old shoes aroma that get them up and revved.. for others it's the decaying baby formula and mouldy cheeseburger smell that says "aahhh.. I've found the right vehicle for me"

In defense of the Hummer (vehicle). I don't know about the wussy civilian version (as I am now an underpaid teacher and they are way out of my price range); but the military version is REALLY fun to drive, and even more fun if you get to stand in the gun turret and fire the grenade launcher! (Retired Air Force Capt)

Flash, I'm waiting until the civilian version comes with the grenade launcher myself.

Why do the female bloglets get to look at male models, and the males get instructions on how TO SMELL LIKE A LUMBERING STUPID OVERPRICED GAS-GUZZLING VEHICLE?

Come on, Dave; let's see some skin (not yours, please)!

Nice visual Flash.

Experience with a grenade launcher help in classroom management? Just thinkin it might.

djtb: Thanks, you too.

I heard that the folks at Subaru thought this was a great idea and are now test marketing a new scent for women ... they're stuck on a name ... apparently "eau de cunnilingus" left a bad taste in the board's mouth.

Check please!!

Nyuk nyuk, P

Punky: It sounds to me like they need to hire a cunning linguist to come up with a new name. Preferably a master of many tongues, not just French.

the grenade launcher version is available in Miami.

Hopefully not a master deabter either.

Prolly cheaper than the last Hummer I bought (and not the GM variety either).

Deon,
The grenade launcher is a bit bulky for classroom work, but I find that the occasional burst from an M-16 or an AK-47 helps keep the chatter to a minimum. Remember, deterrence is the key.

Heck, if I want to smell like a lumbering overpriced gas-guzzling vehicle, I just need to ride in my 1986 Ford F-150 for a bit.

Note: the lack of the word "stupid" is not an oversight. While Bruno may be lumbering and I might have paid too much for that beast, he ain't no stupid vehicle, that's for sure.

And yes, I named my truck Bruno. If you saw him, you'd understand that he's no wussy truck. This is definitely a man's truck. He needs a manly name.

Flash,
I teach part-time at the local community college, here. Half my students are older than me. Trust me, a grenade launcher would be a useful tool in my classrooms.

LOL. sort of an advert for the under-endowed, i think.

A lot of people would've died to get in this car

I've got something vary similar to this. My car smells like a lumbering, stupid, bourbon-guzzling man.

(Did I say that out loud?)

(be sure to read the email questions on previous car posting, some are pretty funny)

I prefer to drive the lumbering, stupid, overpriced, gas-guzzling vehicle, BUT with a bumper sticker that says "Meat is murder!" and to smell (and look) like a pretty, pretty princess.

Throws people off.

Effective bumper sticker:
Save money: bribe the cop, not the judge.

I hear they're working on color-system sucker-dart launchers ...

You know what... as stupid as it may be.. if they ever came out with "Corvette, the sent of speed and fumes" I would buy it. But Hummer... naa

You know if I would of had a small tommy gun when I was doing day care work it would of made my life MUCH easier! Smaller people require smaller guns. Don't want to take one shot and lose them all! I'd be out of a job!

Here in the U.S., putting an ink blot in the wrong spot of a piece of paper once every two years or so gets you into fights. Can you imagine what would happen if we all had grenade launchers?

Ah yes the genitalia challenged!

My wimpy little car key can scratch the crap out of your big tough strong Hummer (SUV/Pick-Up truck) any time!

Especially when you park that piece of crap next to me and I can't get in my car!

If I were creating a scent for Hummer, it would smell like money, and there would be two scents, NEW MONEY, and OLD MONEY........

Zed,
Just a word of warning, make sure the owner of that Hummer/SUV/pick-up doesn't see you, or you might be looking down the barrel of a grenade launcher. I thought one of my lieutenants was going to take his M-16 down and shoot up the entire town of Newbury (Berkshire,UK) after one of the locals keyed his new BMW. On the other hand, you can key my old Nissan pickup all you want, and it wouldn't be noticable along with all the other scratches and dents. (We actually drive our 4-wheel drives off the road here in Utah/Idaho)

Off course, flash, that assumes that you weren't DRIVEN off the road by the other drivers - it's dangerous in Utah.

Flash-
"Utah/Idaho" = Udaho?

Koko,
The only thing scarier than the drivers in Utah are the hunters. That's why I no longer hunt (at least not in Utah)
BB,
Udaho, I love it! I live in Cache Valley, not far from the Idaho border; so I used to be from Idaho, but now I'm from Udaho. Perfect

I thought about buying this for the man in my life, but doubt I could park it in our medicine cabinet.

Idaho? No, Udaho! How much for the Hummer?

Sorry, couldn't resist. No disrespect meant to western Americans (especially the ones with grenade launchers).

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