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September 30, 2004

ATTENTION, FUN-LOVERS WITH REALLY GOOD MEDICAL INSURANCE

Whee.

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I dunno, they're not rocket skates . . .

WHEEEEEE is definitely the word.

Cool! But agree, stopping would be a major concern of mine. NO BRAKES!?

I like that they go 25 miles per hour but there are no brakes! Perhaps a little parachute pack would help...

My medical insurance specifically states, "we do not cover injuries resulting from acts of extreme lunacy, such as Booger dancing and rocket powered rollerblading."

Well, that was more or less a paraphrase.

Anyone looking for British strippers?

Will they install those emergency engine brake/truck stop ramps you see in the mountains along popular roller skate routes?

Imagine the road rash...it would be like grating parmesan cheese.

Yea,

Wheeeee

thump

Wheeeee

thump

Wheeee

Wack!

.... think this ecnalubma is taking me to visit Tina ....

You want rocket skates? Basically we just have to add about 4 Estes rockets in the heels and, baby, you'll be flying in 0.38 seconds ... The brakes are R&D's problem....

Who's not looking for British strippers? Their lap dances are just... classier than those administered by our natives'.

Wait. Hey, these strippers don't even legs, much less a classy accent...

Perhaps if you wore a coat of arms while (not) rocket skating.

...and they include a discount coupon worth 10% on your next Stupidity insurance premium.

These skates remind me of the old joke about rednecks.

When a redneck says, "Hey, Ya'll - Watch this!", it's most likely the last thing he'll ever say.

Didn't the coyote generally use large red rocks to stop his rocket skates...

Oh wait, these AREN'T rocket skates.

Rocket Skates wagnfarb.

Zaph? Would that be with Progressive Casuality Insurance?

Something about that name makes me a concerned consumer .... exactly what is Progressing?

The question is:
Did he go down or UP the stairs?

In high school, my boyfriend at the time used to strap on rollerblades and then tie a rope to the back of my mountain bike and then hold on for dear life while I cruised down hills and around corners ... I'd have to look back every once in a while to make sure I hadn't lost him to a tree or speedbump. It was fun. Stupid, but fun.

Well, thank you Pierre, I'd love a table by the window.

Wow, something for those of us who already have no balance: incentive to either find some or find God the hard way.

Let's see, there's 206 bones in the human body... yeah, I think you could break every single one of them with these....

True fact - I've only broken one bone in my body - and I've broken it twice.....

My skull....

I'm MUCH better now....

Would these lend new meaning to tree hugging?
THUD

Tina ... tie the rope to a car ...

now THAT would have been fun.

Tina, we always wanted to try that. But tar & gravel country roads and a tractor just didn't quite have the same effect .....

Some of us did attach various friends to rear bumpers of cars. During the winter. Road-ice skiing. I think most of them have recovered by now.

When I was four I tied my sister's baby carriage to the bumper of my Dad's truck. Fortunately, my Mom saw it before he left that morning. After she got done with me...well, let's just say I sat down last week for the first time in 26 years...

Well, you heard about the note that showed up at the newspapers after Sonny Bono and the Kennedy kid's skiing incedents?

"ThIS waS NoT aN aCCidENT! sToP lOgGinG - ThE tREes!"

Kids, please don't try this at home. It should not be tried under any circumstances that don't include massive quantities of alcohol and a video camera.
Some of us skipped the inner tube Tina and just tried to upright being dragged (?drug?drugged?) down the street. Especially fun when you hit that patch of salt and did a nose dive into the middle of the road.

Tina - hope I'm not related - I'd hate to think I'd been tied up by a relative. Because then I'd have to move to West Virginia. *shudder*

*SQUEEEEEEEEEAL*

These would be good for the part of the debate where each candidate tries to show he's "hipper" than the other.

Kerry: And so that's how, by bolstering the tan-in-a-can industry, I willl create jobs. Speaking of me being sexy-cool, I went on the Daily Show and played ukelele with a monkey! I didn't see YOU do that, dork face!

Bush: My plan will create jobs by cutting taxes so much that each taxpayer has to hire someone to carry all their extra cash in a wheel barrow. Hell, that'll put us at 700 billion percent employment. And by the way, I ate that monkey, you uh.. cow manure .. person. And I wrote a poem about the friendly tree squirrel, and how to kill it.

Kerry: You couldn't write your own name without a three letter head start. I bet you bombed that monkey before you ate it, didn't you?

Bush: Matter of fact I did. You voted for it.

Kerry: So! I also voted against it. Getting back to my sexy-coolness, I'm going to skateboard in a thong on Good Morning America tomorrow.

Bush: Don't forget your helmet, my little orange sissy. I'll be running you down in gasoline powered roller blades.

Kerry: Who you calling sissy, AWOL boy? You wouldn't have the guts to ride on those skates, even if you could figure out how to put them on.

Bush: You'll see. I'll run you down...then I'll jump a pool full of sharks, and broken glass, and a tiger! Then I'm gonna get me a kiss from Pinky Tuscadero.

Kerry: The hell you will! I'll be on third base with Pinky before you finish pulling tree out of your forehead!

Bush: All right we'll just see. First one to get Pinky in the sack wins.

Kerry: Deal.

s'pposin' that she said that yer lips were like cherries
'r roses 'r berries
What'cha gonna do?
Can'tcha see her heart palpitain' and thumpin'
Hopin' fer somethin'
Somethin' that's from Dave B(ickle).

s'pposin' that she said that yer lips were like cherries
'r roses 'r berries
What'cha gonna do?
Can'tcha see her heart palpitain' and thumpin'
Hopin' fer somethin'
Somethin' that's from Dave B(ickle).

You know what I like about British women? They are just so demure

Christobol, if only... That would be SO MUCH BETTER than what we're actually going to see I may have to adopt elle's drinking man's debate technique.

Punky, you sly fox you, I bet that was a great way to get rid of those guys you were tired of without the usual messy breakups: run them into a tree or the side of a bus.

MKJ - she's pretty cheap, too.

You have got to be really thin to just get daily email from this girl

Will - how about Starlight Express on Rocket Skates? Oh, with Andrew Lloyd Webber tied in the middle of the rink, being bludgeoned by every actor?

OH! SOMEBODY STOP ME!

An e-mail friend for a week!? GIVE ME A BREAK. I have more than that right here in the blog .....

.... or maybe not .....

I vote that we skip the dabate tonight and just give each candidate a pair of motorized skates and let them have a real race. Winner takes all. It would be way more entertaining, and probably just as helpful in choosing our next prez as a debate would be. (We could give purple hearts if either got injured)

I'm having a brain fart. What was that motorized thing you stand on and it wheels down the sidewalk? George Bush fell off of it...and it was recalled. (coincidence??)

Segway!!! That's the name..

Anyway, last year on a hiking/biking trail, I would occasionally see this guy riding on his Segway while everyone was jogging/biking/or rollerblading around him. He wore a helmet and even had a flashing light on a belt on his back so he wouldn't get hit.

Never understood using that on an exercise trail.....

Oh David B(ickle), I love the way your mind works.

*puts on metal helmet* No! I've told you dozens of times, Bangladeshi Gurl, no more lobotomies!

*consults legal dictionary* Wow. It's actually NOT a crime. Funny that - you'd think it would be...

Did anyone else get the pop-up ad at the top that asked, "So what will you do with your second life?" Coincidence? I think not...

Guin - thanks for pointing that out.I was thinking the same thing and As soon as I read that article I couldn't get the road-runner theme song out of my head.

"Road runner, if he catches you, you're through. Road runner , if he catches you, your through!!!"

Nice ear worm to have, eh? beep beep.

I'd go for the Starlight Express idea, Dave B(ickle). Something possessed me years ago to get a student ticket. I still want my ten quid back. With interest.

Just wait, Miriam and J in NZ - someday Webber will die, and he'll go to the afterworld of choice - and Puccini's going to beat the boogers out of him for stealing his best stuff. Sigh....

Rednecks can be found all over this country. When I used to live in Missoula, MT, our particular brand of fun consisted of...

Ingredients:
1 four-wheeler
1 snowboard
1 pair of boots (rain boots, snow boots, doesn't matter)
1 roll duct tape (to hold previously mentioned boots to board because bindings are broken)
4 drunk friends

Optional ingredients:
Traffic (for that extra kick!)

Mix well, add snow, and notify the local hospital to be on standby.

When I was a kid we used to ride our bikes down a huge hill in our neighborhood. At the bottom we'd built a jump out of several bricks and some partical board.

That was fun until we tried to go over the jump in the ol' Red Flyer. When the dust settled we looked like the war wounded...bodies spayed out all over the place. (I think there were 6 of us that tried to squeeze into the wagon...some of us standing up)

Polly...That must have been some accident, I mean, to have resulted in spaying all the bodies. How do you explain that to a potential mate? "I can't have children...there was this horrific Red Flyer accident."

LOL, Miriam

Red Flyer Accident wbagnfarb.

Bloggetes in their (not they're) natural habitat. It's a mildly terrifying thing.

Aw, man. Never said I could spell. Although I like the spaying version better...

Dave Strong. Like Bull. In Third Person.

So, er - how 'bout them rocket skates?

That's a big Red Flyer, Polly. Or either small children.

Forsooth and verily, ye codwallops. Yea, I have distressed my idioms, ARRRRRRRRR

David B(ickle)...don't go trying to change the subject on us.

*tosses some silk scarves around to the bloglits*

I think these will work nicely, girls.

Et tu, Miriam?!? *Runs under the couch*

Er- Hi, Tina. Fancy meeting you here....*gulp*

Watch out for the dust bunny - he's got big, pointy teeth!

"Will - how about Starlight Express on Rocket Skates? Oh, with Andrew Lloyd Webber tied in the middle of the rink, being bludgeoned by every actor?"

Dave B(ickle): great idea! That was one of the worst travesties of a show I've ever sat through. Singing, dancing, roller skating locomotives! I mean, is this happening or is it the hash? (And J in NZ: I paid a lot more than ten pounds, too.)

Dave (B), I believe I warned you yesterday to stick to the middle of the room and whistle nonchalantly. There's no hope for you now.

*shakes head*

*tips over couch to help out Bangi as she wanders off*

Bangi, nice poems, btw

Well don't I feel asinine....

Polly,
Red Flyer+Big Hill+Board+Bricks=Spay??
Cool, I've got some cats that are going for a ride!

Aw shucks....I've always been told I had the perfect butt for radio...

Night Bangi!

And I, too, must leave the party. Gotta go home and get ready to chuck rotten fruit at my TV

But more importantly, don't BE the bunny.

Methinks that Bangi_Bard would be appropriate

OOOOooooo...GOOD one, Miriam! I think you're my new hero!

Musical Theatre Grrl to the rescue! (but not until you've been good and tied up!)

Well, make a decision here - do you want me to be good or tied up? Sheesh....

We'll only tie you up IF you've been good.

Hey Tina,

How is the face? And of lesser importance (but still rating an "8" on a scale of 1 to 10) . . .

When do we get the next installment of S. Hospital?

Thumbkin's indightment? Brutus' session in the cell with "Muffy the man-hater"? Mrs. Thumbkin's multi-million dollar lawsuit?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Hmm.

Might want to invest in some cosmetic injuries for future days when you need some extra slack at work. Hmmmm. Wonder if that would work for me.

Oh, folks "S" stands for "Silly" in S. Hospital.

Maybe this is totally against blog rules and stuff, but, um, how do I get to the MOAT?

soooo many threads... so little time

elle ...

Oops.

Too funny.

I don't understand MOAT either. I think they think it's funny i don't know.

Alright folks. Move along. Nothing to see here...

*takes the drink out of elle's hand*

Have some bread, sweetie.

about the original post:


XANADUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo.................

*tour guide waves bloglits on*

And we're walking ...

We're walking ...

elle Have you been having a little warmup for the debate? Halliburton, WMD, Halliburton, WMD, Halliburton, WMD

I'm holding out for the hoverboards as seen in Back to the Future 2. When was that supposed to be? 2015? *sigh*

The Sen of nose-picking WBAGNFARB

er, make that Zen

I'm with you on that one Mike.

Hey Rita, what do you think. If they put you in charge of drink distribution would this work at your school?

You know my teachers in High School should have done that, we might have learned more.

Hi everybody. missed you all. i was out of town at a work conference.........so i gots a lot of catching up to do. this is me on the sk8ts. wheeeeeeeecrashbangfalldown. later, while i do some netreading...

The ACME corporation has another revelation...

8>

Have some buddies in a band named Kickball Casualities. Make a great twin bill with Red Flyer Accident...

I was posting my discomfort about the debates and I was summarily dumped. It's such a shame because I was bashing the W's responses to the debates..............He's such a moro

All I can say is that this is a Darwin Award waiting to happen.

Car!

Yhoooo! HERE!

CAR!

Booger!

{{HUGS Fellow Bloglits}}

Missed you!!

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