« Previous | Main | Next »

September 29, 2004

ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS DANCE, DANCE

(Thanks to James Bellinger)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

First!

Dude, that booger mask has extra nostrils or sumpin'.

FIRST! Wahooooo!

Damn. So much for THAT little spark of joy in my life...

Sorry Dave...

*goes off to stand in the corner for a while*

Booger! Woo!

*runs giggling from penis gourd*

The Booger Dance? Is that what your friend does when you pick your nose and try to rub it on his shirt?

Hey who let that writer into the MOAT after dark. I thought we weren't going public with our BOOGERS people!!!!

That's snot funny.

Hey, I know(s) funny, and that's funny

punky - with friends like that who needs tissues

You can pick your (not you're) nose and you can pick your (not you're ) friends; but you can't pick your (not you're) friend's nose. Actually, you can pick your (not you're) friend's nose, but you can't wipe your (not you're) friends on the couch.

Atleast it's not Dance Magic Dance. ::shudders::

BOOGER!!! AAAAAA!!!

*dancing badly like a westerner trying to be eastern, or talented*

"Ooga-booga Ooga-booguer Ooga-boujoulais"

*drinks swig o' wine, breaks into chant/dance again*

Hey, it's not dirty unless you make it dirty.

- Spoken by a certain Blog Presidentelle

As the chief Booger posts a blog, the Booger tribe becomes antsy and excited. "Is it him?" they ask. "Does he bring the sacred blog of nonsense from the mythical land of Miami?" The whispers quickly turn to joyous shouts, as cries of "first" ring out across the dusky web, and another ceremony begins. Many have come to participate in this sacred time-wasting ritual, blogging at a feverish pitch, basking in the humorous essence of their combined lunacy. Yet, many blurk in the corners, afraid of being overtaken by the wild Dance of the MOATers. The Booger known as Christobol arises and casts the first coffee-spewing post into the mist, and the ceremony reaches a feverish pitch. Many a Booger and Blurker alike sacrifice keyboards and monitors to appease the Great Funnybone. The goddess Boogers slink around the blog, with their witticisms, puns and ramparts flying merrily in the office air. Many more build off of the previous posts, quickly losing sight of the mundane ideals of "original topics," favoring a sort of tribal reinvention of meaning and slipping into a TPS report-induced state of hallucination. The dance slowly calms itself, as the crescendo of time-wasting slowly ebbs. The Boogers briefly return to a normal state of consciousness, eagerly awaiting the next... the most revered ... Booger Dance.
And some screwball always says, "Neener."

Fed Duck! Your wry prose matches the wit of C'bol's silky poetry.

You know you've both handily turned me from blurker to booger. Be wary of the unfurling of my ramparts at any opportune chance...

((.)(.))

Oooh, a 2 gun salute!!

Bravisimo, Fed!
---

"Mommy! I'm the school play!"
"That's great, honey! What's it called?"
"Booger Dance!"
"I didn't know Dave Barry wrote plays, too."
"I get to dance!"
"Are you a booger?"
"Yep!"
"How many boogers are there?"
"Seven! I'm 'Big Testicles'!"
"What?"
"I know, I tried out for 'Sweet Phallus' but everyone pretty much voted for Dick Honeyman to get that part. Wanna see my dance?"
"I... you... what sort of costume will you wear?"
"I dunno, I guess a large brown hairy sack, who cares? Wanna see my dance?"

For the flashing of Ramparts, does Targetgirl get Booger Beads?

Heh...heh...heh...ramparts...heh...heh

HAHAHA .. terrible.

There's a place in France
Where the big testicles dance
And the dance they do
Always hypnotizes you
And while you're in a trance
They might poke with their lance
But if you've had a few
Then you might enjoy it, too
Booger

BOOGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHat the hell does "brain-tanned deer skin" mean? I've never seen brain-tanned anything, before.

Is that GOURD NEWS to you too?

just enough?

Hence the witty but rarely used retort: "You ain't got enough brains to tan the hide I'm not going to bother peeling off you after I thump you with this here big rock, asshat."

Course, it's also a bit on the wordy side, which why a simple "asshat" will usually suffice, for most people, but not me, since I'm a traditionalist, and gramps always said "say the whole insult and carry a big rock."

my grams says things like "popped his head off like a rattlesnake's."

After the boogers make their entrance, they move clumsily about, lurching at the spectators, groping for the women and girls, chasing them across the room. The girls giggle at being chased. A few of the boogers fall to the floor pretending to be stricken by convulsive seizures. Some of them wear gourds between their legs, occasionally thrusting them towards the women and releasing the water held within. Soon the boogers settle down and take seats against the wall.

Once they are against the wall, are the guests allowed to shoot them?

So you tan hide with brains? I thought tanned hide with hide tanning stuff?

After my heinous mispost last time:

Run for your lives! The boogers are coming! We are all going to be offed by boogers!! AHHHH!

On the plus side, it would be a good Halloween theme- The Masked Boogers Ride Again!

Mah Paw always tole me he wuz gon' tan mah hide; now ah know I's about tah git kilt.

**editor's note: If you can read the preceding sentence quickly and clearly, then you are from the south. If it makes more sense than this editor's note, you are a redneck. If you're trying to get the playboy channel by pressing the contrast knob on the monitor, you are a hillbilly. If you are licking dried coffee off of the monitor, you are a dog. Thank you.**

Well, these boogers evidently have more than enough capers... I think they like to caper around to serve themselves, but I am not sure that they HAVE brains, so thaey can't be sauteed.

Duck, you forgot the Neener.

Sooty Anus and Sweet Phallus
BOTH
wbagnfarb

No elle, its not just you, I want to see the big testicles dance too, along with the Rusty Anus dance. How does it get rusty? And what do you have to do to fix that?


No, no, no wait, I don't want to know that answer.

I was expecting to learn something new, today. But I was expecting it to be more along the lines of something to do with the room remodeling project I'm doing in my home. Not dealing with tanning someone's hide with their (not they're) brains. That's just gross. I'm going to have to think twice about buying that leather jacket I've had my eye on...

Will someone please tell me what's up with correcting themselves when they type something like their (not they're)? I did it because it seems to be the norm around here. But I think I missed why it was done in the first place.

It's kind of distracting, you know? Takes the punch out of the joke.

Brain Tanning WBAGNFARB!

Mad & Punky, should we practice this and perform it in front of Dave in Vegas? How far do you think we'd get before they get the nets & strait jackets?

SchadeBoy- - it's from Ask Mister Language Person

Dang elle,

Such a game might actually make the Debate interesting! Only perhaps the viewers should be divided into teams...one sips when Kerry pushes a button and one sips when Bush does.

The most sober by the end tells you who "won" the debate (or if you are jaded, the sober indicate the loser)

Someone explain the yellow bracelet to me.

Fed Duck, damn you've been funny lately. Which pills you been takin'?, or have you stopped taking any at all?

I bet they wear clogs to dance in..Clogging comes naturally to Boogers.....

"Among the gifts are tobacco, a buckskin for moccasins, an iron knife, various pins, buttons, and other personal adornments....and a jar of Vick's Vapo-Rub."

Oh Sean. Now you've gone and made me hurt myself!

"Folks, can we be just a little more discrete when we pick our boogers?"

It appears the editor of the Chatooga Quarterly doesn't know the difference between discreet and discrete.

crash...the yellow "LiveSTRONG" bracelet is a cancer fund raising project supported by Lance Armstrong.

Fed, I've been loving your posts. Having southern roots, I'm especially loving your editors note.

It's caused me to quit licking coffee off my computer monitor after a spewing episode.

Fed, I read that sentence far too easily. I was really embarrassed at myself when I read the disclaimer.

By the way, did you know that leather can also be tanned with urine?

I learn so much useless stuff on this blog!!

Me too, isn't it great?

Thank you slyeyes.

did anyone else notice that the article was written by a guy name E.Orr... well Eric Orr, but E.Orr makes him sound like more of an ass if you say it out loud..

oh... and "Tanned Brains" WBAGNFACalifornianRB

wasn't Orr the tent-mate in Catch-22? weird i thought of that.

Cherokee Nation will return, Will Return, WILL RETURN!
and are not a people of mystery.

Am I the only one who caught a whiff of satire in that story?

Oh, what the heck...

BOOGER!

will return, WILL RETURN

i thought you're (not you're) was from the warning on posts that might make your mom think you are or are not gay? Is it also from mr language person. Have I been blogging so much I cant remember the origin of jokes?

Fed - I could read that no problem. Sigh I miss the south. Like slyeyes I pick up my accent when aroung other southerners.

Jeff - umm I doubt anyone in Vegas would even notice. As long as I don't have to pick a Yankee nose it is ok with me.

Here's the random ramparts auction of the morning for y'all (time for coffee)

Here's the random ramparts auction of the morning for y'all (time for coffee)

Well just go ahead and look at them twice then!

Well just go ahead and look at them twice then!

You can get rid of Rusty Anus with WD-40. Fixing Sooty Anus takes a fire extinguisher and a bottle of "Goof-Off." Thank God there is no cure for big testicles, though some have tried a herd of strippers and a machete. Oh well, I'm off to elle's to dance.

Dunno, blinding white-light headed girlfriends are rare finds now a'days.

Suppose that would justify my continued wearing of sunglasses to bed.

Oh, and did I say nice profile?

NICE PROFILE

Okay - I'm a long term blurker, first time blogger - and I'll admit I have been swimming in the MOATarita's tonight. But I wanted to say, that I've watched two music video's tonight - first Michael Jackson, Thriller... I have to say that was the very first time we (kiwi's in general - my fourth form class in particular) thought he might be a bit iffy, after that he just kept proving himself. Not to say some of us don't enjoy his later music, but those of us not in denial are like - yeah, I'm sure I saw that coming. And the other clip was Don Henley's (You Rock) New York Minute, which I remember playing quite a lot post 0901. The heart breaking aspect of the clip - that which means that your friends and mine can actually die in a New York minute , whereas in actual fact more 'John Does', or worse - people who's names can be found - are found on the streets of NY every day. I'm am in no way trying to sideline what has happened to people that you and I care about - but I do want to say that what is one person's trash is another's treasure.... your John Doe is my uncle Dave. And in conclusion - I'm so sorry, I didn't intend it to start out like this - but for god's sake how much would you pay to save my Uncle Dave.... okay, now how much would you pay to save your mum???

Signed someone who believes everyone older than her should out live her - AND DAVE, CHANGE YOUR SHIRT

Okay - I'm a long term blurker, first time blogger - and I'll admit I have been swimming in the MOATarita's tonight. But I wanted to say, that I've watched two music video's tonight - first Michael Jackson, Thriller... I have to say that was the very first time we (kiwi's in general - my fourth form class in particular) thought he might be a bit iffy, after that he just kept proving himself. Not to say some of us don't enjoy his later music, but those of us not in denial are like - yeah, I'm sure I saw that coming. And the other clip was Don Henley's (You Rock) New York Minute, which I remember playing quite a lot post 0901. The heart breaking aspect of the clip - that which means that your friends and mine can actually die in a New York minute , whereas in actual fact more 'John Does', or worse - people who's names can be found - are found on the streets of NY every day. I'm am in no way trying to sideline what has happened to people that you and I care about - but I do want to say that what is one person's trash is another's treasure.... your John Doe is my uncle Dave. And in conclusion - I'm so sorry, I didn't intend it to start out like this - but for god's sake how much would you pay to save my Uncle Dave.... okay, now how much would you pay to save your mum???

Signed someone who believes everyone older than her should out live her - AND DAVE, CHANGE YOUR SHIRT

butter - I'm so sorry.

I had a feeling I was going to be a double poster....

*looks at double post*

"Hey folks! We got another Kiwi over here!"

Now just relax and enjoy the blog. This isn't going to hurt, much. Welcome from blurkdom to blogger. The change in status suits you well.

So is that tank supposed to distract you from armpit hair?

From the rampart auction: I offer combined shipping!

I mean, really, what does anyone do with just ONE rampart in the mail.

Brian B.
Should I find any hidden meaning in the fact that the following text was at the bottom.

If you like this title, we also recommend...
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)

Maybe if it had be Lord of the Schwing ...

Rita and Bangee, Jean Auel is working on book #6- I can't wait to read it!

And, urine is best used to tan leather only when you want white leather, and only after the urine has fermented for a few days. But you knew that, the Crane Hearth taught you well.


BOOGER!!!!!

Credited cast:

Balsac The Jaws Of Death
Beefcake The Mighty
Flattus Maximus
Gusher Jizmax
Oderus Urungus
Sexecutioner
Slymenstra Hymen
Sleazy P. Martini

EXCELLENT

Long time blurker, occasional blogger...

Had to weigh in on the Jean Auel conversation. I waited 10 years for her to write the fifth book (Shelters of Stone) and then it turned out to be just a big re-cap of the first four. I was really disappointed. If it takes her another 10 years to finish the 6th book it better be worth my time or I'm hosting an Earth's Children bonfire and weenie roast!

Edelweiss, I was just reading your post from June regarding the time being off on the blog clock. Was wondering if you were still around. HI!

Yeah, well, so what, I've been a long time blurker and only two times have I had the courage to blog and nobody ever acknowledged me, or welcomed me, so BOOGER!

I feel so left out..

Bangi, the first one was really good. It was the best of the series in my opinion, but the second, third, and fourth were also good. The problem with the 5th was that she wrote it so that someone who hadn't read the previous 4 could understand what was going on...so at least half of the book was a refresher course and another quarter of it was introductions to new characters, leaving only about a quarter of it for the plot.

Klynn, consider yourself acknowledged! Now, pass the liquor, please!

Someone after my own heart! Here ya (not you) go! Bottoms up!

Do! I! sound! excited!

Sorry, I'll take my meds now and calm down.

Klynn: what djtony said. Welcome! (happy now?)

I would like to thank Edelweiss, Jeff Meyerson, djtonyb, my parents, my boss (for keeping his door closed so I can play on the blog)....

Ha, I must admit, the ONLY reason I read those books was for the "pleasures". After a while tho, even that got boring.

Rita, my mother was a huge Auel fan too. She got very annoyed waiting 10 years for the newest one.

elle ... I can totally picture you doing that.

Too funny.

Ok shawna you busted me on the discreet thing. And Kat, I am an ass. I do know, however, you cannot tain a hide with urine. It just makes it smell bad.

Get your finger out of my nose.

Eorr: Well, technically you're right. You can't tan a hide with urine. But you can bleach and preserve it with urine. The trick is to let the urine go stale so that it becomes pure amonia before you work the leather with it.

Making the text color red

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise