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August 08, 2004


Clash of the Cockle Pickers

(Thanks to Ruby Stambaugh)


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Wow, that might as well have been written in another language.

it was.. Scottish

No wonder: I don't know Scottish.

wow. when did this become a serious problem? what the hell is a cockle? is it like the cockles of your heart? it must be a great job if there is so much strife, right? why am i asking you all?

If its not Scotish its crap

He's a good question: How many cockles, could a cockle picker pick, if a cockle picker, could pick cockles????

cockles are these shell thingies...i think.they're also found on some places in new zealand [discovery channel]

cockless is a man with cockle sized...courage.

spockless is a spaceship minus an imp crew member

OK, someone tell me what a "tractor" is in Scotland. Does it float, and if not, how did the cockle pickers end up in the water? Totally confused in SoCal...

. . .but you can't pick your relatives.

I've been to Morecombe and believe me, it was probably suicide. On the way out of the place my friend -- British, by the way -- pretended to call in a tactical nuclear strike. Only pretended because he didn't have the ability to really do it.

Cockles are bivalve molluscs. They make soups and pies out of them.

I've never understood the Old English saying, "It warms the cockles of my heart." Cockle shells are well, sort of vaguely heart-shaped, I guess, but even that wouldn't make much sense. Sort of like saying "That really tingles the waterbugs in my brain."

"...crying cockles and mussels alive alive ohhhhh.... LOOK OUT!" [Crash]

Let's... get... ready... toooo... R-U-M-B-L-E !!

Oh and Brad, the tractors are just tractors, as you think of them. They pull trawlers across the sands at low tide to dredge up the cockles. Since they were stranded more than four miles out, though, and the tides were returning, they could have found themselves treading in ice-cold water.

Holy cr@p Gregg!! Now that is something I never would hve guessed about the tractors. In fact, I'd never have guessed that about the tides. And the really funny part about it is that my favorite vacation story to tell is flying into Anchorage at low tide. I know how this stuff works in the northern latitudes.

LOL!! Thanks for splaining it.

Of course "Scottish Cockle Pickers" WBAGNFARB

It’s not quite a cockle-picking limerick but it will cockle-picking have to do:

Scottish cockle pickers picking cockles on the flats
And Chinese cockle pickers soon cooked up a spat
In copters and in hovercraft the rescuers they flew
To save the cockle pickers – yes they came in lifeboats too
But the top cop of Cumbria smelled a cockle picking rat

Oh God(s),I'm going to mitterate in my shorts!
NO MAS !!!

Cockle picker turf war.... well I guess you learn something new every day.

doesn't a turf war require grass?

Yes, sj, turf wars require grass. What sport doesn't require grass?

Duh, we Americans can be sooo stoopid.
In other places, where there isn't enough land, they have
SURF Wars.

Here's a cockle. And if you act now, you can get this real CARDIIDAE Nemocardium beechei Reeve with PERIOSTRACUM for a bargain price!

Ahhh, welcome back MKJ! Nice to have the eBay items showing back up. Jeff tried to fill in while you were gone, but no-one can fill your shoes (figuratively speaking)

Higgy has welcomed back M K J
Who posts clever things found on e-Bay
But the real news;
M auctioned his shoes
Higgy bought them and is walking away

Welcome back Mahatma!!! We missed you!

djtonyb: Yes, but I ate and/or drank all of them. Well except the books.

*What sport doesn't require grass?*

HMMM, how about Hockey?

MKJ's back! Woohoo!
And not a moment too spare, now that Dave's gone overseas to Greece.
Hope he makes it in at low tide ... otherwise, he could be shell shucked.

Is bowling a sport? That would count.

As would ping-pong or basketball.

Or the high jump, pole vault, NASCAR, shuffleboard, archery, tennis (I know - sometimes), racquetball...

...skiiing, curling, swimming, diving - or have you mean a different kind of grass all along?

Tennis has grass, ping pong has none.

Both games are the same except with tennis you get on the table to play.

With hockey, you could have dueling Zambonis.

EVERYone knows the ONLY TRUE SPORT is Football (soccer has nothing to do with it.)

Nah, too much inaction in football for me. Four hours of Super Bowl, and if you edit out everything but the actual plays, it adds up to about 20 minutes. Baseball is even worse -- about 9 minutes of actual play.

Hockey blows them away with a much better real-time-to-actual-action ratio. (And no, I'm not talking about fighting, which is actually relatively rare these days in pro hockey -- the "
"goons" of yesteryear don't really exist anymore -- and virtually non-existent in college hockey.) It's also the sport that I think takes the most skill. You try accurately shooting a little piece of rubber into a net, using an actually pretty heavy curved stick, while travelling 25 mph on skates, while the people around you are actively trying to knock you off of said skates. :-)

Apparently, some of us have radically different conceptions of the word "grass."

Oh I'm not a cockle picker, I'm a cockle picker's son,
and I'm sick o' suckin' cockles while the cockle pickin's done!

I'm no good at pickin' cockles, I jus' do it for me Dad,
Me Mama caught me at it, an' she said that I were bad.
They stuck me in the tractor, but they wouldna' let me steer,
so instead o' suckin' cockles, I'm jus' chuggin' all their beer!

Andy P - made me laugh. :)

Cockle picker tractor carrier drivers playing chicken is what this is all about.

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