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August 31, 2004

THANKS FOR THE MONKEY MOAT, ELLE

It'll look great over the couch.

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elle: LOL

oh... motel....DOH!

Girl, you know it's true...

Well, OK, slyeyes, but I was only referring to myself. I came in 3rd on that darn count! You can understand Joshkr being first because he's the blog whore and can't keep his pants on no matter what else is or is not going on. You were having a lot of trouble with double posts - for a while there every post you made doubled up (I think it was your lousy Dell). But in any case, I clearly can't stick to my own resolutions anyway so I'm just going to carry on posting however the muse strikes me.

Fed Duck,

In my view, there is only one way to successfully put an end to the quest for a screen name that is at once incisive and all-around ridiculous. Contact one Doug Brockmeier - if he's not busy picking staple bits out of his head, he'll hook you up, complete with free anagrams and everything.

You're welcome. Neener = 'n Renee

Peri...love to hear from ya!!

But, now I've got to get back to work.

Booger

Neenerpus?

Hey, elle, how was Manhattan? I guess you didn't hunt down Dave or you would have mentioned that.

Kia Ora Kat

susan - I am thinking of something great for you to record for josh and will email you later. Don't worry I won't forget.

Slowlayne - Your mother is coming to ride out the storm. Maybe you could strap her to the lawn furniture before you throw it into the pool? Or save time and just put your mom directly into the pool. Tell her a pulitzer prize winner told you it was the thing to do.

HOLY MONKEY GOO, BATMAN!

This just in:

Another reason for everyone to quit smoking.(sorry for typing that WORD)

A co-workers house just burned down last night. All the way to the foundation down. The cause of the fire; (So he says)Wife fell asleep with a lit cigarette.

End of Bulletin.

We now return me back to trying to get some work done.

Personally, I kind of like Federal Duck as a name. It's one of those that only true DB fans would know the meaning of.

Kind of like Armonk.

Mad - Mom's not that bad. Besides, it's hard enough fishing the furniture out of the pool without a body lashed to it.

Good lord, we're gonna be moving out of here by Saturday. And I haven't even finished unpacking yet. You people are crazed. (this is a good thing)

Is there a brief summary I could read?

Milli Vanilli? (he asks in shuddering horror) What kind of (shudder again) station would do that? Sorry, I need a drink to get that taste out of my mouth and the thought out of my head. What next, Vanilla Ice? Debbie Boone?

What do Florida residents do if they don't have any lawn furniture to throw in their pool? Quick run out and buy some before the storm hits? But what if they have no pool? 'Tis a puzzlement.

*wonders what Joshkr did to bring the server at work to a halt*
*monkeys in the works?*
*too many thongs clogging the gears?*
*moatarita mix in the hard drive?*

Another puzzlement, but we're not buying that hands-behind-the-back-whistling-as-he-walks-past-and-glances-casually-to-see-what-the-problem-could-possibly-be-act, nosireebob.

A more complete brief summary: moataritas, joshkr naked, monkey spanking, Billy the head, boogers.

Isn't Millie Vanilli some strange Japanese ice cream flavor?

Right, don't you love the way Billy the Head just came and went (so to speak), no big deal, just becoming part of the beautiful mosaic (so to speak, again). You guys are the best!

FLASH: God strikes down a churchboat, but the skies over the "abortions R us" barge remain sunny and warm. Tell THAT to the next person who knocks on your door preaching the apocalypse.

I wondered where all these mon..

*gets tackled by spastic simian*

Oof!

Jeff ... this is for you:

So many nights I sit by my window
Waiting for someone to sing me his song
So many dreams I kept deep inside me
Alone in the dark but now
You've come along

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song

Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water
Could it be finally I'm turning for home?
Finally, a chance to say hey,
I love You
Never again to be all alone

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song

It can't be wrong
When it feels so right
'Cause You
You light up my life

Leetie - I refuse to make any "baptism by fire" jokes.

Punky Boone,

Eew, eew, eew. That was just mean.

*smacks Jeff Meyerson's hand for stretching the margins (in Mozilla but not IE-- go figure?)*

Hey! Who got butter all over my magic marker?

Joshkr=MOAT toy.

Leetie - I followed your link and was confronted by :

ELLE'S PANTIES

Wooohooo - you go, elle!

Higgy - I followed your link and was confronted by:

A SNOOKER WITHOUT HIS TROUSERS

Whatever that means.

hmmmmmm .... Billy and the Headless Boys... WBAGNFApunkRB.. or maybe a Goth band... and once i refresh this I'll read what I've missed while reading.. thats the one benefit of posting while everyone else is asleep...

Joshkr, you managed to double the number of posts of anyone else by posting twice as many times.

Hope that helps.

What's wrong with Federal Duck, anyway?

Midget- comment retracted. I rather enjoy having all my extremities intact.

*holding lighter aloft and swaying back and forth to Punky Boone's song . . . which looks awfully damn wierd in the office in the middle of the afternoon.*

That server back up yet, Joshkr?

Leetie - great link.

Cox's last words before the explosion:
"And if that's not the absolute truth, may God strike me dead"

God: "Shucks, missed!"

*breathlessly*
Josh, is it true you write songs for Britney?

My gosh, leave for a few hours and it takes nearly that long to catch up.

Curse you, MOAT usage statistics!

Now I will be tempted to put just one idea in every post, instead of combining them.

This is in order to bloat my stats.

Bangi - you're in dangerous waters there. Might be best for just the two of you to get together, hang out - maybe show her all the Upoma Loves Shoeab signs, etc. etc. - let her know that you've got someone and aren't after her man...

Here endeth the soft cuddly side of Higgy....

If everyone did this, we'd be up to 5000 by Patriot Day!

Which is the name given to September 11 by my wall calendar.

I dunno Bangi, maybe Buttering her (ass) up, would be a good way to start.

OK, I am done with this, for now.

Bangi,

A little girl on girl action always seems to lessen the tension.

Where, oh, where are the MOAT statistics???

I wanna play!

Bangi ... a girl is either going to be jealous or she's not ... there isn't much you can do about it. Just be yourself and let her fight it out with her own insecurities.

And Bangi, If that doesn't work, then I'd have to say. What the he%# is class 8?

I wouldn't let her catch you hiding naked in the bushes though, that probably wouldn't go over well, unless of course you brought Butter.

haha - you said butter

Leetie, my margins aren't stretched. Wasn't me!

Thanks, I guess, to Ms. Boone, for that reminder. Now I'm thinking of Pat in his heavy metal gear. I'm definitely not drinking enough.

(smiles, thinking of Elle Macpherson Intimates. Smacks himself on head to snap out of it. Bad Higgy)

Leetie, that Aussie site has some of my favorites on it, like the aforementioned 'Sex-mad chimp' takes up smoking. The New York Post couldn't do any better!

" I was wearing coveralls and steel toe boots. I didn't want to go back the office to change so I got on the bus in those cloths and also smelling stongly of WD-40. Apparently, this is a very attractive look to a certain type of guy."

(drifts off into reverie again) Works for me, Peri.

"Question: If ur best friend from class 8 was a guy, and his new gf was the jealous type,what would be the best way to maker her feel comfy?"

Bangi, if Christobol was here he'd probably recommend leaving Billy the Head in her locker. (But that would be wrong, right?)

Well, Let's just see, shall we Joshkr?

Here. *hands Joshkr Beer Bong*

Just hold this hose up to your mouth, oh and this one too. And I'll start pouring beers into the funnel.

Ok ready? (I'm not really sure this proves anything about having a big mouth or being a newbie, but we do it in the name of Science, so that's gotta count for something, and it's also alot of fun)

I think Joshkr needs some Cheers from the Moat. *Ahem*

At least Joshkr has got a legitimate reason to strip this time.

Hey no fair doing science experiments on Joshy with out me.

Like NOT having a legitabate reason ever stops him.

Point made. Now where did I leave that butter?

That would be legitamate. Don't know about legitabate.

It's time to break out the keg-stands! We're almost to the 3 day mark and that's a perfectly legitimate reason to get snockered.

and even though I read all the posts I missed the reason Josh is naked. Oh yeah to determine if he is a bigmouth newbie. Well I can vouch for the big mouth part...a wonderful big mouth, but in my humble opinion Josh is not new he is well broken in ladies.

Joshy - it is to remind you of the Y you need to add to the word babe...

*would like to lick butter from slowlaynes magic marker.

Did I jsut say that out loud?

Ok I better go contain myself in the biosafety lab

*Hands SlowLayne the "Butter"*

There. Hey, Slowlayne hows about a new MonkeyMoat Limerick?

And Mad. Here you can hold this hose.

thanks, I know Josh really appreciates it and besides that your hands feel great. They help steady me.

Now are you ready Joskr?

If I had known that compiling MOAT posting stats would cause so much trouble, I never would have done it!

legitabate = when jail bait turns 18.

Oops. I had a typo in my last post. It should say: I would have done it a long time ago.

I posted an HTML version in the Y group.

*sneaks into biosafety lab with Mad*

Well, Joshkr, usually she holds it in a way that I can't see it.

But I guess she thought this time everyone else would like to see it. Except I guess it's more like there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am.

*begins pouring two beers into funnel at once, since Mad is holding my hose*

YOu know Josh, it makes it awfully hard to prejudge you by imagining you sitting naked on a pony when you're already taking you clothes off all the time.

Boo-You'll have to prejudge Josh by imagining him sitting clothed on a pony.

Finally got one of those damn mp3 things on the reMOAT group to play . . . and I nominate Susan as the official MOATelle spokeswoman, er, um, spokesperson . . . spokesmodel.

Do you do answering machins, too?

All this talk of beer... makes me glad I'm working from home today.

*glug* *glug* *glug*

I'm not much of a perl expert, but I can hack together simple stuff once in a while.

Oh wait... geek talk. Better shut up.

And this is "Not Necessarily the News"

or a Haiku.

Nevermind, I fixed it. I now imagine a pony sitting on top of a nude Josh.

I could, I suppose, if asked nicely...

I don't see (hear?) anything great in my voice, but it does get compliments.

Ha!

It's the stunning eloqution.

I'm off to the chiro-crack-me.

Be back later.

Ciao

I guess I get to be the moat slut today.

Continues "holding" both Mr. Fisher's and Lab specimen's hoses, while licking butter from Slowlayne's Magic marker and excess beer from Joshy's lips. All that while balancing upside down in the biosafety lab with Weasel.

Damn a woman's work is never done...

*gasps*

What if the cable goes out and I can't read the blog for a few days?

*starts drinking heavily*

*blush* *assuming Boo's comment is about me*

and mr. Fisher - you made me spit water at my computer with the there it is there it isn't comment.

I'm off as well. I'm sure I'll have plenty to catch up on later.

djtonyb - god forbid the cable goes out - you'll NEVER catch up on the MOATelle....

Peri - you find some interesting sites...

djT - we could send some lesbians with powertools to fix your cable and with hand written summaries of Moatelle by Christobol.

Oh yeah. I'm at home today. I can listen to all the audio in the Y group! Be back later!

As long as someone comes up with the scripts...never was good at the writing part.


Really. I'm gone for now. I think.

Or djT you can jsut print this summary out now:

Josh is naked and cahined up pleading for you help
Mad, Polly, Peri, Susan and Slyeyes are torturing Josh
Mad, Polly, Peri, Susan and Slyeyes are playing naked twister with Josh
Mad, Polly, Peri, Susan and Slyeyes are buttering Joshy's Ass

Slowlayne write limerick
Cbol writes snake story
Cbol makes everyone ruin monitors with spraying drinks

Elle is crowned president again with propeller beanie and coconut bra

Eadn Posts cryptic but fun message

That should hold out till the cable is restored

note should be Josh is chained up

And please add -
Higgy, leetie, JU, Jamester and Weasel all post funny random comments to make bloggers laugh

to the summary

Sh%!. It's already time to go home? Glad tommorrow is Friday!

Welp, I'm off to do some RL sympathizing(i.e. heavy drinking)

And thanks Mad for the hosing. You were great!

Keep drinking Joshkr, I'll try to check in a later to see the results.

I was having trouble with Susan's "she speaks" audio. The way I solved that was to click on it with the right mouse button (that's the one on the right side, not the less-than-evil mouse button) and saved it to my desktop. Once the download completed, I opened the file. It played fine.

Perhaps if you're (not your) having trouble, you can take that route.

Windows 98? Peri, back away from the computer! Slowly, though, so not to anger it.

How to upgrade your computer in three easy steps:
1) Identify one of your friends that both has a better computer than you, and you don't mind not being friends with him/her anymore.
2) Challenge soon-to-be-ex friend to a game of "Rock, Paper, Saddam."
3) Use old computer as high-tech doorstop.

Bonus points: Make fun of neighbors with "analog" doorstops.

analog doorstops WBAGNFARB

Hey, moaties.

I can't seem to open the stats. I'm curious to find out where was I on the posting frequency scale...

Polly ever since the defying 3 laws of gravity post all the male bloglits place you "on top" of all POSTing scales...

Hee hee. My signature move.

Oh, poopy, Joshkr.

I don't have Excel. :-(

i believe an html version was posted.

I actually don't have a single witty thing to contribute at the moment, but I really want to get in on all the fun.

So, should I wait until I have something to say, or just go ahead and post anyway?

Welcome smoodle.

*Hands smoodle the welcome basket containing - propeller beanie, penguin thong, coconut bra and menthol cough drops.

Enjoy

Mad, the html version won't open for me, either.

Is Smoodle implying that I should be witty??? I sure hope not. My ex got my wit as part of the divorce.

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