THANKS FOR THE MONKEY MOAT, ELLE

It'll look great over the couch.

Comments

[Peri]

Does everyone always simulpost so much in a new thread? Is it because it's new and exciting and unexplored, not like the old thread that was comfy and nice but you always knew what it would do next?

[Christobol]

WTF is "Fit's"?
Hey, there was a breeze.
Ok. Got any cheetos?

[PETER]

POLLY, SNORT LAUGH!

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

Polly ... I thought you said ass rides were OFF-LIMITS?!

Up that girls kinky score.

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

elle ... how long are you going to be in the city???

[Jeff Meyerson]

JU: I got your carpet munchers right here.

[slyeyes]

DId

[Peri]

I think there are very few bloglits Dave would actually allow to approach him - I'm sure his security personnel have the photo page printed out for reference. Seeing that it's elle, however, I say go for it.

[Polly]

*Sticks head up from bushes*

Just a sec, Bangi...

[Peri]

*tosses Polly the virgin trank gun*

Try this, and make sure you tag him before you let him go.

[Polly]

Wow...we usually don't sink to this level of smut until after dark...

[Polly]

Okay, Joshkr. You get a 10 second head start.

1....2....3...RUN!....4...JOSHKR, GO!....5....

[Peri]

Sorry, Bangi, I should try to keep up. Here you go:

Voudriez-vous être mon Singe de G-tache?

[Polly]

Night, Bangi!! Sweet dreams, you sizzlin' young thing, you.

[MadScientist]

*steals Joshkr's G-spot monkey Tshirt and dives into the virgin moat. *
Who wanted to work today anyhow?
Dang y'all have been busy.

[Johnny Urinalcakes]

djt-you might get mr. fisher with that case...

jeffm-i'll have to submit "chomping sod" for consideration by mr. scott. *bookmarks dictionary link for further research into other team's game plan*

[Polly]

6....7.....8.....9......10!

*Fires dart into Joshkr's left rump.*

You know, Joshkr, it's not much a challenge if you pull down your pants and bend over three feet from me.

*Watches Joshkr sway on his feet*

[slyeyes]

401! We haven't even lived here for 24 hours. We're gonna need an annex soon.

Hey, DJT, when those Home Depot Lesbians are done with your hurricane shutters, send them over here to give us a bid on an annex.

(Am I being unPC? Oh, well.)

[Polly]

Uh oh...

Parallel universes collide! There's a tear in the space/time continuum of the Moat!!

[Polly]

Joshkr! ((Shake shake))

Get back in our universe! You pulled down your pants and bent over, right?

[Mr.Fisher]

Ok. Member the other night when eldest LilFish and I were throwing paper airplanes into the ceiling fan? And slyeyes sent me to the corner for letting him read the Moat with me.

Well I finally got the pics on the Y group in the Babes in Moatland folder.

If anyone needs a chuckle better go look now, cuz they're only stayin up for a VERY short time and then I'm deleting them.

Enjoy!

[Susan]

Yeah, things are getting a little out of hand already...wonder what night time will bring?

[Higgy]

Mr Fisher - I LOVE the hats!!

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

Mr Fisher ... those are great. Thanks for sharing! Both you and kid are a-dor-able!

[Kat]

ok... i go sleep for a few hours and it takes 40 mins to read the posts... i'm gonna have to be quicker.. or adjust my body to US timezones... I now can't play with the monkeys cos I have to get ready for work... gggrrr... and no.. not a shift worker.. i live in New Zealand.. which is 16hrs hours ahead (or 8 hrs behind, but tomorrow, if thats easier to count).
*Falls off the blow up lounge chair in the MOAT where I was dozing.. makes up a thermos of moataritas, and heads for the door, sobbing because theres no time to stay and play monkey games.

PS .. joined the Yahoo group ... although i never use my yahoo email.. but they send it to me at home so thats ok (specifically The Home for Criminally Insane Alcoholics)

[Mike Weasel]

*staggers in*

Am I too late for the housewarming party? At the rate we post, we'll be moving every other week.

Did Fluffy's egg ever hatch?

[Susan]

Isn't it hard to talk into a ceiling fan? Being on the ceiling and all..

[Christobol]

Turn it on, Joshkr, it's even cooler.

Oh, and the fan, too.

[LabSpecimen]

I misread Joshkr's post and I've been talking TO my ceiling fan for 15 minutes. All it wants to talk about is politics.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Just stopped in to say I'm off (oh yeah?) to the game to see if the Yankees can manage more than 5 hits and no runs and their pitchers can hold the Indians under 22. If not, I could be back early. Keep your fingers crossed.

See you in the A.M.

[LabSpecimen]

Rita, you've got to get a picture of him cutting his son's hair!

[BigD]

Lab,
RNC in NYC, DNC in ... oh whatever. That is enough politics for this blog!

Rita,
I would assume that most of us guys in this blog are in your son's situation (by accute observation of the posts) - but the Flo-Bee is out.

[Mike Weasel]

Is that anything like the Wayne's World's Suck-Cut?

[mudstuffin]

Don'y know but I once gave my son a sideways mohawk - you know, ear to ear, when he was too little to stop me.

[Mike Weasel]

Wanna have a real hoot?

http://www.tashian.com/multibabel/

For example, my last post:

Is that anything like the Wayne's World's Suck-Cut?

becomes

Which cut to the succhiamento something like Wayne's World's
l'est?

[Mr.Fisher]

oh yeah and the 9 year old boy with only a head and no body. He's also in the babes in toyland folder now if anyone is curious about what he looks like.

Caution: It's just a picture of a little boys head.

[mudstuffin]

It has ear with l'oreille in the past, that it is given to my
Mohikaner side of the son, knows them, when it was too much small for
m'arrêter.

[Boo Augustus]

Are we going to hit 1000 by the end of the day (12:00 a.m. EDT)?

[Christobol]

News Update

Houston - 31,Aug,2004:

Seven year old Sam Jones of Galveston, whose heartbreaking story of "Billy's Disease" has captivated tens of people, received a successful body transplant earlier this morning.

Dr. Handjob: Yes, yes. So, we tied Sam's head to a the body of a very large sewer rat which we had cloned just for this purpose. He seems to be recovering nicely.

Reporter1: So, will he walk soon?

Dr. Handjob: No. That will be impossible. The cloned sewer rat body is entirely paralyzed.

Reporter1: But...that sucks, man.

Dr. Handjob: Yes it is very exciting.

Reporter2: So..when you say you tied Sam's head to the body of a sewer rat...

Dr. Handjob: Yes. We were able to loop cables thru Sam's eye sockets and tie them to the body of the sewer rat - very tight.

Reporter2: Does that impair Sam's vision in any way?

Dr. Handjob: Well, we did have to poke his eyes out.

Reporter2: So...you took a bodiless boy, blinded him, and attached him to the body of a paralyzed sewer rat? That does suck.

Dr. Handjob: Yes. Very exciting.

[Higgy]

Boo - sure - all you have to do is mention elle's boyfriend and we'd get a couple of hundred posts of her kicking your butt (with Punky)....

[Leetie]

I CAN'T KEEP UP!

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

Boo ... let me see ... if a train leaves the reMOAT traveling at 69 miles per hour and another train leaves the MOATelle (with a propeller beanie cap on) traveling at mach 3 ... and Bangi stands on her head wearing only a penguin thong, while a monkey carrying X and Y has sex with Fluffy while Mr. Fisher throws paper airplanes at an obtuse angle ... then the circumference of 4 plus 12 ... less the Pythagorean theorem ... carry the 0 ... times pi ... would equal ... Yes, yes, I think we might.

[slyeyes]

*enrolls in Evelyn Woods Speed Reading Class*

*Tosses blank application to Leetie*

Punky, I can't do that kind of math without taking off my shoes.

[rita]

Is that anything like the Wayne's World's Suck-Cut?

I think it is, Mike. I haven't seen that movie in years, and I have no memory. It's attached to a vacuum cleaner, I do know that.

I would assume that most of us guys in this blog are in your son's situation (by accute observation of the posts)

Yep. Bathroom humor, anyone?

[Mr.Fisher]

*Throwing paper airplane at an obtuse angle*

*chugs Beer*

[rita]

Except my son doesn't drink beer; pretty much Mountain Dew for him.

[Johnny Urinalcakes]

My dad used to use a flowbee to cut his dog's hair. Then he realized that the process, as well as the results, were undermining the animal's dignity.

JU

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

Christobol...open your text file

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?

Is that like "the eagle has landed"?

[Mr.Fisher]

JU-Did he shave the dogs ass and teach it to walk backwards?

If it worked we should try it on these Monkeys.

[BigD]

Who said sunflower seeds were good to help one quit smoking cigarettes? I keep burning my lips trying to light one.

Arrgh, gotta go to Corporate tomorrow and demo software a co-worker and I wrote to half a dozen department heads and the CFO. Won't be able to blog or blurk until Monday - that should take most of the day Monday to catch up so I guess work is out for Monday, right?

[jamester]

I recently suggested to my lovely wife that I buy a haircut kit and do my hair, and my 5 yr old's.

Can't figure why she declined. Maybe the fact that I just stapled my thumb to my desk blotter?

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

Catch ya later, BigD. Have fun storming the Corporate!

[Susan]

Skinny dipping with Josh? Better than my day so far.

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

Midget ... if you tell me that your fabulous red hair is from the almighty one and not a bottle, I'm going to cry out of sheer jealousy ...

[Susan]

I don't think a simple trank could keep Josh down.

[slowlayne]

Joshkr -

You serious about the cabana boy gig? I'm taking applications.

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

joshkr ... thank god. life IS fair.

[Susan]

Josh, I doubt the right dart would have kept you down either.

[slowlayne]

You'll work for free? In that case I'll provide the butter. You're hired!

[slowlayne]

You don't have to wear a dress. Just a thong when you're not in the cabana. Meet me in the cabana.

[Susan]

For you, I'd say not much at all.

[slowlayne]

Bye yall...off to HomoDepot to buy the last remaining scraps of plywood in the state.

[Christobol]

My mom's pool boy offered to clean the pool in only a thong for $15 less per week.

She doesn't have a pool.

We had to kill the bastard.

And now I have another thong.

[BigD]

Peri, I have been to my fair share of trade shows and you were right to turn him down - borrrring. Plus, the skinny dipping and MOATaritas sound like a lot more fun.

Great pic midget, too bad I am married, and am, uh, uh, 6'7"

[Midget]

Free at last!! Everybody duck!!

*rips business suit off and cannonballs back into the MOAT*

So, any MOATarita mix left??

[Higgy]

There's plenty of MOATarita's already mixed up - over there served up by Isaac from the love boat.

Or you can dip into the cooler of beer - currently floating between Mr Fisher, myself and Joshkr (when he gets back from the cabana)...

ALways plenty o alcohol around this group...

[Boo Augustus]

*hastens seatbelt, straps on safety helmet*

So, elle, about that boyfriend, would he want to be slowlayne's cabana boy.

*1,000 here we come!*

[Midget]

Thanks, BigD. But I have to say, any guy who is taller than me while ON HIS KNEES is just a tad out of reach for me. So I hope your wife is taller than me.

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

There once was a pool boy named Brock
Whose butt checks caused quite a shock
He would clean in a thong
But cbol thought that was wrong
So he killed the young man with a rock

[Higgy]

*ducks for cover*

INCOMING.....

[Higgy]

Midget - almost forgot. From looking at your picture - I can now officially welcome you to the MOATelle...

*ahem*

Hubba Hubba.

That is all...

[Federal Duck]

You MOATers are crazy; this is office boredom taken to new and somewhat disturbing heights. I love you guys.
Do not blog softly into that good night!

[Midget]

Higgy-can I have a MOATarita AND a beer? The quicker to get drunk with, my dear...

Joshkr-cabana boys are supposed to know how to swim. *gently admonishes but lets him have a floatie anyway*

Now bring on the Moataritas!!

Hey, girls, what does Isaac look like?? Is he hot??

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

Who's hotter ... Isaac, Doc or Goffer?

[MadScientist]

*sneaks into Slowlayne's cabana*

*snaps the thong of the cabana boy*

Josh - will you "clean my pool"?

[Boo Augustus]

So South Florida is stagin "major" evacuations. Do they ever have "minor" ones? And even if just a few people were involved, don't you think it would be "major" to them?

[Midget]

Peri-you mean we could get a permanent home and the party could last forever?? Wow.

Higgy-Thank you. I'm very honored to be welcomed in.

Everyone-could somebody post a link to our Y! group?? I don't know how to get there...*pouts*

[Midget]

Peri-Yes...fresh meat...you guys will have to teach me the ways of the infamous moaties.

[slyeyes]

Hey, Midget, glad you joined us. You make me feel like a towering amazon. I'm 5'2"....in heels....on an incline....in low humidity.

OF COURSE Isaacs hot! He's the MOAT's bartender. Would we allow anything else?

*Does graceful swan dive into MOAT*

Oh, sorry, Josh...didn't see you floating there.

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

ReMOAT Group

[Midget]

Slyeyes-4'10" makes many feel tall. But I have been known to reach 5'3"...in 4 inch stilettos with my hair teased

[MadScientist]

Joshy - Thanks for the cleaning I need a good one after the way this week is going.

[Christobol]

"Sorry monkey-boy, gonna have to let you go."
"But I just started at the bar!"
"Yeah, well, we've moved on to bad tv actors from the 70s and 80s. Mr. T is manning the bloody mary's, see?"
"This sucks."
"That's the spirit. Just leave the monkey body over in the corner and don't let the door hit you in the ...well...the back of the head as you roll out."

[Mike Weasel]

CANNONBALL!!!!!

**KA-BLOOSH!!!!**

[Higgy]

Some of us look young but are secretly ancient...

Yours truly, in fact. I look 34, but I'm really.... 34....

nevermind.

Midget - join the ranks of the two-fisters!
(insert dirty joke about two-fisting here)

[MadScientist]

*takes the headless boy into her lab to give him a new body - I think the Britney SPears DNA is just about ready.

There perfect now you just sit there and make sure noone touches ANYTHING for the next 24 hours.

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

insert dirty joke about two fisting here ...

that's a double entendre

[slyeyes]

AND HIGGY GOT 500!!!

[MadScientist]

*motions Weasel into her lab*

I need a little help with this experiment...

[Susan]

Mad-you realize telling these people not to touch means they will immediately do so..

[MadScientist]

Susan - of course!! It is all part of my plan to rule the .... umm did I say that out loud?

[MadScientist]

Hey Josh that tickles!! touch over here that feels a lot nicer....

Ok 5:40 DBtime as of my last post. if we want to hit 500 posts my midnight DBtime How many posts per minute must we achieve?

[Susan]

See? Josh is touching already. *yep, right there*

[Christobol]

"*takes the headless boy into her lab to give him a new body "

Um...Mad? Way to go - you just spliced a lifeless monkey body to a Britney Spears body - with no head(s). And you let the head roll into the moat.

Maybe he can swim.

Dude, he's a head.

Yeah. Bummer.

(wouldn't it be great if a guy who was just a head with no body made it to the olympics in the 400M freestyle? then the announcer could scream "he's ahead!" and the color man could say "duh. we went over that in the preview!")

[MadScientist]

Ok So far in one day the Headless boy (and I can't believe noone has made the obvious dirty joke about that) has had the body of a monkey, a paralyzed rat and Britney Spears. I think he just won for highest kinky score.

[Federal Duck]

Ok guys, I need your help. I want to change my name, but I can't decide between Pullet Surprise or Crapweasel McGee. Any other suggestions will be duly noted and ignored. Anything involving a creative use of the word Neener would be great.

[MadScientist]

Josh - good to see no matter where we move to you will always be the moat gigalo

[kingw]

Sorry to be mainly a blurker, but quite frankly I can't keep up with you people. I think the MOAT, ReMOAT, and MOATelle qualify as Productivity enhancers in and of themselves. One last point, I think I am developing a drinking problem, and I can't really blame it on the subliminal messages in this blog.

[punky "sultry breeze" brewster]

*thinks about the last time she's been touched by hands other than her own*

Hey Josh! Over here, Buddy. I need you for a sec.

[Johnny Urinalcakes]

djt - PBR????

Sierra Nevada or John Bull would have piqued my sister's interest.

For Chimay or Young's Old Nick, why, the job would be DONE ALREADY!! (I don't think she cares as much for Young's Dirty Dick. She is my sister, y'know.)

JU