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August 19, 2004


So I'm in a taxi driven by a guy named Tony, and we're hurtling through the Athens night several kilometers per hour faster than an F-16, and Tony is leaning out the window flirting with a woman cab driver hurtling along next to us, and after she veers away, I ask Tony if that's his girlfriend, and he says, quote, "If there is one kind of woman I will never go out with, that is doctor, lawyer, and taxi driver."


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Gold again!

Finally a post.


*grabs dictionary*

nope, can't find the word 'leanng' anywhere.

*grabs dictionary*

nope, can't find the word 'leanng' anywhere.

That's because it's Greek! Dave's just picking up another word besides ''TIPIYOTKI.''

i know him. he drives in ny in the off season.

I always said I wanted to be a roller skating waitress doctor lawyer.

I got the lawyer and waitress thing down (and the the doctor if you count the juris doctor).

Roller skating it is!

If there is one kind of woman I will never go out with, that is doctor, lawyer, and taxi driver."

Isn't that 3 kinds women? Or was the female cab driver employed in all 3 occupations.

Proof once again that Dave is not following our advice to keep his eyes tightly closed when in a Greek taxi...

Greek guys named Tony can't count I guess

Tony took Dave from start to arrive,
And yakked with a driver beside,
When asked if the broad
Was his girlfriend he scoffed
Now that's one girl I wouldn't drive!

Flying 'round in a cab Tony flirted
But from marriage he was diverted
From a doctor or lawyer
Or a girl who'll employ her-
Self as a cab pilot beskirted

When Tony drove Dave for a small fee,
"What girls do you date" was the query,
"Well not cabbies or stiffs,
Doctors? Lawyers? As if!
I date chicks who are named 'Tipiyotki'"

When I was in Greece I got a helpful map from the tourist bureau, which had very helpful translations of the street signs into western characters. Only thing, if you were looking for say, (as a random example) ''TIPIYOTKI'' street as indicated on the map, on the actual street sign it was written "TпЅиабĐЦ" or somsuch nonsense, SO THAT IT WAS STILL IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND OUT WHERE YOU WERE.

Liked the Souvlaki though, delicious and easy to pronounce.

Punky - what, you wouldn't just die and go to heaven if you could date a cabbie named Tony? I know I sure would. Well, I would die, anyway.

I always said I wanted to be a roller skating waitress doctor lawyer.

I got the lawyer and waitress thing down (and the the doctor if you count the juris doctor).

Roller skating it is!

Originally posted in the wrong thread. Is it friday yet?

Taxi like an F-16
Down the pavement does careen
Date on wheels - what a scene
What's a Grecian Urn?

Volleyball in the sand
But no people in the stands
KC and the Sunshine Band
Aretha's record turns

Nero got olympic gold
Poetry reading, so I'm told
Gets a 10 or heads will roll
You think politics is new?

Scandals now, Scandals then
Drugs or bribe might get the win
It used to be "in the gym"
Can't we bring back nude?

"several kilometers per hour faster than an F-16"

What the hell's a kilometer? It sounds like something the cabbies use to register pedestrian fatalities. Stupid communist metric system.

An F-16's speed isn't measured by kilometers Dave.

Apparently she won't date a taxi driver, either, because she was the one who veered away.

So Dave: are you busy passing out Florida driver's licenses and Dave for President buttons to all your fabulous Greek friends? Are you planning a sequel, Greek Guide to Guys?

The F-16 Fighting Falcon flies up to mach 2.5,
which is 1,320 m.p.h.,
which converts to 2,124.33 k.p.h.

Tony? What Dave do, take a wrong bus and end up in Italy?

(shakes head in bewilderment) I can understand the lawyer part, sure... but the rest?

But Dave, did you see this guy on your Athenian peregrenations?

Dave's book on this experience will (or should) be entitled The Guy's Guide to Greece. Or, if he chooses to focus on the Olympic portion of the visit, The Guy's Guide to the Gold. On second thought, maybe not.

I was in Athens and I made out with...umm..no MET a Tony. Though, Costas or Cristos or Demitrios or Nick would have been much more believable. Come on Dave, I thought all of your writing is facutal. It's printed isn't it. I wouldn't ride in a taxi though. I walked a mile home at 3 am rather than take a taxi. Do you think I have a death wish?

Lairbo Another title suggestion:
Guide to Guys ... It's Greek To Me!
* groan? well, you asked for it *

I can only assume our pal and fellow bloglit *djtonyb* is moonlighting in Athens. Mayhap the bouzouki music was meanwhile blaring from the car radio.

Steve: An actuary? What are the odds of that?

Sorry. had to.

I am married to a chemist. I get the pleasure of going to her office parties at holidays. If there is anything more pathetic than a group of Software engineers (what I am) at a party. It has to be a group of chemist.

Are you saying actuaries may be worse? *shudder*

You talking to me? I'm the only one here..Are YOU talking to ME?

The Bean: "Come on Dave, I thought all of your writing is facutal."




Yo, MOTW - I get mach 2.5 coming out to 1803.75 MPH (at sea level). Your mileage may vary...

Here's something more practical than a wimpy fake bulge like the one we saw before

Can't talk about my day to hubby because he quickly gets bored/lost in the computer programming talk. But I listen with rapt attention whenever he waxes eloquently on drainage issues, wastewater treatment, floodplain models, code violations, and city politics. Funny. Think of all the stereotypical attributes of a programmer and a civil engineer ... married 18+ years.

Tetsu my thoughts exactly, thanks for expressing them so well. *wink*

Sorry, pogo. I found that stat on a webpage, which said that at 40,000 ft. altitude, mach 2.5 was 1,320 m.p.h. Thanks for the correction.

I got Mach 2.5 to be 1853.637 mph, which is 2983.14 km/h. I have a conversion-calculate-y program. It doesn't account for variations in altitude - but doesn't 1 mile = 1 mile at every altitude? Is someone making a machery of science?

Brainy Jello the speed of sound varies with the density of the air and thus altitude. Or was that a joke? When you're a geek, its so hard to tell sometimes, right MOTW?

punky good incentive to go out and get a license.

I noticed someone corrected Dave's "leanng" out the window.

So Judi is there hiding out someplace not feeding us any posts.

"While the cats away the mice will play."

Should I be concerned that all 5 tabs in my spiffy tab interface browser have the title Dave Barry's Blog?

Tony's comment reminds me of this old story:

A mom had to pick up little Jimmy from school in Amsterdam, but her car broke down, so she hailed a cab. The driver took a shortcut through the (in)famous red light district.
"Mom, what are those ladies doing in those windows?"
Embarrassed, but a quick thinker, mom replied:
"Well, Jimmy, they are moms waiting for their kids coming from school, and they are looking through the window to see if they're almost home"
"Come on", says the taxi driver, "that's crap.They're whores!"
"What are whores, mommy ?"
More than embarrassed, but this time really p'd off, mom replies:
"Jimmy, whores are moms waiting for their kids to get home from school,
and their kids later become taxi drivers..."

Mahatma Kane Jeeves -- Your post above leaves me with many questions:

Are you suppose to say "Pahdun me, while ah whip this out!" when you need to draw your gun from these holsters?

And what should we expect the reaction to be from the person who's threatening you in the first place (be they bad guy or good guy) when you make your move -- down the front of your pants?

And I'm so glad that it has a panel that prevents "corrosion-producing perspiration from ever reaching your firearm," but what about keeping the =gun= from corroding?

MKJ - I must assume this quote is deliberate on the seller's part

The larger compartment is, of course, for your weapon. If you have any questions concerning your weapon fitting, contact us.

Sage advice from those Greeks! Come to think of it, it would have done John Hinkley much good to stay away from Taxi Driver, too.

Did he have any stock market recommendations?

Or how about: "Who is going to pay a lot of attention to your crotch?"
Age-old question and/or quest to find the answer

MOTW, my wife pulls that same "no, really, that was fascinating" on me as well. But the glazed look in the eye tells all.

Who can find the very GNFARB first?

Geez, the whole write-up lends itself to a Battle (to the death) of the Bands not to be missed.

Male Taxidermy
Not a Reproduction
Wopping 15 Inches
Wax Coats
(and the probably lawsuit-inducing) Flesh Eating Beetles

I assume you mean "flesh eating beetles"

Though "missing incisor" has a ring to it. As does "brush wolf" - though that many be too obvious given Steppenwolf (sp?).

Tony Danza is really getting desperate for a job.

Lairbo da winnah!
(I noticed it's a diet soda next to the skull, I knew that stuff was bad for ya)

OtherDave: that was uncanny, really. Just yesterday that scene from Blazing Saddles popped into my head from nowhere! Hey, are you in my brain now? GET OUT!

MOTW - as pointed out above Mach speed varies with "altitude density", so your posting is right at some altitude.

That means I can run at the speed of sound if I can get high enough....uh, well OK, take that anyway you like.

Woohoo! I'm gonna have me a diet Pepsi!

Why do I suddenly have this urge to look at Georgia O'Keefe paintings?

hmmm... Only 56 post so far.

Apparently Taxi Drivers aren't as fertile a subject as mom's breastfeeding in Starbucks.

pun intended.

Echo diavasa olla afta ta psemata the-la-the tis Ellines, ka ginomai thimomenos! Alla then akousa ti pio kanoniki lexi stin Ellada: "Malakia!" (Ohi akoma...)

Lairbo after all, "diet" is just die with a t on the end.

Peri amateurs don't know how to fill out the bill. And don't pay union dues.

Federal Duck - I am a citizen of the metric using country north of you. Neither we nor our metric system is communist - well maybe Quebec is, but not the rest of us ;) (just kidding Quebec - you can put your hammers & sicles down)

Don't feel bad though,FD, half of us don't know what a kilometre is either.

Ok, I recant (except against Quebec). Since we import winter directly from you guys, you can't be *all* Communist. Winter is the only thing we have to look forward to, here in The South, where it's 100 degrees (Celsius) outside right now and you have to put a towel on your steering wheel after work to avoid 3rd degree burns on your palms and there are mirages in the STREET for god's sake and there's 112 percent humidity and you can grill your dinner on the sidewalk and *slap*. Thanks, I was getting carried away.
But I just gotta ask, what's with the 're' thing? Theatre, kilometre, Brett Favre, ice-cold bere. Just curious.

All this talk of Mach speed depending on altitude is unnecessary. Mach speed can just as easily be defined, here comfortably at ground level, in terms of the amount of time it takes some bloglit to post a 'First' comment on any given Barry blog item.

An interesting piece of information for American presidential canidates in Athens. If one were to loose their passport on a death defying trip in aforementioned cab on the way to the airport and one's flight were leaving between the hours of 6am and 2 pm, there are representitives of the US embassy at the Athens airport to aid and assist. While normally consular employees call such careless folks losers and other names I won't mention, I would make an exception here. Airport service provided untill Aug. 31st.

Federal Duck - I have no idea why we are an 're' kind-a-place or why we spell colour, harbour etc... with an 'our' instead of just 'or' at the end. But it does make for an interesting time when using spell check in Microsoft Word. Perhaps, had I paid attention in history or even english, I might know why, but alas, it appears I was sleeping. Possibly it was our way of trying to make our french-speaking folks feel more at home. :))

Peri, and Professional Skull Cleaners would make a GREAT nfarb.

For entertainment value, I would love to see a Sydney taxi driver and an Athens taxi driver - play chicken!

But that's just me.

Of course, Dart, time is irrelevant when you own a time machine.

Federal Duck-
Would you be willing to export some of your summer? I am just across the lake (or lakes) from iolite and it's ridiculous here. Small children cannot swim without going into hypothermia and I'm sitting here at work in a winter sweater in AUGUST. My office is air conditioned and it is COLDER OUTSIDE. Help.

Midget - soooo true. It's nice to have company in my misery :)

Not everyone will understand this...but.. since you want to have an Australian cabbie and a Greek cabbie play chicken... Try having two Phillipinos driving the 'bike-taxis' (you sit in a pulled rattan 'lawn chair' behind their bike) literally racing each other down the streets on the mountainside....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

A friend of mine, on returning from Rome, noted that the cabbies would try to cheat you, just like in Boston, and that they drove like maniacs, just like in Boston. The only difference he noticed, he said, was that the cabbies in Rome all spoke English.

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