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August 30, 2004

MOTHER-IN-LAW PROBLEMS?

One guy's solution.

(Thanks to nicole the wonder nerd)

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First?

The guy just happened to have a jet engine?

That is just too cool.

Was the test track for this contraption built on the edge of a cliff?

Oh, yes, YES! I need one of these for *MY* M-I-L!! (No, no "F" all you naughty, nauaghty boys!) A wheelchair with a jet engine . . . but NO brakes! YESSSS!!

I'd like to introduce my wife's mother to the guy that launches Buicks with a catapult. With one of these chairs she may be able to achieve orbit. Or not.

Didn't Dave ride a lawn mower just like this once?

Guy 1: So what'd you do today?
Guy 2: Same ol' same ol'.
Guy 1: Strapped a jet engine to something entirely inappropriate?
Guy 2: Yup.
Mother-in-law: YYYIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Guy 1: You're right, she really doesn't ever shut up.
FD: Neener.

Drinkin' Drag Racin' Grannies ...

I'd pay to see that.

Hell, I'd pay to compete.

Punky - "Ok, there's your $20."
Clerk - "Great. Pick up one drunk granny from the pile, then it's first door on your left. No refunds for false starts, clean up is extra, remember to leave your drunk granny somewhere near the finishline. Good luck."

By the way, I'm going to try very hard not to laugh at the irony of this guy ending up wheelchair bound following a wheelchair accident.

I'm going to try. And I'm going to fail.

christobol ... I'll be there to offer him my neck brace and to bring you a change of underwear.

Giuseppe Cannella
gee, nun spill a cape
penis palace lunge

MOTW: time to adjust your meds, dear.

Thanks punky - you can NEVER have too many changes of underwear, I say.

"What's in the bag?"
"Couple changes of underwear."
"Thought you were just checking the mail."
"I am."

I thought MOTW got into my pain meds ...

paws off!

And they say guys don't have goals! We do! Now if you could attach that Guinness attachment to the side of it and add on a TV set (and perhaps a catheter) you'd be set for life.

* apologizes profusely, sets mind back on satisfying career-challenging work *

Guiseppe Cannalla’s a real gunner
Who designed a wheelchair more funner.
Strapping on a jet engine
With power to make men grin
His mum-in-law’s now a real runner.

Injestible?
Yeah, like when you drink something as a joke.
Oh, ok

Christobol, Schadeboy beat you to that link. Schadeboy, that was great! Those kiwis have the right idea. Nothing tatses better than a cold beer after a long hot day on a project. never mind that the project is what made it hot. The cold beer is reward enough.

So he did. Oh well, that was cool enough for two links.

No it wasn't.

Shut up.

am I the only one hearing the words "TO THE MOON, ALICE!!" when I see this. I wouldn't be surprised if I was

am I the only one hearing the words "TO THE MOON, ALICE!!" when I see this? I wouldn't be surprised if I was

oops sorry .. sticky mouse ... gggrrrr

Sticky mouse, Kat?
Judi, I told you the Hugh pictures would come to a sticky end. While the Kat's away, the mouse will play. Two birds in the hand is *slap*
Thanks kat, I needed that.
Neener.

Go Granny go Granny go Granny go!!

great. now everyone will want one.
jet powered grannies wbagnfarb

Lmd33: good one.

you're quite welcome Duck .. and i put out a honey trap for the mouse... works great and they can't get out... but it does cause probs with double posts

I'm gathering stories about horror mothers in law for a book - please contact me and tell me the worst things your mother in law has said and done: www.horrormothersinlaw.blogspot.com

Ok , I know everyone always thinks their story or situation is worse than the next persons... but I honestly believe mine truly is.
My husband and I have been married for about 3 years. We now have a sweet little 5 month old boy, Hunter. He has craniosynostosis, which is a condition where his "soft spot" closed up too soon. He has to have surgery soon, so I'll start my story here... although I could tell much more prior to this.
To give you a feel for my family, I'll start by explaining this - my cousin met and married Travis (which is my husband’s brother) way before my husband and I met. So, this situation is more complicated because we are double related. My MIL is "religious". And I say it like that, not to mock, because I myself am a Christian. But this woman would probably be classified as a "religious nut".
This last 'crisis' started when she called telling my husband she didn't want us taking my son down to MY grandmother's house because my cousin (the one who married my husband’s brother) and my grandmother had gotten into an argument (mind you we are DOUBLE RELATED). Well, prior to all of this my MIL and I have been into arguments, but those were in the past and I tried to lay it all down because it is my husband’s mom, and my sons grandmother. We had just had a family reunion on my husband’s side of the family where she immediately started in fussing because we don't go to her house enough (she lives 45 minutes away and we both work... she has NO job, and can come see us... right?), and because we never visit with his sister (which lives over an hour away). So, I grit my teeth and bite my tongue hoping this will ALL be over soon and we can get back home. Well about a week goes by and that is when we receive the phone call mentioned above. Things go from bad to worse. She kept calling about it, and my husband let her know we were not going to quit taking my son down to my grandmothers. So she hangs up on him, and he just asked her not to call anymore. We left the house, and when we got back home that night, his brother had called cussing us out on the answering machine… for what you ask? Because his mom told him to. So, my husband is SO mad right about now because we have done nothing wrong. But I ask him to just not say anything and screen all calls that come into our house. So, later that afternoon, I log into my MySpace account (and she was added to it), and she has posted ALL kinds of stuff about me on there. She starts quoting Bible Verses and telling me that I’m going to Hell, and on and on. I’m automatically like “What the heck?!”. She keeps this up for about 2 weeks(all the while – me saying nothing), and then she said that I was the one mad at her and had said stuff to her because they did not take money up for my son at their family reunion!!! She made up a complete lie! I told her when I first found out about my sons surgery NOT to worry about any fundraisers because everyone was having it “rough”.
We finally blocked all their phone numbers, and they kept calling from PAY PHONES and erroneous phone numbers. We had to change our number and get it unlisted. We are also selling our house to get away from them… please keep in mind that my sons surgery is in a few days. The final breaking point through all of this is when she blamed my “sins” for the reason my son was sick and dealing with what he was… I wrote her a letter (my FIRST contact with her through all of this), and finally gave her a “piece of my mind”, the nicest way possible… and also let her know that my husband did not want them up at the hospital for my sons surgery. The latest post on her daughters blog said they would be there BRIGHT AND EARLY for his surgery.
If you choose to add this to your book, you’re more than welcome. Reword it how you would like. If you would like more of a “feel” for what I’m dealing with… check her space out at – http://www.myspace.com/theladylooking

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Dave Barry, please! I've loved your comedic writing. If you want to make fun of YOURSELF, go ahead. But do you have to do the stereotypic mother-in-law stuff? You need to realize that none of us signed up to be a mother-in-law--we became one just by virtue of having sons (like you). Some of us wanted to be good mother-in-laws so badly that we even kept a log of things our mother-in-laws did that we wanted to be sure not to repeat when our sons married. It doesn't matter. Sometimes, just by virtue of the fact that you're not mom, you're not the same, no matter how loving and caring you try to be, you have to endure being shunned. It hurts enough without people like you contributing to the stereotypes. Enough with the stereotypes! Please don't do this book.

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