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August 31, 2004

THANKS FOR THE MONKEY MOAT, ELLE

It'll look great over the couch.

SURE, MOM

I'll run to the Market for you, and I'll take the twins...

(Thanks to Paul Borden)

IMPRESSIVE

This person should be both a Florida driver AND a Florida voter.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

August 30, 2004

SAY, BOSS, HOW'S IT GOING UP THERE AT THE RNC?

Working hard?

(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr)

TOURIST DESTINATION II

South Korea.

(Thanks once more to Drew H., who is getting a lot done today)

TOURIST DESTINATION

Canada.

(Thanks again to Drew Harchick)

UNFORTUNATE HEADLINE OF THE DAY

(Thanks to Drew Harchick)

MOTHER-IN-LAW PROBLEMS?

One guy's solution.

(Thanks to nicole the wonder nerd)

EBAY ITEM OF THE DAY

Here's a nice gift for the special guy or gal who is marrying a horse.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

WHEN YOU HEAR JOHN McCAIN SPEAK TONIGHT, REMEMBER WHO HE REALLY SUPPORTS FOR PRESIDENT

McCain.jpg

(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr, who can get anybody to do anything)

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Cap'n's gonna keelhaul the scuppers for sure, this being blogged two days late. Arrrrr.

CONVENTION UPDATE

On Eighth Avenue near Times Square there's a clothing store with a sign that says "ANNOYING REPUBLICAN CONVENTION SALE."

Not far away is a store with a sign that says "MALE BODY BOOTHS." Does anybody know what that means? I should stay the heck out of there, right?

For a more comprehensive report on the Republican convention -- and when I say "more comprehensive," I mean "largely false" -- you can read my report in the Miami Herald here.

FLAGRANT COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCEMENT, ME HEARTIES

The book is out.

August 29, 2004

TRAVEL UPDATE

I'm in transit, by which I mean Airline Hell, from Athens to New York City for the Republican Convention and "Big Apple" style Fun-a-Palooza. I will be writing daily reports for the Miami Herald. Or I will be lying in the gutter gasping from pepper spray. Either way, I am looking forward to it.

August 28, 2004

SOMEBODY GET A DICTIONARY

Let's see if we can all agree on a definition for "happy."

(Thanks to Miriam Kushel)

TRAVEL ADVISORY

When you get to Sarajevo, slow down.

(Thanks to Susannah Nation)

August 27, 2004

HOLY &^)*&(*), BATMAN

(Thanks to Laura "Rayne" McEwan)

BIZARRE

It is totally beyond the realm of possibility that any actual human being could look like this.

EMPLOYMENT NEWS II

UH-oh.

(Thanks to Kaurie MacElroy)

EMPLOYMENT NEWS

Billions of women flock to LA to work in the film industry.

(Thanks to Polly)

FADS

2004's answer to the mood ring.

(Thanks to queensbee)

NOT THE OLYMPICS

But quite a sporting event. (Yes, it's a repeat.)

LADIES

Sorry to neglect the primary function of the stealth bloggerette.

OLYMPICS UPDATE

Well, it's actually an outdated update. But it's for the guys. (The warning is for women, for once.)

EUROPEAN FASHION UPDATE

HatSML.jpg

As this piece of headgear illustrates, European men wear fashions that are... OK, because we do not wish to be judgmental, we will just say that these fashions are different. But not in a bad or amusing way!

TODAY SHOW -- Dave'll be on in a few minutes

This post will be deleted when it's over so don't bother commenting. Really.

August 26, 2004

OLYMPIC OBSERVATION

If some woman, walking down the street and singing to herself with a big grin on her face, reached into her purse and handed over an open soft drink, this bloggerette would definitely not drink it.

That is all.

AFAIK

Interested blog readers may want to watch the TODAY show tomorrow morning. No promises, but heavy suspicions...

IT'S JUST NOT NICE

So we've decided to stop bloggng unusual names.

(Thanks to Drew Harchick)

August 25, 2004

ALERT READER COMMENT


Dear Dave,

As an above-average driver, I nevertheless screw up occasionally. I've long thought that we should carry signs that say "SORRY" both frontwards and reversed (to be seen in rear-view mirrors) that we could hold up when we inconvenienced another driver. I bet this would do a lot to combat road rage. Maybe you are the person who can get this movement onto American highways.

Muriel Friedman

The Stealth Bloggerette thinks this is a great idea, except that in Miami, the sign would also have to say "Lo Siento," "Mwen Regr├Ęt," "Mi Sorry," and of course "Tipiyokti."

ENOUGH ALREADY

Dear Mr.Barry,

In your column on July 25, 2004 you said that you and your friends started a band to meet women of the opposite sex. My question is, not trying to be picky, what other kind of women are there?
I do enjoy your column and try not to miss it.

Sincerely,

{name withheld so as not to protect the billions of other people who have actually taken out a piece of paper and an envelope, typed the same sentiment on a piece of paper that could have been used for something of value, and affixed a stamp worth 37 cents of U.S. currency to it, in order to mail it to this office, which is toying with the notion of throwing out all the mail that has arrived since July 25th so as never to have to read this ever again.}

EBAY ITEM OF THE DAY, PART D'EEEEYEW

(Thanks to Luis Calvo)

EBAY ITEM OF THE DAY

Does he speak of the pompatus of love?

(Thanks to Mahatma Kane Jeeves)

AND NOW, FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE

It's the "one-on-one relationship with his audience" that makes him so special.

(Thanks to Andrew Lucy)

WHEN ARTISTS DISAGREE

Only tragedy can result.

(Thanks to Chris Kern)

WON'T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?

Not!

(Thanks to Gretchen)

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW

Hey Dave....Been to many countries around the world. Basic question........how are the BATHROOMS there???

Robin in Miami

August 24, 2004

YOU SCREAM, I SCREAM

No, really.

(Thanks to Erik Love.)

(Disclaimer: This blog is not responsible for any reading-bad-puns-too-quickly headaches.)

MALAYSIAN RECORD SEEKERS

Couldn't you ladies think of anything ELSE to try?

(Thanks to schnooky34)

OLYMPIC UPDATE

GreekSign.jpg

Here's a picture of a totally mysterious sign near where I'm staying in Greece. It's a tall, very sturdy sign that has been erected smack in the middle of the sidewalk, in the middle of a block. It seems to be directing traffic to go straight, but why? I mean, it's in the middle of the block! The traffic has to go straight here. Maybe it's meant as a reminder to motorists that they shouldn't just suddenly lunge sideways and kill pedestrians. I frankly don't know.

This has been your Olympic update.

August 23, 2004

OLYMPIC UPDATE

And they wonder why there are not many fans in attendance.

(Thanks to Savitri)

SHAMELESS PLUGGING OF CORPORATE BLOGGING

Brought to you by judi the shill. Somebody alert Robert whatshisname.

ATTENTION, GUYS

It's probably pointless to say "Don't try this at home," isn't it?

(Thanks to Chris Kern)

VOTING SNAFU PROBABILITY UPDATE

For the infamous Palm Beach County. (Sorry, you may have to register.)

(Thanks to Louis Bettencourtt)

THIS BLOG

....apparently ain't gonna blog itself.

August 21, 2004

OLYMPICS UPDATE

So I was fixing breakfast for my daughter this morning, and I noticed that on the Greek Rice Krispies box, Snap, Crackle and Pop appear in a different order. Over here, they appear as follows: (1) Snap, (2) Pop, and (3) Crackle. What the heck is that about? Is that some kind of metric-system deal?

August 20, 2004

COINCIDENCE?

First there's this... and now....

(Thanks to Leon DeChenne)

AUCTION ITEM OF THE DAY

For Sale: Piece of wood. Almost famous.

(Thanks to Doug Ciskowski)

A STUNNING ACCOMPLISHMENT

A new world record -- another incredible victory for the U.S.!

(Thanks to Justin Barber)

YLIMPICS UPDATE

This should take a while.

(Thanks to Mike Weasel from the board, who says: click English (unless you want to play in another language), then click on the pentathlon. Then scroll down and hit pentathlon again. you do all 5 in succession.)

 
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