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August 20, 2004

IF I HEAR ONE MORE JOURNALIST MAKE THE FOLLOWING "JOKE" HERE IN ATHENS, I WILL KILL HIM WITH AN ANCIENT ROCK

"It's all Greek to me!"

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Don't the Greeks have a similar saying? They say "It's all Chinese to me," I believe. Pronounced, of course: ''TIPIYOTKI.''

Question, Dave: Would it make you mad if I started calling you "Davy"? I think that's a funny name. But even though your name is funny, I happen to have an extra screwdriver handy that I am willing to part with, if you've lost yours. If the price is right.

Hey Dave... you should go around town wearing one of those Julius Caesar headbands they make all the medalists wear. Might get you into the spirit.

Just don't bring up the Trojan war. I understand they're still touchy about that.

Woo Hoo! I'm 4th? A new record for me.

Dave, I can agree with your sentiments about that joke. If you have to carry out your threat, please make sure to put the ancient rock back where you found it once you are done. This way you will be able to get away with a misdemeanor (killing someone who made the "all greek" joke) as opposed to a felony (removing an ancient rock.) You should definitely insist on having access to an english-speaking attorney, saying "TIPIYOKTI" won't cut much ice with the local cops. Especially if the rock got chipped in the process. Have fun!

are there any new rocks?

Dave, just call them a malakas, then while they're thumbing through their English-Greek translation books you can hit them upside the head with a piece of spanokopita (pronounced TIPIYOKTI)which is about the same texture and density as an ancient rock. OPA!

"It's all Gree . . " Ha Ha, Ho Ho! Man that's rich!

Funny, I feel the same way after seeing the first 100 instances of "Tipiyokti."

Ancient joke = ancient rock. The punishment fits the crime.
Humans keep telling me to "don't fly too close to the sun!" Curses, ancient curses upon Daedelus and Icarus.

Dave, take it from someone who knows the industry: Even though you are one, you really need to stop hanging around journalists. :-)

Well, there are new rocks, but they are dressed up as old ones and sold to tourists.

Maybe those clever journalists could dress up in a small toga, buy a magazine, flip to the advertisement for the local brand name salt called 'Sal', and declare that they "like a little Caesar dressing with their Greek Sal ad."

Some interesting anagrams
"It's all Greek to me!"
Meeter kills toga
Mel lit, toga reeks

* MeL, this doesn't refer to you, Dear. *

ancient rock --> conk a cretin

Why don't you just kick them in the asterisk, Dave?

My, I have viable competition now! Well, beat THIS (it took me a little while): "MOTW" anagrams to "MOWT." Hah! There! Beat that!

Dave,just counter attack with some Springer-Speak:
Just shout out "I heard that!" every time someone says that..You will soon find yourself alone..

But don't kill anyone in a Fet-a rage..

Dat Phan, that joke was more labored than Hercules.

More anagrams"It's all Greek to me!"
(You'd have to pay a)- Smite a Greek toll
Get Leo, smite Karl
OK - greet, smite all

Just sprinkle a few of these beetles in their shorts

MKJ - loved the line
instructions included for "how to cultivate a hot Culture". Alas, they cannot be shipped internationally.

IT'S ALL GREEK TO ME = A TEETER SLOG MILK!

Hey Dave,
Remember when you "partied with" Mick Jagger at that hotel, and Nate (pronounced Nah-Tay) told you that you should "rock the Ceasar," well:
1. Why has nobody made a joke about that since you're in Greece? and
2. Why didn't you hit her with an ancient rock? That would have been worth the bail money.

Wait. "Rock" the "Ceasar" !!! OMG if I had done that on purpose, it would have been really witty and urbane. Too bad I'm such a total farmer.

Ceasar then hit her

That line was only ever funny in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" because it wasn't expected. Once the line's been repeated in a blockbuster movie, it should be laid to rest.

You know the joke I can't stand that I've heard approximately twenty thousand times while watching the Olympics?? "Well, Bob, I know you were going to ask this, but no! They will not be competing in the nude!" RAWR it makes me want to throw rocks at my TV! (Meanwhile "Bob" is thinking, How dare he include me in the delivery of his stupid inane joke?!?!)

Emily,Bob had the worst hair-dye job about ten days ago..I swear he had over spray on his fore head!

Is it just me, or did the comments from the previous blog post on toolsize just die?

Whew. It was just me.

anagrams for "Competing in the nude"
Oh, induce petting men
I need much petting, no?

WWTD?
What would Tony (the taxi driver) do?

Greet like am lost

Sure hitting people over the head with ancient rocks is funny until someone loses an eye.

Or not.

TINAK

Oh, and Shuttlecock!

I am sitting thinking to myself... "So if the journalist thinks he is funny when he says that, what is his reaction if Dave shouts "Allah Akbar" or "YEEEEE-HA" back at them?"

I like the "YEEEE-HAW!" idea. Especially if it's delivered with a big goofy smile, and like cocking your head back in the midst of it. That would be amazing.

Hey Dave,
I happen to be here in Athens (using the bus successfully...for the most part)...and I happen to speak Greek (so no, nothing is "Greek" to me, it is indeed "Chinese" as Cris states) and I even have trouble some times. Let me know if I can assist you in your visit. I would he honored to take you to dinner (ouzo and lamb innards are a special favorite, and I know just the place!) I presume you have access to my e-mail, if not let me know if you are indeed interested...(I bet you get random strangers offering to take you to dinner all the time) Maybe you can write your next article on the great Greek cuisine.

Do they have ancient foam rocks that you can throw at each other? They usually gouge the prices of those.

And now Dave gets dinner offers over the internet by whining.
STUD!

Agnes, do they really eat sheep's eyes?

Be careful with your threats, Mr. Barry. You know, ancient paper beats ancient rock. Every time.

Why do Greeks wear togas?
Or for that matter, why do Scottsmen wear kilts?

Sheep can hear zippers.

Sorry, had to be said.

Just make sure you use a whiffle rock, so nobody gets hurt.

Throw Dave into the arena so he can let out his aggression.

Jeff,
They do indeed...(well, some do). I will eat lamb brains (tastes like chicken...) but never did manage to eat the eyes...not sure why that would gross me out...

Mother: "Now, Nicky, you need to eat your lamb parts to grow up big and strong ..."

Nicky: "Awww, Mama! These EYES, they do not taste like chicken!"

Mother: "Well, all right, just pick them out and eat the brains."

Nicky: "Okay. Pass the ketchup, please."

Mama: "Nicky! Stop picking your brains!"

Nicky: "Yes, Mama."

MOTW: that reminds me of the old (bad) joke from when I was a kid.

"Mommy, mommy, aren't Mary's eyes pretty?"

"Yes dear, now put them back where you found them."

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