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August 06, 2004


The old-fashioned method is definitely better.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

UPDATE FOR WEIRDOS: Those of you who want pictures: Try this link.


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Gahhh! I'm just glad there weren't any pictures. I guess they have to do something with that liposuction stuff. But wouldn't it rot?

Oh, and FIRST!

Deep Fry!

The FIRST rue of fight club is we don't talk about fight club...

An Argentine sculptor of flab
Was creating statues quite fab
That sly seniorita
Carved out Evita
Now she's got one heck of a scab

Personally, I am upset there are no pictures. I mean, if you are going to have a gross mental image, you might as well see if the real thing lives up (or down) to it.

Mike Weasel, because at my job I have had a lot of extra time on my hands, I found out that pretty much every soap has a fat base. The basic soap recipe is fat & lye.

Except usually the fat isn't human fat.

They used to use fat made from pigs. After killing a pig, they'd use the fat to make soap. (Source: one of the "Little House" books- I think it was Little House in the Big Woods.)

Nowadays they often use stuff like olive oil or soy oil.

"It is an invitation to put our bodies in contact."-----------What the &%#&

I use Dove. Does that mean........?


now there are pictures. are you happy? ewwwwwww: and it tells us - "The grossly dramatic Life/Form(R) replicas of one- and five-pounds of human fat and muscle are a shocking but strongly motivating attention-getters..."

attention getters? Bleah.

Sadly I find this artist intriguing. I admire those who use the gross-out factor for fame. The irony is beautiful.

I did a quick search for more information and I found the following description "Nicola Constantino creates clothing using hyper-realistic silicon castings of human skin, nipples, anuses, and navels"

How about a suit of anuses?

I want to know who pays Nicola Constantino for her clothes. Government grants?


Such a suit should be required attire for lawyers.

She makes money by selling soap. Better than Farmer John's Meats.

Well Octavia,

Maybe not suits from anuses, but I was also looking around for pictures of her exhibit and came across the following excerpt:

"Asha meets synthetic artist Nicola Constantino sketching Recoleta's tombstones and is bowled over by her surreal handbag decorated with human anuses! Nicola takes Asha to her studio and uses a mold of her navel to decorate a purse, and invites Asha to a contemporary Argentinian artist's dinner where the sculptural 'chain of quail' and the 'vegetarian pig' are a big hit with the guests"

I saw Hyper-realistic Anuses in concert last year. I'm thinking they're more of a studio band.

"I know it is disgusting but I am also aware that those soaps have something that wakes up people's sexuality and eroticism."

By "people's" clearly she means "those who make Michael Jackson seem 'down home'."

Take a Shower with Me?

is there room now?

From the picture link:

"Each replica dramatically visualizes the important and motivating fact that 'every extra pound of fat requires an additional mile of blood vessels.'"

Huh?! I'm not sure what I should be motivated to do. I'm also not sure I want to know what I should be motivated to do.

Wow....On so many different levels...I...I..I..I.

Hope this doesn't catch on at Weight Watchers


"you gonna eat your fat?"
"No i'm gonna make soap out of it"

Just so it's clear, *I* never asked for the pictures.

(great, now I have to go look...)

An Argentine woman said that
She wanted to make soap from fat
When none could be found
She said it abounds!
And promptly showed them where it was at!

(Layne, I saw your pun, and raised again.)

Oh, well, those are just plastic replicas. I thought I'd be seeing pictures of the actual art pieces.

I once met a lady, quite slim,
And asked how she kept so trim.
She said it's an art,
But ere she did part,
Stacked me in soap to my chin!

Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no lean.
They both could bathe in tubs of it.
And keep each other clean.

I'll see your limericks and raise you a nursery rhyme.

an argentine lady accursed
with fat had her plumpness reversed,
then made soap erotic
for bathtime exotic
though nazis made human soap first.

Slowlayne wins this contest, hands (or fat) down.

Thank you Jeff.

And now a haiku:

Cellulite statues
The pounds are melting away
Butt can it be art?

I apologize for this:

My body I shall give to you
My body I shall lend
Take a lovely bath with me
And I shall be your friend.

What goes around, comes around
I know that this is true
What used to be my cellulite
Is now making you shiny and bright.

My love handles,
My thighs and hips,
Are now cleansing your fingertips.

They said, "No one will want your lipo fat",
But I couldn't choose to leave it at that
So now you're cleansing with me.

It's good to know your soap has a face,
A stomach, hands, a lovely waist
But before you get out of the tub too fast,
Also admire its lovely ***!

The public thinks it sucks for sure,
But body fat is soft and pure
And by washing your own body with me,
We'll come together intimately.

For a quarter of a grand, now I'm yours
And while the public may ignore
And not care about fat from body parts,
You'll admire it, and call it art!

Of COURSE I *HAVE* to look. And of COURSE I am reading this RIGHT AFTER LUNCH!

forget poetry.com. dave should start davebaretry.com. he gets a much higher caliber of art.

So I've got $7495.00 worth of stuff hanging on me?

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