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August 16, 2004

GETTING DRUNK

... in The Land Without Noses.

(Thanks to the persistent schnooky34)

Comments

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after 3 or 4 they all taste the same, right?

Especially Island Blue Pucker, which has a distinctly Windex-y taste!

On the plus side, no one ever again said

"How long are you going to keep us waiting for our schnapps, you incompetent wench?"

Only ONE of them thought it smelled funny?

"Don't drink it! I think it's poison!"

"No man, this is that Captain Morgan's deck swabbin' flavor. It's all good."

On the other hand, how many have used semi-processed schnapps on their toilet bowls, hmmm? I thought so. It's a fairly understandable mistake.

I'm reminded of the film "Heathers".

hey, everybody likes a little bubbly, don't they?

To paraphrase Mel Brooks in High Anxiety, "That waitress is NOT getting a tip!"

People who drink schnapps pretty much deserve what they get, nein?

I sort of understand how extremely drunk people wouldn't be able to tell the difference - ok, no I don't - but I ask you, how could an experienced bartender or waitress not recognize the difference when pouring? No matter how bad the schnapps is, I have never seen it foam up. Of course, I don't drink the stuff so that may be why.

Considering how often some people in small villages wash, it is entirely understandable how this could have gone unnoticed.

The waitress was probably thinking about how the stupid jerks kept leering at her blouse and making remarks about her sexual activities and grabbing her ass when she turned to leave and vomiting over the table and peeing all over the bathroom without aiming then leaving her a $1 tip with their UNWASHED hands and god she would just love to spit in their drinks one or even better.......

Oh wait, I'm projecting again.

So, in Austria they sell detergent and schnapps in similar containers?
I typically see cleaners in plastic jugs and alcohol in glass bottles.

Sure, that could happen to anybody. They look so much alike I have to be careful not to make that same mistake myself two or three times a week.

Christobol, loved "Captain Morgan's deck swabbin' flavor."

In Klagenfurt guests threw a fit
When a beer maiden had to admit
She served them detergent
Yes, it was quite urgent
Then she told them to schnapp out of it

Clearly, schnooky34 is at it again.

There! This is proof! You see, everyone? Judi ADMITS that she hates me!

Doug - don't feel so bad. We all hate you....

Kidding, I'm kidding! We LOVE our Doug B!

Oh, I mean, helluva haiku, slowlayne.

"Kidding," certainly you are. I know when I'm not wanted. TO JACK IN THE BOX!

Slowlayne.....echoing Doug. You rock.

Do the schnapps and detergent bottles look the same? And what are they doing next to each other?

"Rich, hearty Waldviertler Försterschnaps -- now with scrubbing bubbles!"

uh, if like somebody dies from drinking this could she be prosecuted? or maybe she needs new eyeglasses. she could clean them with the detergent. ewwwww.

Customer: "Waitress, what's this soap doing in my schnapps?"

Waitress: "Adhering to strict German purity laws."

Customer: "But those are for beer!"

Waitress: "Ach. In that case, it's doing the backstroke." [pauses] "I'm here all week, please to try the veal."

Bloglit-induced crash of Doug's Geocities site....

Don't think it said whether or not she had kids???

"Mo-om, Timmy got drunk off the hand soap again! Mom, my soup looks like motor oil. Mom..."

Meine Gott Leute, wir sind vergiftet worden! Und es ist sich auch nicht auf Alkohol diesmal bezogen! Wer hätte es möglich gedacht? Ich brauche einen bratwurst.

Oh boy! German! Du voy a celery ocken bistro Madonna pero gezundheit salutenbreathenshooter Dr. Phil ist sausagehead! I LOVE this game!

Klagenfurt waitress == eager straw flunks it

Ooh! Very nice! Two eProps for you, Man Of The Woman!

I think you're all being a bit hard on the poor waitress here. I worked in bars and restaurants for many years and I can assure you that this could happen to anyone. I mean, industrial strength detergent comes in 5 gallon drums with POISON written all over it and Vodka comes in 40 ounce bottles with VODKA written all over it. They are near impossible to tell apart....

Donkey shades, Herr Brockrautmeier

I'm surprised the customers couldn't tell the difference. Industrial strength cleaner goes down a lot smoother...

slowlayne - you are quite clever and your poems always make me laugh...THANKS!

That's one way to clean your arteries...

Brendan,
If I'm not mistaken, I believe schnapps DOES come in 5 gallon drums in Austria.

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