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August 30, 2004


On Eighth Avenue near Times Square there's a clothing store with a sign that says "ANNOYING REPUBLICAN CONVENTION SALE."

Not far away is a store with a sign that says "MALE BODY BOOTHS." Does anybody know what that means? I should stay the heck out of there, right?

For a more comprehensive report on the Republican convention -- and when I say "more comprehensive," I mean "largely false" -- you can read my report in the Miami Herald here.


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Knock 'em dead Dave.

say hi to the president for me.

oh, and slap a protester for me too.

Of course you should go into the MALE BODY BOOTHS store, Dave. How else are the rest of us ever going to know what's in there, if you don't tell us?

Maybe there are Female Body Booths close by, with Child Body Booths in many little rows not far behind ... scary.

One question: "girding for big fun"?
TMI, Dave, TMI.

Annoying Republican Convention Sale.... hee hee hee!

Reminds me of a bar here (in beautiful Kenosha, WI) that has a marquee out front advertising warm beer, bad service, and ugly bartenders.

I really want to go there.

I think the booths are where the double handed dinghy men go to relax....

I think the booths are from the [females] [males] "Of the Opposite Sex" chain of stores.

*typing slowly so I don't do more damage to my neck*

Male Body Booths. Get your Male Body here.

Personalities sold seperately.


Glad your damaged neck hasn't affected your sense of humor, Punk.

Male Body Booths sound like private places where Judi can go...uh...have some fun.

Of course you should go in, Dave, you're a male right? Right?

Polly, when we were in Vegas last year we saw a sign advertising "Cold Beer. Dirty Girls. Bikini Bullriding." I mean could you pass that up? Well, maybe you could, but... anyway, I was crushed to see it was only on Wednesday nights and we arrived Thursday. But this year (cunningly) we're getting in Wednesday afternoon, so my fingers are crossed.

Punky, you're here! How are you feeling?

I'm OK, Jeff ... the drugs seems to be helping quite a bit ... but the pink elephant in the middle of the room keeps asking me to dance. Can he not see that I'm injured?!

Thanks for asking


If you guys get me drunk enough when we meet in Vegas for Dave's AARP thingy I'll ride a bull in my utility belt bikini.

Do you think the bull will fuss about wearing my bikini?

(Takes down Polly's words and gets lawyer on phone to get affidavit signed. Wife will be too busy playing video poker to notice... Hell, forget that, a few Chubby moataritas and... whoops, didn't mean to say that out loud.)

OK Dave, I read your column and -- crack notwithstanding -- New York really brings out the best in you. I'd rank that a perfect 10 and say you've topped all of your Athens Olympics columns on the first crack (sorry) out of the bottle (wink wink). So have a Moatarita on us, you'll need all you can drink this week.

"Yes, I'd like to register a complaint."
"'Bout what?"
"Your male body booths."
"What about 'em?"
"Well. Look at me!"
"Look pal, it just says 'male body'. You see the word 'good' anywhere? Didn't think so. Now feck off."

Dave, why don't you come visit ? We've got warm beer and an ugly hostess and we're a direct if not short subway ride away.

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