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August 25, 2004


It's the "one-on-one relationship with his audience" that makes him so special.

(Thanks to Andrew Lucy)


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We've established what he is; we're just dick ring over the price.

I had a ring one time.

And this has been - "The Quiet Storm"


Love it, Chris. bichphoeck, Quiet Storm was a recurring skit on SNL with Tim Meadows playing the host Chris "Champagne" Garnett (seemed like a tribute to Venus Flytrap).

You'd think he'd go by Richard, or Rick or SOMETHING... but nooooooooo

Mr Ring missed his true calling as a porn star ... look at what they had to say about him ...

"The screamers and shouters come .."

"you don’t last long unless you have something to offer"

"If you had to pin it down, however, I guess you’d have to say that it’s his special one-on-one relationship... "

"... that has made Dick Ring one of the most ... enduring professionals ... today"

See what I'm sayin'?

There's a Ford Dealer in Kansas, Richard Edwards Ford. You know what happens with that.

what's in a name?

juliet ...

apparently a dick?

punky I don'e see what you're saying. Explain it in greater detail. Pleeeease.

echo ...

I'll send you a picture ... how's that?

Just don't post it or my ex will sue me ;)

He must be an alien from another planet or maybe just Greece. No right minded United States citizen would ever willingly be called Dick especially if his last name is Ring. I think he's trying to infiltrate our government by using "technology" and the "radio". Don't believe a word he says. It's lies, all lies. Quick, call Homeland Security!

A nickname for Richard is Rick
Or Rich might just do the trick
They have a nice ring
But the main thing
I'm saying is don't be a Dick

Bravo, slowlayne

Reminds me of an insurance agent that used to have a HUGE sign in front of his office in Cincinnati.

Dick Burns Insurance

Giggled every time I passed that damn thing.

There's a neurologist in St. Louis named Dick Head...seriously. He's even paged at the hospital that way.

That neurologist must have one hell of a sense of humor ...

But seriously folks ... if you name your son Richard, please, for the love of all that is boogers ... don't let them call themselves Dick. Or Dicky. Or any other variation of Dick.

Thanks in advance.

ENT in Indianapolis named Richard Biggerstaff.

slyeyes is right - Dick Head

gotta be prepared for all the jokes if you walk around with that moniker. maybe its a stage name, and his real name is maurice knoodlekopf.

You gotta wanna take the parents aside and ask....What were you thinking.

I'll bet really Dick pierces the air waves in Tampa.

isn't it obvious?


A realtor in Louisville, KY is Dick Johnson. Why don't these people change their own names. I know I certainly would.

I'll bet I drank my lunch again.


BrianB , I think he's AKA Edward Scissorhands

Actually, "Dick" is his middle name.

His first name is "Enormous"

jilly, maybe he already did. Maybe he had a worse name before:

(Excerpted From Robin Hood: Men In Tights)
Prince John: "Such an unusual name...Latrine...How did your family come by it?"
Latrine: "We changed it in the ninth century."
Prince John: "You mean you changed it TO Latrine?"
Latrine: "Yeah, use to be Sh!thouse."
Prince John: "Thats a good change...good change."

Of course, I can't really think of a worse name than "Dick Ring". Maybe "Norbert". "Norbert Wangburn". That would be a bad name.

Eh, six of one, half dozen of the other, I'd change my name either way.

When Richard Chopp goes by Dick, the terrorists have already won.

Kamita DePeau would be a terrible name.

There is no way I would let a Dr. Dick Chopp perform a vasectomy on me !

OB/GYN in Northern VA (retired): C. Harry Beaver.

Dick Ring is a funny name and,
His voice is beamed 'cross the land,
He hates screamers and shouters,
But there are no doubters,
It Would Be A Good Name For A Band.


...and "Double Phallic" WBAGNFAR album.

Oops, sorry. It's Harry C. Beaver.

I woke up this morning with a Hugh G. Rection.

His generous wife - Cher

His lethargic son - Ty

His uninteresting son - Beau

I knew someone in middle school named Harry Sachs.

That's nothing. Best friend growing up was named "Genital Wart Eruption"

The III, I believe.

When I went to the page I noticed that the ad on the right said this: "Want the best prices on custon rims?...."
hmmm odd that.

anyhow it doesn't come up everytime but if you refresh a lot it will

"Who but the Cubs?"

Well, at least he's not with the Yankees.

"Dick is, by far, one of the top morning personalities in the Tampa Bay area."

Folks, am I the only one who found that statement semi-literate at best. That's like saying he's one of the most unique personalities. Lose the "by far" and change it to "surely" or something like it. (I know, "Don't call me Shirley.")

Can't believe no one mentioned this one. In my school days we'd write Dick Hertz on the sign-in sheet for subs, hoping they'd ask "Whose...?"

You've been a beautiful audience. Thank you and goodnight.


He kind of looks like my jr high principal...He was a dick too

With an opening line like "Dick Ring" it is hard to come up with something original ... I temped in a realtor's office once, and one of the agents was named Dick Hamburger. Having seen ample proof of people's inability to pick sane names for their children, I think there should be a tribunal set up somewhere, and if your name is deemed either embarassing, a really bad word play, or just detrimental to the respect you get in the profession you chose, you get one free change. It's only fair after all... and if you or your partner are pregnant THINK about all the possible damage you could do to your child and pick their name carefully ... otherwise I am prepared to collaborate with someone on a book of names guaranteed not to embarass anybody.. and not rhyme with anything intimate or a body part

Of course that was meant to say "Who's Dick Hertz?" (but read as "Whose").

And let me once again recommend John Train's little book Remarkable Names of Real People with such wonderful monikers as:

George Baretits
Gaston J. Feeblebunny
Supraporn Poopatana
Hyman Peckeroff
Humperdinck Fangboner
Ave Maria Klinkerberg
Cinderella Hardcock
Aphrodite Chuckass (great Olympics name!)
Siddhartha Greenblatt
Sharon Willfahrt
Daphne Reader's Digest Taione
Santiago Nudelman

I am not making these up! This is not a haiku.

for those of you that know what a WAWA is:

on the back of all their ice cream containers is a little message. the message is signed by the president (or someone) of WAWA. his name is Dick Wood.

Two spelling errors in my last post:

Ave Maria Klinkenburg
Superporn Poopattana (this one was from memory)

and just a few more:
Sodawater Bottlewalla
Mustafa Kunt
Mary Louise Pantzaroff (a favorite)
Mrs. Belcher Wack Wack (who could have been played
by Margaret Dumont in those Marx Brothers

Does that page really say that Dick is warm? Wow.

My father used to be a debt collector and he used to tell us the funniest/most unusual names he came across in his work... my personal favourite was the guy who legally changed his name to Count Sexfruit

I do not understand all the fuss about people's names. What gives?

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