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July 21, 2004


Only outlaws will be allowed to go to the bathroom.

(Thanks to a bunch o' youse. You wanna make something of it?)


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No one cares

razor versus straw dispenser
15 to one on razor guy ...

Pocket razor knife eh? Well, that's no match for my +5 VORPAL BURGER KING STRAW DISPENSER OF DOOM!!!!

[cheesy organ music here]

I agree with SECOND about first

i thought homeland insecurity was supposed to defend us from straw dispensers like this. shouldnt we be on orange alert, with all these straw dispensers out there, hunh, secretary ridge?

As long as no-one tries to bring a straw dispenser on an airplane, it's OK.

Hey, when a man's gotta pee...a man's gotta pee.

Quote from Liar Liar:
Fletcher: Your honor, would the court be willing to grant me a short bathroom break?
Judge: Can't it wait?
Fletcher: Yes it can. But I've heard that if you hold it you could damage the prostate gland,
making it very difficult to get an erection, or even become aroused!
Judge: Is that true?
Fletcher: It has to be!
Judge: In that case I'd better take a quick break myself.


I agree elle. It looks like that giant white bear is eating that little girl...

this is empirical confirmation that you DO NOT always 'get it your way' at burger king.

Sorry, Bangi, we're going to need a little more than just '8th' from you around here, sweetpea...

Either that kid is tiny, or that stuffed dog would give Clifford a run for his money...

Both those guys should consider themselves lucky. My dad can spend upwards of forty-five minutes in the bathroom and doesn't need a weapon to assault you afterwards.

This story actually made the local tv news, which shows you: the summer really is a slow news season. Oh, and they mentioned the straw dispenser but neglected to note the other guy's knife.

My question is how was the dispenser used? Did he just smack the other guy with it or did he keep pushing the little lever and shooting straws at him?? Also, if there were straws in the dispenser, is it now considered a loaded weapon? Obviously I have too much spare time. Maybe I should go back & try chasm again.

This whole straw dispenser episode reminded me of Seinfeld's pez dispenser episode, although you might not want to try and assault somebody with one of those.

Reminds me of the scene from Crocodile Dundee, where a guy pulls out a knife and attempts to mug them. The girl says, "Watch out ... he's got a knife!"

"Aww, c'mon Mate! THAT'S not a weapon ..."
* reaches for loaded straw dispenser *
"THIS is a weapon!"

MOTW - I flashed on that same scene "now THIS is a knife!"

This may be a consequence of the handicap access laws. A lot of businesses had no ability or room to expand their toilets, so they just removed one to make room for the increased room needed for the remaining handicapped unit. This cut available toilets in half, doubling wait time.
How much better just to ask businesses to post that they had no accessable facilities, costing them the handicap business.

"My question is how was the dispenser used? Did he just smack the other guy with it or did he keep pushing the little lever and shooting straws at him??"

LOL, iolite. Loved the image of him shooting straws from the little gizmo. I don't think that would stop an enraged guy with a knife, no matter how small it was!

Jeff, too true, unless he dropped the knife from laughing :)

OK, if the guy had to wait so long, don't you think he'd have to take care of business before brandishing a weapon?

Maybe he was doing the "potty dance" in a threatening manner... I'm picturing something out of West Side Story...

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