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July 26, 2004

URGENT CONVENTION UPDATE

The Red Sox beat the New York Yankers.

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"Saturday's pulsating, brawl-inspired walkoff win over the Yanks"

Pulsating??

I love it when the Red Sox beat the Yankers. The only problem now is that after that defeat, the Yankers will buy Randy Johnson for a billion dollars.

Red Sox beat the Yankees? Maybe Nader has a chance after all!

yay kevin millar, the original "nice socks" guy. well, one of them, anyway.

hate the yankees. hate steinf****r even more. hate the sox more. Met fan. I gotta believe. I gotta believe the mets need a new bullpen. I speak the plain truth - I know when my team sux ... but they still be my team. i will hate the yankees forever.

qb - Then you would've appreciated the jersey I saw at Shea the other week. It was the '86 Mets Home pin stripes with the #86 with the embroidered name: BUCKNER

yep, uncle, i sure woulda!

SNL used to have a recurring skit called the "Steinbrenner Death Watch" which covered his medical appointments with disappointment when no health issues cropped up.

I'd just like to point out that the word "baseball" is not mentioned anywhere in the article, at least as far as I was able to read. Isn't it nice to up on memes and know what's going on, if not why?

Am I the first Cubs fan to post? Yippee! Nasty boys in Gotham and Beantown.

Dave, one word: 1918.

Or if you prefer: 1946-1967-1975-1986.

One more time:
1923-1927-1928-1932-1936-1937-1938-1939-1941-1943-1947-1949-1950-1951-1952-1953-1956-1958-1961-1962-1977-1978-1996-1998-1999-2000.

queensbee: a less pathetic offense would help, not to mention a manager who doesn't pitch a 43 year old lefty against righties!

queensbee, I feel the same way about the Redskins, even though they have sucked at least a decade.

Football......** long juicy raspberry ** Who cares! Band geeks of the world unite. Revenge of the nerds forever!

URGENT POETRY UPDATE

I have just recieved word from poetry.com that my work, 'Why I'm So Messed Up' by Buttleak Ing Pustule, is a semi-finalist for the $1,000 monthly prize. (For those who forgot about this credit to art worldwide, let me refresh you of my poem, written over a period of 5 minutes while clad only in my most artistic underwear):

'The squirrels are here/ Within my head/ If they lay eggs/ I might be dead/ I hate the squirrels/ Within my brain/ I hit tem with a shovel/ But that caused me pain/ The squirrels got angry/ And vowed revenge/ They got it/ And did something that rhymes with revenge/ Possibly 'syringe' or something/ But I don't know/ Because that revenge thing/ Made me eat crow/ The crow was delicious/ And shut up the rodents/ The end/ Now go to sleep.

Anyway, I'm a semi-finalist, and will automatically be entered into the finals. So I've already won the semis as well! Yay! And the following quotes from the letter are pure comedy:

"Buttleak... Imagine your poem featured on a page by itself in a beautiful coffee-table edition!" (Although they capitalized most of the words to show how impressed they were.)
"Before going any further, Buttleak, let me make one thing clear...your poem was selected for publication, and as a contest semi-finalist, on the basis of your unique talent and artistic vision."
"As a poet chosen for publication, you will also be eligible to attend The International Society of Poet's Summer Convention and Symposium, to be held in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, August 13-15, 2004. Keep the date, a formal invitation will be sent to you soon."
They also ask me if I want to include my 'motivations, the meaning poetry has in your life, the story behind your poem, or your personal philosophical point of view.' If I chose to do this, the art-house hacks who wound up reading it would likely suffer major brain poppage.

Dave, when that invitation comes, I'll be unable to go to Philly, so I'll be asking you to go in my place. Just remember, my work is copyrighted (poetry.com was nice enough to do that for me), so I get the money if I win something.

mtvcdm,
Congratulations on your artistic accomplishment. That poem is so beautiful it's like poetry or something. A little rat poison in your ear may take care of those squirrels.

YES! I expect and hope to see this headline many more times.

Kerry threw out the ceremonial first pitch.

The Red Sox won.

You do the math.

(GO RED SOX!! EAT @#$% AND DIE YANKEES!!)

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