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July 24, 2004

UPDATE

I'm back from Idahhhhhhho, and now, on the theory that there is nothing more fun in this world than being repeatedly frisked at security checkpoints, I'm heading for Boston. Starting Monday the Miami Herald will be briefly interrupting its coverage of Shaquille O'Neal to carry my reports on the Democratic convention, as well as stories written by real journalists actually trying to be accurate.

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OH yeah!!

En Fuego!!!!!

Here!!!

Yo!

Let's get it right this time!

well, you're only half right about your competition. they may be real journalists, but they aren't trying to be accurate. so just think of yourself as another of the commentators, but you're more genuine.

Hope you enjoy your visit, Dave!

welcome back, Dave. did you miss us?
group frisk! *frisk frisk frisk*

OK, we've waited for two weeks Dave, why Idaho?? My son lives in Idaho, when I asked him why someone whould come to Idaho for a vacation he didn't have a clue. His only response was "Tumbleweed fan???". He basically told me he thought people only came to Idaho if someone made them (like the military). My son would like to know also, maybe he missed something in the last 4 years of driving around and looking for something to do.

Dave - do give us an update on the "Big Dig", I haven't been back to Boston in 3 years, and inquiring minds want to know what sort of new traffic jam Boston has become while trying to fix their old traffic problem. I'm sure this will be handy information to pass along when they try to fix 395 in Miami.

Dave, you'd do a lot better at the convention, not to mention having an easier time getting through crowds of your fellow journalists, if you brought Shaq with you to run interference. Just a hint.

Welcome back on duty, Dave. Do they actually allow competing candidates to cover the convention?

A few unsolicited thoughts on Boston:
1) do not accept any rides from Kennedys
2) that is not trash in the harbor, those are 200 year old tea bags
3) if you notice a lot of hot air, its because the conventioneers and citizens are full of beans
4) the federal government spent billions of dollars to dig a big hole in downtown Boston so the traffic could be snarled underground

Go Dave!!

Idaho? No, you da ho...

Wheee!
(aka mtvcdm)

and if you cant find a place to park, keep driving west till you hit albany. you can park in front of my house and take amtrakto boston.

Dave: Just a suggestion. Go back to Idaho. Tell your editor you're in Boston. Make up your reports (they'll be close enough). Buy a Red Sox hat at the Boise Walmart (to reinforce the illusion). When you get back tell everyone how miserable you were, the Dems are as crazy as the Republicans, and that the Sox can't play defense. Voila! Extra week of vacation!

But really, would you want to spend an extra week in Idaho if you didn't have to?

Dave, what's the Boston scoop on the A-Rod/Varitek lovefest?

Mel, if Dave's making the whole thing up, then he could go where he wants, right?

I have to ask: is the "Idahhhhhhho" a reference to the Four Seasons song from the album "Genuine Imitation Life"? It's written like it's sung.
Yes, I have this album (big vinyl disc with a groove on each side for you young 'ens) and the tune will not get out of my head now.

Um, Dave, Boston is not going to be a pretty place this week. We have a giant multi-billion dollar hole called the Big Pig and the harbor stinks worse than the Dave Barry Sewage Treatment Plant.

Maybe you should just go as far as Hartford and stay there. The beer is cheaper and there's a lot less traffic.

flip off a democrat for me.

Not Hartford. I spent a year there one week.

Would it be wrong to eat a bratwaurst for breakfast?

bratwurst...

Ah, hell. I'll stick to Nutter Butters.

FYI: While in Boston, never refer to a lollipop as a "sucker". This innocent midwestern colloquialism will result in locals laughing at you until tears spring to their eyes. Cheers.

Welcome to our fair city. Three things to remember: 1)If you drive, don't show fear. 2)Car rhymes with law. 3)The phrase "Yankees Suck" works in any situation. If your near Kenmore (think Fenway Park), let me know and I'll buy you a beer.

Interesting. In Boston they will laugh at you for calling a lollipop a "sucker." Anywhere else they will laugh at you for being a grown man with a lollipop. Maybe the Democrats chose Boston so they can suck in friendly environs.

"Anywhere else they will laugh at you for being a grown man with a lollipop."


So you say.

Look is isn't a blog until you start complaining about your parents not letting you out of the house and quiz results saying I'm sad and goth. Now start being emo

Gee Wally, why would we want to do that?

Well yeah Alex he could go wherever he wanted if he was making it all up, but there was the suggestion of going back to Idaho for a week. Definately a decision I would veto.

"OK, we've waited for two weeks Dave, why Idaho?? My son lives in Idaho, when I asked him why someone whould come to Idaho for a vacation he didn't have a clue. His only response was "Tumbleweed fan???". He basically told me he thought people only came to Idaho if someone made them (like the military). My son would like to know also, maybe he missed something in the last 4 years of driving around and looking for something to do."

Hey, how about some defense of the Potato state. I live in Washington and I've traveled through North Idaho quite a bit. I've never been to the South part, but N. ID is actually a very beautiful place, if foresty surroundings are your thing.

And this is coming from a Floridian---I may live in Washington, but Jacksonville is my home.

hey, least boston's not flooded.i finally get vacation time and thr's oh so many of inches of water everywhr...like a moat....
mmmm
moat...

Idaho.. no Udaho.

Such a lot of hostility toward Idahoians... Idahites? Idahoers?

Kojak, everyone was laughing at you. Now go back to being dead.

A moat? A moat, that's it!! Great idea for security, put a moat around the convention center with a drawbridge and troll who asks all who wish to enter for the airspeed of an unladen swallow.

Dave for Pres! Dave for Pres! Dave for Pres!

I think we're in for a surprise DNC when they nominate DAVE FOR PRES!

.... and then he refuses on the grounds that Low Flo Toilets are not on their agenda. Things like Health Care, Budget (rentals) and International Realtions don't hold a candle to Low Flo Toilets!

Dave for Pres! Dave for Pres! Dave for Pres!

The airspeed of an unladen swallow, is something brough up on BBC radio 4's Home Truths, quite a lot. Is this a direct reference to the same programme or are other programmes on various media using this baffling question to fill up time as well?

Baffling question why. Well what does a swallow usually carry?? and second, why does it really matter. Most importantly and this is what I can't believe, the fact that there hasn't been an ornithologist dedicated enough (and boy are they dedicated!) to time this breed and finally discover the unladen air speed once and for all.

But seriously? Idaho! Doesn't most birds fly around that state because it's so boring?

Lo flo toilets are quite amazing, aren't they the ones with half a flush or a full one, depending on need? First saw them in australia, england lacks behind the advances of the toilet industry unlike other countries.

Although I've never felt the urge to use a bidet(sp?).

I like the new ones (toilets, not bidets) that will flush 27 golf balls. Where were they when my sons were growing up? Once they plugged one so badly, the plumber took a sledgehammer to it just to see what object he couldn't dislodge!

sidrat: to understand references to unladen swallows, rent the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." Well perhaps it may not understandable after that, but at least you'll know the origin (I believe that is where it started). Also if you search online for the words: air speed unladen swallow -- you will find serious internet sites devoted to a scientific analysis of the topic - for some reason.

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